Help me decide: Am I being mad, or should I go for it?

milliepops said:
Well you seem pretty set on the idea...
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Not set on the idea of this horse, but I am set on the idea of a horse again in the near future. whether that be loan, lwvtb, buy or share is yet undecided upon.

I have always had a thing for TBs, and I do think i will end up with an ex racer- whether that be an uninjured one or one that hasn't made the grade i couldn't tell you. For what I want it for a mild (I am waiting for the scan report- should I go any further) tendon strain with plenty of rest and rehab shouldn't be an issue. Yes there are lots of sound ones too but I don't see why an injured one shouldn't be given a chance too.
 
so practically if OH is working away all week where is baby going to be when you are horsing? I actually think him being 'out the way' all week might complicate things. How long do you have before going back to work? I'm thinking it would be sensible to do that transition first then work out where a horse would fit in?
 
Flyermc said:
They really do not stay babies forever.
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Totally agree- I can see this already.

Its really hard isn't it- I am well aware the most sensible option is to either share or just have lessons for some time- especially if baby number 2 happens in a few years. Given my husbands likely wrath if a new horse makes an appearance its likely I shall do the above option rather than take the plunge- no matter how much I want to.

Im lucky when I go back to work in October it will only be 3 days per week rather than full time, although he takes up so much of my time I know it will be tricky fitting it all in.

Sometimes I do think that it would be lovely just to have a horse to go and see in a field and make a fuss of every now and then- and for W to grow up having another animal around- i think that is definitely a sign that I am horse horse crazy/missing them!
 
Dusty85 said:
Not set on the idea of this horse, but I am set on the idea of a horse again in the near future. whether that be loan, lwvtb, buy or share is yet undecided upon.

I have always had a thing for TBs, and I do think i will end up with an ex racer- whether that be an uninjured one or one that hasn't made the grade i couldn't tell you. For what I want it for a mild (I am waiting for the scan report- should I go any further) tendon strain with plenty of rest and rehab shouldn't be an issue. Yes there are lots of sound ones too but I don't see why an injured one shouldn't be given a chance too.
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I think a TB will a mild well managed injury should be given a chance too and it's not as if you going to expect him to do a 4* .
I think the question is is he the right horse for you at this stage .
I would get riding now somehow you may find you feel very differently about it now I have several friends who struggled with riding after be coming a Mum the first time so I think you need to know that before you embark on owning again .
I think a share would be a great start point .
But a horse out of training , you a new mum - you know it may be fine but it could be a big disaster .
 
Mad idea, unless you have a lot of support.

If you are going to be busy with a young baby and you want to also make sure you have enough time to spend with your husband at weekends then unless you have a lot support to help you, you probably need something low maintenance and that does not need to have a lot training, so if you need to divert time to family issues you can leave the horse for a bit and then get back on again without any issues. At the moment you don't even know if this horse will be a sensible hack.

If you have the budget to be able to afford one, then why not buy a horse you know is a sound, sensible hack and that you if you could not ride for a bit due to family commitments you could get back on again without any problems?

I am sort of wondering if you are thinking of him as a potential cheap event horse rather than a sensible hack.
 
Bad idea.

Really the breeding doesn't matter with a gelding. I would say that all TB horses are well bred!

A good idea would be to find a nice sane share horse, or someone who wants theirs exercised. Then you could have a bit of me time with no financial commitment and will have time for OH at the weekends, not having to rush down to see horse every evening and leave the baby with OH - which I guess would not go down well.

This is from someone who bought a horse while still breastfeeding and used to take horse, baby and girl to mind baby while I rode. (Note: OH nowhere to be seen). I was mad and wouldn't recommend frankly, although the horse was nice and I should have kept it and not got something more high powered.
 
SO1 said:
I am sort of wondering if you are thinking of him as a potential cheap event horse rather than a sensible hack.
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Definitely not. As much as I would love to continue to have my great career, pop out babies, be a social butterfly and pop around Badminton on my string of 10 horses I sadly think that for the next 8-10 year at least my eventing ship and sailed sadly.

This is a horse for having a horse. Pootling about the lanes, ideally if he is capable and not crazy then the odd days hunting. I like TBs and that type of horse so that is likely what I will go for.
 
Orangehorse said:
This is from someone who bought a horse while still breastfeeding and used to take horse, baby and girl to mind baby while I rode. (Note: OH nowhere to be seen). I was mad and wouldn't recommend frankly, although the horse was nice and I should have kept it and not got something more high powered.
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Not just me then eh?!
 
Dusty85 said:
Totally agree- I can see this already.

Its really hard isn't it- I am well aware the most sensible option is to either share or just have lessons for some time- especially if baby number 2 happens in a few years. Given my husbands likely wrath if a new horse makes an appearance its likely I shall do the above option rather than take the plunge- no matter how much I want to.

Im lucky when I go back to work in October it will only be 3 days per week rather than full time, although he takes up so much of my time I know it will be tricky fitting it all in.

Sometimes I do think that it would be lovely just to have a horse to go and see in a field and make a fuss of every now and then- and for W to grow up having another animal around- i think that is definitely a sign that I am horse horse crazy/missing them!
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its a shame your not closer, my pony is no TB but would be happy for a fuss, carrots and a hack out, lol. im now getting abit big to ride for much longer (currently 26 weeks) but he's such a good boy, that when im ready to jump back on board in several months time, he's not going to do anything silly.
 
Thanks- Yes that does sound good! I had a bumpy pregnancy so riding was off the cards really from quite early on sadly, hence selling Henry as he was too young to sit about doing nothing. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well, and you get back on promptly and safely.
 
I have the potential for child free horse time at the weekends, currently with a newborn and toddler in preschool I could technically do stuff in the arena 3 days a week. My horse has other ideas, he's lame, did I mention that yet ;) But every time at the weekend i rush to get back, as again its our only real family time, plus the oh works all week and also needs some time to do his thing.

But if I had a job, there would be no chance, unless I ride on the late evenings in the summer after bedtime, I managed that once last year!

Currently have 2 5yo whw ponies lounging about, who I've now realised are too sharp to make a trustworthy lead rein pony and I'm stuck as I have zero time for them. So don't know if to find a rider for them, or try and swap them in whw for a more sensible pony, or loan one. Don't really need 4 equine, one lame, two not properly backed and one lead rein pony :D
 
Soundness issues apart (and it takes at least as much money and time to care for a good horse as a lame or unsuitable one), in your situation I wouldn't have thought it was a great idea to buy a horse you haven't tried under saddle. I don't know how the practicalities of your life are set up, but looking after a baby, and later on looking after a baby and working, when your husband is away all week means you really don't want to get injured. Yes injury is a risk on and around any horse, but some more than others. I have known and ridden a number of ex racers who were and are lovely safe fun horses, but they weren't all like that for the first few months of their retraining, even after having been turned away for several months after coming out of racing.

I get that at this point you want a fun horse rather than a world beater, but what if you find this chap is one of those who isn't much fun at all if he's not ridden six times a week without fail? Or if when you finally get on him and it just isn't right?

If your heart is set on owning a horse, and an ex racer specifically, why not go to one of the charities where they may have already made a start on the retraining, they have a good idea how it's likely to take to life as a leisure horse, and you can try before you buy?
 
I'm going to go against the grain and say yes, it's the sort of thing I may well do.....
Only you know whether you will genuinely have the time for it, so be really strict with yourself when considering whether you really do or not. But otherwise, yeah, why not. You've already planned what you you would do if it didn't work out.
 
Right other important thought.

If it does go tits up/you find you can't do it you might need something fairly easy to sell on again :p
 
OP I wouldn't. You may find time wise that he needs more than you can give at the moment. And don't underestimate the power of your preservation instincts post baby! I'd just backed my 4yo when I got pregnant and didn't get back on until baby was 7 weeks. Although he's a really genuine horse my head was full of thoughts of falling off and leaving my little boy without a mother. I'm fine now, but I wouldn't want that feeling with a horse I didn't know and trust. And I have to say, babies don't work to a schedule so the work tends to be very stop start, which may not be ideal.
 
Sounds like great fun - and if you're confident that the horse is what they say it is - then go for it.

My only concern is without vetting - you could be paying more than just for your baby's nappies in the future - is it worth checking out what the damage could be later down the line?

Another question/consideration; would be - sure your husband is away and you need to be entertained - but if it did go wrong, is there anyone around who would be able to 'rescue' you? Sounds horrid, but I've seen it happen.

Sounds super fun though if all goes right!! Best of luck
 
jumping.jack_flash said:
So . ..you have basically invited to be "Roasted" . .so here goes.

Totally get why you would be considering . .i do . . But . .

Slightly unfair on other half, if he's working all week, and you have just had a baby, don't you think your priorities are slightly out of sync?
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Why is it unfair on OH? I'm confused by this statement. OP has said she'd have plenty of family time at weekends and for all we know they are millionaires!

My only concern would be how often you are able to ride during the week. I'm not sure this horse would be the sort you could just tack up and go after a few days off. I also think you have to 'sell' it to your OH. You might be more than capable of fitting it all in but resentment destroys relationships. If you aren't able to have that me time you'll end up resentful and if you do it without his support he could. You need to be talking about this first really.
 
Lots of really good advice on here. Is it a head or heart decision? I would go for it but with eyes wide open and an exit strategy in place. Do you have somewhere to keep the horse at home or a yard in mind? Will it be on full livery or D.I.Y?
I like the idea that the horse is turned away at the moment and you are very busy with baby. That seems good timing to me.
I'm a sucker for a TB too. You could always get a sharer to help you with the TB if you are finding it too much in the future assuming he turns out to be sane and sensible.

For how to event with a baby, please look up some of the posts written by HotToTrot, hysterical insight into breastfeeding and course walking, collecting rings etc.
 
meleeka said:
Why is it unfair on OH? I'm confused by this statement. OP has said she'd have plenty of family time at weekends and for all we know they are millionaires!

My only concern would be how often you are able to ride during the week. I'm not sure this horse would be the sort you could just tack up and go after a few days off. I also think you have to 'sell' it to your OH. You might be more than capable of fitting it all in but resentment destroys relationships. If you aren't able to have that me time you'll end up resentful and if you do it without his support he could. You need to be talking about this first really.
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If OP is a millionaire she would be able to pay for nanny to look after infant and get a decent horse, not look for something cheap.
 
It does sound quite a bonkers plan to me I'm afraid! Although much depends on what you have available in the way of childcare - if you can afford paid-for childcare or you have a friend or relative close by who will look after baby whilst you ride during the week then it is more doable. But if not, it doesn't really sound the best plan taking on a horse who will probably need plenty of time to be retrained to do the job you want, when you have limited time to ride and when you say you are not feeling the most confident anyway. He might be one of the more quiet and calm racehorses on the yard at the moment, but will he be that way when in limited work?

Why not look for a horse to share or loan for now and get back into riding regularly with a lower level of commitment until you know you are feeling confident enough for something more challenging. If after that you really do want to buy a TB then why not look for one that has already been retrained and is already doing the job you want it to do, especially as you say finance is not an issue.
 
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I'm a bit confused. The horse is 100% sound but would need to be turned away for several months, which you would be happy with. Is that because that, although sound, his injury isn't yet properly healed? If so, the best case scenario where he heals perfectly with no veterinary intervention, is happy on grass livery and doesn't do anything stupid in the field he'll cost you at least £150 a month. Let's say for argument's sake he's out of action another 6 months. That's £900 you could have saved and put towards a sound, tried and tested horse when you're ready and you're not taking any risk.

Also, while it may feel like you will have time now, I'd wait until you're back in work and reassess how much time you actually have before taking the plunge. There will always be plenty of ex-racers looking for homes.
 
I don't think I'm old enough to make a descion here but where are you going to keep him. At a yard down the road I live on, lady has 5 or 6 horses and brings the baby to the yard. My old DIY yard owner had the same situation. Baby sits in corner in a pram or seat and has others watching out for it while they're riding or otherwise occupied.
 
I think you're mad. I'm a mother to a 4 year old and a 2 year old and I have very little spare time. I'm not sure what your child care situation is, yes at this age baby can sit in the pram/ push chair while you attend to the horse, but once they get more mobile, they get bored easily. Mine wouldn't sit still for more than five minutes and couldn't be trusted not to run between a horses back legs if they were loose. I can only go to the yard when someone can watch them, so I'm sticking to helping someone exercise a couple of times a week until they're both at school.
 
I would find a nice easy thing to share, seems to be plenty around. Do you have child care in place for when you ride ? My kids would NEVER sit in a push chair while I rode, they would scream the place down. Don't make life any harder for yourself would be my advice. :-)
 
Dulciedusty I'm afraid that's one of my pet hates. Dumping the baby in a pushchair in a corner and expecting others to keep an eye on it is unfair on the other liveries, and grossly unfair on the baby. I'm sure I'll be jumped on for saying that but it's my opinion. If I had to do that I'd give up horses for a while I'm afraid. I do the pushchair thing while he is asleep but he stays behind a gate, despite the horses being sensible. And the minute he wakes up he either goes to play with OH, or I stop what I'm doing and give him my undivided attention.
 
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