Forum survival questions

JFTD said:
I have three brown saddles and one black one... with red piping. What kind of monster does that make me?



I'm always up for a barbecue... Curried horse leg sounds terrific.

I can't decide which yard to go to... There's two options - one has no winter turnout, the school is surfaced with cow excrement and the yard "cat" (actually a lovechild of the YO's pet lion and her ex-OH*'s pet tiger) likes to chase the horses. Oh and the YO is an axe wielding maniac who barbecues curried horse legs in her garden. The other yard seems really nice - fields, stables, nice arena, no sign of any wild animals or grotesquely sickening violence at all. But it's £5 more a month... What should I do?

*I say "ex", they're still together, but he's in prison for murdering previous liveries. She was accused too, but her lawyer got her off on a technicality. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about though...
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Hilariously and worryingly accurate...........:eek3:
 
Forget the matchy matchy, bling etc and follow my rule. The only gadget you need is a bit of blue pipe and the ability to know if and/or when you may need to use it.
 
AdorableAlice said:
Forget the matchy matchy, bling etc and follow my rule. The only gadget you need is a bit of blue pipe and the ability to know if and/or when you may need to use it.
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Ghastly! :eek3: Not a lunge whip?? :rolleyes3:

TFF, off to report AA to ...err....... someone big and ...err....
* speed dials transport to collect Ted the Twit and friends*

:p
 
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Downton Dame said:
should I go bitless? which bitless bridle? yes you should! and barefoot and treeless whilst you are at it. then at least when your horse tanks off and you have no brakes and steering we wont be able to hear you coming.
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Giggling like a child at my work desk with that!
 
I have one set of black tack and one set of brown. One pony is barefoot the other is shod. I'm not quite 80 yet and I don't do matchy matchy or bling.

Do I have a serious physcological problem?

I know there are so many professionals on here and I would rather not go and see a real doctor about it when I can get such good free advice from so many with so few real medical qualifications on the forum.
 
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Lindylouanne said:
I have one set of black tack and one set of brown. One pony is barefoot the other is shod. I'm not quite 80 yet and I don't do matchy matchy or bling.

Do I have a serious physcological problem?

I know there are so many professionals on here and I would rather not go and see a real doctor about it when I can get such good free advice from so many with so few real medical qualifications on the forum.
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Yes you have a problem but do not fret... no need to consult any professional when you can get excellent, free advice from us here :)

Once you get rid of the shoes and black tack you will feel much better :D
 
OldNag said:
Yes you have a problem but do not fret... no need to consult any professional when you can get excellent, free advice from us here :)

Once you get rid of the shoes and black tack you will feel much better :D
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Thank you ON I knew I could rely on the power of HHO to solve my problem for me. I will summon the relevant farrier to remove shoes immediately and throw my black tack away with the recycling on Friday. I have a lovely spare MW saddle in brown that won't fit the pony in the slightest but he can have it anyway because it's brown and everyone says it's ok to do that. I will be back in about two weeks for more advice because he will be bucking me off at every opportunity because it doesn't fit or I could just put lots of dead sheep underneath. What do you think?
 
Lindylouanne said:
Thank you ON I knew I could rely on the power of HHO to solve my problem for me. I will summon the relevant farrier to remove shoes immediately and throw my black tack away with the recycling on Friday. I have a lovely spare MW saddle in brown that won't fit the pony in the slightest but he can have it anyway because it's brown and everyone says it's ok to do that. I will be back in about two weeks for more advice because he will be bucking me off at every opportunity because it doesn't fit or I could just put lots of dead sheep underneath. What do you think?
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Oh god, don't get a farrier you poor simple soul - you need an Indian foot therapist
 
OldNag said:
Yes you have a problem but do not fret... no need to consult any professional when you can get excellent, free advice from us here :)

Once you get rid of the shoes and black tack you will feel much better :D
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Oh for goodness sake, anyone with an ounce of equestrian knowledge knows that she'd be better off using fullered- heart-banana-shoes on her horse! :mad3: and LL, you just ride in any tack you like m'dear but try not to go out in public :)
 
Can I get diamontes to stick on my tack? I know you can get diamonte brow bands but I have a pink bridle to match my pink Barbie saddle so don't want them as they are black. Anywhere else I can put bling I want to look as much like Barbie as possible? I have a pink saddle cloth with hearts on, pink sheepskin lined boots and pink glitter hoof oil, I wear a pink show jacket and pink jodhpurs but everyone gives me funny looks when I go showing why shouldn't I be allowed to express myself?


(Disclaimer I have black tack blue boots and saddle cloth and no bling and black jodpurs and only hack or school in real life lol)
 
Crazy_cat_lady said:
Can I get diamontes to stick on my tack? I know you can get diamonte brow bands but I have a pink bridle to match my pink Barbie saddle so don't want them as they are black. Anywhere else I can put bling I want to look as much like Barbie as possible? I have a pink saddle cloth with hearts on, pink sheepskin lined boots and pink glitter hoof oil, I wear a pink show jacket and pink jodhpurs but everyone gives me funny looks when I go showing why shouldn't I be allowed to express myself?


(Disclaimer I have black tack blue boots and saddle cloth and no bling and black jodpurs and only hack or school in real life lol)
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Presumably because you haven't bothered to complete your look with these...

23155079_1615047508557111_4733838741573700777_o.jpg


How lazy can you get :rolleyes3:
 
Crazy_cat_lady said:
Can I get diamontes to stick on my tack? I know you can get diamonte brow bands but I have a pink bridle to match my pink Barbie saddle so don't want them as they are black. Anywhere else I can put bling I want to look as much like Barbie as possible? I have a pink saddle cloth with hearts on, pink sheepskin lined boots and pink glitter hoof oil, I wear a pink show jacket and pink jodhpurs but everyone gives me funny looks when I go showing why shouldn't I be allowed to express myself?


(Disclaimer I have black tack blue boots and saddle cloth and no bling and black jodpurs and only hack or school in real life lol)
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Its not the diamante or pink that people give you funny looks for. It's because you haven't given your horse pink highlights in its mane and tail. There are certain standards that are required in a showring.

What colour is your horse? You haven't given enough details for us to make recommendations.
 
Lindylouanne said:
Thank you ON I knew I could rely on the power of HHO to solve my problem for me. I will summon the relevant farrier to remove shoes immediately and throw my black tack away with the recycling on Friday. I have a lovely spare MW saddle in brown that won't fit the pony in the slightest but he can have it anyway because it's brown and everyone says it's ok to do that. I will be back in about two weeks for more advice because he will be bucking me off at every opportunity because it doesn't fit or I could just put lots of dead sheep underneath. What do you think?
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Dead sheep all the way....

Honestly, surely everyone knows it is how the saddle looks that is important anyway. Fit is subjective.
 
catkin said:
Those are rock-and-roll
But I couldn't wear them on my native unless they had shimmery matching spurs on them :)
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Your wish is my command...

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If they're not shimmery enough, we can spray them over with glitter spray. I'll even throw in some blinged up pink shiny spur straps..

ir%20pardouz%20spur%20straps%20black-pink%20edited-180x180.jpg
 
OldNag said:
Dead sheep all the way....

Honestly, surely everyone knows it is how the saddle looks that is important anyway. Fit is subjective.
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But the OP has already stated that it's her spare saddle. Why is it a spare? probably because it's not the best looking saddle they've got.

I have to disagree with you here, the OP needs to go out and buy the flashiest, super-duper, all-singin'-all-dancin' saddle she can find Right Away (in brown natch). Poor pony, having to put up with other's spares.
 
JFTD said:
Your wish is my command...

s-l300.jpg


If they're not shimmery enough, we can spray them over with glitter spray. I'll even throw in some blinged up pink shiny spur straps..

ir%20pardouz%20spur%20straps%20black-pink%20edited-180x180.jpg
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wow

On second thoughts I think perhaps it's my pony who's wrong. What's the best way to bleach a dark pony coat and dye it pink?
 
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