Fuming 😡

[poppy_c]

A new livery is due to arrive at the yard where I keep my pony ( Welsh section a), another livery informed me that the new person was saying some things about my pony. They made a comment about my pony when they was asking who owned which horse ( the comment was my pony has an owner then), they also made a comment saying I will sort the pony out when I move to this yard. I am fuming I have owned my pony for 24 years ( he’s 26 on Friday), he was a companion pony for my other 2 horses which have sadly passed away. He his not backed due to him been only 11h and I had no one small enough to ride him. I let him live like the native he his, I don’t rug him but I treat him like a prince, he’s spoilt rotten. Am I overreacting? Sorry for the long rant

 

[ihatework]

Don’t listen to heresay and gossip.
Welcome the new livery and hold any judgement until you actually get to know them.

 

[94lunagem]

You have a Sec A for exactly the same reasons I do!

I would caution against taking gossip as read, give new livery the benefit of the doubt until they give you reason not to. Then if they are the sort to insert their nose into someone else’s business, chalk it down to experience and smile sweetly whilst looking after your pony however you want to.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

Why do you care what someone whom you have never met and who knows nothing about your pony thinks?

 

[Arzada]

Am I overreacting?

Yes, fuming over hearsay is overreacting

 

[AmyMay]

Don’t listen to heresay and gossip.
Welcome the new livery and hold any judgement until you actually get to know them.

Exactly.

 

[eggs]

Why bother about what some-one may or may not have said?

 

[Jambarissa]

I agree with above, whoever told you what was supposed to have been said is trying to cause trouble.

But also, what is there for the new livery to 'sort out'? Presumably she won't start rugging your pony or bringing him in if it's a bit wet.

 

[nagblagger]

To be honest I would be fuming if someone told me that, but then i would wonder why the person/friend told me...if it was true.
I agree with above, welcome the new person and make your own judgement.

 

[poiuytrewq]

I don't keep my horses on a yard but in my time working on other types of yards outside of racing the past few years I've been stunned by how stories evolve and change in the space of time they leave one persons mouth and upset the last person!
I've been literally there when somethings said and heard it with my own ears and then heard it repeated a totally different thing.
On the odd occasion I hear something about myself I no longer believe it was said in the way I hear it.

 

[Abby-Lou]

Press the ignore button, not worth getting annoyed about something like that

 

[poppy_c]

Thank you for the replys, I usually take comments like this with a pinch of salt but met the new liverys dad tonight and he came storming over saying my pony could do with a good brush and he's never seen me exercising my pony ( the dad's house backs onto the yard), he started ranting that his daughter who is 16 would ride him for me and give him a bath and brush has I don't seem to have the time. Let's just say I put him in his place but now he's told my livery yard owner I am trying to cause trouble.

 

[Lois Lame]

Oh gawd, looks like he thinks his daughter is the be-all and end-all in horse stuff. Hopefully your YO has a clue about people.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

Wow! Just totally stunned! For once I am speechless.

 

[Dave's Mam]

What a rude person.

 

[nagblagger]

What's your relationship like with the YO? Can she have words with him.
I would also tell him if his daughter touched your pony, she will be reported.

 

[skint1]

Probably doesn't bode well for what sort of person they are, but try not to make it your problem. Easier said than done I know, I understand why you're upset- but if you like the yard, just smile through gritted teeth and give them as wide a berth as you can.

 

[BMA2]

Or...maybe the unbacked pony will have enough to say to her when she "exercises it"

Hopefully they bog off and leave you alone

 

[Lucky Snowball]

I agree you should smile and ignore, however, I understand why you’re fuming, I would be too.

 

[Flowerofthefen]

Thank you for the replys, I usually take comments like this with a pinch of salt but met the new liverys dad tonight and he came storming over saying my pony could do with a good brush and he's never seen me exercising my pony ( the dad's house backs onto the yard), he started ranting that his daughter who is 16 would ride him for me and give him a bath and brush has I don't seem to have the time. Let's just say I put him in his place but now he's told my livery yard owner I am trying to cause trouble.

Wow, what a rude man. Can see where his daughter gets it from!! As hard as it is, don't rise to it, be polite. Put all your stuff away so it can't be borrowed and keep an eye on your pony. Hopefully your yard owner won't want the hassle and will think again about letting him move there.

 

[poiuytrewq]

Oh my god!
Your yard owner knows you, it’s her job to tell him to back off. Everyone looks after their horses how they want. I have an old never ridden Welsh A and he is full on hairy and dirty too.

 

[#jackofallmasterofnone]

Devils advocate but I can’t help thinking of my older dog - she doesn’t look great tbh but she is happy out and seen by our vet regularly. We still go out front for ‘fake walks’ and 99.9% of people we don’t know walk by, give a dirty look and don’t say anything … the .1% say something … and while in the moment it hurts and I’m tempted to tell them where to go I take a deep breath and explain the situation. It’s the .1% who speak up when they see something not quite right that I am more grateful for than those who have the thought but turn a blind eye or don’t speak out. Granted they may be totally wrong and in this case it seems rude and unnecessarily confrontational but there may be a way forward. Maybe they came from somewhere that turned a blind eye to issues, if they are new how are they to know or trust that in this case there is no issue. It’s easy to just say nothing.

 

[Fransurrey]

If I was the YO I'd be rescinding the offer of livery. This does not bode well for the yard as a whole.

 

[Nasicus]

If I was the YO I'd be rescinding the offer of livery. This does not bode well for the yard as a whole.

Yup, when people tell you who they are, believe them!

 

[Annagain]

My retired old boy is rugged this year for several reasons but for the last 3 winters has been out naked all day (in overnight) fat, hairy and very very muddy. He was the happiest he's ever been. One of the girls at the yard rang me last winter to say she thought he was looking so sad (he's a master of the puppy dog eyes at coming in time!) she was worried about him as it was raining and he was wet. I got her to stick her fingers right through his coat to see how dry it was at his skin and to compare that to her horse who was in a lightweight and soaked through. She's never mentioned it again.

I wouldn't worry about it. Your YO knows you and your pony and knows how well you treat him. It sounds like it won't take long for her to see this family for what they are.

 

[Tarragon]

I will be honest here, it is a bit of an over-reaction. It wasn't even first hand, and might well have been embellished for effect in the communication.
Like that lovely cartoon of two ladies with their respective horses; one dressage smart with a booted, plaited and rugged horse, the other scruffy and with hairy pony, both looking at each other and thinking - Poor horse/Pony!
You should have more confidence in yourself and just feel smug that they have no idea what makes your pony happy and keeps him healthy

 

[The Xmas Furry]

I will be honest here, it is a bit of an over-reaction. It wasn't even first hand, and might well have been embellished for effect in the communication.
Like that lovely cartoon of two ladies with their respective horses; one dressage smart with a booted, plaited and rugged horse, the other scruffy and with hairy pony, both looking at each other and thinking - Poor horse/Pony!
You should have more confidence in yourself and just feel smug that they have no idea what makes your pony happy and keeps him healthy

Did you read OPs update in post #12?

 

[Jellymoon]

I don't keep my horses on a yard but in my time working on other types of yards outside of racing the past few years I've been stunned by how stories evolve and change in the space of time they leave one persons mouth and upset the last person!
I've been literally there when somethings said and heard it with my own ears and then heard it repeated a totally different thing.
On the odd occasion I hear something about myself I no longer believe it was said in the way I hear it.

Isn’t that an amazing life lesson in any situation.

 

[Birker2020]

Why do you care what someone whom you have never met and who knows nothing about your pony thinks?

That's a good question!

I suppose its because some of us struggle socially, aren't confident in our own skins or are inept at putting across what we mean. And so those of us who are like that care deeply what people think, its horrible to think people are getting a false impression from others about you. Not everyone is prepared to make up their own mind about people. Most people would be biased if told something like that by a livery. I know I'd like to think I would have the common sense to make up my own mind and give them the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Arzada]

Let's just say I put him in his place but now he's told my livery yard owner I am trying to cause trouble.

Well done OP. I hope your YO steps up and deals with him