Getting over the fact he's not 'that' horse anymore!

[Char0901]

My lovely homebred is now 5 years old and is seemingly starting to really mature mentally.
It's finally like having a 'normal' horse. I don't check the yard car park before getting him out because I might decide it's too busy, yard staff can turn him out in a normal head collar without having to suit up in virtual body armour first!
He used to be really reactive about everything. So much so, he couldn't handle simply being led past another horse, he'd get completely over excited, lose his head and start leaping around. He was so highly strung, he was almost dangerous. He was never malicious and nothing was every directed at whoever was handling him, he'd just lose his head and would be over come with excitement (probably a big dose of anxiety in there too!) Once this had happened there was no getting over it. Once he'd lost his head, there was virtually nothing that could get his attention back.

We moved yards a year ago and he's a different horse. He is still very spirited and has a zest for life, but it's now in a lovely way - he's a happy horse who's enjoying life. This, along with him obviously getting older has made a massive difference.

The trouble is I'm struggling to get past what he used to be like. On the ground I trust him, stuff still excites him but nothing more so than any other horse really. Ridden, he's a gem... But, I avoid riding with others. He's only been ridden in the arena with others a hand full of times and that's usually when I've finished and we're cooling off. I HATE hacking, I feel like I'm completely at the mercy of drivers on the road, but the few very short pootles we've been on he LOVES! I may have the only horse on the planet who naps to stay out and doesn't want to walk home! He's only ever travelled for our yard move, we've practised loading a few times but I'm scared of closing that box up in case he panics and hurts himself. Obviously, all of the above means he's never been to a competition. With previous horses I was out competing at least once a week, for me that's why I've always had horses.

It's got to the point now, where I see I have a lovely, talented horse who could have a very successful career. I know that I am capable but I can't seem to forget or move past what he used to be like in certain situations. I know I'll never know until I do it, but I just don't know how to get over the horse he used to be (granted that was when he was 2/3 years old!)

I want to be out and about, enjoying and appreciating my horse. Does anyone have any advise on how to get over this? My big girl, brave pants never seem to be big enough, or brave enough!

 

[Cortez]

Get a pro trainer to take him out and about a bit?

 

[Myloubylou]

I had good success with NLP for confidence jumping. I am the most sceptical of people & thought the process was slightly ludicrous but the brain is a weird thing. Next time jumped no churning feeling & although still get times I don’t like look of a jump I can give it a go.

 

[milliepops]

how about doing some group lessons with a trainer you trust? I did this with my project WB, she can be a right monkey at times and especially in company. Having someone tell me to do something specific at a specific time made me get on with it a bit. I wasn't going for the instruction, so much as the gentle kick up the bum. It would also be a good preparation for competition warm ups, and get you travelling but in a no pressure way.

 

[Char0901]

Get a pro trainer to take him out and about a bit?

I've considered this and I will go down that path if I find I just can't bring myself to do it - just seems a shame considering I bred him, backed him myself, done virtually everything... Just can't get past this last 'first' if that makes sense. Definitely being considered though!

I had good success with NLP for confidence jumping. I am the most sceptical of people & thought the process was slightly ludicrous but the brain is a weird thing. Next time jumped no churning feeling & although still get times I don’t like look of a jump I can give it a go.

Thank you, I'll certainly look into this. I think the issues are definitely in my brain! I think a change of mind set would help massively.

how about doing some group lessons with a trainer you trust? I did this with my project WB, she can be a right monkey at times and especially in company. Having someone tell me to do something specific at a specific time made me get on with it a bit. I wasn't going for the instruction, so much as the gentle kick up the bum. It would also be a good preparation for competition warm ups, and get you travelling but in a no pressure way.

This is a really good idea! Agree it's not so much for the instruction but more so having someone on the ground telling me what to do and when would help I think.

Thanks all for taking the time to offer your advice.

 

[Annagain]

Is there one sensible fellow livery with a calm horse you could go for a hack with? It’s surprising how some company can make you feel more confident out hacking.

My horse is that confidence giving wingman at home and at riding club and it’s amazing to see how many take confidence from him just walking along side them and not reacting to anything they do or anything around him.

If you do go to a group lesson as Millipops suggests, ask for a babysitter. Every 4 year old in their first group lesson gets put in with us and follow us round for the first 5 minutes. We don’t mind in the slightest, we’ve all been there and need a helping hand now and again. (Well except my boy, he was born 20!)

 

[DabDab]

Agree with above - clinics where two or three people are in together, boxing out to hack or arena hire at different places that are more or less busy, joining a riding club might give you access to classes that would suit you needs.

It's hard not to get your head stuck in where a horse once was, but personally I find the best way to get over it is to pick an activity that the horse used to be very difficult/unreliable with and then do it every day (or every week if it's something like going out) for a set period of time until your brain has completely adjusted and it doesn't even occur to you anymore that they might not be fine.

He sounds like a really nice type of horse though

 

[JanetGeorge]

I think that first you have to THINK about WHY he was like this as a 2-3 yo - and then understand what has created the change. Once it makes sense to you, then you will be more confident that he HAS changed and will be good. You bred him yourself - was he reared in a herd situation (several mares and foals out together) or just with his Mum? How did he live as a weanling? All these things have an effect. I breed - never less than 6 mares and foals together - and weanlings in groups of 3-5. When something goes 'wrong', it appears later. I had two that were orphaned at 8 weeks old - but not in the same year (which would have made it much easier). They had to come in and be hand-reared. When they were at proper weaning age, they went with other youngsters but never really joined in. Both were quiet enough when backed - but easily spooked when we started to introduce them to work in company. They were the only 2 - out of about 100 backed over 10 years - who had this problem so it was easy to understand why - and then to work on 'curing' the problem.

 

[tda]

Sounds like you are doing just fine so far 😁
What about practicing at home, get your stuff ready, load up, shut the ramp, drive out of the yard, turn round and come back, park up, get out, tack up, get on and ride . Start small in your comfort zone x

 

[scats]

I see you are north west based, you’re not near the wirral are you? A local centre here often does a clinic for young and nervous horses. They have about 4 other horses in it and they get the horses used to walking around with others, getting everyone relaxed before doing a bit of trot work etc. It’s aimed at green, young or nervous horses learning to be out and about and ridden with others.

 

[Brandylion]

Scats where is this clinic I would be interested in this ?

 

[scats]

I’ll PM you Brandy.

 

[Char0901]

Sounds like you are doing just fine so far 😁
What about practicing at home, get your stuff ready, load up, shut the ramp, drive out of the yard, turn round and come back, park up, get out, tack up, get on and ride . Start small in your comfort zone x

This is a fantasticly simple idea and something I feel comfortable doing pretty soon!
I'll do this a couple of times and then get an arena hired and we'll do exactly the same... Just at a new place.

Thanks for all your advice everyone. I've taken it on board and will be putting it all into practise.
I think it's good I'm starting to get itchy feet about getting out and about. It means it is something that I want to. Guess I just need that positive attitude and have a bit more faith in him. He's given me no reason to doubt him recently. He had his first clip yesterday with me just holding him, normal headcollar on, no dually, twitch or sedation in sight. He was absolutely perfect. A year ago that would have been literally impossible.

Thanks again, we got this! 👍

 

[Red-1]

If you would like a bit more boost, then try Jo Cooper, who works with NLP and TFT. She works with telephone appointments as well as in person, and has helped people on here, with good results.

http://www.equestrianconfidence.com/