Help, I think I have lost my nerve (completely)

[spottytom]

Back in February last year I bought myself an elderly thoroughbred gelding to hack about on and maybe progress to some low level dressage. However it soon became apparent I had seriously over estimated my abilities at the age of 63 and I took a nasty fall in the school ending up in A&E with broken ribs. The seller took him back at a greatly reduced price and I re-evaluated what I was looking for.

Fast forward to August last year and I bought a 4 year old 14.1hh chestnut coblet, over from Ireland. He was (and is) almost Mr Perfect. Obviously there is work to be done, but he suits my requirements. I am still absolutely terrified of going into the school therefore just hack out and about, both with friends and on my own.

Unfortunately earlier this year, whilst cantering across a field, with a friend riding in front of me, I found myself on the floor. I was so badly concussed I couldn’t tell you what happened. I didn’t know where I was or even the name of my pony. As I couldn’t remember anything I wasn’t too upset. I was, and am, convinced he didn’t buck as he has never shown any inclination to do so. I was back riding him within a couple of weeks.

Again fast forward to three weeks ago and I was simply walking behind a friend on her horse, along a hedge line at the edge of a field, when a pheasant flew right out in front of me. My pony did a very sharp shy to the left (almost a spin) and I hit the deck. Just bruising this time, but it scared me to death and I haven’t got on him since. I am now convinced this is what happened the first time. OK, so I am using the excuse at present that I am too bruised to get back on, but deep down I know I am going to find excuses for a long while. Pony is currently happy munching grass thinking he is in early retirement.

I would really welcome any advice. I am a little convinced that now I am 64 I should perhaps find a more sedate hobby. As one gets older do you lose the ability to stay with a shy or sudden movement? Prior to this I should say that I hadn’t fallen off for over 10 years! Apologies for the ramble.

 

[Sir barnaby]

Hi I am 70 years young and I bought Barney (left in picture) seven years ago and I am still riding him out hacking, I bought a acavello gel - in seat saver a few years ago and what a difference to my seat in the saddle. Barney is excellent hacking out but I have to say I never canter along hedgerows for that very same reason, pigeons and pheasants, foxes and even deer pop out now and again. If fact I very rarely canter on a hack anyway as I’m usually alone and don’t want to take the risk. He’s blind in one eye so can shy at his own shadow sometimes? I enjoy hacking at walk and trot and if I’m going up a hedgerow I whistle or sing or chat to Barney so the birds fly off before I’m too near them. Don’t be put off just take more care and be aware of what’s around you. All horses will spook if surprised it is their flight instincts but my seat saver certainly helps keep me securely in the saddle ??

 

[welshcobabe]

Well I am 62 and after losing my big lad 5 months ago I am now the proud owner of a half shire x who is just 6. I do have good support from friends and I do have panic feelings each time I ride but once on and going I feel great. In the time period of not having a horse I did stiffen up a bit but I am getting my fitness back I don't ride out on my own at the moment as I am only five weeks into getting to know him. But I do know I was not me while not having a horse in fact I aged during that time both mentally and physically but I now have a spring in my step again. My advice would be just keep going because if you don't use it you lose it. My confidence it getting better, but you have had a few nasty knocks so it does take time, give yourself a pat on the back do things at a slower pace and take your time and only ride out with friends that are understanding of your feelings it will come back don't give up.

 

[spottytom]

Thank you welshcobabe and Sir barnaby. I am certainly going to buy an acavello gel seat saver as a starter. I was thinking of trying a Bareback treeless saddle as they look a little more secure. I was only walking the second time I fell off, but really hit the ground with a thud and I only walk if riding out on my own. I am trying to not put too much pressure on myself at the moment.

 

[Littlebear]

Would an air jacket help? Maybe a deeper seated saddle also?

Birds flying out of hedge lines will be the death of me - happens all the time where I am, I try and walk the biggest distance I can and keep some outside flexion when I am at the worst parts.

 

[scruffyponies]

I'm a spring chicken at 50, but I think we all have moments when we feel unsteady or vulnerable. I can only tell you what I tell the children when they are having a wobble. Sing. It regulates your breathing, deepens your seat, and has a profound affect on your pony. I favour the theme from 'Rawhide' but no doubt any song will do.

 

[Sleipnir]

I was thinking of trying a Bareback treeless saddle as they look a little more secure.

Have a look at the Ghost Buttera saddle, they're extremely secure for a nervous rider/spooky horse.

 

[Annagain]

I'm a fair bit younger but have also suffered with my confidence after my old boy and my share horse both had to retire within a year of each other, I suffered two nasty falls while trying out new horses and then my new horse didn't quite work out - it was nobody's fault, we just weren't suited and I spent 18 months being really nervous on him but an air jacket did make a big difference to my confidence. I haven't actually fallen off in it so I've no idea if it helps physically but it certainly does mentally!

Take baby steps - even just getting on is an achievement so just aim for that for now.

 

[HappyHollyDays]

I’m 60 next week and came back to horses in my 50’s. Completely lost all confidence after very stupidly buying a 3 year old and having a nasty fall when he bucked in canter. Solution was to go and buy a been there, done everything, got the tee shirt ex show pony who had also done PC with a child. Confidence regained and the 3 year old is now 12, I always use a gel out seat saver and when confidence was fragile a RStore attached to his saddle but I still rarely canter him in company because unless he is in front he bucks. I am the complete opposite with my Connie, I will canter him anywhere, front, middle or behind because I trust him. The key is finding a horse you are completely comfortable with and the confidence will return.

 

[cauda equina]

I'm another (elderly) fan of gel out seat savers
They are so sticky, it's hard to get off even when you want to

 

[YoLaTango]

I'm a spring chicken at 50, but I think we all have moments when we feel unsteady or vulnerable. I can only tell you what I tell the children when they are having a wobble. Sing. It regulates your breathing, deepens your seat, and has a profound affect on your pony. I favour the theme from 'Rawhide' but no doubt any song will do.

I also sing. I find horses like it. I can almost see them relax into it. Though other people look at me oddly. I sing Christie Moores ‘ride on’. “True you ride the finest horse I ve ever seen…”.

 

[Goldenstar]

You need to increase your core strength this decreases as we age unless you intervene to build it .
Personally I going to go against the flow where and say I would counsel you to call it a day before you end up doing something that ends permanent impairment .
One of my horses came to me after his older rider was found unconscious with a life changing brain injury don’t be that person .

 

[Trouper]

It is really difficult to advise as everyone is different. I last fell off when I was 70 (bounced quite well though!!) and that was because of a dratted pheasant. As @Goldenstar says getting your core really strong will help as will doing exercises to strengthen leg muscles - I am really cross at how weak my legs feel now I am 75 so some squats or other leg strengthening exercises might help

I also had an Acavello gel out seat saver and always rode with a neck strap. If you want to try some canter work take a firm hold of the neck strap with both hands so you are ready for whichever way he goes.

I might also think of doing some lunge lessons so that I could work on my own riding with someone there to control the horse for you in a school setting.

Don't give up until you have tried everything!!!

 

[Lady Tinseltime]

It is really difficult to advise as everyone is different. I last fell off when I was 70 (bounced quite well though!!) and that was because of a dratted pheasant. As @Goldenstar says getting your core really strong will help as will doing exercises to strengthen leg muscles - I am really cross at how weak my legs feel now I am 75 so some squats or other leg strengthening exercises might help

I also had an Acavello gel out seat saver and always rode with a neck strap. If you want to try some canter work take a firm hold of the neck strap with both hands so you are ready for whichever way he goes.

I might also think of doing some lunge lessons so that I could work on my own riding with someone there to control the horse for you in a school setting.

Don't give up until you have tried everything!!!

So nice to hear another older person. I am 72 and have just had to retire boy. I am looking for another but I know I will have to be lucky to find something safe but not boring. Biggest fan of me getting another is my OH. Maybe he doesn't want me encroaching on his hobbies ??

 

[Skib]

Pheasants and spooks and horse taking off in fright are things that happen. But they are not part of regular normal riding. I always said to myself when riders I knew came to grief that it was like traffic accidents. You dont think you are going to be in a crash every time you drive to the supermarket.
I think that is what you are saying OP. That you hadnt fallen for 10 years and then you did.
My mother always said that falling is a hazard of riding and if you like riding and being with horses, I guess you accept that and get back in the saddle.
I dont really want to be glued to any saddle. I like to be able to shift and rebalance. But this age thing is a bit of a myth. I am 80 and no athlete. I fell off in January, but was unhurt thanks to bp. I resumed riding in March and this week cantered her about in the meadows like a Pony Club child. I dont do it to prove anything. I do it because being out with her is delicious.

Biggest fan of me getting another is my OH.

My OH too. Keeps me happy and relatively fit.

 

[ROMANY 1959]

Don’t know if anyone suggested, get yourself a stock saddle, brilliant. My son never fell off, and had several near misses, he plays Polocrosse, stock saddles are so much more secure

 

[asmp]

I would also suggest an air jacket (as above) plus a monkey strap - I find a neck strap makes me lean forward. The first time after I bought my air jacket when my horse spooked I thought “I’m not getting it muddy so soon” and hung on!

 

[spottytom]

Thank you everyone so much. Lots of excellent advice and lots to think about. I am ordering an Acavello seat saver to try to start with and have decided to take things very slowly for now. I am also going to look at stock saddles as I had heard elsewhere that they keep you very secure but had forgotten. Most of all it’s so encouraging to hear that “older” ladies are still out there hacking and enjoying a very active life x

 

[Pinkvboots]

Thank you welshcobabe and Sir barnaby. I am certainly going to buy an acavello gel seat saver as a starter. I was thinking of trying a Bareback treeless saddle as they look a little more secure. I was only walking the second time I fell off, but really hit the ground with a thud and I only walk if riding out on my own. I am trying to not put too much pressure on myself at the moment.

I have a gel out one for sale if your interested just pm me

It massively helped me on a slippery show saddle which I no longer ride in

 

[irishdraft]

Yes you most definitely become loose in the saddle as you age . I'm not the best at sharp sideways movements and I am riding fit but 62 & have noticed I seem to fly off quite easily luckily seem to land lightly. If your cob is only 4 it's likely he will be spooky on occasions so a saddle with blocks and full seat breeches help to keep you in the saddle .

 

[SEL]

Western saddles can also make you feel very secure. My friend is in her 70s and always rides with her air jacket on now to help her confidence

 

[chocolategirl]

Back in February last year I bought myself an elderly thoroughbred gelding to hack about on and maybe progress to some low level dressage. However it soon became apparent I had seriously over estimated my abilities at the age of 63 and I took a nasty fall in the school ending up in A&E with broken ribs. The seller took him back at a greatly reduced price and I re-evaluated what I was looking for.

Fast forward to August last year and I bought a 4 year old 14.1hh chestnut coblet, over from Ireland. He was (and is) almost Mr Perfect. Obviously there is work to be done, but he suits my requirements. I am still absolutely terrified of going into the school therefore just hack out and about, both with friends and on my own.

Unfortunately earlier this year, whilst cantering across a field, with a friend riding in front of me, I found myself on the floor. I was so badly concussed I couldn’t tell you what happened. I didn’t know where I was or even the name of my pony. As I couldn’t remember anything I wasn’t too upset. I was, and am, convinced he didn’t buck as he has never shown any inclination to do so. I was back riding him within a couple of weeks.

Again fast forward to three weeks ago and I was simply walking behind a friend on her horse, along a hedge line at the edge of a field, when a pheasant flew right out in front of me. My pony did a very sharp shy to the left (almost a spin) and I hit the deck. Just bruising this time, but it scared me to death and I haven’t got on him since. I am now convinced this is what happened the first time. OK, so I am using the excuse at present that I am too bruised to get back on, but deep down I know I am going to find excuses for a long while. Pony is currently happy munching grass thinking he is in early retirement.

I would really welcome any advice. I am a little convinced that now I am 64 I should perhaps find a more sedate hobby. As one gets older do you lose the ability to stay with a shy or sudden movement? Prior to this I should say that I hadn’t fallen off for over 10 years! Apologies for the ramble.

Not much help sorry as I’m a very nervous rider these days. I’m 57 and have ridden since I was 8. My horse who I’ve had for 12 years will be my last. I love her dearly, but she can be extremely spooky so I have to be ‘ready’ all the time. It doesn’t stop me riding, but it has taken a lot of the enjoyment out of it, and at my age, the thought of starting on a new horse is just a big no no for me. I really admire your determination and if it’s what you really want, I would get some professional help and stick with it! I know lots of people who still ride in their 60’s and 70’s, I just don’t plan to be one of them?

 

[ycbm]

Thank you everyone so much. Lots of excellent advice and lots to think about. I am ordering an Acavello seat saver to try to start with and have decided to take things very slowly for now. I am also going to look at stock saddles as I had heard elsewhere that they keep you very secure but had forgotten. Most of all it’s so encouraging to hear that “older” ladies are still out there hacking and enjoying a very active life x

I'm 64 and about to teach the horse I backed when I was 60 to jump. I don't get on without an air jacket on.

I hope you recover your gumption, your pony sounds ace.
.

 

[spottytom]

I have a gel out one for sale if your interested just pm me

It massively helped me on a slippery show saddle which I no longer ride in

Wish I had seen your offer sooner - just ordered one off Amazon. Thank you tho x

 

[Pinkvboots]

Wish I had seen your offer sooner - just ordered one off Amazon. Thank you tho x

At least you will have one they are really good let us know how you get on.

 

[spottytom]

Thank you again everyone. Have now ordered an Acavello pad. I do have lots of lovely support at my yard and have put pony (Alfie) on part livery during the week now so that he gets ridden more regularly, as during term time I only get to ride at weekends. I know buying a 4 year old was a risk (he has now turned 5), but he came over from Ireland with quite an old head on young shoulders. He is absolutely rock solid, apart from the odd shy - which is obviously expected in both young and older horses. I havent had him a year yet but I love him to bits - he is so full of character!

Good luck to all you 'oldies' out there - and thank you for your encouragement x

 

[Twoblueeyes]

Back in February last year I bought myself an elderly thoroughbred gelding to hack about on and maybe progress to some low level dressage. However it soon became apparent I had seriously over estimated my abilities at the age of 63 and I took a nasty fall in the school ending up in A&E with broken ribs. The seller took him back at a greatly reduced price and I re-evaluated what I was looking for.

Fast forward to August last year and I bought a 4 year old 14.1hh chestnut coblet, over from Ireland. He was (and is) almost Mr Perfect. Obviously there is work to be done, but he suits my requirements. I am still absolutely terrified of going into the school therefore just hack out and about, both with friends and on my own.

Unfortunately earlier this year, whilst cantering across a field, with a friend riding in front of me, I found myself on the floor. I was so badly concussed I couldn’t tell you what happened. I didn’t know where I was or even the name of my pony. As I couldn’t remember anything I wasn’t too upset. I was, and am, convinced he didn’t buck as he has never shown any inclination to do so. I was back riding him within a couple of weeks.

Again fast forward to three weeks ago and I was simply walking behind a friend on her horse, along a hedge line at the edge of a field, when a pheasant flew right out in front of me. My pony did a very sharp shy to the left (almost a spin) and I hit the deck. Just bruising this time, but it scared me to death and I haven’t got on him since. I am now convinced this is what happened the first time. OK, so I am using the excuse at present that I am too bruised to get back on, but deep down I know I am going to find excuses for a long while. Pony is currently happy munching grass thinking he is in early retirement.

I would really welcome any advice. I am a little convinced that now I am 64 I should perhaps find a more sedate hobby. As one gets older do you lose the ability to stay with a shy or sudden movement? Prior to this I should say that I hadn’t fallen off for over 10 years! Apologies for the ramble.

if you can hack with a calm friend just go out for 10 mins. Walk side by side where possible then return to the yard. Don’t put pressure on yourself to rush things.

 

[SpotsandBays]

What about doing some groundwork/spook busting with him? Will help strengthen your trust/bond and also be beneficial to him too.
Good luck!

 

[SpotsandBays]

Oh and Yoga/Pilates to help with your core and balance? Loads of free videos on YouTube to follow!

 

[eahotson]

Like you I am old.I have found that the older you get the more aware you are of falling getting/hurt.I have struggled to mount over the last 3 to 4 years.It has been getting worse and so has my back.I put it down to being old/nothing can be done etc.Things got very bad. I was finally driven to doing something I should have done years ago.I have found a really good chiropracter practice that also does sports massages,As an aside these are not fun but highly effective.I am now doing rehab exercises, feel better than I have for years.Rehab is helping me with core and leg strength.
If, of course, this had been my dog/horse I would have had the vet/physio out years ago!!!