Funniest hacking encounters

[JFTDWS]

During 60 years of riding and carriage driving I have come across most things. Copulating couples, even a three some are two a penny. However the most bizarre event was when carriage driving with the RDA. There must have been a convention for something like a computer game or Game of Thrones sort of thing. Folks in costume, obviously of different ranks and hierachies, all playing along to some sort of script or other.

So two RDA carriages, each driven by a disabled driver, with coach beside, and two bicycles in front and two behind - four cyclists, my carriage also had a carer seated behind the driver.

As we aproached the enactors a roar went up (there must have been at least 25 of them) and they all to a man/woman lined the track and fell to their knees with foreheads on the ground. I took over the driving as my horse grew to 16 hands and passaged past them and would have bolted given half a chance, the following pony looked but was happy to follow us. When we returned they had moved on and we never saw them again.

Fergus would think this was just another day at the office for him although my reenact-y / living history buddies don’t throw themselves to the floor at the sight of him, to be fair.

 

[Tarragon]

My funny story was seeing a tortoise walking along the side of the road. I dismounted and picked it up and saw the address painted on to it's tummy, so I took it the half mile home. I had it in my right hand and it kept on trying to leaver itself off by putting its back feet on to the palm of my hand and pushing up hard. It was surprisingly strong and gosh it tickled. It was lucky it made it back in one piece!

 

[Tinsel]

My funny story was seeing a tortoise walking along the side of the road. I dismounted and picked it up and saw the address painted on to it's tummy, so I took it the half mile home. I had it in my right hand and it kept on trying to leaver itself off by putting its back feet on to the palm of my hand and pushing up hard. It was surprisingly strong and gosh it tickled. It was lucky it made it back in one piece!

but what a happy story

 

[Quigleyandme]

I was riding my pony on Dartmoor and there behind a gorse bush I came across a man lying on a sun lounger completely naked apart from a sun hat reading the Sunday Telegraph.

 

[2ndtimearound]

I used to hack over Cannock Chase for hours so that has given me plenty of eye opening encounters. I was mainly on a very easy to hack warmblood so if he started to play up there was usually good reason

- stopped dead one day and started staring at a spot in the distance and snorting. There was nothing there until suddenly my ears caught an odd noise. A man was playing the bagpipes in the middle of the Chase. Apparently it was a pretty common scenario but we chose to go a different route.
- couldn't understand why he was getting all snorty over a dog being walked until I realised someone was walking a giant goat.....
- heading home one day in the pouring rain and the track took us past one of those quiet (but infamous) car parking areas on the Chase. There was a small blue car with steamed up windows gently rocking from side to side. I tried very hard to go a different route but it was cold, wet and tea time so we had a bit of a meltdown and I decided just to go past with my eyes averted - horse did not avert his eyes and I heard a squeal from inside the car. I just kept riding!!

Out with the trekking centre one day and we came across a man in full drag, makeup smeared everywhere and sky high. He was given bright and cheery Good Mornings from a dozen riders

We still occasionally see some "interesting" sights on treks at Cannock Chase (e.g. the man christened "the green-faced pervert", who was eventually arrested). The most memorable good one was when we came across a couple who were flying their bird of prey (I think it was a sparrowhawk).

 

[Caol Ila]

I'm due for an encounter with naked people. Never had one! Clearly, this happens regularly in other parts of the country.

I've also come across a chap with a hawk. He was not very happy seeing me, because the bird was agitated at the sight of the horse and frantically flapping its wings and pulling on the tresses. Luckily, my mare gave no sh1ts. The guy gave me a scowl like I shouldn't have been there, but we were on the wee road just in front of the yard, and there wasn't anywhere else for me to go.

I found a £10 note once. Jumped off horse, grabbed it, then bought coffee for myself and hacking buddy at our yard's cafe.

 

[visa_bot]

Many years ago, riding along a bridleway there was a burnt out car and you could just get past. I met another lone rider coming towards me and I stopped and told him about the car. It was only after we started talking that I realised it was Davy Jones from the Monkees. I definitely wouldn’t have had the guts if I had realised before but made my day! I didn’t let on that I recognised him.

 

[poiuytrewq]

I was riding, years ago through the bit of forestry near my yard at the time. It wasn’t huge but on a fairly steep hill so zig zagged down.
A guy jumped out of the bushes in front of me and yelled “who go’s there” I nearly fell off with fear, horse took it amazingly well.
This guy was dressed in medieval costume and had a spear or something in his hand.
He apologised profusely and yelled “horse coming”
At which point about 30 odd other people in costume appeared and stood quietly as we passed
My plan had been to turn at the end of the bridleway and have a good canter on the way back up, I decided to go the long boring way home instead a bit freaked out
When I got back to the yard full of my weird ride no one was very impressed, apparently they were a group that met and re-enacted various historical things.

 

[onemoretime]

Some corkers on here (sad ones too) , there have been much earlier threads, one about 10 yrs ago had some crackers, but cant find it!

I remember that one.

 

[Gloi]

When I was young I was trotting along on my pony and I got flagged down by a farmer. "Have you a minute to hold this ewe for me" I got off pony and went in the field . "Just hold it down while I put her lamb bed back in"
I'd not had a lot to do with sheep at that time but I pinned it down while he messed about trying to put it's prolapse back in. She'd just had a couple of lambs.
He put the ewe onto his quad bike and one of the lambs in his jacket. "Can you carry that one"?
So I ended up riding back up the road to his farm with a newborn lamb inside my coat.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

OK so this happened many years ago - back in the 1970's - in the dim and distant past when I was in Pony Club and we'd gone on this Paper Chase. Wouldn't be allowed nowadays!

We were on the local common, which was (and still is) used by the military to train, following the paper trail. Horses were a bit skittish thinking about it, and really quite spooky, but we didn't really take too much notice tbh just thought it was coz they were out on open ground. Friend said oh dear she needed to have a wee, would I hold her pony for her. We were out on the open common at this time, with several little bushes dotted around. So anyway I held the pony and she got on with the job.

Suddenly there was this huge cheer went up, male voices. And the "bushes" all began to move and take on shape. We'd only gone and stopped in the middle of a military training exercise hadn't we, with all the soldiers dressed up in their cammo.

Friend was mortified, poor love she didn't ever really live that one down.

 

[oldandgold]

I was out in deepest Woolwich, South-East London, walking my German Shepherd. She was a very well-trained, responsive dog. I had taken her to all the Good Citizen's Dog Training Schemes and we'd achieved the whole lot and had won at the show at the end of the training. After successful training steps, we were encouraged to say "Sausages?" and treat our dogs with small pieces of cooked sausage.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a half-naked man ran down some steps to our right, waving his erect appendage. GSD froze: I said "Away" with the appropriate arm signal and added "Sausages!!" GSD went to the length of the horse lead rope that I always walked her on, and dived up the steps barking. Bloke froze, tried to turn round, tripped over his feet, and fell in a heap. Screamed as GSD stood over him, panting happily. I let a couple of minutes pass, and gave the command to leave and return to me, which she did. Never saw him again . . .

In the words of Dick Emery - Oooh you are awful

 

[Bonnie Allie]

Hacking along adjacent to our local park when some teenage boys started shouting silly boy stuff at me (clearly didn’t know how old I was). The phrases were things like “show us your t**s”, phrases that had the word c**k in them - shouted in a manner that proved these were new words for them.

As my horse was super stoic in any situation, I trotted toward these 3 teen lads and as I got closer I recognised one of them who had gone to primary school some years before with my son. These kids were about 13 years old.

I said “oh is that you Callum?” Poor Callum nearly passed out when he realised he knew me, I was the same age as his Mum and I’d recognised him”.

I didnt tell them off, but made them chat to me for about 5 mins asking Callum who his lovely friends were, how high school was going and which English teacher they had as I was concerned some of their phrases were grammatically incorrect. It would be terrible if people laughed at them for being stupid. I did ask Callum if he wanted me to have a word to his mother about a good English tutor if he was struggling.

Never had an issue with these local lads again. My poor son was mortified when I told him what I had done.

 

[Errin Paddywack]

Fabulous, best response ever. Poor lad I bet he felt about an inch high

 

[Bayracer]

I was out hacking the other day side saddle the other day and passed a child and father who were on the right of me (my legs are on the left) the child loudly asks father why I have no legs and how am I staying on. The father responds that they used to cut the ladies legs off in the Victorian times so they would me more elegant in the saddle and that my pants were glued to the saddle
The child must have been only 4 or 5 years old and the father didn’t even look like he was joking which was more worrying for that this is what he actually thought.

 

[Rowreach]

Just yesterday, on a really quiet lane miles from anywhere (we see the occasional farmer), I came across a random priest, who told me he has five donkeys and thought my horse was lovely, and he had a wedding to officiate at 1pm, and I tried to explain to him there was no way (even with divine intervention) he would make it back to the chapel in time unless he turned round there. He kept walking, so I really hope the bride and groom didn't have to wait too long

 

[Boughtabay]

Not exactly an encounter, but I’ve just watched my “put anything that fits in his gob” Spanish dragon picking up rocks in the river on our hack I know a lot of people say “they’re more like a dog than a horse!” But I do genuinely wonder if his brain was swapped with a lab at birth sometimes

 

[Time for Tea]

I was riding my sister’s quarter horse down a lane near her new house in Banbury. Didn’t know the area or where we were going really, but it seemed a nice quiet lane, fields all around, no houses. We walked around the corner and suddenly a large black and white goat appeared on the lane. My quarter horse paused. The goat looked at us threateningly, and rushed towards us, as he grew close he rose up on his hind legs and began boxing at the horse’s head. Do you know, that quarter horse just stepped a little sideways in an unhurried way, then marched on, sort of brushing the goat aside as though it didn’t exist. He was a marvellous horse.

 

[Mustard]

Many years ago ( more than 50) I rode ponies for an old chap who bred riding and driving ponies. He kept them on the edge of about 500 acres of common land. One day, I decided I would ride one of the ponies all the way round and set off, bareback as usual. I was rather surprised to come across a couple of elephants being escorted for a walk. The circus was camped at the far en of the and from us, and I'd not noticed the posters. The pony I was on was very calm and happy to continue our outing. I found it more exciting than he did.

 

[criso]

A naked man on a bicycle coming towards me. It was a narrow bridlepath so we had to pass quite close. I didn't know where to look.

 

[Bonnie Allie]

I feel I am missing out - there seem to be a lot of encounters with naked folk. I would have thought with the climate in the UK one would be less inclined to disrobe and galavant around in nature sans clothing.

These stories are great, reading through them again for about the 4th time to get my morning chuckle.

 

[Caol Ila]

Parts of Mugdock have been closed due to filming this week. They have been very tight-lipped about the production -- zero media saying anything about who or what despite my best online efforts to be nosey. I keep waiting for a very famous actor to wander past but it hasn't happened yet. Or maybe it has, but they look like every other punter in Mugdock so I haven't noticed.

 

[ycbm]

I feel I am missing out - there seem to be a lot of encounters with naked folk. I would have thought with the climate in the UK one would be less inclined to disrobe and galavant around in nature sans clothing.

These stories are great, reading through them again for about the 4th time to get my morning chuckle.

I haven't added mine yet. It was in 1996 when naked rambling wasn't accepted at all and the one guy who did it, known as the naked rambler, Stephen Gough, was repeatedly arrested. He was walking towards me on a footpath on my friend's farm.

I had no problem with that but the horse I was on simply wouldn't take his eyes off the man's groin, he was fascinated by the stuff wobbling about that he'd never seen before. Even when he gone past us, Basil was craning his neck back so hard to get another view that he nearly tripped up
.

 

[Gloi]

A naked man on a bicycle coming towards me. It was a narrow bridlepath so we had to pass quite close. I didn't know where to look.

I'll draw you a diagram if you want

 

[littleshetland]

Parts of Mugdock have been closed due to filming this week. They have been very tight-lipped about the production -- zero media saying anything about who or what despite my best online efforts to be nosey. I keep waiting for a very famous actor to wander past but it hasn't happened yet. Or maybe it has, but they look like every other punter in Mugdock so I haven't noticed.

i used to live pretty close to John Paul Jones - bass player for one of my favourite bands, Led Zeppelin, and sometimes hacking past his ginormous house I'd see him in his recording studio , which looked out over one of his fields. Sometimes the gate to this field would be open, and to my shame, I'd turn the horse in and go for a canter in full view in the vague hope he'd come out and tell me to clear off, and perhaps after I'd apologised profusely (and maybe blamed the horse for bolting off with me...) we could have a chat. He never did, but he did wave at me once! What a nice guy.

 

[criso]

I'll draw you a diagram if you want

At least it stopped me looking down which my instructor always tells me off for

 

[fidleyspromise]

I was out hacking the other day side saddle the other day and passed a child and father who were on the right of me (my legs are on the left) the child loudly asks father why I have no legs and how am I staying on. The father responds that they used to cut the ladies legs off in the Victorian times so they would me more elegant in the saddle and that my pants were glued to the saddle
The child must have been only 4 or 5 years old and the father didn’t even look like he was joking which was more worrying for that this is what he actually thought.

I'm not sure that would make me more elegant. Did they use extra super glue to stick their legs back on after riding?

A few years ago I was walking beside my horse after a long hack amd she started jigging beside me so I popped back on her. We turned the corner and there was an older couple standing just a few feet off the path. She turned around and pulled her dress down and he just pulled his shorts up. I shouted good morning in between giggles and cantered off.

There was a woman walking two tiny dogs in a very tight skirt past her knees i the middle of the forest. I had my horse and my young cocker spaniel out in hand. This woman started getting frantic, turns and walks as quickly as her skirt let's her. She realises I'm following her and not turning left so she then shouts, wait, wait, wait. I assumed at me. I stop with my obedient horse and dog rather bemused as she shuffles into the trees. I wait. There's silence.
I proceed with caution and she's half crouched down with these dogs yapping and pulling. My dog took one look, ignored them and we blissfully went past. I didn't see her reappear out of the trees despite being on a straight for another minute or so.