Help Needed - Hacked Hair :(

Having experienced this repeatedly over the years, I know exactly what you're feeling. For the forelock get a thinning rake and try and get the bottom slightly less bulky then get scissors and snip upwards like they do at the hairdressers, little tiny bits at a time and it'll look more natural if that makes sense? It will be short but now when it'll grow out it will look more natural, also tidy up the mane a bit so it'll be same length. Regarding tail not much you can do, my mum once cut my traditional cobs poker straight above his hock, but maybe plait it and leave it in a tail bag? Next thing you know you'll take it out and be shocked by the length of it, trust me it grows back quicker than you think :)

Also, we don't know whats going on with the mum. As OP said, she was ill and doing A-levels, her mum seems fairly competent if not a bit sneaky, surely you would like any help you could get. She asked about what to do with mane and tail, shouldn't have to explain life story :)
 
Okay, might just me being picky so feel free to ignore. But why wasn't he turned out earlier? I genuinely don't understand leaving a horse stood in until midday, or even until ten in the morning - if mine are in overnight then the very latest that I turn out for is eight o'clock, and I prefer it to be earlier. It was a Sunday, surely it would have been simplest to turn out really early, go home and study, and catch in to ride later on as a reward for yourself? That way no mucking out needed until bringing back in time :)
 
OP I think if you want it long it won't take long to grow.

I grew out Frank's hog long and it just didn't occur to me to pull his mane but admit several years later he looked much smarter for it. Your lad does look quite welshie and if he were mine I would pull his mane - having fully grown it will stay over much better now and keep his tail like that and do whatever works best for the feathers :) - I've clipped F's off before now when needed too
 
Move out of home with your self & your horse to do your A Level.Pay someone to look after your horse when you have a cold . Problem solved .The hair will grow back.
 
OP - I would be getting up and out of bed earlier, getting my horse mucked and turned out myself, and then come home and start my work for the day, not leaving him stood in till 12 (which you did have as your plan).

The hair will grow back.
His tail looks fine, my mare has hers not much further down below her hocks like that and carries her tail high occasionally and looks fine.

If you don't want your mum interfering, then don't allow her the opportunity to volunteer.
 
ester said:
OP I think if you want it long it won't take long to grow.

I grew out Frank's hog long and it just didn't occur to me to pull his mane but admit several years later he looked much smarter for it. Your lad does look quite welshie and if he were mine I would pull his mane - having fully grown it will stay over much better now and keep his tail like that and do whatever works best for the feathers :) - I've clipped F's off before now when needed too
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Fingers crossed it doesn't take long to grow, tried to thin it a bit today and it looks a bit better, but still like it's been hacked at.
The underneath is shorter than the top, there's a huge section right in the middle of his face gone and after 15 minutes he snapped the baler twine and I gave up :(

He won't tolerate having his mane pulled, and I don't want to have a go at it with scissors either so I might just wait until he's had his teeth done which is normally when he's clipped as well and give him an all over tidy up then. It won't be for another few weeks, so I can at least see how he looks then before I decide what I'm doing.

His feather grows back a lot faster in winter too as he turns into a mammoth so hoping that will all have grown back in the next few weeks when he starts growing his winter coat. As much as I like him with a bit of feather, when they end up caked it's so much easier just to snip them off and let them grow back.
 
If my 18 yo daughter had posted this I would give her a slap, then cut of the rest of her pony's mane and tail with a hedge clippers, then sell it. Then cut off her hair with the hedge clippers.
 
daughter's groom said:
If my 18 yo daughter had posted this I would give her a slap, then cut of the rest of her pony's mane and tail with a hedge clippers, then sell it. Then cut off her hair with the hedge clippers.
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Gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think that OP's post is a bit of a cry for help: sad that a child has to plan her life around moving out asap, I had to do it, I would much rather have had a happy and loving home life to be honest.
Why not have horse out 24/7, its cheaper, easier and more natural, is it stabled to reduce weight, perhaps?
Parents should realise that children are for life not just for benefits.
 
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daughter's groom said:
If my 18 yo daughter had posted this I would give her a slap, then cut of the rest of her pony's mane and tail with a hedge clippers, then sell it. Then cut off her hair with the hedge clippers.
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And this is the problem with people who have to take charge :rolleyes3: and think that everyone should be grateful for the "help" they dole out. (Given your post I am assuming you think the OPs mother was being helpful cutting the hair she had been told not to cut).

At 18 your daughter is an adult, you'd be unable to do anything to her hair. If the OP was your daughter you'd not be able to sell her horse either, as the OP is the owner not the mother. You probably would be able to cut off the horses hair without being stopped if you knew where it was stabled, but as the horse would not be your property you really shouldn't.

Oh, I missed the bit where you said you'd give her a slap. My mum used to threaten this too if I tried to make a choice she disagreed with.
 
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OP dont be tempted to hog it, you will have to then deal with the spikey stage and train it over to the side which is just a pain the the butt. Your pony is not heavy enough to carry off the show cob look. Sit on your hands and in a months time things will be better
 
Sugar_and_Spice said:
And this is the problem with people who have to take charge :rolleyes3: and think that everyone should be grateful for the "help" they dole out. (Given your post I am assuming you think the OPs mother was being helpful cutting the hair she had been told not to cut).

At 18 your daughter is an adult, you'd be unable to do anything to her hair. If the OP was your daughter you'd not be able to sell her horse either, as the OP is the owner not the mother. You probably would be able to cut off the horses hair without being stopped if you knew where it was stabled, but as the horse would not be your property you really shouldn't.

Oh, I missed the bit where you said you'd give her a slap. My mum used to threaten this too if I tried to make a choice she disagreed with.
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Well said!!!!!!
 
Not read all the replies.

Hair will grow but the trust and relationship with your mother is damaged and I would be more worried by that. Life is too short and although family at times seem to be on this planet to test and try our patience and it is only when that family member is no longer there that you actually appreciate what they did for you.
 
I'm not very much older than you, and although I can see you being upset, I think you've been angry with your mum for long enough now. What's done is done, and life is far too short to hold grudges or fall out over something as silly as this. My mum accidentally trimmed my little Welsh boy's beautiful tail far too short, and I never even thought to fall out with her over it, simply because I love her far more than I loved his hair, however beautiful it was. Admittedly, it was an accident on her part, so slightly different, but I had warned her before the chop that it was easy to take too much off, and to wait for me to do it. However, mum knew best! I had a couple of minutes of incredulity, and then we laughed about it. Trust me, it felt much better than being angry would have.

That said, I do know how frustrating it is to have a beautiful mane and tail, that you've spent so long growing, ruined in minutes. When he moved to our current livery yard, my little Welsh boy managed to get brambles tangled in his shoulder length mane and his lovely long forelock, and all of the top of his mane and the whole of his forelock had to be hacked off. It's less than a year on, and his hair has been back to its full glory for at least six months, so it grows back quicker than you might think. You'd never even know it had happened now. Your boy will look as lovely as he ever did in no time at all too - I guarantee it :)
 
OP, I would try to thin the forelock, then pull a little of the mane forward between the ears, for when riding or at shows. The tail looks easily sorted. If he's that headshy, I'd look into using positive reinforcement to make things easier. There are plenty of behaviourists who can get you started. :)
 
Good lord. I DID read all the replies from the helpful to the irrelevant to the unrealistic and the aggressive! I am SO glad my mum is scared of horses!

Clearly this is a basic issue of trust which has been broken. Clear instructions have been given re what to do, what not to do... There was no right to cut any hair, and it's worse because that person is Mum, who we SHOULD be able to trust more than anyone else in the world.

You can't say 'she means well'. My sharer would 'mean well' if she took my horse hacking, but I've forbidden it and I expect her to do what I say! As adults, that's an inalienable right.

I'm sure it will grow back quickly OP. Growing vibes from me.
 
LittleRocketRider said:
Er ...am i the only one who thinks the tail looks a good length?
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No, I think the tail looks perfect, especially coming into winter I like to have them fairly short to keep them out of the mud, even in summer I wouldn't want them much longer.

Forelock looks a good length too now, I'd just neaten it up a little, it's not a difficult job to shorten the rest of the mane to match, he'll look really smart once that is all done.
 
Remembering that we only hear one side of a story . . .

As a mother myself I can't help wondering what the conversation where the mother "volunteered" to go and let the horse out, muck out etc actually sounded like. I also wonder how many similar conversations there had been before along similar lines.
 
It will grow back - and his tail looks fine to me. I think you need to take a step back. Why fall out big time over something that is ultimately trivial in the great scheme of things? I don't know, and don't presume to know, what your relationship with her is like, but, you only ever have one mum, and mums, to me, are to be treasured. Hide the scissors, or even better, as another poster has suggested, plan your day better so that you make time to do your pony yourself, then there is no need for her to be involved.
 
i feel a little for the OP, it’s not that trivial really. OP is an adult and lovely of her Mum though it was to help her she shouldn’t have done something she knew her daughter had asked her not to do. I’m sure the OP was extremely grateful to her Mum for the help, the help however shouldn’t come at a cost like this, it also runs deeper as the OP will be finding her feet as a adult and her Mum needs to respect she has some rights now as an adult - for example stating she doesn’t want her horse’s mane to be cut. There will be those who say that if she is still being supported by her parents and accepting help from them then she should suck it up and be grateful but actually it’s not as simple as all that. The OP could well be a respectful and wholly appreciative daughter who is grateful for all the support and help she receives from her parents.

I remember being newly qualified as a teacher and when my first parent’s evening came up I didn’t have anyone to look after my dog. My Mum offered to come round and ‘dog sit’ for the evening. Now my Mum loved to throw a ball for my dog but I specifically told her not to do it for too long as being a collie, this dog would not stop when she was tired or had had enough. I came home to find my dog crippled , lame on every leg! Turns out my mother disregarded what I said completely and had used a bit of wood as a ‘bat’ and sent the tennis ball up and down the garden from the patio until my dog had run on the paving slabs so much her feet ended up bleeding where her pads were worn. I was extremely grateful for the offer of help but I was well within my rights to be furious and upset. We did fall out over it, briefly.. but I learned just not to accept any offer of help again ;) OP your pony’s hair will grow back but it might be an idea to find another person to rely on in future.
 
Oh good grief, is this thread still rumbling on?!

It's a bit of hair! Yes, annoying and upsetting, but seriously, it's not at third world problem. There are people out there who are going through hell within their family lives, and some are moaning about a bit of forelock which will grow back!

Families are annoying at times, so are grumpy teenagers. It's a pretty common occurrence for a mother and daughter to be at loggerheads.
 
Moomin1 said:
Oh good grief, is this thread still rumbling on?!

It's a bit of hair! Yes, annoying and upsetting, but seriously, it's not at third world problem. There are people out there who are going through hell within their family lives, and some are moaning about a bit of forelock which will grow back!

Families are annoying at times, so are grumpy teenagers. It's a pretty common occurrence for a mother and daughter to be at loggerheads.
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LOL, but you've posted 5 times the thread ! I think everyone realises it's not a 3rd world problem, like most threads on HHO, but it sparked an interest, hence the number of contributions from people.
 
jemima*askin said:
Remembering that we only hear one side of a story . . .

As a mother myself I can't help wondering what the conversation where the mother "volunteered" to go and let the horse out, muck out etc actually sounded like. I also wonder how many similar conversations there had been before along similar lines.
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Conversation started with mum asking what time was I planning to go up to get him sorted, to which I said around 12 probably.
Mum then said she would go and muck him out and turn him out for me so I could get work finished as the yard was on her way home.
I then said I would go up and ride later, so to just pick his feet out before she puts him into the field as I would groom him and do his feeds then.
Mum said that was fine, she would muck him out and turn him out to his field for me.

When I got home on Sunday I spoke to her about it, and made it clear I was unhappy and when it comes to my horse, no means no not do it when I'm not around. Even if it's something as small as mum bringing up 3 apples to give him, and I say no, he can have 1.

It's not the cutting of his forelock that has upset me the most, it's the fact she did something after she had been told not to do it, and knew by doing it she would make me angry before she even cut it.

I think I'm just going to gradually work on his forelock, and shape it as it grows and leave his mane until I get the chance to tidy him up as I'd originally planned :)
 
sasquatch said:
As for those who seem to think it's not okay to tell mum not to do something to my horse - if she wasn't my mother and instead was another livery, a sharer, YO, YM etc. would you still say the same thing?
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But she IS your mother! I am quite frankly gobsmacked that anyone thinks it's ok to 'tell' or 'instruct' a parent to do or not do something when you're 17 or 18 years old and still living under their roof.

As Annagain says, I too would have got a metaphorical (and justified) boot up my backside for being a rude brat had I done anything like that.
 
I think OP you are being very mature at dealing with the grief you are getting on here! I would be livid if my mum did that to my horse. At no point did you ask others opinion on what sort of turnout the horse should have. You want him to have a long mane and your mum hacked it off. I would be spitting! So, I don't have anything to add but I would walk away from this thread now as the telling you how you should be running your life has started.
 
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