lalala
Well-Known Member
has any one got any funny stories to share??
i'm bored to night and need a giggle
i'm bored to night and need a giggle
FUNNY STORIES
- Thread starter lalala
- Start date
Durhamchance
Well-Known Member
Yes, I have one!
I sent my other half into the outdoor school on sunday to take in my mounting block. He came back and said "aww, they've put up letters in there so kids can learn the alphabet as they ride around"
After I'd stopped PMSL I had to explain what dressage markers are
I sent my other half into the outdoor school on sunday to take in my mounting block. He came back and said "aww, they've put up letters in there so kids can learn the alphabet as they ride around"
After I'd stopped PMSL I had to explain what dressage markers are
CaleruxShearer
Well-Known Member
Sent friend tho catch the horse, black cob gelding, with a packet of minstrels (coblet will do ANYTHING for them) and he came back 20 mins later with a bay mare and no minstrels.
God knows how he managed it because the horse that he bought in isn't even turned out in the same field as my horse not to mention the fact she is a 16.1hh TBx
God knows how he managed it because the horse that he bought in isn't even turned out in the same field as my horse not to mention the fact she is a 16.1hh TBx
sally87
Well-Known Member
i was out riding the other week & the horse i was riding managed to set off a car alarm by neighing at it.
Slinkyunicorn
Well-Known Member
How about the day I went out for a hack with my friend - her horse was in front and we were out for about an hour as I had just got my boy home on loan so was introducing him to short rides around the village. The ride ended by going up the main street and turning into the lane were the yard is - its a mile from the village and we probably were passed by about 6 cars during the ride and passed a few doggy walkers. It was a lovely afternoon and we did a fair bit of trotting (especially to get through the village) arriving back at the yard in one piece - unitl I dismounted. It was then that I discovered that the back seam in my jods had given way and my knickers were on display to all and sundry!!
Still at least I was wearing some....
Still at least I was wearing some....
Ravenwood
Well-Known Member
Daughter decided she wanted to ride again after we lost her pony, driving down the lane she points out a small grey pony in a field. I know the owner, bought for grandkids, never used, I'll give her a ring and ask.
Arrange to meet owner to try pony, owner not there so daughter and I get pony out of field (fighting back its goat companion) tie it up in the yard, find grooming kit and start grooming. Unfortunately the pony was a huge, very fat Highland pony - totally unsuitable for 5yr old daughter. Still owner hasn't arrived so I look for some tack but can't find any. Half an hour later and still the owner hasn't shown so we leave pony tied up and jump in car to her house thinking she has forgotten.
Drive 500 yrds down road and spot owners car in a gateway, pop head over gate and there she is with a little grey pony bored stiff waiting for us.
I had got the WRONG pony
Rushed back to pony No 1, put it back in field, still fighting the goat, put everything back where I found it and left as fast as I could!
Arrange to meet owner to try pony, owner not there so daughter and I get pony out of field (fighting back its goat companion) tie it up in the yard, find grooming kit and start grooming. Unfortunately the pony was a huge, very fat Highland pony - totally unsuitable for 5yr old daughter. Still owner hasn't arrived so I look for some tack but can't find any. Half an hour later and still the owner hasn't shown so we leave pony tied up and jump in car to her house thinking she has forgotten.
Drive 500 yrds down road and spot owners car in a gateway, pop head over gate and there she is with a little grey pony bored stiff waiting for us.
I had got the WRONG pony
Rushed back to pony No 1, put it back in field, still fighting the goat, put everything back where I found it and left as fast as I could!
3Beasties
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
Daughter decided she wanted to ride again after we lost her pony, driving down the lane she points out a small grey pony in a field. I know the owner, bought for grandkids, never used, I'll give her a ring and ask.
Arrange to meet owner to try pony, owner not there so daughter and I get pony out of field (fighting back its goat companion) tie it up in the yard, find grooming kit and start grooming. Unfortunately the pony was a huge, very fat Highland pony - totally unsuitable for 5yr old daughter. Still owner hasn't arrived so I look for some tack but can't find any. Half an hour later and still the owner hasn't shown so we leave pony tied up and jump in car to her house thinking she has forgotten.
Drive 500 yrds down road and spot owners car in a gateway, pop head over gate and there she is with a little grey pony bored stiff waiting for us.
I had got the WRONG pony
Rushed back to pony No 1, put it back in field, still fighting the goat, put everything back where I found it and left as fast as I could!
[/ QUOTE ]
PMSL!!
Daughter decided she wanted to ride again after we lost her pony, driving down the lane she points out a small grey pony in a field. I know the owner, bought for grandkids, never used, I'll give her a ring and ask.
Arrange to meet owner to try pony, owner not there so daughter and I get pony out of field (fighting back its goat companion) tie it up in the yard, find grooming kit and start grooming. Unfortunately the pony was a huge, very fat Highland pony - totally unsuitable for 5yr old daughter. Still owner hasn't arrived so I look for some tack but can't find any. Half an hour later and still the owner hasn't shown so we leave pony tied up and jump in car to her house thinking she has forgotten.
Drive 500 yrds down road and spot owners car in a gateway, pop head over gate and there she is with a little grey pony bored stiff waiting for us.
I had got the WRONG pony
Rushed back to pony No 1, put it back in field, still fighting the goat, put everything back where I found it and left as fast as I could!
[/ QUOTE ]
PMSL!!
Durhamchance
Well-Known Member
Oh Ravenwood you win!!! LOL
Keltic
Well-Known Member
My friend and I went for a summer bareback hack, lovely warm day i wore shorts and a little strappy top, on our way home we rode down the side of the field towards the yard and decided to trot, the horses thought it was a race broke into canter and got faster and faster, my top got lower and lower!! I had one hand on the reins and one hand on my top!! Everyone in the yard could see us by now including the old guy who ran the place, i had to decide what was more important stopping my top coming completely down or stopping my horse lol I stopped the horse and gave everyone a right eyeful!! I didnt live that one down for a long time lol
rockinghorse
Well-Known Member
whilst out hacking on a hot bank holiday monday got lost but rang OH (non horsey) to meet us at a cross roads in the country & bring drinks. Waiting at crossroads Oh pulled up in car & unloaded 3 buckets of water for horses!!!!!!!!!!! I Love him to bitsXXX
The Bouncing Bog Trotter
Well-Known Member
Out hacking one gorgeous summer evening and come across 2 blokes having a fantastic picnic - neither wearing any clothes. Takes all sorts!
only_me
Well-Known Member
how about the badminton story?
The only Irish eventer in the whole competition and he goes the wrong way
can you imagine the stick he got for that?!
The only Irish eventer in the whole competition and he goes the wrong way
can you imagine the stick he got for that?!
DuckToller
Well-Known Member
That is one well-trained OH. Do you hire him out?
I have a funny story about George the driving pony, village carnival procession and a marching band, if anyone wants it. Warning - quite long but amusing. Anyone still up?
I have a funny story about George the driving pony, village carnival procession and a marching band, if anyone wants it. Warning - quite long but amusing. Anyone still up?
Slinkyunicorn
Well-Known Member
Yes please!!
DuckToller
Well-Known Member
Give me 5 mins to type it up then!
DuckToller
Well-Known Member
Friend asked if I could open the village day procession with my pony and trap. My pony isn't too good with noise, so I borrowed my neighbour's driving pony, who is as slow and calm as they come, and he had the added benefit of having been in another village parade, with two marching bands.
The parade was setting off at 1, and I said I would arrive ten minutes before, no earlier, as George wouldn't stand still for long.
Set off 12.30, forgot George walks at 1 mile an hour, and trots at 2 miles per hour, tops. Arrived with minutes to spare, only to find the chap in charge thought we weren't coming, and had got all the entrants out from the side street into the main road, ready for the off.
We had to push past the playgroup, the brownies, the school, the two pub floats, local dj playing at full blast, and of course the marching band. Just as we reached the front, George still meandering at 1 mph, the bloke in charge of the band, probably miffed that he wasn't leading it anymore, struck up.
George, loveable, bomb-proof dartmoor that he is, was horrified by the noise. As the band marched determinedly forward, George stopped dead, and then proceeded to reverse. The cart, being 4 wheels with axle, jack-knifed. Ever mindful of the crowds and the RSPCA, I tickled George with the whip. George reversed more forcefully, the cart jammed sideways across the street and the backwheels stuck into the pavement.
Meanwhile an entire procession was bearing down on us, the marching band in full flow, the leader walking backwards to conduct, the playgroup, brownies, school and pub floats all trundling up the high street, and oblivious to the predicament up ahead.
I gave up being nice, and started flailing madly with the driving whip, George ignored all my attempts to send him forward and continued his efforts to reverse the card, and my companion (whose idea it was to use the pony and trap) was by now yelling "Stop stop" at the band, who were all concentrating hard on reading their music and marching manfully onwards.
Meanwhile, in the local hairdresses, a very horsey-friend of mine was sitting having her hair done. She had tears running down her face, but refused to come and help, owing to the tin foil cap on her head with bits of highlighted hair coming out.
Fortunately the band leader spotted the large obstruction in his path, the entire procession ground to a halt, I leaped out and dragged George forward, leapt back in and urged George on, Bodicea-style, up the entire length of the high street at a spanking trot, just in time before the band struck up again. Fastest that dartmoor has ever shifted. We entered the village field a good 15 minutes ahead of the rest, and were met with bewildered organisers saying "Where's the rest of the parade?".
They haven't asked me back for this year.
The parade was setting off at 1, and I said I would arrive ten minutes before, no earlier, as George wouldn't stand still for long.
Set off 12.30, forgot George walks at 1 mile an hour, and trots at 2 miles per hour, tops. Arrived with minutes to spare, only to find the chap in charge thought we weren't coming, and had got all the entrants out from the side street into the main road, ready for the off.
We had to push past the playgroup, the brownies, the school, the two pub floats, local dj playing at full blast, and of course the marching band. Just as we reached the front, George still meandering at 1 mph, the bloke in charge of the band, probably miffed that he wasn't leading it anymore, struck up.
George, loveable, bomb-proof dartmoor that he is, was horrified by the noise. As the band marched determinedly forward, George stopped dead, and then proceeded to reverse. The cart, being 4 wheels with axle, jack-knifed. Ever mindful of the crowds and the RSPCA, I tickled George with the whip. George reversed more forcefully, the cart jammed sideways across the street and the backwheels stuck into the pavement.
Meanwhile an entire procession was bearing down on us, the marching band in full flow, the leader walking backwards to conduct, the playgroup, brownies, school and pub floats all trundling up the high street, and oblivious to the predicament up ahead.
I gave up being nice, and started flailing madly with the driving whip, George ignored all my attempts to send him forward and continued his efforts to reverse the card, and my companion (whose idea it was to use the pony and trap) was by now yelling "Stop stop" at the band, who were all concentrating hard on reading their music and marching manfully onwards.
Meanwhile, in the local hairdresses, a very horsey-friend of mine was sitting having her hair done. She had tears running down her face, but refused to come and help, owing to the tin foil cap on her head with bits of highlighted hair coming out.
Fortunately the band leader spotted the large obstruction in his path, the entire procession ground to a halt, I leaped out and dragged George forward, leapt back in and urged George on, Bodicea-style, up the entire length of the high street at a spanking trot, just in time before the band struck up again. Fastest that dartmoor has ever shifted. We entered the village field a good 15 minutes ahead of the rest, and were met with bewildered organisers saying "Where's the rest of the parade?".
They haven't asked me back for this year.
Slinkyunicorn
Well-Known Member
ROFLMAO! Brilliant - love George!
Whats wrong with a re-run?
some people have no sense of adventure!!
Whats wrong with a re-run?
DuckToller
Well-Known Member
Glad you are still up - would have hated to type all that then no-one read it! George is a star, as round as he is fat, but not quite as placid as I thought! He was behind the marching band at the other village day parade, so I guess he preferred to see it in front of him. Bless
Slinkyunicorn
Well-Known Member
Hehe!
My dad used to get carted round the village but two fat shetlands playing Father Christmas! Their owner would be fired up on a couple of large ones and my dad would be clinging on for grim death!!
somethingorother
Well-Known Member
haha he's proving he's not a push over
The one that comes to mind (from the neighing- car alarm story)
When i shared a pony with a friend we decided to go for an early Sunday morning hack to get him used to road work, as he was young and it would be quiet then. Unfortunately we had to pass through a lovely, quiet (quite posh too) little cul de sac, at which point pony realises he's the only pony, where's his friends??!?! He then decides to plant his feet smack bang in the middle and neigh his head off for a good 5/10 minutes, until i'm sure every person on this unsuspecting street are woken, and many curtains were twitching, and someone came to their door. At about 8.30am... Whoops!
The one that comes to mind (from the neighing- car alarm story)
When i shared a pony with a friend we decided to go for an early Sunday morning hack to get him used to road work, as he was young and it would be quiet then. Unfortunately we had to pass through a lovely, quiet (quite posh too) little cul de sac, at which point pony realises he's the only pony, where's his friends??!?! He then decides to plant his feet smack bang in the middle and neigh his head off for a good 5/10 minutes, until i'm sure every person on this unsuspecting street are woken, and many curtains were twitching, and someone came to their door. At about 8.30am... Whoops!
Ravenwood
Well-Known Member
I read it :0 Brilliant story - ponies, don't you just love 'em?
Pearlsacarolsinger
Up in the clouds
ROFL
Our first horse was called George he had driven in Blackpool and was completely bombproof, nothing at all fazed him, and he too had two speeds, slow and stop. Our 'action photos' are of him eating
The only time he woke up was when he met the Whitsuntide Parade complete with band. It was the highlight of his year, every year!
Our first horse was called George he had driven in Blackpool and was completely bombproof, nothing at all fazed him, and he too had two speeds, slow and stop. Our 'action photos' are of him eating
The only time he woke up was when he met the Whitsuntide Parade complete with band. It was the highlight of his year, every year!
Box_Of_Frogs
Well-Known Member
Oh Llewellyn what a lovely tale! If ever the owners want to sell George, let me know ... he sounds exactly my sort of horse!!!!! 1mph works for me!!!
itsme123
Well-Known Member
I have a couple.
My first pony was a bit of a loon. He was on loan to me after the owners had bought him for their rather spoilt daughter and she;d 'given up' and he;d been left to live in their rather large garden. The owners loved having a pony in their garden (was more of an orchard!) and so I got him totally for free.
Anyway, being cocksure of myself I decided his nasty temperament was NO problem whatsoever and I roped in a couple of friends to help me hack him out. Bear in mind he'd been stuck in this garden for about 10 years and hadnt seen another horse in that time.
We got him ready and put on his ancient saddle and ancient bridle and took him down to the village. Just beyond the village was a livery yard so as things were going well we decided to take him that way so he could 'say hello' to some other horses. Oh! what a mistake! This pony went beserk. I had to dismount as he was rearing and spinning, and just as I dismounted he shot off (friend had forgotten to hold him) and broke his reins clean off... pony cantering up and down the road, no-one could stop him. In the end I had to phone the owners to send their gardener to help us. One very shameful walk home!
Even worse was that after that the pony jumped out of it;s field to go and see it;s new friends at least once a week... I outgrew him in the end and he was sent to a RS (because of his escaping habits) but to this day I am certain that the owners regretted ever having let me have that pony.
The other one was when my son dropped his stretch armstrong toy in the shetland's paddock. the shetland was in a 'piggy paddock' of just dust and old hay and obviously thought this green toy was some kind of freak apple, for quicker than son could bend down to pick the toy up shetland had whipped his head down and eaten it whole. There was me panicking, son in tears and OH standing with shetland in a headlock trying to shove his arm down it;s throat to retrieve the toy. Pony regurgiated the toy minutes later, and we laugh about it now but at the time it was quite scary.
My first pony was a bit of a loon. He was on loan to me after the owners had bought him for their rather spoilt daughter and she;d 'given up' and he;d been left to live in their rather large garden. The owners loved having a pony in their garden (was more of an orchard!) and so I got him totally for free.
Anyway, being cocksure of myself I decided his nasty temperament was NO problem whatsoever and I roped in a couple of friends to help me hack him out. Bear in mind he'd been stuck in this garden for about 10 years and hadnt seen another horse in that time.
We got him ready and put on his ancient saddle and ancient bridle and took him down to the village. Just beyond the village was a livery yard so as things were going well we decided to take him that way so he could 'say hello' to some other horses. Oh! what a mistake! This pony went beserk. I had to dismount as he was rearing and spinning, and just as I dismounted he shot off (friend had forgotten to hold him) and broke his reins clean off... pony cantering up and down the road, no-one could stop him. In the end I had to phone the owners to send their gardener to help us. One very shameful walk home!
Even worse was that after that the pony jumped out of it;s field to go and see it;s new friends at least once a week... I outgrew him in the end and he was sent to a RS (because of his escaping habits) but to this day I am certain that the owners regretted ever having let me have that pony.
The other one was when my son dropped his stretch armstrong toy in the shetland's paddock. the shetland was in a 'piggy paddock' of just dust and old hay and obviously thought this green toy was some kind of freak apple, for quicker than son could bend down to pick the toy up shetland had whipped his head down and eaten it whole. There was me panicking, son in tears and OH standing with shetland in a headlock trying to shove his arm down it;s throat to retrieve the toy. Pony regurgiated the toy minutes later, and we laugh about it now but at the time it was quite scary.
JACQSZOO
Well-Known Member
On a local fun ride with my dear old lunatic mare, knew the area very well. About half way round I really really really needed to have a pee pee stop! Went off course a bit to a nice quiet secluded area. Jods round ankles, holding darling mare with one hand and she spots a load of fun riders and decides I've had long enough and off she goes. Picture me, jods round ankles, mare dragging me across a stubble field in full view of all and sundry. I was the talk of the day. Needless to say my so called friends didnt try and help!
happyhack
Well-Known Member
These stories are all excellent!!!
I think my funniest one was about a year ago, 3 of us decided to go out for a gentle stroll on a sunday morning, nothing more than walking...all 3 horses had different ideas!!
My friends chestnut mare was more interested in running sideways into trees, my other friends black shire x was intent on running backwards and Bondi was just peeing off with me forwards as fast he could go.
We must have looked hilarious!!!
I think my funniest one was about a year ago, 3 of us decided to go out for a gentle stroll on a sunday morning, nothing more than walking...all 3 horses had different ideas!!
My friends chestnut mare was more interested in running sideways into trees, my other friends black shire x was intent on running backwards and Bondi was just peeing off with me forwards as fast he could go.
We must have looked hilarious!!!
Janesomerset
Well-Known Member
These stories are all so funny! One of my most embarrassing moments, which always seem funnier afterwards, was when I rode my big cob through the town just before Easter one year. Being a seaside town, the tourist season was just kicking off, the sun was shining gloriously, and there was quite a bit of traffic. We had to wait to turn left out of a junction. There was a car alongside us waiting to turn right. All my attention was on the traffic. Cobby's attention was on something else entirely. Suddenly, his head whipped to the right and there was a squeal from the passenger seat of the car alongside. The lady sitting in it HAD been enjoying a nice hot cross bun fresh from the bakery. Cobby (not his real name; I don't think I dare name-and-shame) had shot his head through the open window, and all she had left were two currants in her lap.
Durhamchance
Well-Known Member
PMSL!!!
miss_c
Well-Known Member
HAHA! That's GREAT Janesomerset!
Hippona
Well-Known Member
[ QUOTE ]
On a local fun ride with my dear old lunatic mare, knew the area very well. About half way round I really really really needed to have a pee pee stop! Went off course a bit to a nice quiet secluded area. Jods round ankles, holding darling mare with one hand and she spots a load of fun riders and decides I've had long enough and off she goes. Picture me, jods round ankles, mare dragging me across a stubble field in full view of all and sundry. I was the talk of the day. Needless to say my so called friends didnt try and help!
[/ QUOTE ]
PMSL...that has SO cheered me up today...
On a local fun ride with my dear old lunatic mare, knew the area very well. About half way round I really really really needed to have a pee pee stop! Went off course a bit to a nice quiet secluded area. Jods round ankles, holding darling mare with one hand and she spots a load of fun riders and decides I've had long enough and off she goes. Picture me, jods round ankles, mare dragging me across a stubble field in full view of all and sundry. I was the talk of the day. Needless to say my so called friends didnt try and help!
[/ QUOTE ]
PMSL...that has SO cheered me up today...