Getting motivated...

[palo1]

I just wanted to say thank you to this bit of the forum really...I have been really struggling to get motivated or to see light at the end of the training tunnel recently. It's just that events and life overtook me for a while; on-going worries about Alw's respiratory health, family stuff including putting our house up for sale and planning for a big change, the utter absence of money to play with (or confidence to do that really) and general 'What is the point?' malaise. I won't be able to compete, possibly for years and, well, I had plans.
It has been difficult to see past that for a bit. I have found it painful to read this section of the forum as whilst it is brilliant to hear of people having fun or exchanging ideas and experiences I have been sulking in the shadows!! This week though I have grasped my mental state firmly by the hand and have resumed our flatwork training. I have a lovely field to work in, as well as when out and about and it given me a boost to get back to trying to improve M Alw's way of going and my communication strategies in equal measure!! Mostly we have just been doing suppling and straightening work but today I asked a little bit more and found that we still have fully installed leg yields on both reins in walk and trot, we have a rather rough and ready shoulder in on both reins (so good work to be done on improving that) and we had a cheeky flying change moment; not entirely scheduled but not entirely unscheduled either... I was using a figure of 8 as the set up to ask for a change (counter canter if not lol) and madam decided a bit wickedly to offer a change of direction and flying change as part of that offer. Happy to take that though not quite as planned lol!! 10/10 for enthusiasm at least... Alw feels keen and strong and there is much work to be done but it is lovely to have that little powerhouse enjoying her lessons. I know that on my own it is going to be very difficult to achieve really correct work but I can play with the basics and perhaps, before too long I can have some coaching. It feels daunting on your own but I have got ideas about how to assess what we are doing and I guess as long as we are having fun it will be ok! It is all rather very wild and woolly in comparison to what I had hoped to be doing BUT, BUT the sense of enjoyment, intention and development of the partnership are the things that have come through this rather difficult time for me. Thanks for the motivation, ideas and inspiration HHO

 

[oldie48]

I find there's nothing quite like a flying change (intended or not) to give me a good kick up the ?????. So pleased you are feeling more positive and motivated. I think the last year or so has been difficult for many of us for a variety of reasons but sometimes you just have to wait it out until things start to feel better. I also get a lot of this forum (mostly!!)

edit as got sent too soon!

 

[milliepops]

good to hear you sounding a bit more positive, palo, i hope you and Alw can have some good sessions together while you rebuild your mojo. it's no wonder you'd lost it a bit.
can totally relate to finding it all a bit raw reading about other people's adventures, when i stopped eventing i also went cold turkey on HHO for exactly that reason. I came to enjoy playing about at home and I think I learned a lot about feel and developing stuff independently during that time, so it ended up being a positive experience (i do totally live for my lessons tho so i know how hard it is to know there is nothing on the horizon).

 

[palo1]

good to hear you sounding a bit more positive, palo, i hope you and Alw can have some good sessions together while you rebuild your mojo. it's no wonder you'd lost it a bit.
can totally relate to finding it all a bit raw reading about other people's adventures, when i stopped eventing i also went cold turkey on HHO for exactly that reason. I came to enjoy playing about at home and I think I learned a lot about feel and developing stuff independently during that time, so it ended up being a positive experience (i do totally live for my lessons tho so i know how hard it is to know there is nothing on the horizon).

Yeah, whatever happens over the next ??? however long I hope that I can get plenty of horsemanship stuff out of it as well as enjoy my sweet, brave, clever mare. She doesn't understand my disappointment or concerns about any number of possible futures so the thing to do is to enjoy her in every way I can and to engage my own self in that too. It feels a hard won lesson even now tbh but I am ever the optimist and am wearing sunny specs again lol!! It is very hard not to tip into negativity and despair when plans go out of the window but that doesn't help at all so I am on the side of the rose tint again thankfully!! I think I am at peace with the now that I have with Alw and who knows what might be possible in time.