"free assisted" DIY saga continues - put it in writing now !!!!!

Shysmum said:
It been a very tough day. I'm exhausted.

rolled up this morning, both other liveries there, fine. ignored me, fine. Put my radio on and had a dance with Shy, then went out for a lovely ride. Does anyone else mutter to themselves when riding to try and get things straight in their head ? Poor Shy is used to me and my muttering !

Took the YO for an appointment (yes it may cause jealousy, but so what - she is a good friend. ).

Got back, and the livery I left the note for suddenly started up. "I got your note..." Challenging what I had written, that she was EXTREMELY upset, cue banging around and tears. And you know what, I stood up for myself !! " I AM NOW STAYING ON MY OWN !!!" and walked away.:D Cue slam, crash, bang (and this is not the aggressive one).

I am exhausted, and am afraid another valium has been taken. I WILL ride this out, I am not going to be bullied. But because of my MH problems, it's not going to be an easy ride. But I will not be bullied out of a yard that I love.

I cannot tell you how much the support from you guys on here means to me. *tears*. Thank you so very much ! xx
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Sounds like she's just extremely upset that she hasn't got her own way! Fingers crossed that both of the other liveries will start to quieten down now that they've had their big outbursts and that they just sort out their own rota between themselves, leaving you well out of it.

Good on you for sticking to your guns over this and I'm glad you had such a lovely time with Shy this morning :)
 
I think the fallout will keep falling for a while, i'll just have to roll with it. This is a huge lesson in coping with people for me, it may be extreme, I may have dealt with worse in the RSPCA, but I wasn't this fragile then. It is boosting my confidence !

Thanks again guys x
 
Not the same as your situation at all, but I keep myself to myself on my yard too. Owner went on holiday and left a livery in charge of her 4 horses. 3 live out and 1 in. Livery was getting stressed and snapping at everyone so I asked if she was OK and was told she was stressed with too many horses to do. I kindly offered to sort out the stabled one. So I mucked out for a week with my head torch on and it kept the peace at the yard. I then find out that the other livery was being paid to do the horses! I will never be helping anyone else ever again!
 
We're all rooting for you SM!

Seriously, if anyone blows up at me like theses ladies are doing to you, it does help me to visualise them as the spoilt toddlers that they are in grown up guise. Makes it seem much less personal and you can see how ridiculously that they are behaving. Interestingly, it's only horsey women that I have had to put this into practice with....
 
Would it help to visualise them in nappies when they are having a paddy?
I used to have to deal with a very difficult senior manager & I found visualising him as a bargey shetland helped (provided I could stop myself giggling)
 
Shysmum said:
And you know what, I stood up for myself !! " I AM NOW STAYING ON MY OWN !!!" and walked away.:D Cue slam, crash, bang (and this is not the aggressive one).
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Well done you. I too couldn't believe how people turned nasty when they were losing their free horse care and could no longer get their own way. Stay strong and keep going.
 
Shysmum Well done you. Stick with it don’t let the ******* get you down rise above in and go in singing your head off in the morning. Think of the silly people running about with no clothes on! Should make you smile. Good luck stay strong
 
Good for you, if they keep having paddy's around you just walk away or put in earphones and tell them when they can communicate and behave like an adult youre happy to talk, but not about sharing care, that topic is done and not open for duscussion
 
PollyP99 said:
Not sure I follow, if its on DIY it's not handled by others, no one looked at my insurance when on diy
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Well they should have done no one should own a horse without third party cover and every yard should require it .
When horses are on DIY there is always the possiblity of it being in contact with people in its stable in a shared field tied up on the yard .
Ops horse will be covered to be handled by other people .

SM well done , just be calm stand your ground and they will run out of energy .
Keep your chin up you are winning .
 
Pop into your local police station or citizen's advice bureau and enquire about whether a non molestation order would be viable in this case, OP. You and your husband felt threatened, and have since been further harassed to the point of your requiring valium. I suspect you may have the grounds for legal action, and honestly I would take it.
 
Goldenstar said:
Well they should have done no one should own a horse without third party cover and every yard should require it .
When horses are on DIY there is always the possiblity of it being in contact with people in its stable in a shared field tied up on the yard .
Ops horse will be covered to be handled by other people .

SM well done , just be calm stand your ground and they will run out of energy .
Keep your chin up you are winning .
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Ah ok well I do have liability insurance but no one asked to see it - tbh not sure if it would cover injury to someone handling my horse in my absence - doesn't that make them sudo first party - as in not an uninvolved third party as one would be for say damage to cars or property?

Hmm not sure and not n topic, you go Shysmum!
 
PollyP99 said:
Ah ok well I do have liability insurance but no one asked to see it - tbh not sure if it would cover injury to someone handling my horse in my absence - doesn't that make them sudo first party - as in not an uninvolved third party as one would be for say damage to cars or property?

Hmm not sure and not n topic, you go Shysmum!
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No it would not any one bringing your horse in say in shared enviroment would be covered that's not saying the insurance would pay but they would handle it on your behalf if something nasty happened and someone was injured they might it was not your fault but they would cover you and fight it on your behalf.
 
Please please don't feel down, chin up and carry on. Think of your lovey horse... your great husband.... and all the things you like about the yard. If will change just carry on as you are and hopefully the (oddball) will decide to leave. Meanwhile chin up smile - and whistle as you work - it will keep your spirits up and hopefully shut 'those who cannot be named' up.
Cup of tea or something stronger...... and have a good night
 
Something stronger going down nicely, lol. I have to say, it's the first time I have really stood up for myself on a yard, so i am on the right track.

thanks again !
 
I have my own yard and have met all sorts.... I now have two liveries with 6 horses between them. Nothing as queer as folk... Life is too short, horses are our hobby and we must enjoy it. Took my boy to 'livery' when my husband was ill, never seen him so depressed... My liveries offered to do him for free until my husband was better... Love them all, I help them, they help me... works for all of us... Not greedy less than £100 pcm for 15 x 15 stable, turnout and secure tack room. Happy to help everyone but expect that to go both ways?
 
Goldenstar said:
Have bath wear warm and unflattering clothes read a nice book.
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Brilliant advice. No better way of dealing with an off day. :-)

I've just read this thread and think you are handling things very well. You will be an inspiration to all those being bullied on their yards. I was once and I understand how draining, standing up for yourself can be. Good for you.
 
Shysmum said:
feeling a bit down tonight, think I am just exhausted. I just can't get my head round it. never mind, normal service resumed tomorrow.
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I'm not surprised you can't get your head round it. It's outrageous! Unless there had been some agreement made BEFORE you moved to the yard, why on earth would anyone assume you'd join in with their "rota"?

It seems to me that on a DIY yard, some make arrangements to help each other (usually based round their work commitments), and some don't. No obligation.

You are entirely in the right. These people are being ridiculous. I hope you get through this and can enjoy what otherwise sounds like a lovely yard. :)
 
Well done OP for not letting them get to you, nasty pieces of work that they are! Don't let them drive you into taking regular vallium though, they are not worth you risking your health :)
 
You go, girl, I'm flipping cheering you here! It's far too easy to cave and do as asked, so I'm thrilled you've been so strong and told them what's what. :smile3:
 
Shysmum said:
feeling a bit down tonight, think I am just exhausted. I just can't get my head round it. never mind, normal service resumed tomorrow.
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The replies suggesting that you imagine them in nappies and such, made me want to suggest that you perhaps could try thinking like a cat...

polls_funny_pictures_cat_talk_to_the_hand_5529_295430_answer_1_xlarge.jpeg


calling-your-pet-cat-ignoring-you.jpg




Maybe they fulfil a purpose that you've not figured out yet...

Funny-dog-and-cat-picture.jpg




But if you don't want to imagine being a cat

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images
 
Excellent, thank you !!! All of these posts are helping me stay positive, and I am determined not to let it get to me. Bipolar is very hard at the best of times, but the support I am getting from you guys is making a HUGE difference. I just do not understand how I got into this mess - but then i don't think anyone reading this story would understand !

Thank you so much. xx
 
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