Help at wits end need some advice

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Herbie31

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Had some excellent advice a while back from here which worked wonders. Now we have a problem which has been there a long while but is becoming a bigger issue.

My BC, when its my sons bed time yelps and makes horrible noises. He also makes these noises if anyone calls down from upstairs.

This is all exascerbated by the fact that I have ME and currently have a cold and kidney infection so feeling pretty low and crap to say the least. (I had the dog 1 1/2yrs before I got ME, would never have got a BC having ME)

We have tried putting him out in the garden when its our son's bedtime but he carries on making the same horrible noise - sounds like he's being beaten up!

At the moment I can't get out to walk him as I can't get my scooter out of the car on my own. New car coming with a hoist, but until then he is getting walked a couple times a week by a dog walker. I know this is not enough, but I can not afford any more and can only afford this in the short term. When the new car comes I will hopefully be able to get him out a bit more.

How do I stop this yelping / horrible noise he makes when I'm not even in the same room? Would one of those water collars be the way to go?

Really am at my wits end with him at the moment. He constantly paces round scrounging for food in the kitchen (he gets fed twice a day) and the sound of his claws on the laminate goes right through me. He does not seam to relax even when he's had a long walk. The other week I took him to a place that had allterain scooters and we went for a two our walk - afterwards he was if he had not been for a walk (messed me up for two weeks though) He is fed field and trial maintenance 18% protein, although supplier had run out so on the hypoallerngenic at the mo which I think is 21%, which obviously does not help.

I love him dearly and really don't want to part with him (animals are for life) but in a hole at the moment, am I being fair to him? I'm sure it will all seam better after some sensible talk from you guys and a good night sleep.
 
Im not sure I understand? does he get distressed when you are putting your son to bed? and he goes beserk?
If he has a good appetite can u not ready fill a kong with his dry biscuits mixed with sardines/tuna and place him in room with it whilst you put son to bed as more of a positive associator?would also be feeding him via a kong for all meals and making some garden games for him, i/e hiding things for him to find, i.e strong palatable treats hidden everywhere.


You need things to occupy him to prevent the boredom and pacing, what anout raw bones for him to gnaw on, and get him a matt to chew them on.
Obs he needs why more exercise but u know this?
 
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As above, I would also suggest a better dog walker, could your son/any trustworthy kids, teens or older people do some obedience or agility with him to occupy his brain?

Could you or your son play any games with him at night?

You say he paces around etc, can't you do something simple like hide a toy for him to find or ask him to so simple tricks, like give a paw, down, sit, 'watch me' and reward him with portions of his daily allowance of food, so he has to 'think' and 'work' for his food.

Border collies are very intelligent, thinking dogs and do not do well when left to their own devices.

Also, read your post back and see how stressed and frustrated you sound - be sure that your dog is picking up on this and I know from experience, that will make the pacing and the screaming ten times worse than it could be.

Calming down and upping his exercise and his brainpower will certainly make a difference.
 
Thanks for your response Cayla.

I don't think its distress, more excitment when my son goes to bed. Having ME makes me very noise sensitive so this makes it even worse. Would one of those water collars work?

The kong things, and please don't think I don't appreciate your suggestion, (its hard for you not knowing our set up here - large family room) I don't think would work for me, not the dog I might add. As the noise of his claws on the laminate would send me insane - of course I could give him it and go and sit in the lounge (thinking as I'm typing lol) ooh you've got me thinking now, large one you say?, will pick one up when his food is in and give it a go.

I know he is not getting no where near enough walks and I have huge guilt over this but my health won't allow it. Before I got ill he was getting two decent walks a day, would never have got this breed if I had already had ME, if only I had a crystal ball.

I do try and throw a ball in the garden for him and take him to different places for stimulation but have been pretty much housebound other then picking son up from school since September.

He does lay down when I tell him to when he paces, but I don't want to keep having to tell him to lay down all the time. Also analyising it, its not all the time, just feels like it today when I feel so crap.

I have to be really careful what I feed him as he has a really sensitive tummy, certain raw hide bones are ok, but bones that would last for ages from the butchers I don't think would be - perhaps you could advise? (don't need an upset tummy to add to it all at the moment)

On nice days I put him out in the garden where he has a couple of basket balls that he loves to play with, but most of the time he just sits by the gate.
 
It sounds like he needs mental as well as physical exercise. You can get some really good interactive dogs toys like these which he may like for a bedtime distraction.

Also, instead of paying a dog walker, are there any local kids who would take him for a walk or even just throw a ball for him in the garden. Maybe an advert in the local shop would find you someone (I know when I was about 10 I was thrilled when the neighbours asked me to walk their dog because I was desperate for one of my own but my Dad wouldn't have one)

I hope you can sort something out, I don't think there is anything worse than having a bored, neurotic collie in the house :eek: :rolleyes:
 
You could contact somewhere like the cinnamon trust to help you with walking and training more often in the short term.

My mu has ME so i know whats its like.

But you really have to put you aside of a while.

Get him a kong and some interactive toys and a off cut of carpet so thats he's not on the floor.

How old is your son?

You can play hide a seek.

You hold onto the dog get your son to go and hide his toy or a biscuit and then send him out to find it.

Get him some boots of the noise really annoys your that much.
 
My friend has ME, so I know how hard it is, and cannot imagine having a Bc with it! He does just sound frustrated and too full of energy.

Would it be worth putting an ad up in your local newsagents asking if anyone would like a dog to walk? For example I'm cabin crew for an airline, and could never have had a dog until I met my husband. I used to really miss having one, and would gladly have helped someone like you out...

Perhaps you could pay a teenager who does a local paper round to take him with them? You could probably pay them for a week what a dogwalker would cost for a couple of sessions, and the child would probably be pleased too.

Hope you manage to sort something out.xx
 
I know what you mean CaveCanem by my post, but that is because I am stressed and frustrated. My OH came in from work shortly after me posting and I burst into tears - nnot like me at all. I know when I wake tomorrow today will seam far away.

I do love my dog dearly, please no one think otherwise. Its the thought that I am not doing right by him that is upsetting me most. Obviously my situation does not allow the ideal, but there are improvements that can be made for him, like the Kong thing and the raw bone if his stomach will handle it. Also when the new car comes with the hoist for my scooter then we shall be able to get out and about a bit more.

As I said in a previous post I have been pretty much housebound since September and this has obviously had a greater impact on him then I thought.

Also the fact that his food that he is on at the moment is 21% protein can't be helping when he's normally on 18% protein (supplier had run out - should be in this week)

Dog walkers great, takes him for a good 45mins with his ball thrower and washes him off afterwards. Unfortunately son is too young (nearly 6yrs) and we live in a small hamlet with no teenagers around. A neighbour has been offering to take him for a walk for the last couple of years to which I would be over the moon about, even sorted out best time to call, but as yet it has not happened. Mum tries to do her bit but she works and takes my son to school for me.

Going to give the Kong thing a go, get him some bones from the butchers and come up with some games - see how we go with that.

Thanks for all the suggestions - if you think of any more, I'm all ears.
 
Oh I don't doubt you care for the dog, but it's easy to forget how much we can unwittingly project onto them. I didn't realise myself until someone pointed it out to me.

Re exercise, that's 45 mins a couple of times a week so what, 90 minutes a week? You can understand why he might be restless.
(Not getting at you! Just spelling it out) there are tonnes of little fun, low-exertion games you and your son could be playing with him in the evening.
 
Thanks for that link Brownmare, going to take a look at those and see which one I think will best suit him - don't think the rabbit in the hat one will last very long! lol
Your right he does need mental as well has physical exercise, which I have let him down but am now correcting.


katielou_houston, that idea about hide and seak sounds great. I know my son would love that as he's nearly 6. Would have to give him a treat to give to Blue as the dog is abit of a mummies boy. Not sure he would take to boots on his feet, might take a look for them though as it would certainly solve the problem - do they have non slip soles?

Honey08, unfortunately where we live you have to be able to drive so the likely hood of getting someone who would want to walk for free is about nilch. I pay my dog walker 8.50 per walk which is not much, but it soon adds up, especially when you have not got much coming in. I did take him trickle treating when we went in the next village - he loved it and was certainly tired after all the stimulation AND excercise.

Thank you so much everyone for all your replies. I am feeling so much better about the whole situation now, I now have some ideas to try and can hopefully make his life more forfilling.
 
CaveCanem - sorry, didn't reply to your post. I know your not getting at me, I know the amount of excercise he is getting is not acceptable but there are not alot of options open to me right now. If I can improve his stimulation that will be a step in the right direction. We did have a game with his cuddly earlier (mostly retreive and tug of war with my son) before I initially posted, I know not exactly brain stuff but he liked it.

Brownmare, thats a lovely thought. I doubt anyone is near though, we are in Suffolk.
 
This may be a daft idea, but what about looking for local agility clubs or Flyball clubs? BCs seem to be popular for these sports, so they may be able to point you towards people knowledgeable about the breed to help you. You might even talk someone into competing with your dog, you never know, and it would certainly help with the behaviour.

I think these toys are meant to be good for mental stimulation: http://www.petplanet.co.uk/category.asp?dept_id=724&gclid=CKWfpKSbpqUCFQHS4wodpFhpGg
 
Spudlet said:
This may be a daft idea, but what about looking for local agility clubs or Flyball clubs? BCs seem to be popular for these sports, so they may be able to point you towards people knowledgeable about the breed to help you. You might even talk someone into competing with your dog, you never know, and it would certainly help with the behaviour.
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Not a daft idea at all! Someone at our agility club was looking for a collie to borrow a while back. Sadly we are in Oxfordshire but definitely worth looking into
 
Hello,
I've had ME for just over 4 years (I'm 19 now). I understand completely.
I was bed bound for just over a year then housebound for 1. Even now I struggle but you have to take each day as it comes. I have recently got a cocker spaniel puppy and my health has improved again (plus just had surgery for Crohns) still trying to figure out how I'm gonna live my life but time will tell.

Anyhoo, what I have found really helps my hypersensitivity is noise cancelling headphones. Got mine cheap off ebay, might be worth considering. I know how debilitating it is and how it feels like your skins crawling and you just want to scream!

As suggested by the others a Kong would be really good. You could freeze them so they last longer, this would also mean that your OH/son could make them up for you. Putting him on a mat/piece of carpet or even giving it to him in his bed could stop the noise. If it's actually the noise of him literally eating it, how about chopping up tiny bits of cheese or sausage (even just his normal treats) and give him a treasure hunt.

I wouldn't feel bad about making him lie down. Just give him lots of praise when you return to him.

I taught my Goldie lots of tricks which in turn kept his mind stimulated. He can sought socks, get you tissues when you sneeze, carry bags, goes to a mat on command. etc :D

Maybe get a ball chucker for him if you don't have one already.

Please don't feel guilty. I know things could be better, but once you get your scooter it will be easier. Some people don't walk at all, through pure laziness.

I also found if I make a timetable for my day I can set little goals and through pacing can do more. Seems to be if you split the day down it doesn't seem as daunting.

I hope I covered everything, brains quite foggy today.
Hope it helps and you start to feel better soon :)

Elle
X
 
Spudlet said:
This may be a daft idea, but what about looking for local agility clubs or Flyball clubs? BCs seem to be popular for these sports, so they may be able to point you towards people knowledgeable about the breed to help you. You might even talk someone into competing with your dog, you never know, and it would certainly help with the behaviour.

]
Click to expand...

I was going to post something like this too, always worth a try.

Good luck:)
 
Oh Elle has just reminding me, collies are awesome at identifying objects, or rather, identifying the word 'ball' with ball, the word 'shoe' with a shoe, etc, when rewarded for such, so that is another non-intensive, yet brain stretching game you could play.
You could end up with a great assistance dog on your hands!
 
CaveCanem said:
Oh Elle has just reminding me, collies are awesome at identifying objects, or rather, identifying the word 'ball' with ball, the word 'shoe' with a shoe, etc, when rewarded for such, so that is another non-intensive, yet brain stretching game you could play.
You could end up with a great assistance dog on your hands!
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Definately! If my retriever can do it, Im sure a collie could.
Ronnie just slipped into the assistance dog role it's amazing. Yours may with you. If I fall (which is quite often) he nudges me so I get onto all fours and then crawls under my tummy and pushes himself up to lift me and help me onto my feet. No one has ever taught him this.

It's amazing how caring they are :)

Elle
X
 
Spudlet thats a great idea. There's one not far from ours that I used to take him to when he was a puppy (obediance, not agility obviously as he was too young) I know the owner died but think someone took over. Will give them a ring.

Oh Ellie123, bless you, you have had a tough time. Fortunately I have never been bedbound, well done you for recovering so far from that. You hit the nail on the head read the noise, really horrible. He is very intelligent but doesn't teaching tricks take up alot of your energy? Your dog sounds amazing.

CaveCanem, he already knows 'ball' - this is opening up so much more for us - thank you! Daft question how do I go about getting the association between the word and the object in his brain? 'Ball' sort of just happened, but is there a tried and tested way?

Thanks so much everyone, you have no idea how much better I am feeling about it all. I was about ready to admit defeat earlier which would have broken my heart but now see a light.

Have ordered a Dog Roulette, XLarge Kong and Liver Paste from the site I think Brownmare recommended (thanks x) can't wait for them to arrive. He is now asleep by my feet.
 
So ball, show it, indicate it, he noses it or picks it up, reward with food, or praise or play with ball, whatever floats his boat.

Put the ball beside, but not to close to, or even separate to begin with, depending on how much you think it might confuse him...a...kong? Repeat the word kong and indicate it with your hand or whatever, when he noses it, 'kong', good boy, praise.

Say ball, touches it, praise, say kong, do not speak until he touches or picks it up, good boy, praise.

Then you can bring the objects together once he 'has' it and get him to pick.

As mentioned, using a clicker rather than words is more instant, less ambiguous and a better cue than voice, so say 'kong', click just when he touches it and reward, say 'ball', click when he touches it, reward, then add other items accordingly.

That kind of thing! Then if he is a smart cookie, you can expand to, 'get the ball' 'get the kong' etc...nope, not that one...yes, good boy, THAT one.
 
To be totally honest.. if you are going to be struggling to exercise him more than a couple of times a week long term/ on a semi-permanent basis.. I would be looking to rehome him. As you are not 'urgent' you could take your time and find him the perfect home (he sounds like an ideal candidate for agility/flyball). If you were determined to have a dog I would then recommend getting an older dog who just wanted to potter about the place with you-e.g the golen retriever mentioned on here earlier.
Sorry. I know that's not what you want to hear, but an understimulated collie is just going to get worse without oppurtunities to run off his energy
 
My first thought was, as others have posted, to try and find a local agility/flyball club and see if anyone there would consider training him. In the meantime I would try all the brain games suggested, you will be surprised how much mental stimulation tires a dog.
 
SusieT Unfortunately that is what my Mum said this morning when I told her about the stuff I had ordered for him. This is so hard, its breaking my heart. I wish he could talk and tell me what he wants, just seams so unfair, why should he have to go through this just cause of my illness? I won't give up yet though, I owe him that much!

Murphysminder, have rung up the dog training place up the road from us this morning. Unfortunately no answer so have left a message, if I don't hear anything today will call them again. They do agility, not sure about flyball.
 
Herbie31 said:
He's a heating engineer, working very long hours and most weekends, not getting home till about 7pm most nights - but thanks for your concern and your tone!!
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Long hours and a difficult job - especially this time of year.

But presumably he could contribute to the cost of a dog walker.

All I read in your post is reasons why things can't be done for your dog - not what can be done.

Hopefully you'll try and re-home it. Cayla on here may well be able to help.
 
Wherabouts are you? (sorry if you have said before but I haven't trawled through all the posts). Look on the British Flyball association website where you can find Flyball teams in your area. You may also be able to post on their forum to ask if there is anyone who could help with the exercising.
Good luck.
 
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