Funniest falls you've ever had

tallyho!

tallyho!

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I've decided that the falling off thread needed a spin off... c'mon you must have had a funny/surprising falls.... share them so we can have a wee giggle. Of course, safety first, please wear a helmet/suitable safety apparel. Any fall is considered serious, but let's see the I fell and got back on badges.

You might not want to post anything awful or downright dangerous, that's fodder for spin-off thread no.2 which I have not created because I'm in the business of funny. Today anyway.
 
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The one that I look back and laugh about was taking Millie for our second Novice BE.

It was not the best day anyway, I had forgotten my bridle so had to borrow one from a friend (her horse wore XF and Millie wore cob so we had to wrap the bridle twice round her head, more or less). The SJ all seemed to be built on half strides and while we racked up "only" 12 faults it felt like 120.
And then XC was running late with people slotting in even though you were supposed to put your number down. and my nerve was rapidly departing from my body. Friend gave me a bottle of cider and instructed me to drink it for dutch courage. Then Oli Townend tried to slip his number in front of me on the board, which was about the last straw - he graciously realised I was about to lose my marbles and allowed me to keep my slot.

Then I fell off at the third fence :rolleyes: Having made all that fuss, it was rails going from light into dark and we both hesitated, resulting in me doing the proper somersault over M's ears. :oops:
Landed on my feet and clambered back on, fence judge squawking something about a form she was supposed to fill in but I was gone! We finished the rest of the course in style but I was deeply deeply embarrassed!
 
The only time I have come off my current (complete gentleman) was quite funny.

Went to Cirencester fun ride, he was probably 8 months broken.

Prob had done 3-4 miles and he had been immaculately behaved. Got into a stretch of woods with a narrow track and got stuck behind a couple of very fat, very slow cobs, at walk, with nervous riders who wouldn’t/couldn’t give way.

Anyway my chap bunches up and got a bit stroppy, doing little humpy squeaky bucks (something he has never done before or since).

We emerged out of the woods into a wide open space with a canter hill in front of us. Uh oh I thought ... this is going to have a good bronc .... shoulders right back, heels down, legs forward

The bugger launch up in the air and I fell off backwards 😂😂😂😂
 
Many years ago, when I was about 11 I went to jump a ditch. Horse stopped, I relaxed and was about to go around again, when the horse decided to jump after all. I did a somersault and landed on the other side of the ditch, standing by my horse's shoulder in the approved manner and still holding the reins. I do wish camera phones had been around in those days!
 
I fell off in my first ever dressage test doing Intro A. My mare tripped doing a walk to trot transition and carried on tripping so I came off sideways. Lay there thinking you stupid *******. Wouldn't mind but had nearly finished the test. Got back on and finished the test despite being eliminated. Got a score of 61.5%. Always make sure horse is picking her feet up now.
 
We had a 14.3hh r & d piebald cob, with a big barrel and stumpy legs, who was absolutely fabulous in traffic that I rode sometimes to accompany sister on her mare who was not brilliant with big vehicles on narrow roads. I was more used to riding my 16.3hh.

We were almost back home after a hack, riding on a loose rein down a private, rutted lane at the back of some houses, chatting to my sister. Suddenly the cob shied at a rolled up carpet that had been put by a dustbin, then, because the lane was rutted, she stumbled and went down, almost on her knees.
I hadn't been paying attention and I slid over her shoulder and down her leg. She looked down at me to check that I was ok, then immediately looked away into the distance, completely disowning me, as I used her leg as an aid to get back up.
As neither of us were injured, sister and I still laugh about the look on the cob's face as she told anyone watching that she hadn't a clue who this woman climbing up her leg was.
 
Years ago when I was much younger and a lot more agile I had taken my little TB 15.2 to a local very low key show. I was intending to do the RC horse class and someone said I shouldn't have a martingale so I got off to remove it but couldn't get back on. A very gallant guy offered me a leg up, we completely mis- timed it and ended up with both of us on the floor and me sitting on his lap. I felt extremely stupid but we did win the class!
 
Cowpony said:
Many years ago, when I was about 11 I went to jump a ditch. Horse stopped, I relaxed and was about to go around again, when the horse decided to jump after all. I did a somersault and landed on the other side of the ditch, standing by my horse's shoulder in the approved manner and still holding the reins. I do wish camera phones had been around in those days!
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Oh I managed something similar once! Was in the middle of a group lesson and riding a horrible mare with a massive buck. She threw one in unexpectedly and I did a neat somersault, landed on my feet on the track, holding the reins and got a round of applause from everyone else in the lesson.
 
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I fell off my JA pony, who I spent every weekend riding around courses at great speed, in my parents front garden. In walk.
I had got off for some reason and when I went to get on, pony walked off as always. Except she walked straight under the branches of the old Maple tree that used to be there and I was promptly scraped off the back, having clutched hold of my seat saver on the way. So I was lying on my back in the garden, to peels of laughter from my Dad and a load of bemused neighbours looking on.
 
These are amazing!

I was riding my friends Welsh D out hacking with her on her TB when we started to canter along a wide grassy track we used often. I tried to pull up with no luck but didn't worry too much as the horses knew the track and would stop at the end... Only on that day the horses didn't stop for whatever reason and we hit the intersecting footpath and wall of trees on the other side at a fast canter. Her horse went right, mine went left and we both exited stage front and ended up sat in a small ditch holding the reins, shell shocked but completely unhurt. We were laughing too much to get back on and walked home in tears of laughter and often to this day talk about how much we wish someone had caught it on camera!
 
Oh I’ve just remembered another one! New route to me, shown by local rider and the track was dark and brambly... dark and fairly deep puddles in great long ruts. My lovely boy was doing his best to avoid them. On the way back (glad to be going home by then as my knees were scraped by brambles and I wasn’t liking it) we decided to trot home. Must have been a reflection that spooked him in the puddle ahead as he decided to jump it sideways!!! Completely by surprise, there I was up to my middle in cold black puddle water. Wet as I was, I still hopped back on and cursed at the prospect of cleaning the saddle when I got home.
 
Oh so many. My last fall was from patent safety cob (owned by an oap vip) who needed a gentle days hunting to keep her fit. Hacking Quietly home and leaning forward to take out plaits a hind popped out of the hedge in front of us, a quick spook, me out the side door. Being in the middle of the common i hung on to the reins like grim death not fancying a two mile walk to the road and was dragged through the mud. Poor mare had never seen anyone down there before. One companion actually fell off laughing at us. I can fall of anything anywhere and have done.
 
I've fallen off stretching to pick blackberries one, but other than that nothing that makes a good story.

I have been laughed at every one of the 4 times I've come of my big idiot, but that's mainly because they are always as a result of him making some ridiculous life choice for no apparent reason (eg randomly balloon jumping a 'ditch' - read dip in track - that he walks through every day)
 
Transition to working canter, opps bronc, splat! Our 1st prelim attempt inside. The horse warming up next to the arena was rather excited and was doing airs above the ground. My horse performed a nice handstand and I said hello to the lovely arena surface. Judges comment at the end "a little tense today".
 
Lexi_ said:
Oh I managed something similar once! Was in the middle of a group lesson and riding a horrible mare with a massive buck. She threw one in unexpectedly and I did a neat somersault, landed on my feet on the track, holding the reins and got a round of applause from everyone else in the lesson.
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One more here.

School was flooded so lesson was to and fro along a field track. Came for a visit (in a skirt) and got chucked on the leading horse as a guy wanted a pee or a fag or something. My mistake, I havent shortened stirrups and leather reins were wet. The bastard (draft x) decided to bugger off to the stables with me trying to hold soggy reins and then slammed the brakes on. One moment I am in the saddle, the next am standing next to his head holding the reins and the girls behind pissing themselves.
 
I've a few stupid ones... The pony I had as a teenager had hock arthritis which limited what I did with him a lot of the time. The place I kept him was a riding school as well as a livery yard & sometimes I was allowed to borrow RS horses for some fun in return for helping out. One such horse was Bob the Supercob. He took a bit of getting going but he was a decent & careful jumper & could turn on a dime (unlike my pony at the time who was a speed demon but had the rough turning circle of the QE2). Sometimes we used to go on group trips to evening SJ at a local indoor venue which didn't have the largest arena in the world. (not tiny but we were mostly used to jumping on grass) Anyway on this one occasion I was through the the jumpoff & saw a very tight turn involving cutting on the inside of a fence that everyone else was going around the outside of. Bob made the turn but being teenage & stupid I'd forgotten to apply the brakes a bit / had forgotten just HOW tight he could turn... The speed/force with which we made it carried me out of the side door & deposited me right in front of his front feet! Apparently I got up so quickly after landing that it looked like I'd bounced! (was convinced I was about to be trampled but luckily the horse had more sense than me & had ceased forward motion)

Another horse I used to borrow was a big coloured cob with a hogged mane (the significance of this will become apparent in a minute!) named Bandit who had a habit of bronking when excited if he thought you were holding him back. For some reason nobody ever thought to put a neckstrap on him. The yard show used to run a pair class & on one particular occasion I was paired up with a guy on a rather ploddy Shire X (at least I think he was a Shire X... something heavy anyway). For reasons I can't remember (probably that I used to forget courses a lot!) he went in front & I followed him. All was ok for the first few fences until Bandit decided that the horse is front was holding us up & chose bronking on the landing of every fence as his communication method. Cue me screaming to my partner to pick up the pace whilst he blissfully ignored me (think he assumed I was just trying to improve our time). I believe I stayed on until the 3rd or 2nd to last fence at which point (having finally ditched me) Bandit completed the rest of the course without me! In hindsight I should have jumped the last few fences on foot & then we could have argued that technically we all made it 'round although I was a very clumsy teenager who has turned into an even more clumsy adult so it's probably for the best that I didn't...

The last & most recent one was on the Orange Welsh that I sadly lost at the start of Summer. About 4 years or so ago I used to have him at a fairly large yard with a lot of kids on it & sometimes they used to set up PC games equipment & the more daft of the adults (I swear it wasn't JUST me!) used to play with it as well. We'd been pratting about with flags & the like & then decided to do a spot of bending practice in canter (which was later to become a bit of a speciality of his at TREC). At the end of the line of poles I asked him to turn one way & he wanted to go the other. We argued all the way to the arena fence at which point he spun the way he wanted to go at the last second & I went the way I'd been trying to go & splatted into the fence! No harm done apart from making a prat of myself in front of all the giggling kids!
 
Oh just remember another one... My teenage pony who was mentioned in the first post I actually bought from the owner of the riding school (she used to do a bit of buying from a few dealers she knew & selling on). I had him & another pony on trial for a few weeks whilst I decided which one I liked (or rather as it turns out admitted that the other pony was too small) & so was basically using whatever tack lying about vaguely fitted which in this instance was a rather old saddle with very short stirrup bars (probably fine when saddle was new & the leathers were held there tightly, maybe not after plenty of wear as they now moved fairly freely... can we all see where this is going?) I was pootling about the arena trying this pony out with my mum watching. My stirrup fell off whilst I was going around a corner in trot. I was totally unprepared for this & ended up sort of just hanging there half off. Pony came to a dead stop & turned his head around to ask me what on earth I was playing at making him look bad & was I going to hang there all day? After a few seconds I decided that if I tried to climb back up it would be just my luck that the saddle would end up somewhere under his belly so I opted to slither to the ground pathetically. Did buy the pony in the end bless him & he did eventually decide I wasn't a TOTAL embarrassment!

Looking at what I've written I really did ought to stick to hacking & stop going around those pesky corners! (Although none of the above resulted in fun rides in the ambulance which can't be said for my worst hacking fall... I am tempted to tell you about that one as well but although nothing that serious occurred it might spoil the lighthearted fun of this thread)
 
I was in Antigua for a couple of days last year, and found a local stables with a good reputation that did beach rides. I was put on a lovely grey OTTB, and we hacked happily down to the beach.

Once at the beach, we all stripped down to our swimming gear, took off the saddles, and scrambled on bareback. The other horses all ambled happily into the sea. I turned mine to follow, and she accelerated. And kept accelerating.

We'd reached a nice canter by the time we got into the water, and I was starting to think I might just survive when the water reached her back. Wet horses are - and I'm sure this will surprise everybody - very, VERY slippery. (I know, whodathunkit?)

So I slid elegantly (I wish) down her shoulder, swallowed a large amount of the Caribbean sea, and bobbed back up, still holding the reins.

Good - it's a lot easier to get back on when you're floating level with with the horse's back.

Bad - I wasn't wearing my GoPro. It would have made a brilliant video!
 
I was saddle fitting at a yard. The horse was a 17.3 warmblood, the rider who was going to get on him so I could assess the saddle further (female friend but not the owner, he wasn't there) was 5'2" to get her on board I held the horse with one hand and gave her a leg up with the other, unfortunately I did it too hard and launched her up and over the other side. She just disappeared and landed in a heap the other side with me and the horse looking at her. She was ok!
I'm more careful now.
Oz
 
I didn't fall off as such ...

I got a horse off if the walker at work (using a lead rope for a change! Woo! Go me!) And stood the horse next to my tack ready to put it on. To stop the horse wandering off I stood on the rope whilst I adjusted my bridle to fit. Said horse stuck its nose in a bucket, spooked itself and shot backwards. I had both feet on the rope didn't I, not just one ... so proper slapstick comedy style I went flying over backwards!

Lesson learned - only stand on a rope with one foot or just don't use one at all 😂😂😂
 
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