Funniest horse buying/selling stories??

[LauraWinter]

I should be revising but am procrastinating instead....there seems to be a lot of threads on here from people who are buying/selling at the moment and I thought I would share my funniest story with you from one occasion when I was looking to buy. The mare was described as 'stunning' (always a bit wary!) and I asked lots of questions on the phone, sounded like a lovely pony, about 15hh dun native x if I remember rightly and I was looking for something reasonably quiet to have fun on and get my confidence after my TB had tried to kill me (that's another story!). Anyway, asked her to leave it out so I could see it caught from field, got there, lady seemed nice enough, went to field and she called it. I realised it was a bad sign when she called it and it had the same name as the TB, then when it got to the gate and she took its rug off it had one of the most badly dipped backs I had ever seen. That's not the funny part (I had driven nearly two hours to see it

and needless to say she had not mentioned on the phone) and all I could bring myself to say was "...er her back looks a bit odd" as I was so shocked. The lady said....... "Well you can't really notice it when she has got her rug on" !!!!!!! I didn't say much more, just made my excuses and left

 

[tedster]

god have loads, some funny some annoying.
went to Leicestershire to see a 14.2 that turn out to be 12.2... not happy was 100 miles away...

Went to a pony that hadnt been ridden for ages, yet was very hot like it had been ridden a short while ago, and noone would get on it... I knew why when I got on it tired to launch me in to outter space.

Went to see another, turned up at farm, noone there,,, but could here voices coming from a shed... knocked on the shed door ... guy answers "what do u want I;m Having a bath" haha had a bath in the shed..... and they had sold the horse anyway.

One pony was advertised as Bombproof.... it needed a bomb up its butt to make it go anywhere... it wouldnt move... the lady says let my daughter get on then u will see something... we didnt it still wouldnt move and jumped a jumped leg by leg...

The strangest one was when I had just sold one pony,,,, went to view another miles and miles away... was telling the people that owned the pony we went to view about the one we had just sold and they turned out to be the old onwers!! weird!

have many more but would take all day!!

 

[RussianGirl]

Selling a PSG level dressage horse, and got a call saying that the woman was a very experience rider etc, had just moved over from England where she used to ride for her university team etc, she had done much higher stuff that PSG, and wanted a horse to take her up the levels.

Couldn't tack up and fell off at a trot. Dressage superstar I think not!

 

[hmk101]

When I turned up to view a 16.2hh that would have been hard pushed to be 15hh on tip toes- apparently it had just been shod- hence it was smaller than normal.......
And the 'bombproof RC allrounder' I tried for my mother as it was 'only' a 2 hour drive from me ( 3.5hrs from my mother). I got on as there was no one available to ride it, and it calculatedly walked out the arena on its hind legs back to the stables- to cries of 'oh he hasn't done that before'. Needless to say I didn't feel the urge to get my retired nervous mother to travel to view that.

 

[Montyforever]

Went to see about a foal, bought the mum hehe

You know what they say, if you like the mum youll like the foal

 

[MrsMozart]

Hm. Went to see one. Woman said she'd meet me at a lay-by - left me there for well over an hour, never did turn up or apologise (no accidents, etc., she's apparently just damned rude and bad mannered

).

Went to see a ned for daughter - was meant to be 13hh -ish, was 11hh if he stood on tiptoe!

Went to see another ned for daughter - couldn't get it to trot, then when got into a trot (with help of sister) then couldn't stop and fell off. Had to cross-tie him, even then he tried to eat me - must have been something I said

.

Went to see another one for daughter... travelled two hours. Had been exercised that morning (although they said not - still had saddle mark and bits of school in her feet! Had marks on forelegs from an argument with barbed wire (not mentioned on 'phone). We asked girl (owner) to walk, trot and canter pone before daughter got on - the look she threw her Ma when asked to canter! Then she went round, and round, and round and round - daughter piped up "Is she going to stop now?". Took another three circuits before girl could pull her up! We'd taken an experienced lightweight friend, who rode pone beautifully, popping over little jumps even though the woman said the pony never jumped.

And the above is probably why I bought Little Lad!

 

[DW Team]

Selling my 4 year old 17.1hh ID x TB green youngster. Lady came to try him first thing she said "oh he is a bit big" Sorry add said 17.1hh

 

[WoopsiiD]

Not really 'funny' but karma....
Had a pony on loan, total superstar offered to buy it at a damn good price-IMO over the value but was told no never selling her.
Got a phone call a month later they had sold her while we were away on holiday for considerably less than we offered.

Three weeks later we see an ad in tack shop-she was sale again at an incredibly knock down price. Went to see her with every intention of buying. Got there and was told that pony was unsafe for novice-read small child never ridden before-and that they were taking legal action against seller.

We cheekily haggled the price and bought the pony for the price of the new made to measure saddle!!!!

 

[punk]

I travelled 4 hours from Scotland to Lancashire to see two horses that both sounded very similar in the ads and on the phone to owner.ie;
Both were 16.2, 5 years old, bred to event and ready to go PN 'destined for the top' etc etc.......One chestnut, the other grey.
Asked what time would be suitable and was told to come at Midday.
Duly rolled up to find at least 6 other people there - they had all been told to come at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chestnut horse was 15.2 on tiptoe, and very weedy with a yew neck and squint legs.

Grey horse was HUMUMGOUS - at least 17.2, and looked at least half Shire

The guy told us we'd have to 'queue up' to try them.........!

Needless to say, we got back in the car and fumed for 4 hours on the way home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[spottysport]

Went to see a beautiful young TB, asked on the phone if she had any vices - told none at all. Got there and she was weaving for England. They said she was looking at me, looking at you, looking at me, looking at you..........

 

[welshied]

I went to see one and i travelled 2 hours to see it rang up before and the women said yeah yeah you are still ok to see her got there and she told me she had sold it the day before, but oh no i have another one that you may be interested in then she got out a big HW cob (i didn't want a heavy cob) and it was really ugly and she started to tack it up and she had imported it from poland.
Anyway she asked the stable lass to come and ride it and it was messing about so she started shouting at it in polish as this was all it understoos and she had a translation book. Then the women asked me if i wanted to ride her and i just burst out laughing and couldn't stop i just walked away and she didn't look very happylol

 

[Paint it Lucky]

I was selling my heavyweight cob a few years ago, advertised him as a heavyweight cob and alo put a photo up to show how chunky he was (ok admittedly he was trimmed but you could still see how much bone he had). So a woman comes to see him (having spoken to me on the phone first), I get him out of his stable, first thing she says is 'Oh no he's too cobby for me' ! And that was that, what a waste of time!

 

[china]

i sold my newforest and had a women text me which was a pain. if you want a horse you could atleast ring. asking if i would consider a loan with a view to buy. not what i put in the add. anyway her daughter came to try him. rode him up the road and she couldnt even steer him. he was on the pavement etc. hmmm not suitable i dont think. and another women said. has he had sweetich? no i have owned him since he was 2 and hes never had it. well it look like it. ????? she asked me to write a letter saying he had never had it and that if he did in the next 18 months of owning we would have him back? crazyness!

 

[JanetGeorge]

Had someone come to see a TB ex-racer I had for sale. I'd told her he was a roarer. She rode him for 20 minutes (you could hear him on the other side of a 20 acre field) then came back to me and asked: "When does he start to roar?" I resisted the temptation to say: "When he's hungry!"

 

[Quadro]

went to see a horse at a dealers asked if it was ok 2 catch (previous pony was bad) yes yes was told if u called his name he would come 2 the gate
on the way home i realised he didnt even have a name was called young bay gelding!!! i bought him but he was a b****** to catch!!!

 

[Stinkywellies]

My friend had advertised her horse - a lady came to see it - look disappointed and said "Oh, I wonder if horses can have plastic surgery! How rude!!!

 

[Shilasdair]

Was looking for a horse years ago, went to a dealer on the outskirts of Edinburgh..with my father.
The dealer leads us cheerfully to a field full of horses, giving us his patter all the way, to see a 'sweet Tb gelding'.
It takes the dealer 30 mins to catch the horse, all the while he is cheerily shouting 'He's not usually like this' and 'Something must have spooked him' and 'He'll be fine when he gets to know you'. Meanwhile my father is beginning to shake with laughter beside me.
Eventually dealer, redfaced, puffing and sweaty, catches the horse and brings it up to us.
It is clearly a skinny, broken down NH racehorse, complete with tilted pelvis, and scars to front of gaskins.
I say 'Thanks, but he's not quite what I was looking for'.
The dealer pauses, then replies 'Oh, is it the colour you don't like, dear?'
That was the death knell for my poor father's composure....I had to help my poor wheezing, crying father back to the car....it was another 15 mins before he was fit to drive us home.
S

 

[charliesarmy]

I went to view a TBx looked nice but poor asked all the norm questions everything going well I asked if I could tack her up yep no probs...put my fingers in to bridle up and the mare had no teeth (front) first was told she had always been like that(born with no teeth)...then got told she chews things....then the pearler she's looking a bit thin as the grass has to be long for her to be able to eat it

the next minute she's have a major windsucking session on her door

 

[wizbit]

went to see a horse in north wales (4.5hours drive EACH way!

) asked all questions on fone etc, conformation, action, wat work is it in was told ready to affiliate eventing just owner hasnt had time, would easily also show or do dressage "schooled beuatifully" were her exact words. Got there to find a severely pigeon toed, scarred legged beast complete with splints, thats the showing out, not my cup of tea anyway wanted it to event so asked to see it ridden, after holding my mouth shut from seeing the blatantly severe dishing action i noticed you couldnt even put your leg on it! AT ALL!! girl "rode" it in jumping position in all paces and a thorough yank on its gob to stop! after seeing her career around arena for several laps i decided to end the fun

needless to say i didnt get on it, obviously was too "beautifully schooled" for me!!

why cant people just tell the truth?!!!

 

[vicky86]

Im not sure if this is classed as funny or dangerous but there is a lady on my old yard that buys and sells a bit. She had this one horse in who to be fair to her hadn't put a foot wrong and was advertised as a bit of a plodder. People came to see it - the owner rode it for a bit, put it into canter holding the buckle of the reins and was half way through the sentence of "look see how safe she is you dont even need your reins" when right on queue horse went bronking down the school and had owner off.
The strangest thing was that the people bought it anyway...very odd!

 

[Alicat88]

My dad once went to view a horse that "could jump 5 foot"
When he asked owner to show the horse over a fence, she put 2 trotting poles down. "there's 5 foot" she said...

Suppose it was his fault for not asking if it was vertically or horizontally lol :S

 

[LittleSoph]

I travelled two hours to a dealer to see a 'slightly nervous' horse who'd had a difficult start in life... when I said to the groom 'So I know he's slightly nervous, how do you find him to handle?' she just laughed and said 'Slightly nervous? Is that what they've told you?'

They then tried to sell me another pony and started by saying 'You'll love him! Everyone loves him! Honestly, if you can't ride Sonic you may as well give up riding! He's so easy!'

So their rider got on and he napped, bucked, napped some more, wouldn't move forward and refused the jump... I wonder if she changed her day job?! lol!

 

[Puppy]

[ QUOTE ]
Went to see a beautiful young TB, asked on the phone if she had any vices - told none at all. Got there and she was weaving for England. They said she was looking at me, looking at you, looking at me, looking at you..........

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL! I'm sorry, but that did make me giggle

 

[SpruceRI]

Went to try a 'safe family pony' that was currently bolting around the school with another girl who had come to try it!!

Another family cob that wouldn't move, until you really gave it a big boot - and then it just bucked!!

Tried a horse suitable for a novice rider. Shown to me by girls' mother as girl was 'out with her boyfriend'! Mother didn't ride so after lots of questions I rode it, in field. When it came to canter, it just got faster and faster and I couldn't stop.

Everytime I whizzed past 'mother' I bleated ' I can't stop', and she replied ' just aim for the barn, that's what my daughter does'!!!

Went to a dodgy dealer who advertised Safe Cobs. Advert was for an absolute dead-quiet cob. This was for my step mum.

Dealer wouldn't allow his 'girl' to canter the horse. He told me she was too novicey!

When I rode it, all fine until canter, whereupon it did a half rear and a stallion-esq strike out with a front leg, and a grunty-squeal. Repeated each time I asked for canter, which I never got!

Dealer told me I was too good a rider and had put Mr Cob under too much pressure, and would my step-mum like to have a go?

No, she would not!!

 

[emma69]

Best one has to be the doped horse, with the ACP left on the window ledge of the stable!

 

[Puppy]

[ QUOTE ]
Best one has to be the doped horse, with the ACP left on the window ledge of the stable!

[/ QUOTE ]

School boy error alert!!

 

[siennamum]

Went to try a sweet pony for my son, wanted a super safe 1st pony.
Day 1 tried it and it was foot perfect. Decided to go for a 2nd look, requested that we could tack up & get a real feel for pony in day to day routine.
Went after lunch on day 2. Mother (pony club DC) and spoilt brat of a daughter (about 8) were standing with me watching son trot pony round.

I said something like does he ever buck. Mum turns to me and says - no good grief never in his life. Daughter turns to mum & in a petulant voice says, Yes he does mummy, you know he does he was bucking all this morning with X (Big girl on yard) when she was wearing him out......

 

[NeilM]

My OH wanted a second horse, for both of us to ride, and so we took a nice NF gelding on loan for a month, knowing a little of his history and that he was green and a bit nappy.

OH rode him and he seemed fine, I rode him (complete novice) and he seemed fine, but I did notice a few quirks, like he would turn sharp left or spin left when nervous.

A male friend of ours, who has ridden all sorts of horses and rather likes them on the wild side, rode out with my OH and on returning to our field decided to demonstrate how easy H was to ride by dropping the reins and getting him to canter. H thought this was great fun, and to show his approval he shoved his head between his front legs and just for good measure threw in a 'whoo hoo' type buck. Experienced friend was dumped in the middle of the field and my OH burst out laughing.

Our friend never rode H again and we bought him at the end of the months trial

 

[Perfect_Pirouette]

OMG all these stories have just had me PMSL! hahahhaa!

 

[Hippona]

Selling a horse on behalf of a friend ( we ended up buying her...that fat black one in the sig)

Photo of her jumping xc in the ad, and also side-on confo shot. No disputing this is a cob mare...hairy and chunky and described as such.
....one very persistent woman phoned me constantly, I asnswered all questions honestly.....she would not wait for my frind to come back from her hols so turned up very late one evening when I was tired/fed up/wet/hungry ( about 9pm in winter, pitch black and pissing it down)
.....looked over ths atble door and announced that she wasnt right as she wanted something to do dressage on!??!

WFT...never once had she mentioned dressage in all of our numerous conversations.....

I just looked at the mare over the stable door as she happily monched on her hay and mumbled ' nah, she dont do dressage'....