Friction with another livery client

[Rowreach]

I think it's all academic. I cannot see any logical reason for changing the existing arrangement. Makes no sense at all, causes more problems, and as I have said previously, I think you need to stop trying to please all the people and just say no.

 

[TheRedMare]

the trouble is that mesh/bars all bring their own problems (we have a mesh talk window, it's nothing but trouble and the mare rakes her teeth up it!)

Good point too. Bars would have to ensure no hooves could get caught as mine rolls.

 

[cobgoblin]

She's hasn't rented a second stable - confirmed that this week.

I admit I do feel forced out but I feel so petty saying that. I just want to enjoy my horse without this and let her continue to settle in.

Have you asked her why she is moving stables? It would be interesting to hear her answer.... It's such an illogical thing to do if she is worried about her pony and your mare being in reach of each other... So either there is no problem with your mare or she's just trying to be awkward and promote a worse situation by effectively deliberately putting her pony in harms way, perhaps with a hope that you will be kicked off the yard?
The only way to sort this is to get the other livery and the yard manager together and ask some awkward questions. Being nice and accommodating her every whim will just encourage her.

 

[MissTyc]

It sounds like part of the problem is that the middle stable is being thought of as a stable. Remove the door and it's just a walkthrough where one can store stuff ...

 

[Rowreach]

It sounds like part of the problem is that the middle stable is being thought of as a stable. Remove the door and it's just a walkthrough where one can store stuff ...

Et voila!! The solution

 

[Nasicus]

Et voila!! The solution

Exactly what I was thinking, MissTyc and Rowreach, it's not a stable, it's a walkway with a door!

 

[TheRedMare]

That is admittedly how it is currently treated

 

[LaurenBay]

So let me get this straight.

Other owner does't want your mare to touch her gelding, so she is moving a stable closer to you and you will have to lead your mare through his stable to get to yours? she sounds like an idiot. If she wants to move that badly then let her pay for the wall divide. I don't see why you should be out of pocket.

Speak with the YM and say you have no problems with other owner moving her Horse. But she will be responsible for the divide if she wishes for one. Speak to the other owner and advise that you have spoken with YM and would be happy for her to move stable but she isn't to touch your things and you will not be enclosing your mare or amending your stable.

 

[DD]

what does the owner of the property say about all this. sounds to me that he needs to get involved and if necessary serve notice on the awkward person with the gelding. what a nightmare .

 

[meleeka]

It sounds like part of the problem is that the middle stable is being thought of as a stable. Remove the door and it's just a walkthrough where one can store stuff ...

Agree.!f you have to lead a horse through it,
It’s a walkway with a door, not stable.

 

[Keith_Beef]

Agree.!f you have to lead a horse through it,
It’s a walkway with a door, not stable.

And if you have to cross it to lead your mare in or out of her stable, then you should be able to do that safely. Another horse should not be stabled in there, and it should not be cluttered if used for short-term storage.

http://www.cieh.org/health_and_safety_in_horse_riding_establishments_and_livery_yards.html especially "Stables" on page 20.

 

[MiniScam]

You've mentioned that you get there early to turn out your mare in the mornings, and get there later to bring her in last - how will she feel when this involves leading your mare through the gelding's stable, risking kicks, bites, etc? (To be honest, I wouldn't lead my horse through any other horse's stable even if they were best friends as I think you are asking for trouble in such a confined space. Not only for the horses kicking each other, but for yourself being barged, trampled, caught in the middle of 'play', etc).

It's a HUGE (and very avoidable) risk. I'm not sure your YM would be happy to accept that responsibility if she'd thought it through... It's her job to provide a safe environment for the liveries (human and equine).

If I were the YM, I'd run a mile and tell the gelding's owner to get back in her box (pun intended). It sounds incredibly dangerous and not something I'd want to feel responsible for.

For what it's worth, I'd sit down with both the YM and the difficult b***h and explain your view, ask what you can do to help ease her concerns, but state categorically that you will not put yourself or your mare at any risk by leading her through another horse's stable. If you ask her what you can do to help her, she may be caught off guard. Just make sure you hold firm on the things you will not compromise on - safety (for everyone! her pony too!) being paramount.

 

[DD]

seems obvious to me the other livery wants to get rid of you.

 

[9tails]

I've never heard something so ridiculous. As MiniScam states above, you're there earlier than her and usually there later in the evening. So you would need to get the gelding out of his stable and tie him somewhere, to lead your horse through his stable, which no doubt will have a water bucket placed directly outside your stable door, then get the gelding back into his stable. Then reverse this in the evening, so your mare is tied somewhere while you remove and tie up the gelding, to lead your horse through his stable and into her stable and then replace the gelding. Utter madness.

 

[whiteflower]

Has she actually got permission to move her gelding into the middle 'stable' from the ym and have you confirmed this with the ym ? I can't believed any ym in their right mind would agree to a horse being led through a space the size of a stable whilst another animal is loose in there. It's an accident waiting to happen, if they spook or go for each other neither has anywhere to go and you are trapped in the middle ! If that is what they are proposing I would be sorting the situation pronto before someone or a horse gets hurt.

 

[Rowreach]

I've never heard something so ridiculous.

The more I think about it, the less believable the whole thing sounds ...

 

[Ambers Echo]

The more I think about it, the less believable the whole thing sounds ...

I don't know - some people really are totally unreasonable! But that said this is either an elaborate wind up (8 pages of replies so a successful one) or the OP needs to man up and stop being such a push-over! I avoid confrontation at all costs but even I'd never tolerate this level of nonsense.

 

[TheRedMare]

Had a chat with my partner tonight and we're going to ask the question of why she is moving (wanting to move) stables to see if there's any reason. I had a look today and I can't see any repairs that need doing.

However...after reading your replies I am wanting to dig my heels in and say that the current arrangement is the safest and most sensible one for humans and horses, considering that they would like to ensure the horses are kept apart.

Thank you, this really gave me some perspective from the "man up" and "what if / why" sides of the coin and made me think rather than stress - thank you!

 

[Chianti]

I think lots of people involved with horses are weird and become involved with them because they can't deal with people. I was on a private yard where I was the only livery. The woman from the village who came am and pm to do the horses for some reason took a real dislike to me and my horse. I don't think she ever grasped that my livery paid her wages. We were on part livery and I did an awful lot of the basic care but she would leave my horse out for me to bring in and do when I arrived when everything else was in. It was pouring down one day and I arrived as she was bringing mine and one of the owner's horses in. She ignored me and looked at my horse and very sarcastically said, 'Here's mummy come at last'. My horse had to have her eye sewn up at one point as she had an eye ulcer that wouldn't heal and she never once asked how she was. She was also as nice as pie if the yard owner was around. It really spoilt the yard for me and in the end was one of the reasons I left as I found the atmosphere so difficult.

 

[Keith_Beef]

I would like to refer my right honourable friend to the information in post 71, and advise that she bring the matter of Elf and Safety, innit, to the YM's attention.

 

[WandaMare]

I think lots of people involved with horses are weird and become involved with them because they can't deal with people. I was on a private yard where I was the only livery. The woman from the village who came am and pm to do the horses for some reason took a real dislike to me and my horse. I don't think she ever grasped that my livery paid her wages. We were on part livery and I did an awful lot of the basic care but she would leave my horse out for me to bring in and do when I arrived when everything else was in. It was pouring down one day and I arrived as she was bringing mine and one of the owner's horses in. She ignored me and looked at my horse and very sarcastically said, 'Here's mummy come at last'. My horse had to have her eye sewn up at one point as she had an eye ulcer that wouldn't heal and she never once asked how she was. She was also as nice as pie if the yard owner was around. It really spoilt the yard for me and in the end was one of the reasons I left as I found the atmosphere so difficult.

Sounds terrible, what a nightmare. I went through a stage thinking it was horse people that were difficult / weird but now I have concluded there are difficult people everywhere, at work, when you share a house, just whenever people are together you seem to get one or two who start causing problems. Its often controlling behaviour or manipulative, but usually comes down to being selfish in some way. I really wouldn't like having the stress of the OP's situation around my horsey life, that is where I go to relax!

 

[Berpisc]

Kieth beef, I think the yard owner should be taking this on board too as the responsibility ultimately rests with them. Good luck Op and politely stick to your guns.

 

[Trules]

If you are affected by this kind of thing and have no alternative to shared DIY livery - give up! It will be the same where ever you go!

I have been largely immune from such problems because 1/ I'm a bloke and 2/ I was done and dusted before anyone else was awake.

Most tackrooms are hotbeds of seething disgruntlement - you don't have to do anything to engender disapproval - breathing is quite sufficient and much of it down to the green eye of jealousy. Kit disappears, feed bins reduce, etc., I've even known the coffee sugar to be sabotaged and poo in the kettle.

Get your own place or do as many women I've known did - find a bloke who'll buy you one.

Lol 😂

 

[paddy555]

haven't read every single reply so sorry if it has been covered but can you not approach the landowner and formally, with a contract, rent the middle stable?

 

[Doublethyme]

Do you know What? Just tell her to do one. Also tell her in no uncertain terms not to touch your stuff or your horse.

If the set up doesn't suit either of you then you're both at the wrong livery yard.

Yep I agree. I'd be telling YM (And YO for good measure) that my mare was not going to be boarded up and shut in and if the woman wants to move her gelding, he'll have to put up with the mare.

Ridiculous situation to even consider shutting the mare away. The other livery is flexing her muscles and needs a metaphorical kick!!

 

[PapaverFollis]

Blimey, it's just a mare not an actual Dragon.

I would arrange to rent the 3rd stable, so the one on the other side of her gelding once she's moved him. And fill it with another MARE. *dramatic music*

For goodness sakes. The worst offending over the stable door attackers I've ever encountered at yards have been geldings, including one if my own!

 

[ozpoz]

Well done you for your good temper. I'm afraid I would not have been as reasonable when considering the changes this power crazy other livery imagines you'll put up with.

If you don't feel comfortable being directly confrontational then being "puzzled" is another option - "I really don't understand how this is going to work, re safety etc and you are asking me to put my horse at risk? Why would I do that? "

 

[claret09]

you are being bullied. it is absolute rubbish. you are just trying to do the right thing and I am sure your mare is absolutely no problem what so ever. you have my every sympathy. good luck

 

[Pearlsasinger]

The proposal by the other livery just doesn't make sense and tbh, OP, I don't understand why you are even considering allowing it to happen. How on earth could it be sensible to have to take your mare through the gelding's stable to get in/out?
We had 4 mares in stables which you have to go through to get to 2 of them, all the mares were ours, kept at home. Only on very rare occasions, did we lead one through an occupied stable and only with selected horses, who had lived together a very long time. I certainly wouldn't do it with mare/gelding or with someone else's horse, it's a ridiculous suggestion.

I would speak to LO about this and explain the difficulties, lack of safety etc.

 

[stormox]

It is one of the most ridiculous suggestions ever- wants to move her horse into a stable that another horse will walk through twice a day, and where her horse will have a mare able to nuzzle him, which she doesn't want? Why would she even consider wanting to do this??