Have you ever bought a horse without your OH knowing?!

[SnowPhony]

I have a bit more respect for my OH to make such a big commitment without discussing it with him first.

 

[Supertrooper]

I'm glad that I had a few years with no horse to save for a house because we now have a lovely house and are financially in a situation where we can very easily afford for me to have a horse again.

Personally I would never take on any animal without my significant other knowing about it and being involved in the decision. Even though my OH isn't interested in horses he definitely had a say, having a pony could be a 30yr financial commitment and it's both our money that's involved in that xx

 

[MargotC]

I was single when I bought both horses I had, so not an issue at the time.

However to me it would depend largely on what kind of a relationship it is. If we have separate finances and I could honestly say a new horse would go straight into the existing horse arrangements I had made and would not chip into our time spent together, I might consider it if it happened that way. That is to say, if I knew in my heart the purchase wouldn't affect my partner in any major way and we could carry on as per usual, I would not beat myself up for grasping an opportunity if it did arise without consulting them first. (With regards to the last: It would also depend on the size of the investment I was making on my own. Even with separate finances I would absolutely let OH know if I intended to spend an exorbitant sum of money, mine or not.)

If a new addition did mean it would affect our time spent together and/or OH's commitments and/or mutual finances, OH's views on the subject would be taken into equal if not more consideration than my own as knowing I have OH's support would be important to me in anything and I wouldn't want to break their trust in me.

But IMHO it depends on your relationship, how your finances are managed, and your OH.

 

[Charlie007]

Funny this thread should come up today as I'm thinking of getting another but don't know how to break it to the OH!! I have seen a few I like locally and I don't see the harm in going to look!! I think if I really fell for one then he would be fine with it but I wouldn't just bring one home. Or would I!!!!!

 

[windand rain]

Never we have been married for 38 years he earns all the money now and although it is our money it would be unfair of me to use it without his input. He bought me a foal for our pearl wedding anniversary and bought two little foals when I gave up but was miserable but we did chose them together. He only wants me to be happy but to be honest sometimes his insistence on doing it has left us very short of cash from time to time

 

[proudwilliam]

Oh yes I have bought them without OH knowledge or approval. But he has 5 guns for clay shooting and all the gear!!! Now on the endless hunt for new show horse. Spent £700 in air fares and vets fees so far and still nothing. Also I earned more than him and I look after the finances and he does not mind or care.!

 

[JennBags]

Funny this thread should come up today as I'm thinking of getting another but don't know how to break it to the OH!! I have seen a few I like locally and I don't see the harm in going to look!! I think if I really fell for one then he would be fine with it but I wouldn't just bring one home. Or would I!!!!!

I'd be discussing it first I think. If you saw one you really liked, and OH said absolutely no to another horse, would that not just make you one of the time-wasters that are often complained about?

 

[Charlie007]

Nope it certainly wouldn't jennbags as to get to the stage of looking at suitable horses my OH would have to be partly on side.

 

[Polos Mum]

My OH came into my life knowing what was important to me, when I met him he was living in a flat in London and had never owned a goldfish, now I'm happy to stay away with work when I have to knowing he will feed, muck out, change rugs etc for our expanding collection (now 4!)

I've recently bought a new one and TBH he was a bit gutted I went for the off the track ex racer, he kept leaving expensive BE horse ads lying around - but then we did agree what I spend on a new pony he could spend on a new push bike!

OP if you're young and this is just a boyfiend - don't get too over excited about it, if you married/ share a house etc. think long and hard about why you'd want to keep something so exciting from him?

 

[skint1]

I bought my daughter a horse, not an expensive one, but it was with some of the money I was supposed to be keeping to do up the kitchen (which was in a state beyond mere cosmetic intervention) I lied to him and told him it was a loan horse. I felt terrible, I imagine that must be what cheating feels like, (for me anyway) but I thought it would be ok and I could replace the money. It didn't happen, I kept borrowing more and then I ended up in a debt problem. I didn't ask him to intervene but he felt he had to and this caused so much resentment from him and we nearly split up over it. We did get through it thankfully, but I had a lot of humble pie to eat, it's been hard but I have vowed to be completely honest about the horses and what they cost. Since then I have been promoted at work, inherited some money and I have since bought my own horse and to my surprise, whilst he doesn't understand my love of horses he was not against it. In short, Yes I have bought a horse without my OH knowing, the cost to me of that lie was potentially very high so I wouldn't recommend it

 

[BlackRider]

Just to say that a yearling on grass is relatively cheap, but anything can happen that incurs very large vets fees.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

I'm assuming the original post was somewhat tongue in cheek....but although I'm single I'd never get away with secretly buying horse...even my best friend would go nuts and be highly offended for one lol. Plus she tends to be my voice of reason.
I'm 33 lol
I don't think I would ever buy an animal without really consulting an OH first. But I bought my Macaw 12 years ago when I was with a boyfriend. ..we didn't live together but he wasn't thrilled with the idea though accepted it. Not helped by the fact that said Macaw broke his thumb
12 years on I still have the Macaw.............

 

[skint1]

hah love it! Glad you still have your macaw.

 

[Renvers]

No - buying a rug or a handbag without discussing it is fine, a horse is quite another. I know a couple of people who have bought a horse without telling OH, both times it showed the relationships were on the rocks and trust and respect had already bitten the dust. Needless to say the horses lasted longer than the men!

If you are serious about setting up home together why not spend the next 3 years on that and then buy a 4 year old once you have the house? You will spend nearly as much on a yearling living in a field as a ridden horse, they still needs vets, food, insurance etc and lots of your time.

 

[dogatemysalad]

No, I'd let him know so he could pay.

 

[JLD]

Just to say that a yearling on grass is relatively cheap, but anything can happen that incurs very large vets fees.

Agree with this. My boy was free and lives at home. I have just had to find £900 for a vets bill ( hadn't got round to insurance as doesn't really leave the field except for in hand walks - oops . That is quite a chunk of deposit on a house.

 

[kez81]

Yes and in end it cost me my marriage but was so worth it. I had my old boy when hubby met me and he was always jealous of how much time and love my boy gets so when my youngster magically popped himself into my field ( fairies did it, I didn't travel 100 miles to buy him honest!) He got really jealous. Kept moaning about how much time I spent there, how much money I spent etc and I thought sod it would rather have my horses than him so waved him bye bye. Best decision I ever made as me and my kids spend our evenings pootling about the yard together having fun with no miserable sod sat in car glaring at his watch lol.

 

[Buddy'sMum]

No, I'd let him know so he could pay.

Yup

 

[Spring Feather]

No, never. Wouldn't dream of buying another horse without letting my husband know.

 

[kez81]

Oh and should say OH did know I wanted another horse and had been looking, just not that I already had one lined up when I first broached subject lol. I would say the fact I was willing to just go out and do it without really involving him showed the cracks in our relationship that were already growing. So if you are seriously considering secretly buying horse then just be careful its not a sign of cracks in your relationship that you can't fix . xx

 

[STRIKER]

I sent my OH an email saying meet your new christmas present, it wasnt christmas yet and he was on holiday thousands of miles away, he never said a word.

 

[Shutterbug]

I talked my OH into believing that buying my youngster was the absolute right decision for me. He eventually agreed.......that was after I had paid for him though. (and after I let him buy a stupidly expensive gaming PC - his timing was perfect)

 

[Capriole]

No I haven't and I wouldn't.

I might well buy one I wanted that OH didn't want me to buy, but I'd not be sneaky about it. I'd listen to his reasons why I shouldn't buy and then either agree he was right or go ahead anyway, but I'd be honest about what I was doing.

OH did this to me, bought a horse without telling me until the deal was done. I was furious and am still annoyed by it. I've told him if he goes behind my back again he won't need to be bothering to tell me about it later, as it will be his first purchase as a single man.

 

[Capriole]

No - buying a rug or a handbag without discussing it is fine, a horse is quite another. I know a couple of people who have bought a horse without telling OH, .

A neighbour bought a horse without telling her OH and she had it for six months before she came clean...SIX MONTHS! How that secret was kept I have no clue...

 

[Iownayetti]

I did !

My hubby thought I had my boy on loan for a year before I fessed up !

 

[LeannePip]

I did !

My hubby thought I had my boy on loan for a year before I fessed up !

my mum was the opposite - my dad was convinced she'd bought her loan horse of eight years, she hadn't! we did once buy a horse without telling my day, but technically my sister bought the horse so mum wasn't financing it!

 

[Quadro]

No farmers are far too observant
Q

 

[kc100]

Just to clarify folks.....the post was very much tongue in cheek, I'd never dream of making such a major purchase without running it by OH first. We are getting married in the summer so there's no question of commitment there (thanks whoever suggested that, bit random getting relationship advice on this forum - there's a first for everything!).

Went to view horse without him knowing but when I got back (as I LOVE the horse) fessed up, we had been discussing me buying a yearling for a few months anyway (mainly him telling me not to!) and when I explained how it is the right thing to do in our current situation he eventually agreed with my logic and has said yes to the baby horse! Actually cried when he said I can have him, how sad is that! Does help that I have a new weekend job that will easily cover cost of yearling at grass, and just to make the deal sweeter he now never has to buy me an anniversary present ever again

Appreciate yearlings can incur large vets bills if they have a death wish (as many of them do!) but he will be insured and I've already factored in the costs for grass livery, insurance, feet trimmed, wormers, vaccs, and a contingency each month for random emergencies. My full time job pays well and then weekend job will cover costs of horse - so saving for house can continue from main salary, followed by horse costs covered by weekend job. In a few years time when he needs to come off grass livery my main salary will have increased substantially, we will have bought the house - win win situation!

 

[nix123]

I have. I bought our youngest his first pony while my husband was working away abroard. He's not horsey and wasnt too chuffed, but never said anything. When he got back he looked, muttered and that was it.

 

[Annagain]

Wait 3 years until you have the house etc and then buy a 4 year old. You'll have the same horse in the sense he'll be ready to start but you'll have saved a fortune in livery, hay, feed, rugs, vet's bills etc over the 3 years, AND you won't have lied to your OH.

ETA - just read your latest post. It sounds like you've got it covered. Enjoy the new horsey!