Goats and horses?

WelshD said:
My goats are a bloody nightmare, Dave (the male) is unbelievably bare faced and brazen in his misbehaviour.

I recently wrote this 'catching loose pigs in 50 easy steps' which features Dave quite a bit...


1) arrive at field and smile at ponies flat out sunbathing
2) wave at the ponies and shout 'hello ponies'
3) wave at the sunbathing pigs next to the ponies and shout 'hello pigs'
4) make your way to the feedstore
5) stop
6) retrace your steps
7) ask yourself how the pigs got from their pig pen, through two fences, under an electric fence and get in to the pony paddock 100+ metres away
8) wonder what the hell to do now
9) get bucket of pig nuts
10) get mugged by ponies and Dave the goat, nuts go everywhere
11) catch ponies and put in to alternative paddock
12) tempt pigs to gateway
13) pigs wont go through gateway because of electric fence
14) get mugged by Dave the goat again
15) Lock Dave in stable
16) get pigs as far as next gateway
17) Dave appears and scatters pigs in different directions
18) Lock Dave in stable
19) get one pig through gateway while the other legs it
20) decide to concentrate on one pig, get it to pig pen
21) Dave appears and wrecks everything
22) Lock Dave in stable, put mesh over top door
23) other pig has been gone an hour, go in search. find Dave not pig
24) Lock Dave in stable, put mesh over door and window
25) clear up spilled pig nuts
26) see pig by fence
27) run over, same pig as before, not the AWOL one
28) cry a bit as you realise more than two hours have passed
20) go for more pig nuts
21) rattle scoop despondently whilst weeping in to the scoop
22) hear snorting
23) turn to see AWOL pig back in pig pen!!
24) decide between climbing pig pen fence and wading through two feet of mud by gate
25) heave twenty odd stone self over wood and wire fence
26) remove broken tree branch from broken fence where pigs escaped
27) realise you have nothing to fix fence with
28) heave yourself back over fence in to nettles
29) swear. a lot.
30) go and check on Dave, is he dead? its been quiet
31) find Dave in feedstore up to his eyebrows in pig nuts
32) lock Dave in feedstore
33) heave pallet, fence stakes, hammer and self back over fence
34) mend fence
35) Climb back out in to nettles, reflect on decision to wear a skirt today
36) find loose pig, rattle scoop
37) Dave takes the latch off the feedstore and appears at side
38) realise over three hours have passed
39) open pig pen gate and plead with pig to go in
40) Dave goes in
41) lock Dave in pig pen
42) find pig in the nettles
43) rattle scoop
44) Dave comes over fence of pig pen like Red Rum
45) find pig in the nettles
46) rattle scoop
47) open pig pen gate and plead with pig to go in
48) pig jumps in sweet as you like
49) weep with relief
50) try not to kill husband when he asks where his tea is
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Love it!
 
paddi22 said:
they spent three hours headbutting this brick out, and they just lay down and looked at it for hours. you can also see the wires of what used to be our satelitte dish.

image_zpsx047stan.jpg
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Howling at this :D Especially the single minded headbutting, why do they do that? It is as if the offending object is sending out vibes "Kill Meeeeeeeeee, kill me now" I've watched goats do that too, strange things must be go on in their little heads :)
 
paddi22 said:
DON'T GET PYGMY GOATS!! they are absolute B*llixs.. my two are satan.
They recently ate a pair of carl hester elastic reins:( _ They pull the license plate off our car regularly for a laugh. they headbutt bricks from our wall. they jumped on our roof and ate through our satelite dish wires. we got electric poultry netting to keep them in and they just ate through it as they seem to enjoy being shocked. They get jammed upside down in any fencing the can find. They headbutt our chickens around. One of them jumped off the roof and broke her knee and now needs bl*ody cortaflex supplements. They are obsessed with pulling down haynets and running round with them on their heads. The girl used to get seasons so badly she would just scream non stop for 24 hours a day for three days until we had to get her spayed. They headbutt the horses and any small children they see. Our dogs live in constant terror of them. They roll in the horses vitamin blocks and it takes me days to chip the gunk off them. They ate our neighbours rose bush that she planted with her dead husbands ashes.

They are absolute maniacs. The only useful thing they ever do is eat the christmas tree each year. Never get pygmy goats. Ever. Satan looks like a goat for a reason.
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I don't know why but your experience with them has made me love them even more! I must be a glutton for punishment
 
Enfys said:
Vetwrap works best for binding up horns :) Do not, as we once did, try to tip them. The blood supply is very close to the end, blood EVERYWHERE :( Lesson learned.

I was looking at the photos, he has a vaguely Nubian-ish type roman nose, but not the ears. What is he, about 25" ? I don't think there is any Alpine breeds showing, maybe mixed with pygmy. Kiku colouring and twisty horns, Boer shaped face, a bit. I am only really familiar with the common meat and dairy breeds.

Goats are like ponies, they come in a wonderful array of shapes and sizes, I love goats. I don't have ANY right now, we are downsizing, I hate it :(
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He's around 30" I would say, almost the same height as my large greyhound boy who is 32"

As for the goat/welsh cob mix ... Mines a troublemaker welsh mountain and he does seem drawn towards her :p
 
This thread is awesome, has brightened my morning! We have goats roaming free on my yard (2 with horns and 1 without) and the 2 with horns are EVIL. They are fine if you scratch their heads and play with their horns but god forbid you stop and they'll chase you until the cows come home! The only way you can get rid of them is by waving a fork or broom at them or squirting them with the hose! The hornless one is as soppy as they come though, she's a real sweetheart. I second what everyone else says about them being naughty, eating everything (Yes, literally everything - a child dropped a cherry bakewell the other day and world war 3 started when 2 of the goats had a disagreement over who wanted it), escapologists and general pains in the behind! They are funny though, the things they get up to are hilarious and even though they can be annoying, they definitely liven the place up!
 
paddi22 said:
They are absolute maniacs. The only useful thing they ever do is eat the christmas tree each year. Never get pygmy goats. Ever. Satan looks like a goat for a reason.
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^^ I love this :D I am very fond of goats, they are almost as bad as foals for being timewasters IMO :) I could watch them all day. I don't think I'd ever keep them myself though :lol:

We had some to stay in our orchard when I was a child as the neighbours ran out of space for their menagerie. We all had patches on our clothes after that, as they would routinely escape and chomp through the washing on the line.
 
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