Getting seriously fed up with being bitten now!!

There is some excellent advice on this thread which I won't repeat however, their is another aspect that I think OP needs to take on board.

Personally I prefer a mare although some can trickier than others. Not all mares will be a huge challenge but I've found with every mare I've ever owned that I've had to work hard to forge a partnership with them. By that I don't mean showering them with kisses and cuddles every day....we might enjoy that, but it isn't what a horse needs particularly and some downright hate it.

With this mare it sounds like OP is absolutely desperate to make the horse love her. Well...I don't believe that a horse can love a human. At the very best we can have a partnership and companionship with them and if you get that with a mare then you are lucky because once you have a mare on your side they will walk through fire for you. I don't believe that this horse likes, wants, needs or tolerates any kind of human idea of affection. She doesn't want that kind of partnership with a human, what she wants is consistent handling and a life where the rules are clear and everything is black and white. Really it's not that different to humans. Some of us are very clingy and need to be hugged and reassured by our fellow humans, while some of us are a bit stand-offish and prefer to be left alone. And sometimes we meet someone that we just don't get along with and no matter how hard we try to make friends, it doesn't work because the personalities are too different.

OP - I sense a real clash of personalities between you and this mare. You want to shower her with affection which she doesn't appreciate and she wants firm, consistent handling which you are unable to give her right now. You want to be her best mate while frankly she doesn't seem to enjoy your company. Sorry if that sounds harsh...it isn't necessarily that either of you is doing anything 'wrong' just that you don't get on, you clash and you want different things.

There are lots of horses out there that do enjoy human affection and interaction and I think you'd be a lot happier finding one that enjoys your company.
 
ester said:
Ellie I remember when you posted about how distraught you were when this horse was going to be going elsewhere and how much you loved her etc.

I think it is important to consider if you still feel the same 6 months down the line and if so whether that is a) clouding your judgement b) in some way making you keen that the horse loves you back/you have a bond?

Also I know you say you won't give up but I think you need to consider that if you are to make this work you need to be super consistent, is this going to be hampered by the owner/does she handle her to?

We own a mare that was essentially home bred and babied something ridiculous. She has never bitten but had little concept of personal space and would rear when led, she didn't keep it up long with a little direction. Sometimes she pushes things too far, she had incrementally started to consider kicking when belly brushing and mum had missed it until I pointed out it wouldn't be long before she got hurt and that she didn't used to behave like that. I put a hat on and told her once, sorted. Fwiw she is not dominant by nature but has sometimes found herself there then doesn't have a clue what she should be doing!
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I'm willing to be very consistent and going to learn to change myself as well. Luckily, it is just me that handles her so I don't have to worry about someone else causing us to backtrack. She will definitely test me though and it's going to take a lot of patience! I haven't quite decided, I know I love her but I just want us to work well together. Only time will tell.
 
southerncomfort said:
There is some excellent advice on this thread which I won't repeat however, their is another aspect that I think OP needs to take on board.

Personally I prefer a mare although some can trickier than others. Not all mares will be a huge challenge but I've found with every mare I've ever owned that I've had to work hard to forge a partnership with them. By that I don't mean showering them with kisses and cuddles every day....we might enjoy that, but it isn't what a horse needs particularly and some downright hate it.

With this mare it sounds like OP is absolutely desperate to make the horse love her. Well...I don't believe that a horse can love a human. At the very best we can have a partnership and companionship with them and if you get that with a mare then you are lucky because once you have a mare on your side they will walk through fire for you. I don't believe that this horse likes, wants, needs or tolerates any kind of human idea of affection. She doesn't want that kind of partnership with a human, what she wants is consistent handling and a life where the rules are clear and everything is black and white. Really it's not that different to humans. Some of us are very clingy and need to be hugged and reassured by our fellow humans, while some of us are a bit stand-offish and prefer to be left alone. And sometimes we meet someone that we just don't get along with and no matter how hard we try to make friends, it doesn't work because the personalities are too different.

OP - I sense a real clash of personalities between you and this mare. You want to shower her with affection which she doesn't appreciate and she wants firm, consistent handling which you are unable to give her right now. You want to be her best mate while frankly she doesn't seem to enjoy your company. Sorry if that sounds harsh...it isn't necessarily that either of you is doing anything 'wrong' just that you don't get on, you clash and you want different things.

There are lots of horses out there that do enjoy human affection and interaction and I think you'd be a lot happier finding one that enjoys your company.
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I've followed this thread with interest and I have to wholeheartedly agree with the above.

I don't buy into the it's cleary not pain posts, the OP has had the horse 6 months and just because her behaviour has not changed does not mean it is not pain. There is every possibility that this horse is just a spoilt homebred that has no boundaries, BUT before accepting that, if OP really wants to stick with the mare, then it would be foolish not to rule out the possibility of pain.

As the post I have quoted states, I fear there is too much of a personality clash for this to be a long term success. This is no dig at you OP! There are plenty of horses out there who are more than happy to have a human who kisses and cuddles them, but even with training this mare will never be one of them.

OP I feel for you, as you are clearly attached to this mare and are trying to take all said on this thread on board. But put your pride aside, owning/loaning a horse is expensive and time consuming but with the right partner it is so much fun! And I fear you are missing out on this vital element.
 
Apart from the ulcers issue (which I still think may be at the bottom of the mare's problems exascerbated by the early spoiling of her as a youngster), I just can't see why the OP is persevering with a horse that is so aggressive, when they obviously want a 'loving' natured horse. Personally, I can't be doing with any horse that is aggressive. If it was a share, then I'd just walk away.
 
Ellietotz said:
I'm willing to be very consistent and going to learn to change myself as well. Luckily, it is just me that handles her so I don't have to worry about someone else causing us to backtrack. She will definitely test me though and it's going to take a lot of patience! I haven't quite decided, I know I love her but I just want us to work well together. Only time will tell.
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You are not listening. It is very likely that you are going to get hurt. Worrying about backtracking? To where, precisely? Time will not tell you anything that you haven't already been told on this thread. Please LISTEN to people who are (probably) a lot older and more experienced with this sort of horse and situation.
 
Wagtail said:
Apart from the ulcers issue (which I still think may be at the bottom of the mare's problems exascerbated by the early spoiling of her as a youngster), I just can't see why the OP is persevering with a horse that is so aggressive, when they obviously want a 'loving' natured horse. Personally, I can't be doing with any horse that is aggressive. If it was a share, then I'd just walk away.
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OP is a child? There might not be available, affordable access to wider range of share horses?
 
Cortez said:
You are not listening. It is very likely that you are going to get hurt. Worrying about backtracking? To where, precisely? Time will not tell you anything that you haven't already been told on this thread. Please LISTEN to people who are (probably) a lot older and more experienced with this sort of horse and situation.
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Whilst I have given my advice on what to do with this mare if you decide to forge ahead - I agree with Cortez and stand by my initial post, this is not the mare for you and is beyond your skill set.

OP I also agree with whoever said that you seem desperate to have a mare that loves you. This is not that horse. This is a horse that will - regardless of if you iron out the bad, will always be independence of you, its not my little pony, there are some that you can fuss and pamper... this is not one of those horses.

Personally, for so many reasons, this is not the right horse for you. I can see only one reason for you staying on - and that is clear that you dearly care for this horse. Problem is, you have a horse that is dangerous - whatever its reasons, and these behaviours are ingrained, they are part of that horse - to change this pattern is a huge undertaking for a highly experienced competent rider/owner/handler - it takes time, patience, skill, blood, sweat and tears and a lot of money to rule out every possible physical cause. This is not knocking your good intentions OP, but so many very experienced people on here are saying good intentions are not, and never will be enough. Infact, the longer this goes on - the more it will reinforce the mare's behaviour. The owner has either created a monster or allowed monstrous behaviour to continue. The owner is happy for you to risk your wellbeing and spend your money on their horse, and to be fair - the vet sounds very unprofessional making a hash diagnosis/ruling out ulcers from a phone call. It is a recipe for disaster and the victim of the disaster will always be you.

I am not advocating at all that you buy the horse, but the only way I would be risking my life and spending my money on such a horse would be if it belonged to me. I have taken on a monster or two in the past and this has always been my standpoint.

You have no support from the owner, and quite frankly the owner should be shot for loaning out a horse like this to someone so totally incapable of handling it.

Please consider everything that has been said carefully on here OP, there are so many other wonderful horses out there, that you could enjoy and bond with.
 
wingedhorse said:
OP is a child? There might not be available, affordable access to wider range of share horses?
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It doesn't matter if the OP is nine or ninety. Lack of available horses isn't a reason to risk having your face bitten off by the only one on offer to you, when it also makes you miserable every time you are near it.
 
I have been following this thread with interest.

OP - I own a horse who was scheduled to be PTS as dangerous as a 4 year old. She had been hand reared from 6 weeks when they lost her dam and didn't learn the correct human vs horse behaviours. She absolutely knows I am not a horse, but doesn't appreciate that the biting, kicking type of behaviours she can do with her field mates are not acceptable to a 5'4" human.

It has been my job over the past 2 years to teach her what is and is not acceptable - and it is a work in progress. This horse will live out her years with me because I will not take the risk of passing her onto someone who doesn't enforce those boundaries and could get hurt. I have suffered bruises from bites and kicks when I let my guard down and one of the staff at the livery yard came close to being badly hurt when they were complacent and didn't follow instructions.

Firstly - the pain issue
  • THis horse had ulcers. She is a good doer and not your normal type but as soon as I said she had been hand-reared the vet said it was likely. The stress of premature weaning and the various moves, new owners etc were likely to have brought them on.
  • She also has PSSM. Her muscular pain no doubt adds another complication to her behaviour, but I faffed around her when she was first diagnosed and she took the 'p' - so now she still has to show basic manners even if she's feeling stiff. She can tell me she's hurting without removing chunks from me - but I have to make sure I listen.

Its worth saying that I didn't loose school this horse until 18 months after I'd had her. I just didn't trust her without the control of a lunge rope. I still don't turn my back on her when I'm poo picking the field and if she's eating then she is left well alone.

When she misbehaved she is corrected instantly (voice normally, although she's had a belt before with whatever I've had in my hand) and then left. If she then goes on to act nicely she gets a 'good girl'.

OP - I am in my 40s, I've dealt with challenging horses before and I've been hurt by them before. One of my oldest friends is a vet and her advice in the early days was not to get so fixated on sorting this horse that I let my pride rule and got badly hurt as a result. We can't fix all the damage humans cause sadly.
 
SEL said:
I have been following this thread with interest.

OP - I own a horse who was scheduled to be PTS as dangerous as a 4 year old. She had been hand reared from 6 weeks when they lost her dam and didn't learn the correct human vs horse behaviours. She absolutely knows I am not a horse, but doesn't appreciate that the biting, kicking type of behaviours she can do with her field mates are not acceptable to a 5'4" human.

It has been my job over the past 2 years to teach her what is and is not acceptable - and it is a work in progress. This horse will live out her years with me because I will not take the risk of passing her onto someone who doesn't enforce those boundaries and could get hurt. I have suffered bruises from bites and kicks when I let my guard down and one of the staff at the livery yard came close to being badly hurt when they were complacent and didn't follow instructions.

Firstly - the pain issue
  • THis horse had ulcers. She is a good doer and not your normal type but as soon as I said she had been hand-reared the vet said it was likely. The stress of premature weaning and the various moves, new owners etc were likely to have brought them on.
  • She also has PSSM. Her muscular pain no doubt adds another complication to her behaviour, but I faffed around her when she was first diagnosed and she took the 'p' - so now she still has to show basic manners even if she's feeling stiff. She can tell me she's hurting without removing chunks from me - but I have to make sure I listen.

Its worth saying that I didn't loose school this horse until 18 months after I'd had her. I just didn't trust her without the control of a lunge rope. I still don't turn my back on her when I'm poo picking the field and if she's eating then she is left well alone.

When she misbehaved she is corrected instantly (voice normally, although she's had a belt before with whatever I've had in my hand) and then left. If she then goes on to act nicely she gets a 'good girl'.

OP - I am in my 40s, I've dealt with challenging horses before and I've been hurt by them before. One of my oldest friends is a vet and her advice in the early days was not to get so fixated on sorting this horse that I let my pride rule and got badly hurt as a result. We can't fix all the damage humans cause sadly.
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Wise words.
 
SEL said:
OP - I am in my 40s, I've dealt with challenging horses before and I've been hurt by them before. One of my oldest friends is a vet and her advice in the early days was not to get so fixated on sorting this horse that I let my pride rule and got badly hurt as a result. We can't fix all the damage humans cause sadly.
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Very well said, I have wondered but not come up with the right way to put it whether part of ellie's want to carry on is to fix/save the horse given that it is an animal that no one has much bothered with in the past.
 
This mare sounds like a bored, miserable, mixed-up horse with limited social skills and possibly physical issues too. It seems she doesn't really know quite what to make of OP and sees her as a bit of a nuisance and someone to be pushed around.

This horse will never be 'loving' and friendly, so is this what you really want, OP? To put yourself at risk over a horse that is never going to be what you really want?

What are you hoping to achieve with this horse in the longer term?

I have a horse, I have had him since he was five and he was a seriously nasty piece of work back then. He would make your mare seem like a real sweetheart! I couldn't go anywhere near him with feed - he had his bucket chucked under the gate. He HATED being groomed and could kick me (and did - frequently!) even if I was standing by his shoulder, he also kicked when I tried to catch him (he was always caught eventually). He would barge, bite and body-slam anyone, my OH had his ear bitten because he walked past the stable. That was it - horse had his feed, so everyone can back right off! If he pulls faces, he means it, they are not idle threats.

Almost all of his attitude problems stem from inconsistent handling by previous owners, with the rest of his problems coming from an injury long since fixed.

It is nearly twenty years now (eep!) and I still have the miserable, old git. He has mellowed somewhat in his later years and we rub along ok - he's my mate now but I don't trust him any further than I could throw him and he will never be truly friendly. I spoil him rotten really, but there is a line and there are very definite consequences for crossing it!

I always wanted a cuddly horse, so I bought one of those as well - you can't change their basic nature after all.

So, OP whatdoyou really want? If this mare was lined up with the other horses you have known in your life, would you still pick her over any of them?
 
Beausmate said:
This mare sounds like a bored, miserable, mixed-up horse with limited social skills and possibly physical issues too. It seems she doesn't really know quite what to make of OP and sees her as a bit of a nuisance and someone to be pushed around.

This horse will never be 'loving' and friendly, so is this what you really want, OP? To put yourself at risk over a horse that is never going to be what you really want?

What are you hoping to achieve with this horse in the longer term?

I have a horse, I have had him since he was five and he was a seriously nasty piece of work back then. He would make your mare seem like a real sweetheart! I couldn't go anywhere near him with feed - he had his bucket chucked under the gate. He HATED being groomed and could kick me (and did - frequently!) even if I was standing by his shoulder, he also kicked when I tried to catch him (he was always caught eventually). He would barge, bite and body-slam anyone, my OH had his ear bitten because he walked past the stable. That was it - horse had his feed, so everyone can back right off! If he pulls faces, he means it, they are not idle threats.

Almost all of his attitude problems stem from inconsistent handling by previous owners, with the rest of his problems coming from an injury long since fixed.

It is nearly twenty years now (eep!) and I still have the miserable, old git. He has mellowed somewhat in his later years and we rub along ok - he's my mate now but I don't trust him any further than I could throw him and he will never be truly friendly. I spoil him rotten really, but there is a line and there are very definite consequences for crossing it!

I always wanted a cuddly horse, so I bought one of those as well - you can't change their basic nature after all.

So, OP whatdoyou really want? If this mare was lined up with the other horses you have known in your life, would you still pick her over any of them?
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Why did you stick with him if he was horrible? Everyone here is saying that leaving is the best thing to do but you stuck to yours for now 20 odd years so why? You knew you could get hurt and so did everyone else making the advice to walk away who decided to take on a badly raised horse. What made you do it if you had loads of better choices? I've had her for 6 months and I do still have fun, she does still make me happy, most of the time they are idle threats, it's very rare she actually opens her mouth and properly tries, she's never properly bitten down on me, only hit me with her teeth. Regardless if it's really aggressive or not, I still want to change this of course as I don't want it to happen at all but I do love her and want to work with her. Either that or she will probably get pts. She has some issues and I believe we can work them out, she has never done anything truly horrible to me and I probably let her anyway so I have myself to blame too. I don't think walking away is always the answer and it doesn't have to be. Like you said, you were getting hurt, most people who have replied have got hurt and no one walked away, they stuck with it. What's the difference now? I may get hurt but I may also get hurt when a great big soppy horse spooks and crushes me to death. We take the risk when we want to be around horses. Being hurt obviously is more likely with horses like mine but I've committed to that and giving up is exactly what she wants and I don't.
 
LadySam said:
Sorry fburton, I promise I'm not trying to single you out! But I couldn't let that one pass. NH isn't about getting your horse to view you as a horse - they must view you as a human and therefore the one always in charge, whoever the human may be. OP's mare viewing her as a horse IS a big part of the problem. It's simply supposed to facilitate a way of communicating in a way the horse understands so that you don't resort to tactics of extreme force, intimidation and fear in your training. My view of whether it's successful or not depends on whether it's handled sensitively and sensibly, and properly tempered with other, more conventional methods. IMHO, the Roberts and Parellis of the world have dressed up nuggets of good, old fashioned horsemanship in theatricality and illusion so they can look like magicians and build nice little empires built on expensive videos and stupid bloody sticks you buy for 50 quid. There's truth in there, but my god you have to sift through some crap to get to it!
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Sorry if I gave a misleading impression, LadySam. I wasn't saying that all (or even most) NH people buy into this idea, just that it's more prevalent in NH compared to "traditional/BHS" horsemanship (for example). Those who talk about leadership in terms of a how the supposed "herd leader" behaves and/or advise being the dominant one and using dominant body language are the ones who tend to advocate horse-emulating approaches and being part of "the herd".

For some examples, see:

http://www.horsechannel.com/horse-training/become-your-horses-herd-leader-through-groundwork.aspx

https://consideringthehorse.wordpress.com/2014/04/01/herd-dynamics-hierachy-and-behavior/

http://www.horses-and-ponies.com/horsemanship/behaviour/become-the-alpha-horse/

Quote: On top of that, many trainers, clinicians and instructors have begun basing training techniques on the replication of certain actions or behaviors of horses that are (often perceived as) the “dominant” members of the herd. These actions and techniques are designed to ultimately have a horse see the handler as the dominant or “alpha” horse, and thus cause the horse to become submissive and easy to work with.

... although in this article Mark Rashid is actually arguing against the "alpha theory".

There are many other examples out there still. However, I'm glad to say this point of view has waned somewhat over the last decade or so, though it's still popular in certain quarters, probably more in the US than here.

Of course, whenever I am working with a horse I want to be the one in charge - but as myself and not some notional "herd leader" or alpha mare. One can be in control and get respectful behaviour without consideration for equine social structures. And, of course, there are very good ways to achieve those things that don't involve playing dominance games or acting in any way like a horse.

I do wholeheartedly agree with you on the theatricality/magic point!
 
Ellietotz said:
Why did you stick with him if he was horrible? Everyone here is saying that leaving is the best thing to do but you stuck to yours for now 20 odd years so why? You knew you could get hurt and so did everyone else making the advice to walk away who decided to take on a badly raised horse. What made you do it if you had loads of better choices? I've had her for 6 months and I do still have fun, she does still make me happy, most of the time they are idle threats, it's very rare she actually opens her mouth and properly tries, she's never properly bitten down on me, only hit me with her teeth. Regardless if it's really aggressive or not, I still want to change this of course as I don't want it to happen at all but I do love her and want to work with her. Either that or she will probably get pts. She has some issues and I believe we can work them out, she has never done anything truly horrible to me and I probably let her anyway so I have myself to blame too. I don't think walking away is always the answer and it doesn't have to be. Like you said, you were getting hurt, most people who have replied have got hurt and no one walked away, they stuck with it. What's the difference now? I may get hurt but I may also get hurt when a great big soppy horse spooks and crushes me to death. We take the risk when we want to be around horses. Being hurt obviously is more likely with horses like mine but I've committed to that and giving up is exactly what she wants and I don't.
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Probably because he actually belonged to her Ellie, I doubt the poster would ever have considered loaning her horse out to some unsuspecting person without the appropriate skill set. It was keep and persevere or shoot.


most of the time they are idle threats, it's very rare she actually opens her mouth and properly tries, she's never properly bitten down on me, only hit me with her teeth. Regardless if it's really aggressive or not, I still want to change this of course as I don't want it to happen at all but I do love her and want to work with her. Either that or she will probably get pts. She has some issues and I believe we can work them out.

Is it just me or are other posters on here losing the will to live, having a major head desk moment and thinking - go ahead and stick with it and get bit, kicked or worse you silly silly girl? 20 or not, you are behaving like an utter airhead, your head is in the clouds and I am sure you are not. Please, please, please for the love of god!! Think what you would say to a friend in this position.
 
Queenbee said:
Is it just me or are other posters on here losing the will to live, having a major head desk moment
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I haven't contributed but I think the confusion lies in the thread title and the OP's OP in which she states that she has been bitten. I read these to mean that she had been bitten but obviously I was incorrect in my understanding of the written word. She has now clarified the situation with 'it's very rare she actually opens her mouth and properly tries, she's never properly bitten down on me, only hit me with her teeth.' I think she means that the mare has only hit her with her teeth and not bitten her as previously stated. The OP seems OK with this. Then again I could be wrong (again)
 
Op, people are only responding to your opening post and subsequent posts that state you are uncomfortable with the horse's behaviour, you don't really know how to help her and you are troubled by the fact that she seems to dislike you. This, along with your description of her behaviour and the fact that you don't actually own her is leading people to suggest that she is not a very good match for you, even with improved behaviour, and therefore the obvious solution to your problem is to end the loan and find a more suitable horse to enjoy.

If you wish to persevere with her then that's fine, but the fact remains that the most obvious solution to the problem stated in your op is to give her back and move on.
 
Arzada said:
I haven't contributed but I think the confusion lies in the thread title and the OP's OP in which she states that she has been bitten. I read these to mean that she had been bitten but obviously I was incorrect in my understanding of the written word. She has now clarified the situation with 'it's very rare she actually opens her mouth and properly tries, she's never properly bitten down on me, only hit me with her teeth.' I think she means that the mare has only hit her with her teeth and not bitten her as previously stated. The OP seems OK with this. Then again I could be wrong (again)
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I agree... I think a far more accurate and less misleading thread title would be

'Getting seriously fed up with being threatened to be bitten by a horse that never really properly tries to bite me, but threatens to and gives me little kisses with her teeth but has not taken a hunking chunk out of me' -

If only HHO allowed that much space for titles the forum would be a much less confusing and misleading world.
 
Ellietotz said:
Why did you stick with him if he was horrible? Everyone here is saying that leaving is the best thing to do but you stuck to yours for now 20 odd years so why? You knew you could get hurt and so did everyone else making the advice to walk away who decided to take on a badly raised horse. What made you do it if you had loads of better choices? I've had her for 6 months and I do still have fun, she does still make me happy, most of the time they are idle threats, it's very rare she actually opens her mouth and properly tries, she's never properly bitten down on me, only hit me with her teeth. Regardless if it's really aggressive or not, I still want to change this of course as I don't want it to happen at all but I do love her and want to work with her. Either that or she will probably get pts. She has some issues and I believe we can work them out, she has never done anything truly horrible to me and I probably let her anyway so I have myself to blame too. I don't think walking away is always the answer and it doesn't have to be. Like you said, you were getting hurt, most people who have replied have got hurt and no one walked away, they stuck with it. What's the difference now? I may get hurt but I may also get hurt when a great big soppy horse spooks and crushes me to death. We take the risk when we want to be around horses. Being hurt obviously is more likely with horses like mine but I've committed to that and giving up is exactly what she wants and I don't.
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Trust me, if you HAD been bitten properly, you'd know all about it, and it sounds like it's only a matter of time. I took on a very troubled hackney gelding several years ago. Badly brought up, never socialised with any horse except his dam, kept as a stallion until 4, and locked away in box for most of the day. He had extreme "fight" rather than flight tendencies, and bit me twice, despite my best efforts. he was like a striking snake, and got appropriate extreme measures back. (the elbow is a good one!) He actually turned out a nice little horse, but I couldn't trust him for over a year. In the end, he respected me, and I rewarded him for that. He was however, very volatile, and had to be fed carefully. I sold him with full disclosure to an experienced hackney home, and they were very successful with him, until they decided to change his feed to something calmer. The result was that he savaged their old pony, and they were on the verge of putting him down. until they changed back the feed, and he reverted back to a managable horse.
 
The only reason for keeping a horse like this that you don't own (Or even you do own!) is if the horse is seriously talented and you can ignore the poor stable manners because it's a dream to compete. For the average rider doing it as a hobby things are meant to be fun. It costs the same to keep a horse you enjoy as one that you don't, seems a no brainer to me. I'm an amateur, my horse is a darling, if he wasn't I wouldn't have got him, let alone kept him.
 
Queenbee said:
I agree... I think a far more accurate and less misleading thread title would be

'Getting seriously fed up with being threatened to be bitten by a horse that never really properly tries to bite me, but threatens to and gives me little kisses with her teeth but has not taken a hunking chunk out of me' -

If only HHO allowed that much space for titles the forum would be a much less confusing and misleading world.
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We think alike. If only the subjects of some of these threads would start their own threads eg 'Getting seriously fed up with love, cuddles and kisses now!!'
 
TBF much of the loss of will to live if it does exist is probably because of the number of threads about this horse's issues which seem to end up going round in circles. When the OP was advised to steer well clear before she loaned the mare
 
OP - I wouldn't have had the experience or patience to take on my troubled mare 20 years ago when I was your age. Tbh I wouldn't have wanted something like her either!

Nowadays I find her and her challenges interesting to work with. She's an intelligent little horse (that's not always a good thing) & teaching her and seeing her progress is something I enjoy. I'm not interested in competing any more and I've always liked training. Plus I have the disposable income to get another one if I decide I want to do more.

There is a significant level of stress in owning a horse like this though. I dread going on holiday knowing the yard are looking after her because if she spots a weakness then she's vile.
 
OP as far as I can tell, you don't have the experience to be able to put this horse right. There, that's as blunt as I can be. Other people who have shared their stories may have. You may well just make her worse.
 
Arzada said:
We think alike. If only the subjects of some of these threads would start their own threads eg 'Getting seriously fed up with love, cuddles and kisses now!!'
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This did make me laugh. The posts she would write... "why can't I go back to being fat and lazy"
 
SEL said:
OP - I wouldn't have had the experience or patience to take on my troubled mare 20 years ago when I was your age. Tbh I wouldn't have wanted something like her either!

Nowadays I find her and her challenges interesting to work with. She's an intelligent little horse (that's not always a good thing) & teaching her and seeing her progress is something I enjoy. I'm not interested in competing any more and I've always liked training. Plus I have the disposable income to get another one if I decide I want to do more.

There is a significant level of stress in owning a horse like this though. I dread going on holiday knowing the yard are looking after her because if she spots a weakness then she's vile.
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I know she wouldn't have been something I'd have chosen but my original thread when she came into the picture explained how I don't have field rent or hay to pay no matter how much I insist so I took the opportunity. Seeing her progress is something I find extremely rewarding too and to be honest, tonight, I took the advice from here about being the leader, being firm and calm, she was good as gold and we spent a good half an hour grooming each other in the field after. She followed me around, didn't give me looks, so I think she can improve as well as improving myself, I think she knows I'm weak and tests me. Income is not a problem either, I don't care whether she's on loan or my own, she's an animal I care about, I would willingly spend money on an animal I didn't even know if it helped them.
 
you see I would not let a horse as you describe get anywhere near to grooming me, it blurs the personal space issue.

When the previous owner said of our mare 'has she washed your hair for you yet' that explained a lot!
 
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