funniest thing youve ever seen a novice do

heidirusso said:
That's hilarious and made me laugh out loud!!!

I have seen someone attach a martingale to the back of the noseband (as oppose the reins)... Poor horse was overbent and wondering what the hell was going on!
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It's called a 'standing martingale' and is an easy way to adapt a running martingale into one if you're into that sort of thing.

As for overreach boots on hinds - not as stupid as it sounds - some horses are rediculously clumsy!!!
 
There is a lady at my field who is a total novice and in the last year has bought a just backed NF for her 5 year old that's never ridde, a 16hh just backed 4 year old ISH for herself and an emaciated 14hh pony for her other children (for alot of money!).

They have done all sorts of things (totally ignoring my offers of help and advice) including:

*I arrived to find her and 4 children grooming their three horses with METAL curry combs!
*riding the baby horse with a gag......upside down in his mouth
*following a leg injury to the skinny horse, posting pics on FB of the mare with open fronted tendon boots on her front legs.......the wrong way round so that the open bit was on the back
 
MontyandZoom said:
There is a lady at my field who is a total novice and in the last year has bought a just backed NF for her 5 year old that's never ridde, a 16hh just backed 4 year old ISH for herself and an emaciated 14hh pony for her other children (for alot of money!).

They have done all sorts of things (totally ignoring my offers of help and advice) including:

*I arrived to find her and 4 children grooming their three horses with METAL curry combs!
*riding the baby horse with a gag......upside down in his mouth
*following a leg injury to the skinny horse, posting pics on FB of the mare with open fronted tendon boots on her front legs.......the wrong way round so that the open bit was on the back
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Sheeesh, what a woman!
 
A novicey loanee of one of my horses, years ago, bent down to groom the front leg and coronet band of my safest old cob, he raised his knee, whacked her straight in the nose and almost knocked her out! It was funny, but I really felt for her, must of hurt and she had a bloodied nose too, but she just seemed so switched off about the obvious!!
 
When i was a novice 'helper' at the stables and on the training day, we were learning to leg up. I put a bit too much energy in it for the weight of my very slightly colleague, and hurled her over the other side of the horse.

I was once having a riding lesson, was just mounting at the block when instructor arrived, looked up to arena and shouted 'are we no longer wearing a hat then?' I don't know how when I'd been riding for ten years, but I forgot my riding hat.

Also, I have only just worked out what way my brushing boots are supposed to go on...
 
guido16 said:
OK, not novicey, just VERY drunk (at the time)

Was in stables (open barn) with pal (plus much wine - in plastic pint cups)
Decided that one of my 3 yr olds should maybe be backed.

So the plan was - I would launch myself from the gate, gather some speed, take a sharp 90` turn (not sure why..), gathering speed the entire time, then launch myself onto my horse (16.2HH), who was standing eating hay and minding her own business.

So, got off the gate, gathered some good speed, got round the 90` turn with some difficulty but still upright, was on the final run towards the horse and realised I still had wine in my hand......

OK, there was no going back, held wine aloft (not going to spill it - no way..), get ready for the springbox jump, then darkness.....

I forgot to jump.

Went face first into the horses side, bounced off her like a weeble and landed on my arse about 4 foot away..

Horse - looked at me, didnt move a foot, took a mouthful of hay and turn the other way...

but hey, I still had my wine intact...

So if anyone would like their horses backed.

Incidentally, I eventually backed her and she competed at Badminton this year!!!! (not with me lol)
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That's brilliant ... have just spat tonic water all over the sofa!!!!!!!
 
I was riding this pony that would not be led out over to the school - no matter what you did, he planted himself in the middle of the road you had to cross and you always ended up getting on.

So one morning I was DETERMINED to walk him over without getting on. I tried everything I could think of, but all he did was to sidle off up the road, so we were actually getting further and further from the school:rolleyes:

So, bearing in mind, I am not a morning person, I was getting really peed off - eventually I decided to admit defeat and ride him over. So tried to climb on. Except I forgot to tighten the girth in my irritation.... cue the saddle slipping dramatically and me landing on my bum on the tarmac! Oh, and all in front of the new YM as well:o:o:o

I'd only been riding for 12 years at that point after all....:rolleyes::o:D
 
Not a novice thing but one of the funniest things I've seen. We loaded our 13hh onto trailer to go off to a show. She was wearing new travel boots and mum bent down to adjust one and said pony pooed on her head.
 
Oh talking of travelling, we turned up at a PC rally once and my friend (who's mum was my instructor) had come along too. Said mother had helped pack the trailer and car, bundled small boy into car, driven all the way to the rally.... only to get there and realise she'd forgotten the pony who was happily munching in his stable! :) I nearly wet myself laughing.
 
Ok so when I was 10 and clueless I was helping my mum put jumps up for my pony in the school but when I led him to the corner to get the next jump wing he was sniffing the tall poo scooping thing and teh handle got caught on his bit ring!

This freaked him out so he galloped off round the school shaking the scoop around, it went flying off and landed in the middle of the school!

The pony was fine btw!
 
I used to work at a riding school, and among the characters we had there was a lady with two daughters who had a lot more money than sense - they had barely mastered rising trot before she had bought them a newly-backed four year old - each - to ride.

There was another girl there who had a horse on loan and like to think she was a lot better than she was. She cottoned on to the fact that this lady was filthy rich and went out of her way to 'assist' the two girls with their ponies because the mum would give her cash for it. As an employee it should have been my job to help them but the woman was an overbearing old cow so I was quite glad to leave them to it.

Anyways, one day they've just bought new stirrups and leathers and are trying to attatch them to the saddle. They've managed to attatch one OK, but for some reason can't do the other one. Cue this heated debate and lots of raised voices and the snobby girl has decided that the mum has bought "2 left stirrup leathers, and no right stirrup leather!"
The mum looks furious ("But I bought them as a PAIR!"), but agrees ''thats definitely two left stirrup leathers isn't it!!''
'Definitely' nods the snobby girl, 'there's no way that will go on the saddle'.
Cue the woman ringing the saddlery, right there and then, and giving them one hell of an earful for selling her ''two left stirrups leathers!!''

This went on for a comically long period of time, with the saddlery trying to explain that all stirrup leathers are the same, only to be met by the mum handing the phone to the snobby helper who also insisted that there were 'definitely two left stirrup leathers!'

I did eventually go over and attatch the second stirrup correctly but I nearly died laughing in the process.
 
When I worked at a college, I asked some degree level students to turn out some horses and they turned them out in stable rugs. When i asked them why they didn't take them off they said 'you didn't tell us to'. It was the start of the college year to be fair but I was still amazed!

Also watched a husband catch his childrens small pony by putting his arm over it's neck and putting it in a head lock, he couldn't understand why it was jumping around trying to get away.
 
Ziggy_ said:
I used to work at a riding school, and among the characters we had there was a lady with two daughters who had a lot more money than sense - they had barely mastered rising trot before she had bought them a newly-backed four year old - each - to ride.

There was another girl there who had a horse on loan and like to think she was a lot better than she was. She cottoned on to the fact that this lady was filthy rich and went out of her way to 'assist' the two girls with their ponies because the mum would give her cash for it. As an employee it should have been my job to help them but the woman was an overbearing old cow so I was quite glad to leave them to it.

Anyways, one day they've just bought new stirrups and leathers and are trying to attatch them to the saddle. They've managed to attatch one OK, but for some reason can't do the other one. Cue this heated debate and lots of raised voices and the snobby girl has decided that the mum has bought "2 left stirrup leathers, and no right stirrup leather!"
The mum looks furious ("But I bought them as a PAIR!"), but agrees ''thats definitely two left stirrup leathers isn't it!!''
'Definitely' nods the snobby girl, 'there's no way that will go on the saddle'.
Cue the woman ringing the saddlery, right there and then, and giving them one hell of an earful for selling her ''two left stirrups leathers!!''

This went on for a comically long period of time, with the saddlery trying to explain that all stirrup leathers are the same, only to be met by the mum handing the phone to the snobby helper who also insisted that there were 'definitely two left stirrup leathers!'

I did eventually go over and attatch the second stirrup correctly but I nearly died laughing in the process.
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PMSL @ this!!!
 
I have turned Frankie out in his stable rug before! Totally forgot to change it, and then the little bugger wouldnt come to me to be caught!!!
 
My funniest had to be a newbie owner who had their first ever pony with us telling our blacksmith they only wanted shoes on the fronts but stud holes in front and hinds...
 
only_me said:
I once saw someone fall off the pony over a trotting pole...

at walk :eek:

:p
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That sounds like me, am 100% certain I've done that and probably more than once ;)

Have also done the one where you get one with girth too loose but some how survive, then later realised the issue, lent down to tighten girth and only then did the saddle slide round with me still in it onto the floor.
Thankfully saint of a pony just stayed still calmly eating the grass on the verge.
 
I'm still quite novicey but the most dumb thing I have ever done is fall off in dismount.

Was on a wider horse that usual and had lost all power so when I swung my leg over it got stuck on the cantle. Unfortunately my left and right side weren't very co-ordinated and I'd already taken my other foot out of the stirrup so I ended up landing on my blimmin' head from an 18hh....

I'll probably continue to do stupid things for a while yet - most likely in all spheres of my life, for the rest of my life!
 
Not long after getting Henry, I went on a 2hr hack with the reins crossed under his neck. He didn't put a foot wrong and nobody noticed (there were three of us!).

I sometimes put pink brushing boots on Henry (for road safety, not brushing) and I've forgotten to take them off more than once afterwards. Thankfully he's quite tolerant!

Have gone straight over the other side in a rather over-enthusiastic mount from a bench. Thankfully I was alone, but I'm sure ponies can laugh!!
 
It's got to be my hubby dismounting for the 1st time!
It wasn't long after we'd got Bailey & I talked him into learning to ride - he did great for his 1st time until it came to dismounting. I explained how to but he obviously didn't really understand as he didn't swing his leg over so just ended up trying to do the splits in mid air (one leg up on the horse, the other on the ground - bearing in mind my horse is 16.2/16.3hh!) and landed with a thud on his behind! :rolleyes: :D
 
guido16 said:
OK, not novicey, just VERY drunk (at the time)

Was in stables (open barn) with pal (plus much wine - in plastic pint cups)
Decided that one of my 3 yr olds should maybe be backed.

So the plan was - I would launch myself from the gate, gather some speed, take a sharp 90` turn (not sure why..), gathering speed the entire time, then launch myself onto my horse (16.2HH), who was standing eating hay and minding her own business.

So, got off the gate, gathered some good speed, got round the 90` turn with some difficulty but still upright, was on the final run towards the horse and realised I still had wine in my hand......

OK, there was no going back, held wine aloft (not going to spill it - no way..), get ready for the springbox jump, then darkness.....

I forgot to jump.

Went face first into the horses side, bounced off her like a weeble and landed on my arse about 4 foot away..

Horse - looked at me, didnt move a foot, took a mouthful of hay and turn the other way...

but hey, I still had my wine intact...

So if anyone would like their horses backed.

Incidentally, I eventually backed her and she competed at Badminton this year!!!! (not with me lol)
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Absolutely fantastic, but at least you saved the wine! :p
god between us, we've had so many stupid moments....
- one day in the pouring down rain me and G (Kelly's mum) wanted to go to indoor to have a turn each on riding Kel, but puddles all over yard so G said she'd just jump on Kel behind me - cue Kelly broncing across the yard, dumping G and almost dumping me!!
- Taking my friend out riding on lead rope on my first loan pony and halfway back she's complaining about being uncomfortable - me just walked on, saying you're fine you're just not used to it - then I heard "no I'm really not right!" so I turned round and my friend is almost sat on her side, as the saddle slips round the side of my (saintly) pony and she's got both hands clinging onto his neck!! :eek:
- G giving me leg up onto Kelly (bareback) but she was so soft and slippy, I landed on her back and promptly slipped right round her belly and landed in a heap in a huge puddle - had to ring my Dad for a lift as I was so wet and muddy I don't think they'd have let me on the bus!!
 
I worked at a riding school so have seen a fair few things, saddles back to front, practically on the bum, not done up at all (I did have one person tack up without a girth at all, and bring the horse into the lesson like that!) bits on upside down, back to front, and not actually in the mouth (behind, with the rest of the bridle done up) I've seen someone trying to put a pony's nose through a chifney, headcoller style, knee boots on all 4 legs, hay / straw used interchangably, a horse being turned out still wearing its bridle, people being given legs up or using mouting blocks ending up the other side on the floor, etc. But the funniest, funniest thing about novice riders, from an instructor's point of view, is young men turning up in tight jeans, and no underpants. I used to teach the local university riding club, and every October, some male students would turn up like that, and get rawer, and more uncomfortable as the lesson went on! I never had one do it twice!
 
When I was little dismounting with a back protector on and caught the bottom of it on the saddle and it lifted up and smacked me on the chin nearly took my head off lol
 
Have also seen the travel boots on upside down. The best was a lady who thought she was the bee's knees but didn't have a clue was riding a friends gelding. He had a dutch gag on and she had fastened the flash strap over the gag. lol

My best stupid moment was on my mare not so long ago. She was on box rest and had to be ridden out at walk everyday. I managed to fall off at a standstill. lol I got out the gate and leaned over to grab the gate which moved so I reached further and the saddle slipped as I hadn't fastened it properly. I scrambled to try to get myself back round but I gave up and dropped tot he floor with a thud, jumping straight up incase anyone saw me. lol
 
Storminateacup said:
A novicey loanee of one of my horses, years ago, bent down to groom the front leg and coronet band of my safest old cob, he raised his knee, whacked her straight in the nose and almost knocked her out! It was funny, but I really felt for her, must of hurt and she had a bloodied nose too, but she just seemed so switched off about the obvious!!
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I did something like this once- was trying to get a good look at an awkwardly placed cut. Would've been okay, but the power was off so I was leaning close to get the torch in the right spot. Horse got me right on the brow bone- I had a shiner for weeks. I felt so stupid.
 
Have enjoyed reading these :D

I just remembered a recent one, after 17 of my 22 years having been spent around horses, i was tacking up a 26 year old mare and nearly got knocked out. I just wanted to give her legs a little stretch because the girth sometimes pinches her, and she wouldn't pick her leg up, so i bent down in front of her to reach further down, she obligingly lifted it up (at the speed of light) and caught me right in the mouth. I nearly fell over, stumbled away into the tack room until the world stopped spinning and had a fat split lip for a week.

I have seen many a child using a metal curry comb on a horse. I can't help but scream. Also someone who should know better said 'i hate walking over grids' as the horse she was riding slipped on one. I have to admit i shouted at her.

Sorry to dredge this post back from yesterday. New job means i don't get on here much now :(
 
Not a novice but my friend whose a serious eventer, falling off xc schooling and landing on the jump. The jump was triangular, so pointed at the top, and she was on a bp. So she landed and was pivoted on it, laughing so much she was swinging (high enough legs didn't touch the ground) have that on video somewhere ;)


Minnies_Mum said:
I've seen a novice horse owner attach the stirrup leathers to the bars by lifting up the saddle flaps so the leathers just poked out the bottom by the girth
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It's actually quite common... well with those who have icelandic horses anyway :p
They don't use the leathers with the buckle (so you get 3 layers of leather) but the flat stirrup leathers like on the WOW saddles that just hook through a hole.
So the stirrup leather lays flat underneath the flap.
It means your stirrup leath can't pinch your leg, and it doesn't scratch your saddle flap.
Originates from Iceland where the horses trekked for days on end in uncomfy saddles, so stopped them from getting pinched legs.

Not so much now, but seen it by ltos of German riders still.
We'll do it when we go to the beach and ride in shorts - no pinched legs ;)

Edie82 said:
The stirrup leather under saddle flap thing - my saddler told me people sometimes to this to prevent the flap getting scratched? Must be very awkward though :confused:
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You have to know what hole your stirrups need to be on (pain to change when on horse back otherwise!) and you can't run your stirrups up which is annoying, so they just hang when the saddle is put away. But no different for anything else :)
 
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