Help for nervous adult rider - suggestions?

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camilla4

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Okay peeps - I need your help for a friend of mine (yes, really - a friend!!). Having ridden a fair amount whilst growing up and always been a confident rider, she has returned to riding after a very long absence and is having major confidence issues. She has experienced a couple of horses spooking in the last year and, whilst not having been unseated, it has shaken her rather to the extent that she is now half-expecting any horse she is riding to do the same. I can see when watching her that, as soon as any horse she is on starts "looking" at anything or raises its head as it sees or hears something, she tenses and I'm afraid that one day this is actually going to cause a horse to spook when it hadn't originally had any intention of doing so!

Now, beyond ensuring that she tries to ride only very steady horses - what can she do? Apart from suggesting that she takes a slug from a hip flask before she rides, can any of you nervous nellies (and I know you're out there!) give her any help? I know that some people have had some success with NLP and I think she may be going to give Rescue Remedy a try but I'd like to round up as many suggestions as possible.

Very grateful for any help as I'd hate to see her give up!!
 
Well luckily she has not been unseated so that is a start! I am quite prepared for a spook esp on the roads, I do worry a little but heels down, stirrups quite long (i am tall which helps) and conveying relaxed vibes seems to work! If they spook they spook and i'll be ready with my legs and a stick in case of needing to move out of the way pronto (my old one I would just apply stick to shoulder just to remind her to stay on our side of road during a spook)! Suppose I have built this confidence by riding quite a spooky horse and current one is only occasional so it doesn't seem as bad! Is this when out and about or does she ride in a school as well?
 
Sounds like she doesn't own a horse but what I would suggest getting on as often as she can and stay within her comfort zone. Don't be pushed into going further or doing more than she wants.

On the livery yard wherre I am at you often see people buy a horse and the not ride it, making every excuse, such saying they haven't time and then fiddling about for an hour. It's quite sad and no ones fault. However I know they would feel fine in walk in the school so why not just get on even if it's for five minutes in walk a couple of times around the arena and then off.

Anxiety builds up, but if you are used to throwing your leg over every day it reduces.
I'm not a nervous rider and ended up getting on a horse that then threw me 5 time in 8 rides. I wouldn't recommend that, but when I got a different horse I made sure I rode him every day to banish this little tickle in the gut.
 
All I can suggest is what worked for me, which was to go for some very fast hacks including one where the horse bogged off with me... got the adrenaline flowing and reminded me why riding is fun, and that actually I can sit to spooks etc and not let it spoil my day.

It's a fairly drastic solution mind you;)
 
Spudlet said:
All I can suggest is what worked for me, which was to go for some very fast hacks including one where the horse bogged off with me... got the adrenaline flowing and reminded me why riding is fun, and that actually I can sit to spooks etc and not let it spoil my day.

It's a fairly drastic solution mind you;)
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I might suggest that, Spudlet!!!

Thanks, everyone. Yes, she is a non-owner and rides mainly in the school. The two spooks she had were on horses she hadn't ridden before and it's a bit of a shame that she is now expecting her regular horse to do the same. She is pretty good about consciously staying calm and relaxed but of course horses pick up on the tiniest thing and I don't think she's really fooling them. I have suggested that riding more often may help and I'll try and encourage her in this. In the meantime, I'm still thinking "hipflask"!! :)
 
For now I would keep her in a fairly controlled environment, either a field or a school or private land, & some lunge work as well. But unless she's a nervous wreck I would avoid total plods. Mainly because the contrast between slow plod & spooking can be a shock, I think something forwards but bombproof is better. Once her riding is good enough to deal with a spook I would let her deal with one & realise its not anything to worry about. And get her to sing when she starts getting nervous, it will relax her & a calm voice will relax the horse.
 
littlelegs said:
For now I would keep her in a fairly controlled environment, either a field or a school or private land, & some lunge work as well. But unless she's a nervous wreck I would avoid total plods. Mainly because the contrast between slow plod & spooking can be a shock, I think something forwards but bombproof is better. Once her riding is good enough to deal with a spook I would let her deal with one & realise its not anything to worry about. And get her to sing when she starts getting nervous, it will relax her & a calm voice will relax the horse.
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The singing is a good plan - thank you! She actually deals with the spooks pretty well when they happen - she was a reasonably competent rider in her youth and isn't anywhere near being unseated but it's the anticipation that is the problem now. I agree that spooks really aren't anything to worry about, especially in a school, as most horses spook and then stop, but the worry is making her tense and I'm sure that's causing a lot of problems that wouldn't otherwise be there. I'm not fazed by spooky behaviour so can't really work out how to help her - I'm hoping that someone on here can tell me if they've had the same concern and overcome it!
 
I would suggest that initially she rides a horse that does not spook. A well trained horse should not spook anyway!!!
 
OWLIE185 said:
I would suggest that initially she rides a horse that does not spook. A well trained horse should not spook anyway!!!
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She IS riding a horse that doesn't spook! Hasn't spooked once! Her problem is that, because of her recent experiences, she is still anticpating trouble and I'm trying to work out how to help her overcome this!!
 
OWLIE185 said:
I would suggest that initially she rides a horse that does not spook. A well trained horse should not spook anyway!!!
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If you can show me a horse that does not spook even a little when a pheasant flies out of a hedge into its face without warning, I will show you a stuffed horse. Even I spook when that happens!:D
 
Spudlet said:
If you can show me a horse that does not spook even a little when a pheasant flies out of a hedge into its face without warning, I will show you a stuffed horse. Even I spook when that happens!:D
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Quite agree, Spudlet - absolutely any horse can spook - some are just far less likely to than others. Pheasants have to be one of the biggest causes!!
 
If she's not already doing so, can she have some lessons at the local riding school?
They can help greatly, and can be put on horses who are brilliant for regaining confidence.
 
Oops took a while to type that and you'd replied since!
I'm sure the riding school must have afew 'bombproof' types, who won't pick up on nerves and therefore won't react, no matter how nervous she's feeling!
 
camilla4 said:
Quite agree, Spudlet - absolutely any horse can spook - some are just far less likely to than others. Pheasants have to be one of the biggest causes!!
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I nearly wet myself when my dog put one up right at my head this spring, I had no idea it was there and the damn thing just exploded out of the undergrowth like a bomb going off. If I'd been on a horse, we'd probably still be running now:o:D

I think that time in the saddle makes a big difference, if she really wants to get on top of this, she could even book a weekend away for some tuition and hacking. I think very well of this place, http://www.murthwaitegreen.co.uk/ which has some lovely, calm horses which are happy in their work, and excellent hacking on the beach or up the fells. I think she might surprise herself with how much her confidence grows.
 
Spudlet said:
I nearly wet myself when my dog put one up right at my head this spring, I had no idea it was there and the damn thing just exploded out of the undergrowth like a bomb going off. If I'd been on a horse, we'd probably still be running now:o:D

I.
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Had exactly the same thing happen last week when my Lab put one up about six inches in front of me - I was very glad not to be on a horse at that point!!! Even the steadiest neddy would have responded to that!

Thanks for suggestions re: a longer course and I do, in fact, think that might be the answer. A spell of total immersion might just get her part of the way over this hurdle.
 
I found Rescue Remedy helped me when I first got my horse and he was 'interesting' and I was slightly nervous. I gave myself some and him some on an apple. Don't know if it was all in my mind but it just made me feel calmer and seemed to chill him out a bit too.

THe other thing that helped me was thinking about what actually happened when he spooked/ was difficult in an objective way. Eg, Someone left the school and we were on our own (horse wise) with RI. My horse was calling and felt like he was going to explode or jump over the arena fence! He was beside himself. My RI kept telling me to just keep riding him and I did and eventually he calmed down but I felt sick. But once we had finished I looked at it more calmly and actually nothing awful happened. He could have gone broncing or tried to get me off, but he was just very tense and anxious and still listened to me more or less. Thinking like that really helped me put it into perspective and learn to trust my horse and myself. Maybe not as useful if your friend is riding different horses though.
 
Spudlet said:
If you can show me a horse that does not spook even a little when a pheasant flies out of a hedge into its face without warning, I will show you a stuffed horse. Even I spook when that happens!:D
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With you there, no such thing as totally bombproof, and if it is it's on rockers! OP, I was exactly the same as your friend, tense before anything happened and always looking for the next spook. Took me falling off once (genuine fright on the horses part) and then forcing myself to get on with it. Now my horse does occasionally spook, never when I expect it, and I sit to every one.( so far :D) think it is just a case of confidence growing and realising that it's never as bad as you expect it to be. Hope your friend perseveres and enjoys her riding :)
 
smokey said:
With you there, no such thing as totally bombproof, and if it is it's on rockers! OP, I was exactly the same as your friend, tense before anything happened and always looking for the next spook. Took me falling off once (genuine fright on the horses part) and then forcing myself to get on with it. Now my horse does occasionally spook, never when I expect it, and I sit to every one.( so far :D) think it is just a case of confidence growing and realising that it's never as bad as you expect it to be. Hope your friend perseveres and enjoys her riding :)
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Thank you, Smokey - that is encouraging! I actually think that if she did come off after a spook and found that it really wasn't that bad, it might help a great deal. Or it might put her off completely, of course! I think she is planning on trying some Rescue Remedy this week, so we'll see how that goes. If it works, I might get some myself for those more "interesting" horses :)
 
Spudlet said:
All I can suggest is what worked for me, which was to go for some very fast hacks including one where the horse bogged off with me... got the adrenaline flowing and reminded me why riding is fun, and that actually I can sit to spooks etc and not let it spoil my day.

It's a fairly drastic solution mind you;)
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Worked well for me was ! was very nervous riding my kids , calm sensible pony after years of not riding, now found a four year old , just broken mare to ride, and my confidence has shot up again, just needed to remember that i could do it, and that it was fun !!
 
Also get her really concentrating on what she's doing if anticipation is the issue. It doesn't need to be complex, halt/walk/ trot every 5 or 6 strides if that's all she's ready for, or get her to practice an easy intro or prelim test. Not so much to get it perfect but so she is thinking about something else other than what might happen.
 
Its just time really.I had a very spooky horse for a while and it terrified me.Got the newbie who is about as spook free as its possible for a horse to be and if he does spook at all its very gentle.The other one was a sharp spooker and I used to feel I was going to fall off all the time.It took me over 12 months to really begin to feel confident again and Iused to perch all the time, anticipating a spook.Couldn't help it.I just used to ride frequently but for short periods in the school where I felt safe.Have a wonderful instructor too.Try talking to her in the school about anything.What was on the telly, where she is going for her holidays, anything funny to make her laugh.Laughing is very good.
 
Can you suggest she takes a steady as bombproof as possible (having established that nothing is 100%) horse out on a gentle hack with an instructor / good calm rider. Ideally with your friend riding a horse she knows and trusts. I find that I become nervous in the school but out on a hack I'm fine - probably because I'm also enjoying the view, talking to the other rider and generally relaxed rather than concentrating on desperately trying to make sure horse and I are together, doing the right thing etc etc.
 
littlelegs said:
Also get her really concentrating on what she's doing if anticipation is the issue. It doesn't need to be complex, halt/walk/ trot every 5 or 6 strides if that's all she's ready for, or get her to practice an easy intro or prelim test. Not so much to get it perfect but so she is thinking about something else other than what might happen.[/QUOTE


This as well, or singing, but you have to keep singing no matter what! :)
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Someone mentioned laughing is good - if you are with her, try getting some little phrase or comment that you can use when you see her tense, so as horse lifts head/get tense, shout 'giraffe alert' or 'lion attack!' or summat daft, or start singing 'whats that coming over the hill....' so she will laugh rather than tense, and a few times doing that will become an automatic response, as it sounds like she's a decent enough rider who just needs to change her current conditioned response.
Speaking as a nervous rider myself, and having ridden out with other nervous riders! Chat and laughter is the best way of keeping relaxed.
We are currently working on laughing at shape-shifting non-existent sheep, and horse-eating boulders...... :rolleyes: *sigh*
 
Agree with the singing definitely, it keeps you breathing and therefore less tense. I'd also say getting on a horse as often as possible will help too. I've had my nervous stages and the best thing I can do is get on and get out there, maybe going slowly to start but still pushing my comfort zone a little more each time. It may take time but if she wants it enough she'll be able to do it slowly and surely. :)
 
Hi,

I went back into riding after a twenty year break and took some refresher lessons before buying my own ponio.

My Ponio was around 89.5% bombproof until I got a part loaner and he turned into spooky nightmare boy. I've tried a few things to help him and now he's much better.

Sounds to me as though your friend needs to work on her confidence to get the best out of the horses she rides.

My advice to your friend would be to ride in walk in the school for a few minutes - loosen the hips, move with the horse, breathe, only talk to horse for change of pace - tense/still rider makes tense horse. Play music loud on her phone/day dream whilst out to relax. Look ahead and don't look around for spooks.

Ride in company, chat, relax. If there is a major confidence issue then maybe a couple of RS lessons with a chilled out plod may help get her mojo back.

Worked for me.

:D
 
littlelegs said:
Also get her really concentrating on what she's doing if anticipation is the issue. It doesn't need to be complex, halt/walk/ trot every 5 or 6 strides if that's all she's ready for, or get her to practice an easy intro or prelim test. Not so much to get it perfect but so she is thinking about something else other than what might happen.
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This is great advice, it really helps me to stop worrying about the 'what ifs'

My mare can occasionally throw in some spectacular spooks, I have had to try to learn to sit them.
Lots of no stirrups work:eek: in a controlled environment (my lovely friend actually ran round the school next to me at first!!) has helped me to improve my balance and develop a more independent seat.
I'm not a very brave rider but on a good day I can actually laugh at her now, and ride her forward.
 
Well I know this will sound mad, but I'm very nervous, and even on a quiet horse, will be on the verge of a panic attack, but i sing. not at the top of my voice, but loud enough that the horse can hear, normally "you are my sunshine", as i love it and it relaxes me. always works. I do think it's because i relax, and then so does the horse, bt it's worth a try. xx
(by the way, if i sang at the top of my voice, I'd spook the horse).xx
 
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