"free assisted" DIY saga continues - put it in writing now !!!!!

GS - thank you. You have hit the nail on the head.

Yes, this YO is my friend, she's very special. That's why I am happy at the yard, despite having to make things very clear to the two others.
 
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amymay said:
Well the yo is certainly being walked all over. And subsequently that's why these people behave as they do.

Ill or not, they need to get a grip of the situation. I've never heard anything like it..
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I have to be honest Im inclined to agree here.
Maybe the YO could just write up a list of rules and anyone who doesn't abide by them leaves. Simples ;)
I do appreciate that she is older etc but could she not get someone to act on her behalf??
You shouldnt have to be putting up with crap like this xx
 
amymay said:
Seems like it. But I've only ever been on professionaly run yards thankfully.
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The thing is little yards like this are not professional at all that's the base of the issue ,old lady big house, kids had horses years ago old lady likes to see the horses reminds her of times long gone ( I'll have myself in tears in a minute ) or some similar story .
 
What a weirdo. Hopefully they'll eventually come to terms with your independence!

Or just say "Sure I'll look after your horse on Christmas Day. £100 per horse per day, prepay only.
 
I do think the YO could be more proactive and at least tell the ringleader to wind her neck in

The YO may be old but she sounds reasonably active in body and mind and really there is no excuse

I hope you get it sorted, i think you are right to stand your ground
 
Even when there was a weekend net rota, during Xmas and NY was a different story. Do it yourself or sort it out among friends.

Chin up, chick and don't burn yourself ... its all at boiling point now but it will settle. They or she will get it or go. Good luck xx
 
New person arrived at our yard & instantly expected to only attend once a day (there is no yo assistance paid or otherwise)
Looking very surprised as I refused to take charge of bringing in her horse daily, her comment was "so its proper diy here then" - er yes,
What is it with people, if you can't handle diy, either pay for full or don't have a horse
Op congrats, stick to your guns & don't be intimidated.
 
Shysmum said:
One of these liveries leaves her dog at the yard, so that the YO takes her for a walk. i took the YO's dog home with me yesterday, as YO was at a meeting all day. I mentioned it (how this dog got on at my house, jokingly), and this livery said " SO MY DOG WAS ALONE ALL DAY ??????" Erm yes, you leave her here for hours a day.....

She was pissed off about that. Never met anyone like these two tbh. So that, plus my note will have gone down like a bucket of ***** from the Eiffel Tower.

Perhaps I should write a book about all my experiences on livery yards (name and shame even ?).
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So basically, on top of everything else, one of the other liveries thinks that she should get free doggy day care, since she's paying a DIY livery fee for a horse? Besides that it isn't a horse, exactly how does that fit together with the concept of Do It Yourself!

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I honestly find it easier to move yards when there's a character like this, no matter how good the yard.

There is one, thankfully only one, at my yard, and it wouldn't matter how much you reasoned with her, she just has a tantrum or brings up one of her list of many excuses as to why she can't look after her own horses or do her fair share.

Shes the one that pays for one stable but uses two, and brings her horses in at nights randomly when it suits her. I came back from hunting to a total screaming fit from her because i had used the spare stable, because i pay for two but can only use one indoor stable otherwise, because i had not mucked out before i left. Apparently i should have got up earlier and also guessed she wanted to use it at 3pm. This is after a year of turning her horses out for her many times with no thanks, taking her horse to the vet and back and generally being considerate. The next morning she rocked up at 11am to turn her horses out...

We do have a rota for turning out, and i dont mind it, even though mine are not in at nights yet. But if course what this character does is leave her horses out when its my turn, to make a point (because i stood up to her when she ranted at be) so i don't own horses on her day, because i dont feel confident in her, and the whole thing breaks down. She has also let all the horses out of the field a few times, which is a worry...

As i say, i generally find people like this best avoided, so although i love my yard, im considering moving.
 
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The lady needs to back off .. She has no right bossing u around ! Just out of interest .. If she had come to u and said .'.I'm really stuck with bringing in on a Monday and Thursday as I work shifts is there any chance u could help me ? I'm happy to pay or bring in for u Tuesday and Friday 'what would u have said ?
I understand this has been not been the case .. In fact she has demanded u do the horse ! ( very rude) but just wondered if she had been sweet and polite would the out come have been different .
I am not in ur situation ..we r on a yard that offers assistance .. U have to use the job service and can not do each others horses .. UNLESS she is out or competing then she doesn't care who does what .
I'm very good friends with the lady who owns the horse next to mine ..( our horses have been together for 5 years) and at Christmas we have a rota between the two of us .. I'm turning out ..beds up .. Make nets..feeds..water..friend is bringing in and finishing .. Boxing Day she is doing the am shift and I'm afternoon ..works for us ..and both of us are happy as pigs in poop ;)
as having a horse can be tricky around having a family sometimes. I'm lucky that my husband and son understand how much time and care the horse needs . But not everyone is in that boat ..
Is this lady working at Christmas? Do u know anything about this lady's home life ?
What I'm saying is YOU are 110% right !! If u don't want to do her horse then that's the end if it !! But I'm asking had this had been handled differently would it have had a different ending ?
How many of us have asked a friend to help out ? I have had horses 25 years and I know I have ..and have I done anyone else's 1000's of times .. I don't mind doing others .. As then I get the whole place myself ! Perfect !! And also it's nice the have the odd evening off .. But I would never expect it !! ..sorry for the essay :/
Don't know if it helps at all :s :)
Bottom line u r in the right
I just hope this crazy lady isn't mean to ur horsey :( is urs ok out alone ? As I wouldn't be surprised if she got hers and other ladies in and left ur alone ..or god forbid ur had an injury and she doesn't ring u ..or something along them lines :( people scorn can be very cruel :/ ( not trying to make u panic but just beware )
 
Aw what a horrible situation to be in! We are on a little yard on a working farm. There are 3 adults, myself and 2 others, but 4 furbabies.... I have 2 ponies. We are full DIY and all have young families.
We all attend first thing in the morning to turn out and my kids ride after school so we are there in the PM, and for most part other 2 are there at some point in the evening.
If something happens, kids are ill or shift change for their work we know we can call upon each other to help out but it's not just expected and their are certainly no rotas in place! We all get on really well and it just works! I don't think my wee girl would allow me to sip Xmas day!! Ponies need presents too you know!
 
Many thanks for all the replies, much appreciated !

In fact for the first month, I WAS doing a lot to help the others out, and it got to the stage where hubs and I were bringing in every day or other day. I got so sick of it, as you know, give an inch.... Then my back went, and at this stage, I politely said I could not do it any more. That's when it all kicked off.

Anyway, a year or so ago, this would have knocked me right back, but i am pleased with how I'm coping tbh - it is a good test for me :)

ps, i love Christmas at the yard - dunking apples and guinness for the pony:D
 
Well done and hang in there. I don't see why the other 2 can't sort out their own rota, they are obviously friends?
Nowt so queer as horsey folk!
 
Don't give it a second thought! You're very right, they should be doing their own horses or sort it out between their 2 selves if they want to be part-time owners! Boils my blood! You wouldn't have a kids and see it every other day.
Also.... people who have horses and basically turn up, shove them out, half muck out and drag them in again at night... rugs never off and given the most basic of care but on the other hand "they see them everyday"

Ohh don't get me started! So glad we've got nice people at the mo! We've had some crackers in the past!!
 
Sounds like a nightmare especially if they are both taking the proverbial. If you're planning on being there long term with them, you could as a goodwill gesture get the number of a couple of local freelance horsey people so that they have a third person to call on into their 'rota'
Explain you don't have the time to be involved in a rota so you have helpfully found someone who can be if the two of them really need it.
They will be shocked at the cost but unless you can avoid them all the time it might at least calm them a little.
 
If they want a rota the other two can sort it between themselves surely, and leave you to sort your horses as you want. It really shouldn't be a problem, however, no excuse for their ranting and aggressive behaviour, stick to your guns OP - you have done nothing wrong and good to hear you are sticking u for yourself too ..and hubby too!!
 
Mithras said:
I honestly find it easier to move yards when there's a character like this, no matter how good the yard.

There is one, thankfully only one, at my yard, and it wouldn't matter how much you reasoned with her, she just has a tantrum or brings up one of her list of many excuses as to why she can't look after her own horses or do her fair share.

Shes the one that pays for one stable but uses two, and brings her horses in at nights randomly when it suits her. I came back from hunting to a total screaming fit from her because i had used the spare stable, because i pay for two but can only use one indoor stable otherwise, because i had not mucked out before i left. Apparently i should have got up earlier and also guessed she wanted to use it at 3pm. This is after a year of turning her horses out for her many times with no thanks, taking her horse to the vet and back and generally being considerate. The next morning she rocked up at 11am to turn her horses out...

We do have a rota for turning out, and i dont mind it, even though mine are not in at nights yet. But if course what this character does is leave her horses out when its my turn, to make a point (because i stood up to her when she ranted at be) so i don't own horses on her day, because i dont feel confident in her, and the whole thing breaks down. She has also let all the horses out of the field a few times, which is a worry...

As i say, i generally find people like this best avoided, so although i love my yard, im considering moving.
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I hope you don't have to move yards if you're generally happy where you are. People like that are a pain in the fundament
 
skint1 said:
I hope you don't have to move yards if you're generally happy where you are. People like that are a pain in the fundament
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I hope not too. The yard is lovely, if basic. But the day of her meltdown, she also brought her own horses in, leaving mine out in the field on his own. He is a new horse, and was very distressed. And of course I was away hunting on my other horse, so couldn't do anything about it until I got back.

Its just so difficult to predict what she is going to do with her horses. I can't use the field shelter in the field, which I pay for, if her horses don't come in, so I have to bring mine in instead. And her own two are very bargey and bad mannered, yet she constantly complained about another horse of mine so much that I loaned him out to get him off the yard. The letting out of horses thing and not securing gates properly is a real worry, but because, like the OP, I was last in, despite being here over a year now, I can't say too much.

I really cannot abide what I term "ranters" - people who have screaming, hysterical hissy fits for no particularly good reason other than they are not getting their own way. Once someone behaves like that, I lose all respect for them.

Sorry for hi-jacking your thread OP! Its really bad luck ending up with two ranters on a yard!
 
The more I read about other people's livery yards, the more determined I am never to leave mine!

I hope you get it sorted SM. Your YO sounds lovely and maybe seeing you standing up for yourself will help her do the same.
 
I wonder if these ranting liveries are the grown up versions of the toddlers that you see in the supermarket throwing a major tantrum because they want some sweets or what not, with a parent cooing 'no dear' before they give in and give the little brat what it wants?
 
Tiddlypom said:
I wonder if these ranting liveries are the grown up versions of the toddlers that you see in the supermarket throwing a major tantrum because they want some sweets or what not, with a parent cooing 'no dear' before they give in and give the little brat what it wants?
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I think you are entirely right that's exactly what they are.
 
Apparently working with horses or indeed any animal is helpful for interaction with other people. Sadly it doesn't work for everyone, but you usually find that those also can't interact with their animals either.
 
Muppets - I think is a good word to describe these people & Cheeky Muppetts at that !!!

It is easy for all to say do this & that on an internet forum but harder to say it face to face I hope that things get better for you soon - DO NOT let these people get you down, you are better than them !!!!
 
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