Getting back into competing with baby

[stencilface]

As title really. I've left my 3 month old twice in the last week to get out for a half hour hack, and just wonder how others cope with the logistics of bfing a baby and getting back into competing.

I have support from family and the oh, but the oh isn't horsey and not the type to want to spend his weekends watching me all the time. Family are horsey though!

Horse has had five months off and is now totally sound being barefoot in walk, trot and canter (finally! Last time I rode him he wasn't sound in shoes!) how long do you think it will be before I an jump, how long do others spend getting horses fit, he is in at night but had 24/7 turnout up until November.

 

[ClobellsandBaubles]

Hot2trot (I think) - maternaventing on e-venting

 

[Farma]

Hot2trot (I think) - maternaventing on e-venting

I was going to suggest this too!

 

[TGM]

A lot depends on what level you want to compete at and what facilities you have (ie school with lights). Plus hours that Hubby works and whether you have friends/family nearby who will babysit whilst you work horse. At 3 months you should be able to leave baby long enough between breast feeds to ride or lunge your horse if you have someone to babysit for you.

 

[Llanali]

As you know, Mia was born the day after P. I've been out jumping 5 times, and dressage twice. I requested appropriate dressage times around feeding and they were very kind! Jumping, well, a ten min warm up and two mins in the ring means I'm not unavailable too long! My baby is bottle fed, but often expressed milk, so I would go down that route potentially I think, or have a bottle as back up? Your supply should be established enough for that now, and I would think she is old enough to be past the point of confusion? Either way, even if she takes direct from source as long as you are organised you won't be out of action for long I don't think
Mia course walks with me in her ring sling- do you have a sling? A godsend I find, then either hubby or a friend if hubby doesn't come watches or holds her whilst I'm in the ring.

I think eventing might be trickier but it's fantastic to get back out there!! Really brilliant. Shame you aren't closer we could have done baby buddying!

 

[Llanali]

I've just realised you also meant the at home bit! Sorry.
Do you have fields you can ride in for the fitness? I park Mia safely on the other side if the gate but hearing and touching distance Nd ride straight after her feeds at nap time likewise she sits in her seat on the bench by the school! It is do able but my tack and turnout has seriously suffered!!

 

[FigJam]

Congratulations! As someone in pretty much an identical situation (Mini FigJam now 3.5 months old), I'm keen to see what replies appear here. At the moment I'm finding regular riding tricky (although mostly weather related to be fair recently!) as I'm also still BF and trying to time that gap for riding between feeds is tricky when it's not really "set" guaranteed times. Although my parents moving down to be 15mins from me as of next month means I can be cheekier about roping my Mum into babysitting at randoms times I'm sure. At weekends when Mr FigJam is home I tend to feed then scoot up to yard where I have time to muck out and ride, then get back before Mini FigJam next demanding food.

I did similar the other weekend when going out to my RC Christmas party- fed, then went to yard to sort horse, took to event (only 10 mins from both yard and my house) where Mr FigJam and Mini FigJam met me, I was then able to feed before getting on board to compete. That "bought" me enough time to ride then put horse away before next feed. We all had a fun morning!

Mini FigJam can be a little monkey about taking expressed milk from a bottle (it's hit or miss whether she will or won't oblige) so although missing a feed or having it delayed won't be the end of the world, it would lead to potentially a screamy hour or two for her minder which means at the moment I'm finding it easier to just make sure I can be around every 3-4 hours.

I'm hoping to get out in the spring for some HTs etc and will likely do similar (eg drag Mr and Mini FigJam along and do feeds before/after riding as required!) for those. (PS- I've found a tight-fitting sports bra on top of nursing bra good for making sure bouncing isn't uncomfy! )

As for fittening, 5 months off is a decent length of time, so would do a good few weeks building up walk/trot work gradually (good for both you and him!), prob 4-6 weeks? Then introduce canter/pole work and see how he's feeling? Mine has been kept ticking over a little, but is nowhere near proper fit. She is older and only going to be a happy hacker and out for the odd hoon round a small HT or RC SJ type thing though, not anything fancy.

Good luck and enjoy getting back out and about again.

 

[Firewell]

I am amazingly lucky as OH is at home otherwise not sure how I would have managed.
I basically fed baby and then ran out of the door to go to the yard knowing I had 3 hours before I had to be home for the next feed. That was when he was a few weeks old. Once he was a bit older 2 months then I could leave an expressed emergency bottle in the fridge for OH.
To compete I basically left baby at home with OH, expressed bottles and left them in the fridge and pumped at the show. I also only entered1 class as I didnt want to be all day as not fair on OH.
Now babys older he's going a bit longer before feeds and OH can give him a solid meal if he gets hungry. I'm going to start weaning him over the next few months as he's coming up 7 months now.
Also now he's older and more robust I'm happy for him to be outside at the yard whereas before he was so tiny and vulnerable looking I wanted him at home and safe.
I am doing a 3 day event end of feb, he'llbe getting on 9 months tthen and we are all going and will camp lol. That should be fun!

 

[Firewell]

Missed the fitness bit. 6 weeks?! Starting with walk and building up slowly.... Should be fine I think. That's what I normally do .

 

[stencilface]

Lots of helpful replies, thankyou! Due to horse barefoot acclimatisation and me being out of action with back problems for 8 weeks post birth I'm only just starting to feel fit enough to ride again, so feel very out of practise with everything! I couldn't remember the who it was with the eventing with baby reports, despite seeing her trotting round at Aston this year

TGM -i have no facilities bar a sloping field, the flatter sections of which are currently pretty boggy so no field 'schooling' til march at the earliest really. I have my mum nearby so can rope her into babysitting midweek, but feel happier about doing this with then at the stables so I'm closer to hand iykwim. There is a school within a five min hack away, which again would be doable with mothers help on a nice day. Hubby works long and sometimes unpredictable hours, plus plays squash, I also feel guilty eating away too much of his weekend time as he gets so little in the week, although I need to start looking at this as quality time for him and mini sf don't I? Hopefully it will become easier with 24/7 turnout in spring.

Llanali, you are streets ahead of me! I do have a sling, but how do you get your baby to competitions, our horsebox has no seat belts, and I've no idea of the legalities of travelling babies in them!! I do have a sling, which I often have to muck out in if she's not asleep in the car and I can't convince her that the haybar (full up with a rug on top) is a cosy place to be, I worry about her face being bit close to all the muck and ammonia....

FJ - mini SF is also hit and miss with a bottle, and the oh has only really succeeded once, maybe something I need to get to grips with in the new year. I also really struggle to get on with expressing (as in I hate it and often feel like I should just go to the dairy farm down the road and use their facilities) hoping things might get easier for me when she can move onto food. Very cute pictures of mini FJ by the way! I've sat her on my horse, but she was asleep . Your fitness plan gives me hope, means I might be able to start some RC lessons in February perhaps, I'm in dire need of some!

FW - I think the cold and her relative dinkiness has made me not want to have her standing around outside for long periods, she has a cold ATM (who knew someone so small could produce so many bogeys!) but generally she's a lot more robust now. I have a poor stock of two feeds in the freezer, but need to sort myself I to more of a routine I think so I can express and leave the oh with one a day at the weekend. I think I will be trying to start weaning earlier too. We are currently about 2.5 - 3 hours between feeds, but more often ATM as she's poorly.

Thanks again everyone, must get cracking!

 

[Booboos]

Things do get better as the baby grows up. At a similar age I had a lot of trouble even finding time to ride in the school because MiniBoo would not take a bottle at all, she would feed every 1.5-2 hours and she would only stay with her dad for about 30minutes before wailing! However, by about 6 to 9 months they have started to eat solids so there are more options and they are a little bit more willing to play or be entertained so things do get better!

I think it's also helpful to negotiate with your OH about what happens at the weekends. OK it's his time off work but it's your time off work as well (looking after the baby) and he needs and wants to spend time with his child. We tend to split the days in 2-3 parts and then do some things together as a family but also take it in turns to have MiniBoo so the other person has a proper break.

 

[stencilface]

Thanks, I am hoping by 6 months (spring, yippee!) she and I will be happy to see her left with grandparents for short periods, certainly will be easier once she starts moving onto solids.

I don't think my oh has any resentment over me riding at the weekends, its my own feelings of guilt that do this! My oh is aware that I've essentially had three years with a lame horse and I'm desperate to get riding again. Just need to feel less guilty

 

[Booboos]

Oh I see! Of course you should not feel guilty! It's really important to have a bit of time to yourself otherwise it gets very difficult in the long run. MiniBoo was and to an extent continues to be a poor sleeper and being 'on' 24/7 can drive your crazy. You certainly deserve to have some fun!

 

[Firewell]

Definitely don't feel guilty about leaving her for a short time with OH. She's probably so used to having her beloved mama with her that she might be a little cranky. However it will do OH and her so much good to have bonding time together without you there. He will figure out his own ways of comforting her and feeding her and it will make him feel wanted by her and important to her. Especially as he does work long hours away from her, I bet he will love the time with his little girl.
Also it's so important for a mum to havetime to herself. You go an indulge yourself with a couple hours of horse time and you will come back so happy as well.
I know about the pumping bit. I was fine in the early days doing it as I was so desperate to have a tiny bit of freedom. For some reason I was just extremely lucky with Billy taking the bottle, he didn't mind at all and it was wonderful for OH to share in the feeding of him.
Now I hate pumping. Never enough comes out and Billy is so big now I know he gets more out himself. Now he sleeps through the night and my yard is 10 mins away so I can easily ride and faff and be back by the next feed I don't bother with bottles anymore.
However I'm pretty much done with BF. He is coming up 7 months and I cannot bear the thought of coming this far and putting him on formula so I carry on..
He feeds 5-6 times a day BF and has 2 token small meals a day of a couple of tablespoons of pureed fruit or veg.
From 7 months he can have a sippy cup apparently so the plan is to get the dreaded pump out and start switching milk from the boob to the cup to help him start weaning. He's getting tiny teeth starting to poke out and he nipped me this morning and inside I feel it's time to start thinking of stopping. Problem is milk is the main source of food untill they are one so I have potentially another 5 months of pumping. Horrendous. I might gradually slow the milk down so he's having mainly solids by 9 months with 2 or 3 milk feedings. Is that bad?! I don't know.
Sorry I digress with my BF woes!
Yes get out there and enjoy the horse! X

 

[stencilface]

I'm with you on the bf woes, despite being 4 months behind you! I'm hoping to start weaning come 5.5 months as she has a nursery place in may when she'll be 7 months so need to prep for that and I can't face having to express enough to see her all day at nursery! I also want to dodge the the whole formula/follow on milk if at al possible!

Anyone know anything about taking car seats in horse boxes?!

 

[Llanali]

Ah, my horsebox has seat belts..... I would Imagine that is compulsory, but you could have one retrospectively fitted? andromeda LOVES the lorry- nice vibrations and white noise LOL straight to sleep! Which is good as she has a decent nap then watches me tack up as I'm often on my own, until the point I actually get on when I give her to a friend or a show steward I know well!

Someone on here has had a seatbelt fitted to their lorry for their baby..... magic Melon maybe? hmm, I'll remember shortly. They had it put in the living, whereas Mia comes in the cab with me so I can chat to her!!

I'm feeling guilty now, you lot keeping your tiny babies wrapped up I had Mia at the yard on day two, and then when husband went back to work after a fortnight she has pretty much come to the yard twice a day every day..... I park her out of the wind, I invested in fabulous snowsuits, and she can sit in the car with the windows open if it's awful whilst I ride... I now feel very careless LOL

Oh, and snap with the cold, Mia just getting over her first one now! Saline spray and raised cot for the win!!

 

[Llanali]

Oh and BTW, when she goes to nursery, it is entirely possible your supply will adjust so she feeds in the morning and evening only, it's quite common for babies to just catch up when their mummies get home at that age, but obviously only if you want to/aren't ready for cows milk at that point.

You can tell I spent hours with the La Leche League trying to make BF work LOL, still gutted it didn't!!

 

[Llanali]

And no FW, that's not bad! You could night wean by that, or restrict to say a morning and an evening feed follow on milk is largely unnecessary, cows milk is fine once they are 1 of course, but you can mix their food with full fat cows milk from 6 months if you want to get their intake up, but it's not suitable as a drink until 1.

 

[stencilface]

I love my saline spray!

Luckily I only go down once a day most of the time, sharing duties with my sister. I could go down twice, but timing to do stuff at the same time as others in the evening is harder with feeding etc. and you're not mean, I would be ahead if I hadn't had to take it easy with a knackered back for 8 weeks! She's been on at least one dog walk a day since day 0 so I certainly don't always give her an easy ride Penny seems to cry if awake in the car seat while not moving, riding not an option for me ATM unless someone can look after her due to facilities.

I didn't realise you could have then in the front seat, retrofitting a seat belt is definitely doable, then I can talk to her. I remember driving the lorry when pregnant and she always had a good kick, hopefully it will send her to sleep though! That would mean I could get to lessons too (competing is a far off dream with my horse it seems for me!)

Thanks for the info on feeding, thinking about it as nursery is only two days a week I could probably express a bottle a day for that if needed and just feed her myself the rest of the time

 

[HotToTrot]

Hello! Congrats on your baby. I started riding again when Rosie was three weeks old, and she is now ten months!

I rarely have anyone to look after her whilst i ride, so she comes with me. I ride during her nap time, and i leave her in the buggy in the corner of the school. I'd advise using a snoozeshade to make the pram dark. I think she finds it easier to sleep with one on. She has two naps a day, so I arrive at the yard before nap time, put her in the pram to sleep, and get on the horse. If she doesn't want to sleep, i will rock the pram for a bit, or feed her. Sometimes she is happy to sit quietly and watch me ride.... And sometimes I just let her squeak for a bit. I think that they need some time on their own, and they also need naps, so I use her nap to my advantage!

Competing. What are you into? I event and luckily, my husband is happy to come with me. However, I have also roped friends in. They don't need to be horsey, they just need to be able to hold the baby! Ask people. You will be amazed at how many people will help. I once went showjumping and left her with the show secretary.

When I have lessons, my trainers look after her whilst they teach me, so that's easy!

Build in lots of extra time! You will have nappy situations and you will have to spend time settling him and feeding him.

 

[Llanali]

Oh good I was beginning to feel very harsh!! I hve to say, I didn't check te legalities? A car seat and seat belt and I just assumed it was fine, but I did get pulled at a random traffic check on the way to BS last week, and the police man didn't say anything apart from how comfy she looked LOL

HHT- I do the same, get to te yard for feed time, give horse hay and feed baby whilst horse eats, then ride horse whilst baby has post feed snooze! We have a raised seating thing at the side if the arena, so if she grizzles I can lean over Whilst on board and rock the seat with the end of my schooling whip.....

And yep, I left Mia in he judges box to walk the second course last week :0

 

[HammieHamlet]

Thanks for a great thread! I have a 2 month old and have the aim of getting back to eventing by April/ May if I can get myself and the horse fit (he's been off work since April).

So far I've managed to ride most days over the past month but for only 15/20 mins each time as I'm slowly bringing him back after injury. I've only been able to do this by relying on friends /family at the yard to watch him (hopefully sleeping) in the car or pram. I try to load him up with feed before we go out then go for a long drive (despite only being a minute from the stables) to get him to sleep. I then literally run to get muddy horse from field - sling muddy tack on muddy horse, jump on wearing leggings and dunlop wellies (I cant fit in any of my horsey clothes or boots then sling horse straight back in field to get home to feed again.

I now need to start increasing my rides but think its going to be a struggle as baby seems to always be hungry (still feeding every 1.5hrs) and I haven't mastered the whole expressed milk thing yet nor had time to do it.

I'm reluctantly considering the formula route as i feel like I'm never going to have time to do anything...like have a much needed lesson with instructor?! But then again I feel totally selfish writing that so probably won't.

Its great to hear how others manage to do things as some days I feel like giving
up the thought of eventing

 

[HotToTrot]

HH - can you try getting him to go to sleep just before you get on? I tack up and get ready with baby awake, then put her to sleep at the last minute. Then I can ride for longer before she wakes up! Mine went through several phases of feeding nonstop and some days I spent about three hours in the school with the horse and the baby and I only rode for 15 mins…..

You could try getting your instructor just to hold him whilst they teach you. That may be enough to settle her. Do not give up! Do not!!

Llanali, I love that you can rock the pram from the horse!

 

[stencilface]

All you jammy ******* with schools! Lol

My plan for the summer is to ride in the field and either leave her in the car/pushchair or if she's awake suspend abany bouncy thing in the hay store doorway and let her enjoy it

I get to the stables which are a mile away at about 8.30. I try to feed her at 7.30, and then go. I can then muck out and lay down and get a 30min hack in if i put my mum in charge of the pushchair, luckily we have a long gravelley track which is good and bumpy for pushchair snnozes! I'm hoping a routine will materlialise without me thinking too much! I haven't done much competing in years due to lameness but did do RC eventing and BS, which I hope to get back into. I'm in no rush to do that as my horse has had 5 months completely off, and before that he was on rehab walking and box/small paddock rest, so he's not hugely fit!

Maybe we need a hho mums cooperative to aid competing?'

 

[stencilface]

You're lucky HTT, I don't seem to be as good at 'putting her to sleep' lol

I think a dirty horsey pram is next on the list, something I can leave down the stables and I won't mind if it gets stinky and dirty

 

[Llanali]

Llanali, I love that you can rock the pram from the horse!

Absolutely the ultimate in improvisation! The fact that I do it with a schooling whip makes me giggle, and it's a good job my horse is good about. It! Though actually, she will gently rock the pram herself if I park it outside a stable, though obviously not without me being rut there just in case!!

All you jammy ******* with schools! Lol

My plan for the summer is to ride in the field and either leave her in the car/pushchair or if she's awake suspend abany bouncy thing in the hay store doorway and let her enjoy it

I get to the stables which are a mile away at about 8.30. I try to feed her at 7.30, and then go. I can then muck out and lay down and get a 30min hack in if i put my mum in charge of the pushchair, luckily we have a long gravelley track which is good and bumpy for pushchair snnozes! I'm hoping a routine will materlialise without me thinking too much! I haven't done much competing in years due to lameness but did do RC eventing and BS, which I hope to get back into. I'm in no rush to do that as my horse has had 5 months completely off, and before that he was on rehab walking and box/small paddock rest, so he's not hugely fit!

Maybe we need a hho mums cooperative to aid competing?'

I'd love a HHO Mounted Mummies collective!
I pushed for a bit of a routine to be honest, I feed her when she wakes around 6.30am, then she snoozes till 7.30 whilst I shower and dress. Then we walk the dogs around 8/8.30am and go to the yard for 9.30 ISH. I then muck out quick, then she has her 10am feed (or I feed first if she wants it!) then she has a bit of awake time whilst I tack up and groom etc. the it's nap time, so park baby, get on horse and either let her settle if she's happy, or rock her with said whip over the fence LOL
then it's home, jobs etc, 1pm feed, then everything else in the day, 4pm feed, back to the yard, do horses as we feed at 6pm, then home and a dog walk, then feed baby- or feed baby then walk dogs !!!, then it's sit down time, and baby has a bath and bed and final feed around 8pm. Timings clearly very approximate, and she gets fed on demand so she gets priority!

Thanks for a great thread! I have a 2 month old and have the aim of getting back to eventing by April/ May if I can get myself and the horse fit (he's been off work since April).

So far I've managed to ride most days over the past month but for only 15/20 mins each time as I'm slowly bringing him back after injury. I've only been able to do this by relying on friends /family at the yard to watch him (hopefully sleeping) in the car or pram. I try to load him up with feed before we go out then go for a long drive (despite only being a minute from the stables) to get him to sleep. I then literally run to get muddy horse from field - sling muddy tack on muddy horse, jump on wearing leggings and dunlop wellies (I cant fit in any of my horsey clothes or boots then sling horse straight back in field to get home to feed again.

I now need to start increasing my rides but think its going to be a struggle as baby seems to always be hungry (still feeding every 1.5hrs) and I haven't mastered the whole expressed milk thing yet nor had time to do it.

I'm reluctantly considering the formula route as i feel like I'm never going to have time to do anything...like have a much needed lesson with instructor?! But then again I feel totally selfish writing that so probably won't.

Its great to hear how others manage to do things as some days I feel like giving
up the thought of eventing

In your shoes, I think I'd consider one bottle of formula- perhaps her evening feed before bed, then you can express at that time (perhaps not simultaneously until you are practised LOL) so you build up a stock and always have one feed in the freezer if you see what I mean. I agree with getting tacked up and ready to go, then putting baby down too.

You're lucky HTT, I don't seem to be as good at 'putting her to sleep' lol

I think a dirty horsey pram is next on the list, something I can leave down the stables and I won't mind if it gets stinky and dirty

This is essential! How have you managed so long without LOL I have an old mothercare urban detour which lives at the yard, it's mega and suitable from birth as lies flat. It was £40 off eBay including a car seat, but I don't use it as I don't know if it's safe as its old and second hand. Cosy toes etc all included!

I also have a Jane 360 cross country one that lives put up in the garage for dog walking when I don't wear her in the sling! That was £32 off eBay, and then I have a nice pram for shopping! That a Mamas and Papas Zoom; it seems excessive but I use all of them!

 

[Llanali]

Oh and the school five mins hack away?! I'd lead the horse there, and push the pram at the same time....or drop the pram off and wear the baby there? I competed at a venue which is fortunately ten mins walk away a few weeks ago, and I wheeled Mia there...but the roads are quiet and my horse is tolerant!

 

[stencilface]

Hmm, yes that would be possible if I could drop manky stable pram off at arena, I will tell the oh of your 3 prams, he thinks I'm being extravagant wanting one for the stables. I don't quite trust the horse and pram combo as I have to do 50m on a fast busy country road and you know that's the time that the horse will chose to dick around!

Our routine differs at weekends and in the week which is where issues arise I guess. I'm aiming for a 7-7.30 ish feed (oh walks the dog ATM) then down the stables. Then an 11am feed, then 2, the five, then 8pm. I try to put her down after this feed, but she's having none of it. Then a top up feed at 10pm (currently multitasking ) then we all go to bed. I know the routine will change as she feeds less as she gets older, so nothing is set in stone!

 

[Llanali]

Hmm, yes that would be possible if I could drop manky stable pram off at arena, I will tell the oh of your 3 prams, he thinks I'm being extravagant wanting one for the stables. I don't quite trust the horse and pram combo as I have to do 50m on a fast busy country road and you know that's the time that the horse will chose to dick around!

Our routine differs at weekends and in the week which is where issues arise I guess. I'm aiming for a 7-7.30 ish feed (oh walks the dog ATM) then down the stables. Then an 11am feed, then 2, the five, then 8pm. I try to put her down after this feed, but she's having none of it. Then a top up feed at 10pm (currently multitasking ) then we all go to bed. I know the routine will change as she feeds less as she gets older, so nothing is set in stone!

I completely understand/ a busy road is quite different! I think OH would be hacked off if the three prams hadn't cost £120 in total but my bargain hunting seems to have paid off!

I think the lack of set in stone is absolutely right! I would get stressed if I thought I had to stick to it! Some nights we go out, so she skips bath and goes to bed late. I am aiming for a Pavlov dog scenario with her music and light box !!

Now, watch this disappear when we fly to Malaysia for three weeks next week..... :0

 

[stencilface]

I completely understand/ a busy road is quite different! I think OH would be hacked off if the three prams hadn't cost £120 in total but my bargain hunting seems to have paid off!

I think the lack of set in stone is absolutely right! I would get stressed if I thought I had to stick to it! Some nights we go out, so she skips bath and goes to bed late. I am aiming for a Pavlov dog scenario with her music and light box !!

Now, watch this disappear when we fly to Malaysia for three weeks next week..... :0

Well the Pavlov scenario is what I'm hoping for, babies are just like dogs right?! Tonight she probably be up late, although she'll be asleep, just not in her bed!

I am so jealous of your Malaysia trip you can't imagine, we have potentially 3 trips planned next year (ones a conference that will be made into a holiday) but nothing booked and they're too far away to be excited about.

Now to use the ohs eBay account for pram shopping....