Friend's dog home alone - wwyd

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WandaMare

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Looking for some HHO wisdom on the best way forward with a sticky situation with a friends dog.

A couple of years ago a friend mentioned they couldn't find a dog walker to let their dog out at lunch time and I put them in touch with another friend of mine, who they arranged to visit 4 days a week. This lady wasn't able to do the other day, so not having a dog of my own at the moment, and missing being around dogs terribly, I offered to do the other day.

This has all gone really well until just before Xmas, I bumped into my dog walker friend who told me she had stopped walking the dog about 8 months ago, the dogs owners hadn't mentioned this me which I thought was a bit odd. I then found out that she hasn't been replaced which means the dog stays home alone now between 8 and 6, 4 days a week. Not feeling great about this, I mentioned it to the dogs owner, who assured me that the dog is fine and were slightly miffed that I had said something. He gets a long walk before and after work every day, he goes out with them to the pub in the evenings and he also goes on holiday with them when they have time of work. So he does have a really nice life with them, but is it ok to leave a dog for that many hours a day? I didn't think with all these dog walkers available that people did that anymore.

Anyway, I have carried on doing my one day a week, but each time I go I feel sad for the dog. He gets so excited about me going round and getting a lunchtime walk and then gets really sad and subdued when I leave him. He is also usually bursting for the toilet. It makes me feel I should do some of the other days but I can't due to work commitments.

So please tell me honestly, am I being too soft which I know I am inclined to be, the dog is fine, or is this just not right? They do sometimes work at home or have the odd day off but it is very infrequent. My OH thinks I should stop going if its upsetting me but then he would be on his own for another day a week. I'm reluctant to raise it with them again because they weren't open to a discussion last time I said something, any advice would be much appreciated.
 
I would carry on as you are and maybe do the odd other day when you can. Not much else you can do really and any days are better than non. I’m sure the dog will be fine, it’s not ideal but a lot of dogs lives aren’t .
 
I work a couple of days a week; and put my two dogs in a disused stable, where they have dry food in two bowls (and water), there's straw put down which they can curl up in if they want to, and so they can poo if they need, and I've put a dog-bed for each of them in each corner. They've plenty of room to move around, have each other for company, and are warm and cosy in winter and out of the heat in the summer. On the days I've been away from 8.15 in the morning till 5.15pm at night when I return, I've come back to two chilled and relaxed dogs.

I do feel it isn't really fair for a dog to be shut up from 8 until 6 inside a house, with nowhere they can go to have a wee or poo, and on their own as well. The owner really mustn't be surprised if she comes back to the place being wrecked and poo everywhere! I wouldn't feel happy about leaving a dog in those circumstances TBH.

Why on earth doesn't she get someone in to walk them on the days when you can't? i.e. a professional. Yes it will cost her, but surely that is the solution?? But perhaps your "friend" is too damn tight to do what other caring and compassionate owners do, and pay for someone to walk the dog if they can't.

What she's doing isn't fair IMO; and you are in a difficult position. Friend sounds very touchy about it, which isn't helping.
 
It's up to you whether you carry on visiting or not but as for addressing it with your friend, I personally would leave well alone. Lots of dogs, horses, kids etc are not treated that well. Unless there is a welfare/cruelty/safe-guarding issue it it just not your responsibility and no good can come of making an issue of it. Imho.
 
And lots of dogs are quite happy to sleep the day away in peace. When I was working full time I always had more than one dog so they could entertain each other, and made my garden dog proof with shelter so they could live out of doors in the better weather. It's really only a problem if the dogs is barking a lot, then her neighbours will probably have something to say about it anyway.
 
or maybe your friend can't afford right now for reasons she's not wanting to discuss. its not ideal but I have done it myself as do many people. I expect my adult dogs to be able to cope with the odd day alone in case of emergency (I've not met a dog walker in the area that I'd leave a gerbil with tbh) without getting upset about it. As long as the dog isn't a pup or elderly then try and enjoy your dog fix if you can and leave it at that.
 
I have to leave mine (currently) for 3 days a week, 8-4. The other 2 days I work from home. It's not ideal. Mine are walked before work and after; it's the first thing we do when I get home. I have always said that if they mess in the house that's not their fault at all. So far all have been fine to 'hold it' and I watch on dog cam during the day (he just sleeps for the most part!). It does worry me though, so I have just applied for a new job where I'd be working from home 4 days a week+, not least as we will shortly be getting a puppy. (I will not be leaving the puppy all day, OH and I are scheduling shifts and holidays to cover as well as having a friend/family pop in to supervise).

I don't think you can do very much. Your friend is sensitive about it because they know it's not great. Perhaps money is a problem - it'd be 50 quid a week for a walker to let mine out mon-fri for an hour and I'm not gonna lie - that's the same cost as my horse and I can't afford it (nor can most people). If you have time to spare to do extra days, or could suggest a 'let out' service which is cheap (10 mins in the garden rather than a walk) it might be worth suggesting that. Otherwise I'd say try not to worry - there are far worse things that could happen.
 
Thanks guys, your views are very helpful.
Its a relief that you not saying its too awful anyway.

Its strange because when I thought he had a regular dog walker, I felt as though if I ever needed to drop out I could, whereas now I would feel quite bad about it.
MJR2BT - I agree, I thinks its most likely a money thing which is frustrating when they both have good jobs. The dog walker said they pulled out not long after she put her rate up, she had been going there for over a year and her rates are very reasonable. Your set up for your dogs sounds ideal, even for a dog on their own its comfortable and they can go to the loo when they need to.
I think he probably does sleep most of the day but he's a big bouncy staffie so he does have a lot of energy. He explodes when I arrive :) He wouldn't bark, he's so well behaved and a lovely, obedient dog that loves people. I think that's what makes it difficult to think of him spending so much of his life on his own. I am relieved to hear its fairly normal though, I had been getting worried about him.
 
I don't think you can do very much. Your friend is sensitive about it because they know it's not great. Perhaps money is a problem - it'd be 50 quid a week for a walker to let mine out mon-fri for an hour and I'm not gonna lie - that's the same cost as my horse and I can't afford it (nor can most people). If you have time to spare to do extra days said:
Thanks for this, I hadn't heard of a 'let out' service. I will try and find an opportunity to suggest it though.
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I have a ‘let out’ service for mine which is £5 a day - I fully admit that I didn’t have them walked because initially I wouldn’t trust anyone to do that! I’ve used my ‘let out’ lady for about 5 years now & would trust her to walk them, but as they are greyhounds and lurchers they really aren’t bothered as they like to sleep all day 😄
 
Mine have a dog walker, but if she's on holiday they have to suck it up. They have good lives and spend most of the day sleeping. I have CCTV at home, and I can see they only start to wake up about 30 min before we get home, and wait for that time only.
 
Of course it isn’t ideal. But the rest of their life sounds great. Plus although it seems different in the day, dogs can easily hold their wee all night, 10 hours is a bit long but not unmanageable.

My dogs are not usually left more than 4-5 hours and often not at all as I have young children so not at work. But they act excited and zoom into the garden for a wee if I’ve been just 1 hours or 5!
 
Yes I'm out of touch with dog keeping nowadays and I agree apart from this he does have a good life, and he is definitely much loved. I wasn't sure if not being able to go to the loo for hours on end would do any long term physical damage, for example to his kidneys. But from your replies I don't think this can be the case. Thanks everyone, I will stop worrying about him now.
 
My neighbours left their 18 month dog for 28 hours the other day.

They left the dog at lunch time, come evening he was making a right racket - I messaged my neighbours and they said ‘yes away tonight could you let him out’. By 9am next morning they weren’t home do I walked him. By 4pm they weren’t home so I walked him.

They arrived back at 6pm having had a lovely time away ..... we had words ....
 
pippixox said:
Of course it isn’t ideal. But the rest of their life sounds great. Plus although it seems different in the day, dogs can easily hold their wee all night, 10 hours is a bit long but not unmanageable.

My dogs are not usually left more than 4-5 hours and often not at all as I have young children so not at work. But they act excited and zoom into the garden for a wee if I’ve been just 1 hours or 5!
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I do agree actually, even though I can't abide dogs being left alone for such long periods of time regularly.

But members on here whose dogs are home alone for many hours will tell you that they are fine.

At the end of the day though, the dog is loved and well taken care off.
 
ihatework said:
My neighbours left their 18 month dog for 28 hours the other day.

They left the dog at lunch time, come evening he was making a right racket - I messaged my neighbours and they said ‘yes away tonight could you let him out’. By 9am next morning they weren’t home do I walked him. By 4pm they weren’t home so I walked him.

They arrived back at 6pm having had a lovely time away ..... we had words ....
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My goodness I can imagine you really did 'have words' so would I have done and the expletives would have been every other word from me! :mad:

but having said that back in the day when both my husband and I had to work for a living we use to leave our collies (house dogs) for roughly 9 hours a day. They had a dog flap from their 'bedroom' in the house and access to a very large but 100 per cent secure back garden and it was never an issue with them. However, in this day and age I dont think I would risk doing that as so often I read about dogs, in particular pedigrees being stolen from their owner's property. Imagine coming home and finding your much loved mutts had been stolen while you were at work?
 
ihatework said:
My neighbours left their 18 month dog for 28 hours the other day.

They left the dog at lunch time, come evening he was making a right racket - I messaged my neighbours and they said ‘yes away tonight could you let him out’. By 9am next morning they weren’t home do I walked him. By 4pm they weren’t home so I walked him.

They arrived back at 6pm having had a lovely time away ..... we had words ....
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Horrible! Seriously can’t believe if you had not heard it and messaged them they may not have even asked you!
 
i tend to go by the 4 hour rule and if i am going out i normally ask my neighbour to let them out...one day i went out and knew my neighbour was also out for the day so was confident i would be back in time.... due to a few problems i didnt get home till they had been on their own for just over 6 hours. i felt terrible and was expecting frantic dogs. i opened the door and they had both just got up yawning and neither of them wanted to go out. dont know why i was so worried as they were fine, but i would never make a habit of it..i think we sometimes worry too much...
 
See, this is the big sticking point for rescues. I see the ‘Can be left for up to 4 hours’ mantra all the time. Basically they want someone who works from home or is retired/a stay at home parent, pretty unrealistic. Is it better or worse for a dog to be left in kennels all day (where they have stimulation from seeing other dogs/the staff/having their kennel cleaned/occasional walks) or being left home alone while the family is out at school/work then have plenty of stimulus in the evening? I don’t know.

Our lot are home alone 2 days a month when our working hours coincide. The neighbour comes in and lets them out and watches TV with them cuddled up to her on the sofa.
 
amymay said:
I don’t know either CT, although I do essentially feel that a dog that is basically alone for 17 hours a day, can’t especially be happy.
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i assume you are including overnight? lots of dogs are alone overnight, mine are alone (together)from about 11 pm till 8 am but i assume they dont miss me as they are asleep. i think if a dog is settled in a home they get used to the routine of the household...friends of mine work full days 4 times a week but devote their non working hours to their dogs. they also have a dog sitter who goes in late morning and mid afternoon and stays for an hour each visit. the dogs seem very happy to me..and its a better life than being in rescue kennels IMO..
 
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