Friends that don't agree with owning pets

I went to a uk vegan festival years ago when i transitioned to vegan from yrs of being vegetarian, there were many stalls for vegan dog and cat food. There was even a talk by a vet talking about how to feed dogs and cats vegan diets.

At the time i had 2 meat eating cats who i intended to keep that way, in fact i wanted to switch to raw meat... but i took a sample of this ‘grain based kibble’ home to see if my cats liked it. Afterall they were already eating and had choice of grain/meat dried food too which they liked.

They both gobbled this vegan kibble down....only for the female to projectile vomit it back up a minute later! This was in front of my vegan pal. I said ‘well, never has she reacted like that before to food, what the hell have they put in it?’

Forcing my animals to eat my preference is narcissistic. Feeding dogs and cats vegan food...Its like a meat-eating horse owner feeding their horse the odd burger!
Ill handle, butcher meat, raw, for carnivorous animals and even cook it for meat-eating pals (i cant believe they trust me to know how to to be honest!)...what i prefer to eat i dont feel the need to justify it by forcing others to eat that way, including animals.
 
GSD Woman said:
I don't mind people being vegetarian or vegan as long as they don't force those views on me. I worked with a vegan woman who was cool and explained that she wore leather because she couldn't afford to throw out all of her clothes from before she became vegan. On the other hand I worked with a vegetarian who was a real pain in the rear. She waved PeTA magazines in my face and made snotty comments when I would have some meat at lunch.
Personally, as far as your friends go, do you really need such negativity in your life?
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See I'm vegetarian and have been for 20+ years but that's my choice, I don't push my views on to anyone. Funnily enough we used to cook them meat when they came round. I've no problem with buying meat for other people and my dog definitely eats meat.
I agree with the negativity, life is too short. I genuinely wondered before I posted that people might think I was being too sensitive.
 
PapaverFollis said:
Some people get really, really odd/judgemental/plain nasty when they go vegan. As they are a vegan couple they will be egging each other on and are likely to become insufferable.

I'd ditch them. I'd probably have got up and left/asked them to leave at the first bit of bloody nudging and sideeye bItetween them. Cheeky f88kers. No time for that kind of nonsense quite frankly.
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I think I was just in shock, they've changed so much in what feels like a short time.
 
I understand why people question the keeping of livestock and pet animals.

According to a recent speech by Sir David Attenborough 96% of the mass of mammals on earth are now human beings or their domestic livestock. Leaving little room for wildlife which makes up the remaining 4%.
I think that’s terribly saddening.

That said - I keep dogs and horses they enrich my life, everything we humans do has a consequence. I try to mitigate the effects of my choices in other ways.
I don’t think I would maintain a friendship with people who made me feel judged.
 
Bellaboo18 said:
So we've got some good friends that I've known since school, it's nice because we get on well as a 4 (my husband gets on well with her husband).
Anyway 2 years ago they became vegetarian a bit later vegan. Absolutely fine, live and let live plus I'm vegetarian anyway. The latest news is they don't agree with owning pets... now I still think fine everyone is welcome to their own views but I'm left with this strange feeling.
Basically my whole life revolves around my animals, the horses and my dog. I suppose I feel it's strange having friends that disagree with my whole lifestyle so much. Thoughts?

Probably important to add although I don't feel they 'preach' about their views, they have a passive aggressive way of glancing at each other or nudging each other when something is mentioned that they don't agree with. Unfortunately for them I mention horses alot :/
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Sorry in your shoes I would say, like me like my animals they are a part of my life for now and ever more. i am not changing and if you cannot accept me with them and them with me then I suggest we end this friendship.
 
Cats are oblate carnivores (they have to eat meat), dogs are omnivorous (they can live without meat in their diet). People who force their animals (and children) to eat food which is not nutritious for them are guilty of abuse. Vegans can be very boring and evangelical, I just tell them to shut up and mind their own business.
 
I can kind of understand why staunch vegans would be against the keeping of pets but the domesticated animals we have now are a million miles away genetically from the wild animals they once were. They are ‘designed’ to need us and want to be with us.

When it comes to horses I just think of it as if someone offered me a job where I worked an hour or two a day and in return I got free board, food, medical care etc for life and a happy, long retirement when my working days were over would I take it?

Ab so bluddy lutely!

The issue is with bad owners, not pet owning in general in my opinion!
 
I think it would be the end of the friendship for me, they wouldn’t say things like that knowing you are an animal lover. My in laws are a bit like that- not vegan I may add but think your either a snob for owning a horse or just downright manky for being out in all weathers with rain, mud an animal. I think there’s something missing with them though not to have the love of a pet or anything like that but that’s them, they chose to book 5 holidays a year and constantly buy designer items(fur actually ?) that’s up to them as is having pets up to me. We’re all different.

As you can tell I don’t actually like them- we’re completely opposite!
 
Bellaboo18 said:
See I'm vegetarian and have been for 20+ years but that's my choice, I don't push my views on to anyone. Funnily enough we used to cook them meat when they came round. I've no problem with buying meat for other people and my dog definitely eats meat.
I agree with the negativity, life is too short. I genuinely wondered before I posted that people might think I was being too sensitive.
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No you haven't, definitely time for them to be ex friends, they're intolerant and antisocial forcing their views on you, and barking if they think animals have a lovely life in the wild ?
 
Bellaboo18 said:
So we've got some good friends that I've known since school, it's nice because we get on well as a 4 (my husband gets on well with her husband).
Anyway 2 years ago they became vegetarian a bit later vegan. Absolutely fine, live and let live plus I'm vegetarian anyway. The latest news is they don't agree with owning pets... now I still think fine everyone is welcome to their own views but I'm left with this strange feeling.
Basically my whole life revolves around my animals, the horses and my dog. I suppose I feel it's strange having friends that disagree with my whole lifestyle so much. Thoughts?

Probably important to add although I don't feel they 'preach' about their views, they have a passive aggressive way of glancing at each other or nudging each other when something is mentioned that they don't agree with. Unfortunately for them I mention horses alot :/
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Haha! Someone please write a comedy about this... :D:D:D

ETA: I'm not criticising them at all or you - it's just the way you describe the relationship is really amusing.
 
Someone please tell livestock that free range is preferable. Over the years i have had to evict chickens, sheep, pigs, and a pony from my front room. The dogs think they're hard done by if I turf them off the sofa!

Seriously OP, your friends are asses. Unless you're actually related, spend your time with someone brighter. Personally I couldn't be friends with someone who abuses their dog like that.
 
Sparklyballs said:
I do not know the age group of you or your friends so I am trying not to assume anything here. But it does occur to me that in our late 20s and 30s my OH and I probably slowly moved away from about 75 per cent of our friend group ( a mutual and gradual occurrence between our friend group and ourselves) and moved on to other newer friends that fitted more with our changing lifestyle and beliefs.

I think this is probably pretty much a natural and normal thing when most friends we had in our teens and mid twenties moved on to their chosen path and we moved on to ours, picking up new friends along the way. Childhood friends who are still our good friends now always had and kept the same interest as we did, mostly all animals and horse owner/lovers.

I do think they are being pretty rude though with glances and nudges etc. They would have been shown the door long since in this household lol!
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I think you're right regarding age. We're all in our 30s. I think I've been too surprised at their behaviour to show them the door, I'm not normally someone that's easily walked over.
 
I don’t understand the dog thing... dogs have been with humans for over 30000 years and maybe more than 50000 years according to the latest fossil finds . This means that dogs have evolved to live in symbiosis with us it is therefore exploiting dogs to make them do anything other than live with us. As we are their natural habitat.
 
Pondering this further, I think the vegan thing can be a bit of a distraction. I have a (horsey) friend who is vegan - owns rescue dogs and often takes in hedgehogs and birds from the vet when they just need longer term convalescent treatment before release. All are fed appropriately. So I think the behaviour of your friends says more about them as people rather than their dietary choice. Time to move on as gently as possible - hopefully taking the dog with you!!!
 
I have a vegan friend. She has never tried to influence me. She adores her dogs, they have the best of food, mixture of raw (organic) and good quality kibble plus goat milk and cheese. She uses natural materials including leather.
She eats organic fruit and veg, uses environmentally friendly cleaning products etc but all this is a very expensive lifetstyle choice for her, she has no problem with other people following their lifestyle choices. I respect that, wish everyone could be so non-judgemental.
 
To me, this doesn’t sounds like a vegan issue - it sounds like a bad, judgemental friend issue.

It’s a perfectly simple thing to have friends of different opinions, persuasions, and ethical choices, if you all agree to be respectful, to know and to respect each other’s boundaries, and to love each other.

It would be a shame to discard such a long and previously treasured friendship because of a communication problem. But again, it must be a 2-way street, and I’d you no longer wish to be friends then that’s fine too.
 
fiwen30 said:
To me, this doesn’t sounds like a vegan issue - it sounds like a bad, judgemental friend issue.

It’s a perfectly simple thing to have friends of different opinions, persuasions, and ethical choices, if you all agree to be respectful, to know and to respect each other’s boundaries, and to love each other.

It would be a shame to discard such a long and previously treasured friendship because of a communication problem. But again, it must be a 2-way street, and I’d you no longer wish to be friends then that’s fine too.
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yes I agree with this. If you want to maintain the friendship I think I'd get it out in the open one day, and acknowledge that you have some differences but the friendship is important so try to agree to disagree on that subject and then move on.

If that's not possible then I guess it's the end of that.

My Dad thinks keeping and riding horses is cruel... we just don't talk about it ;)
 
I've always kept pets and have had horses in my life. I've recently been reading about vegansim and intensive farming and I have to say it has been a bit of an eye opener and has made me question some of my beliefs. I have always been proud of the way my animals are looked after but it has made me who benefits from me keeping them.

I wouldn't say I'm against pets (especially since I have always had them) and am hoping to rehome a rescue dog in the future but it has made me think a lot more about how I view animals outside of the fact I like keeping animals and spending time with them. It is such a deep and emotive topic and something that wouldn't even have occurred to me a few years ago.
 
Courbette said:
I've always kept pets and have had horses in my life. I've recently been reading about vegansim and intensive farming and I have to say it has been a bit of an eye opener and has made me question some of my beliefs. I have always been proud of the way my animals are looked after but it has made me who benefits from me keeping them.

I wouldn't say I'm against pets (especially since I have always had them) and am hoping to rehome a rescue dog in the future but it has made me think a lot more about how I view animals outside of the fact I like keeping animals and spending time with them. It is such a deep and emotive topic and something that wouldn't even have occurred to me a few years ago.
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Yes I have posted before that I think one day I won't be riding my horses. At the moment i can keep up the doublethink needed to justify it to myself but I don't know if that will last forever. I definitely get more benefit out of the arrangement than they do. up to now I've always taken on horses that are duffers in need of a new home but this year I'm hoping for my first homebred, that's a bit different ethically I think but for now I'm just parking that bit of mental spaghetti ;)
 
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