Ambers Echo
Still wittering on
I was not up for this at all! It was WAY too hot and after a stressful week at work and poor sleep because of the heat, all I wanted to do yesterday was lie under a tree and eat ice-cream.... But obviously pulling out on such flimsy grounds was not an option so off we went. We were meant to be travelling up on Thursday so I could do my usual extended course walk as I find navigating so hard. But I felt it was too hot to travel them so we had to go early Friday morning instead. The 90 was first followed by the 80 for Katie.
I had a dressage lesson on Thursday and messed up an unfamiliar test twice which did not bode well. And when we arrived to walk the XC we discovered it was really twisty and counter intuitive. Lots of disappearing into small gaps into woods off the main tracks. The humidity was close to 100% and I felt horribly sticky. And finally we had left all our drinks at home so we were hot, uncomfortable and very, very thirsty.
By this time I got on for dressage, I was in a total downward spiral mentally. Not adequately prepared, not motivated and generally wondering why I do a sport that is so time consuming, stressful and basically faffy. Oh dear. I was not setting a great example of positive mental attitude for Katie!
Amber was fine in the dressage but I just assumed it would be another awful score anyway so was unable to feel happy about it.
Then she was a nightmare in the SJ warm-up, just accelerating towards the fences. It's a vicious cycle - if I am mentally low then I am more nervous as my confidence comes from positivity. So I was too scared to jump anything apart from a x-pole in the warm up and I found myself near tears and considering withdrawing. Stupid, ridiculous stuff was running through my mind like maybe the universe was telling me I was going to have an accident etc. Fortunately I managed to take myself off to a shady spot to give myself an almighty kick up the backside. I realised I had a negative loop in my head on auto-play and I needed to change the tape. So - deep breath - focus on the RIDING. Ignore the doom and gloom voices and just think about how to correct things that had gone wrong at Stafford. Which was basically to ride forwards and let her travel and focus on looking ahead, keeping my body back and making sure that I kept my leg on even when re-balancing or slowing her so she kept engaged behind. And then the round in the end was fine! She had a pole at 3 when I buried her (again) but instead of compounding the error and riding more tentatively to try and avoid mistakes, I corrected it and rode ON. And she cleared the rest easily, in the time and in control. Hurrah!!!
And suddenly things felt ok again. I had time to review the XC again and I kept my focus on the reality out in the real world and not the imaginary negative world of failure, poor conditions, other uncontrollables and accidents in my head. She flew round clear. Woop woop!! Nothing beats demons like an exhilarating blast across country!! They should prescribe it on the NHS. Had a very Amberish couple of moments: One when we had to go into some woods and turn sharp left up a hill, But there was a novice fence in her eye line ahead in the woods, which she locked onto. NOOOOOOO AMBER!! And again when there was a trickle of a stream we had to cross which I assumed she would run through but in fact jumped massive over. But we survived. Had some time pens but that is fine. I know the speed is there when I want it but I am focusing on control at the moment. So actually a very pleasing outing in the end. AND a respectable if not spectacular dressage score after all!
Then it was baby-pony's turn. A generally nice dressage messed up by an error of course in the first canter and an unplanned exit in the 2nd! But showing lots of potential. Then a lovely clear SJ in the time. And a confident XC course with 1 green stop at a spooky green cartridge jump right before the water. She just needed to have a look at what she was jumping into. It was a championship event so full up and fully dressed. It was very intimidating. So we are both thrilled with her. She is amazing for a 5 year old and Katie is doing a great job educating her. Very proud of them both.
As for me, the take away lesson: I need to get out of my head and focus on what is actually happening and then everything feels grand.
I had a dressage lesson on Thursday and messed up an unfamiliar test twice which did not bode well. And when we arrived to walk the XC we discovered it was really twisty and counter intuitive. Lots of disappearing into small gaps into woods off the main tracks. The humidity was close to 100% and I felt horribly sticky. And finally we had left all our drinks at home so we were hot, uncomfortable and very, very thirsty.
By this time I got on for dressage, I was in a total downward spiral mentally. Not adequately prepared, not motivated and generally wondering why I do a sport that is so time consuming, stressful and basically faffy. Oh dear. I was not setting a great example of positive mental attitude for Katie!
Amber was fine in the dressage but I just assumed it would be another awful score anyway so was unable to feel happy about it.
Then she was a nightmare in the SJ warm-up, just accelerating towards the fences. It's a vicious cycle - if I am mentally low then I am more nervous as my confidence comes from positivity. So I was too scared to jump anything apart from a x-pole in the warm up and I found myself near tears and considering withdrawing. Stupid, ridiculous stuff was running through my mind like maybe the universe was telling me I was going to have an accident etc. Fortunately I managed to take myself off to a shady spot to give myself an almighty kick up the backside. I realised I had a negative loop in my head on auto-play and I needed to change the tape. So - deep breath - focus on the RIDING. Ignore the doom and gloom voices and just think about how to correct things that had gone wrong at Stafford. Which was basically to ride forwards and let her travel and focus on looking ahead, keeping my body back and making sure that I kept my leg on even when re-balancing or slowing her so she kept engaged behind. And then the round in the end was fine! She had a pole at 3 when I buried her (again) but instead of compounding the error and riding more tentatively to try and avoid mistakes, I corrected it and rode ON. And she cleared the rest easily, in the time and in control. Hurrah!!!
And suddenly things felt ok again. I had time to review the XC again and I kept my focus on the reality out in the real world and not the imaginary negative world of failure, poor conditions, other uncontrollables and accidents in my head. She flew round clear. Woop woop!! Nothing beats demons like an exhilarating blast across country!! They should prescribe it on the NHS. Had a very Amberish couple of moments: One when we had to go into some woods and turn sharp left up a hill, But there was a novice fence in her eye line ahead in the woods, which she locked onto. NOOOOOOO AMBER!! And again when there was a trickle of a stream we had to cross which I assumed she would run through but in fact jumped massive over. But we survived. Had some time pens but that is fine. I know the speed is there when I want it but I am focusing on control at the moment. So actually a very pleasing outing in the end. AND a respectable if not spectacular dressage score after all!
Then it was baby-pony's turn. A generally nice dressage messed up by an error of course in the first canter and an unplanned exit in the 2nd! But showing lots of potential. Then a lovely clear SJ in the time. And a confident XC course with 1 green stop at a spooky green cartridge jump right before the water. She just needed to have a look at what she was jumping into. It was a championship event so full up and fully dressed. It was very intimidating. So we are both thrilled with her. She is amazing for a 5 year old and Katie is doing a great job educating her. Very proud of them both.
As for me, the take away lesson: I need to get out of my head and focus on what is actually happening and then everything feels grand.
Well done both - esp for pulling yourself out of the slough of despond. It's damn sticky down there, I know!
