Getting your partner interested in horses... any success stories?

[rabatsa]

Mine had a weeks holiday and I already had lessons booked for myself so I booked him some at the same time. He did not actually believe me that it was his lesson until mounting time. It took me 19 years to get him onto a horse and then I could not get him off. He went for weekly lessons starting with the tiny tots, then progressed to the 7pm ride. He has also got quite handy with doing things at home over the years.

 

[Gloi]

Tried it once. Mine was a bit feisty to learn on so took him to local riding school where he had a few lessons then developed a crush on the girl who was teaching him.

 

[Winters100]

Only really works for us if we go in 2 cars so I can have a horse tacked up waiting for him to arrive and then take it off him when he is done. We have had a few nice times, but for sure he would not be interested in chores.

 

[Not_so_brave_anymore]

Before we were married (ie back in the days when he was still pretending to take an interest in my hobbies, and I was still pretending I didn't hate his whole family) I took my not-yet-husband pony trekking in Wales. He'd never sat on a horse before or since. He now thinks he's a "rider" ?

 

[TheOldTrout]

Mine enjoys coming to the yard and being round horses, but wouldn't ride them. He's fond of my mare.

 

[Iznurgle]

I have brought both my ex and my current beau for lessons (of their own volition!). The ex enjoyed it, but the fact that he didn't drive and he was taking lessons at the yard I worked at meant he couldn't go unless I was up there on my day off was what stopped it. The current boyfriend took a fair few lessons with the end goal being the ability to go for a hacking holiday with me somewhere. Between lockdowns and new jobs (from riding school to livery yard) he's basically stopped, but he became fairly confident, doing small amounts of canter and popping over a cross pole in trot. The hardest part is not wanting to blurt something out to try and help him! Unfortunately, he has no interest in any yard work, beyond occasionally filling a haynet (with gloves on, of course) if he's been dragged up to my guy as I muck out.

 

[Elno]

My partner is indifferent to most horses except my current one. He really adores her, and I think the feeling is mutual. I have had several and he has ridden (ok mostly sat and maybe trotted around for a bit) on most of them including this one. He also happens to be a very gentle, calm person and horses seem to naturally like him. During the years I've had horses he has been mildly forced to learn basic day to day handling of them and nowadays I feel pretty safe letting him handle my youngster without fear of having him or her injured ?

For us his involvement began pretty naturally and gradual. I sometimes would bring him along to do the chores or film me when I'm riding and he also wanted himself to learn because of me sometimes being away for work for a couple of days.

I doubt he actually wants to learn how to ride properly, and he has his own (also expensive) hobby which takes up alot of his time. In a way its ideal because he seldom argues over the cost of mine, because he knows I know how much his costs ?? He is also very supportive I have my own hobby and when I have moments of doubt about selling the horse he always makes me think twice about it, even though he at the same time would love me doing the same thing as he does (which I did before, but stopped in favour of horses). I think it's important though to have your own thing going.

 

[cold_feet]

I think I have the perfect OH! He doesn't get involved in my day to day activities with my horse (which is on full livery very near home). He doesn't do anything useful around the yard, but that's mostly because I haven't had the need to train him! He does love to come on our outings, likes driving the lorry, and is willing to help out washing down and passing buckets when needed (we do endurance). He goes for a long walk during the several hours that I am riding. He has even crewed for us taking slosh bottles in a back pack on his bike. He adores my horse, but hasn't strayed beyond holding his lead rope and giving him the occasional brush. Suits me just fine as we both have our own interests, I love spending my time alone with my horse but its lovely to have company on our outings.

 

[Trinket12]

My hubby likes Sugar, but other than coming on a trail ride with me when we're on holiday no other interest. Which I am quite happy with, barn time is my time and at the moment with us both working from home, the only 'me' time I get!

 

[maya2008]

Yes, non horsey when he met me, adopted pony no.2 and learned to ride so he could ride her. We never went away on honeymoon because he loved her so much he couldn’t leave her in someone else’s care for a week. She got old and died in time and he now has his own horse again. He is also rather fond of our new companion (who arrived feral and who he is gradually taming).

It was his decision though, and without that pony who adopted him as much as he adopted her, it would never have worked. She chose him, and he only ever wanted to ride her. The new one chose him too when we went to view him, and has always very much been his since arrival.

So really, you just need the right horse...! My husband likes to be the one to tame them in a way, the wildness attracts him to them - original pony was almost feral, current gelding could only be headcollared and led after a fashion, and new pony is yet to be caught - but eats out of his hand almost now so that won’t take long!

 

[J&S]

My OH rode quite a lot when he was younger and even into his 30's he would take any opportunity offered. when we got together in our early 50's he came out on the forest with me to show willing and was quite able to hold his own but he developed a really bad back (disc problem) and hasn't wanted to sit on a horse since. He is very fond of all the horses and ponies we own or know and was keen for his daughter to do PC and really was an enthusiastic helper. He has paid for loads of horsey stuff for me so I am quite happy with how things are.

 

[Skib]

Yes. He got fed up waiting in the carpark while I went trail riding in USA. So the following year, age 67, he had half a dozen Western style lessons with our RI and in order to ride with me. He never did really master rising trot. But liked to canter and gave up riding only when his usual RS horse got too old to canter.

 

[planete]

I taught OH to ride, he got his own horse, we rode together, so success of a kind. I exercised, groomed and did the day to day care of both horses. Until I said enough is enough. OH has gone back to his own interests and helps with the occasional heavy jobs like ditch digging. We are both much happier.

 

[ycbm]

I bought horses on two separate occasions for my OH to ride.

I ended up exercising horses I didn't want to be riding because the OH didn't ride enough, and then doing all the chores, and when he did ride my hacks were spoiled by having to watch out for a novice.

It was much better when he gave up and left me to it.
.

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

Mine will ask after H, and if the weather is JUST right eg no wind, not too cold, not too hot, DEFINITELY no rain, will come and walk out on a hack with me, but will wait in the car while I do all the smelly jobs!!!
He's always going on about exercise and fitness, I suggest he come running with me while I go on a hack. He goes quiet and goes to the gym instead! Surely running on a hack is more scenic than on a treadmill (I hate running)

H didn't exactly endear himself to him as one time I asked him to hold him while I locked the yard gate when we went for a hack. He was under strict instructions to not let go. I could hear a rattly trailer coming. I could tell what was going to happen, but if I'd rushed to H it would have made matters worse. H did indeed spook - right onto his foot ? to his credit he did as instructed and didn't let go but now he observes from a distance!

I did get him to have a riding lesson once as I keep H at an rs. Typically he got rising trot instantly! Apparently riding happened once and never again!!!!

To be honest if I wanted to ride when we were on holiday, I'd rather it was just me than we ride in a group together as I'd need to go in the walk group, but I love a canter etc!

 

[KEK]

Yes. We decided horses were something we were going to do together (its my secondary hobby to dog agility), and we keep them at home.
Hes pretty amazing- does the majority of the work for them. Also will hook up float, put tack in car etc when I go to meet a friend to hack. Takes my pony to shows, lessons etc. We got him a 21yo Standardbred to ride and she is perfect to hack. Walks fast, canters out not up. Prefers not to trot, although annoyingly he mastered rising trot in about 2 goes. However he now thinks he can ride... lol.

 

[DirectorFury]

OH worships the ground my mare walks on, mucks out very well (a bit too well - takes him an hour to do a bed!), and is generally capable of doing day-to-day care. I actually left him in sole charge once when I was still on DIY as I had to go away with work for a week and the yard she was on couldn’t be trusted to provide the services you paid for. When she was on DIY he’d come with me and muck out while I rode and drove the trailer if we were going anywhere.

He had a full top to bottom spinal fusion as a child due to severe scoliosis so he won’t risk riding (and I think it’s quite painful, though he won’t admit that) and he’s a bit too heavy for my horse anyway. I quite like it, if he rode as well I’d feel obliged to hack with him all the time and sometimes I just want peace and quiet when I’m out!

 

[ArklePig]

Mine loves horses, is basically an animal whisperer they just gravitate to him, and he's super active and has yet to meet a form of exercise he doesn't like. Sadly, he is allergic.

I brought him to the yard tonight, hopped up on antihistamines, to meet new my new share cob and he was absolutely smitten with him and was so sad he couldn't fuss him. He proved very useful at filling haynets and going to the muckheap though.

Tbh, he works a shift pattern and I'm glad I've something that's mine when he's out working as I do a 9-5.

 

[claret09]

my other half is totally uninterested. he hasn't seen my horse in the flesh for more than four years. he has seen the odd photo on facebook but that's it. i have moved him a couple of time and he has under sufferance come and cleared the stable out - probably more useful. i have had my boy for fifteen years and he has never been out anywhere with us. i definitely won't pressurise him into coming - there would be no point and i happily go out on my own with my boy - we even go and stay overnight at shows on our own, other half is in charge of making sure the cats are ok at home

 

[Splash2310]

My boyfriend was desperate to ride and loved it the few times I managed to steal a horse for him to ride and taught him (though I was more than miffed that lovely horse decided to pootle around in walk in an outline).

He’s now lost interest in coming up really as there’s nothing for him to ride and he doesn’t enjoy standing in the cold watching me - wish I could find a nice laid back horse I could teach him on again!

 

[Pippity]

I'd prefer a partner who had practical hobbies. Horsebox repair, a love of general DIY tasks around the yard, etc. And if they could be a (good) farrier or equine vet as a day job, that would be perfect.

 

[vam]

I think i have got the right balance. He drives and fixes the lorry, helps round the yard doing the practical stuff, films all my lessons and shows, can do the basics like put on a head collar or bridle, lead, rugs etc, doesn't mind coming up in all weathers, loves my horse and is super supportive of what i do. He quite likes the country life and wants us to get somewhere with land to have her at home eventually. He has no desire to ride one (quite likes the idea of driving thou) and has his own hobbies. He is a mechanic by trade and loves old stuff so has a vintage tractor to play about with and will spend time making things out of old horse shoes.
It works really well considering how much our lives revolve around horses but he takes himself off to what he likes, i just make sure i supply the baked goods to keep him sweet!

 

[BallyRoanBaubles]

My OH was already horsey before I met him, he hardly rides much now but his mum and sister are very horsey and he rode lots when he was younger. I find this a good balance, he doesn't come to the yard much as I normally finish work earlier than him and go straight there, but he understands the horsey life and everything that comes with it. I still get my horsey time to myself but if I needed his assistance with something he'd be there, also nice to borrow a horse the odd time and hack out together.

 

[tda]

My OH was interested when we met, he said "it can't to that hard, bit like riding a motorbike? "? turns out he was right ? he vaulted on ?13.2 pony and set off at speed. ? he always rode bareback, and once went out with a friend's ponyclub children on their ponies, galloping about like a loon.
Soon got bored tho, and now puts up with the herd, he's handy for fencing etc and loves us getting new kit quad/roller/draze/poopicker/round bale lifter etc etc

 

[scats]

I can’t think of anything worse! Previous boyfriends of mine have wanted to ‘help’ at the yard and it just drove me insane.
The yard is my time to get away from them.

 

[SpotsandBays]

My other half had sat on my horse twice. Definitely not his thing (and I’m glad. We need our own hobbies).
However he does somewhat take an interest in the care side. He’ll give me a hand if I ask ?

 

[Accidental Eventer]

My hubby started out because of me. He had hos own hobby (dancing, how we met!) but because he is lovely wanted to get involved in my thing. So he came along and watched and met my friends, enjoyed the social aspect, helped out with the horses at home, and learnt to ride. I bought him his own horse and he loved it, though I like it less haha!

She had to be PTS and he hasn't ridden as much since then because he misses having his own. However he is a qualified show jumping judge, and has been asked to judge at some very big comps here. He is also being pushed to become a steward and is very, very well known.

He kinda made horses his thing but in his own way and it works really well. He loves the technical side, loves judging, supports me with competing and know his stuff. He can help me plan to ride a course, helps set jumps, come to lessons, drives the float, but then keeps himself busy separately. he is very passionate about horse welfare and is very prepared to speak up and stand his ground when he thinks something is not right. He is generally quite amazing!

I dont have to worry about him at a comp, he will go off and keep himself busy and I will often hear him commentating when he was just going to say hello!

 

[Lyle]

I joked to my OH once, that maybe he could help me plait up for an event. He looked me dead in the eye, and said if I ever asked him again, he'd hog all my horses manes. he knows what a hogged mane is, because he grew up hunting/eventing. He's a pretty handy person, loves the horses, gives the youngstock cuddles, rides the breakers, trims feet, encourages me to buy more ponies because 'this one has bloodlines that fit perfectly'. Pretty lucky, I am! Although he gets a little too much delight when he helps 'desensitize' while I'm riding, usually involving jumping around or revving a noisy machine

 

[Baywonder]

An old ex of mine had an expensive hobby too, and I did dabble in it for a little while. It was okay - but it wasn't horses, if you see what I mean.

The bills became too much, and one day, in a fit of anger, he said to me "We can't fund both of these hobbies, so you are going to have to sell your horse"

Red rag to a bull. I did not sell my horse, and I told him exactly what I thought of his idea. In the blink of an eye, both him and his hobby were no longer part of my life!

 

[Kareen]

In my way of thinking getting a partner interested in horses if he isn't makes just as little sense as with children. They either are interested or they aren't. I've seen it happen many times and I believe most people do themselves a great disservice trying to alter their spouse in any shape or form.
I think if you're looking to your partner to help you achieve anything you wouldn't achieve on your own you're setting yourself up for failure to begin with. Quite frankly I've never wanted a horsey partner but then I am a vet as well and wouldn't want to mingle my private life into my profession there either. Guess it's a matter of personal preference. I do appreciate the voice of reason / grounding factor my non-horsey partners have given me over the years. If they want to do anything or help on their own volition that is great but I'd never try to get them interested unless they truly are.