Help! Nervous, spooky horse & nervous creaky rider!

[lynseylou1]

There isn't an equestrian on the planet who hasn't, at some point in their life, been ready to make a Faustian pact with the devil for a result from a wayward equine Join the club![/QUOTE]

fantastic !

 

[Merrymoles]

I have a great deal of sympathy with you, especially if you have already formed an emotional bond with her (which I probably would have). I'd echo the thoughts of Chavhorse and others about asking someone else to ride her for a few weeks to give her some confidence and to see if they can give you an assessment on whether she could still be the horse for you. Nerves are circular things - she's nervous so you're nervous so she's nervous - so finding a way of breaking that loop is important. If you can accompany whoever rides her on foot or bicycle, it will give you a chance to see exactly what she does without having the nerve factor of being on top of her.
I'd also agree that spending lots of time on the ground with her might help - you need to get to know her and she needs to learn to trust you.
Finally, don't despair. It can take up to a year to "click" with a horse but when it finally happens it's worth it. My old boy was a complete git in terms of spookiness but I wouldn't have changed him for the world. Now I'm riding someone else's rock steady mare and I almost miss the constant OMGs as he took exception to something!

 

[furball]

Hi, im new on here to! I realy think you should sell her as i have been through the same thing, i bought what seemed to be a quiet fell pony had him vetted etc, he turned out to be highly nervous and very very sharp and spooky. I was so attatched to him as he was so sweet to handle on the ground i didnt sell him, i kept him three years in which time my confidence was at an all time low. He even took to bolting with a friend who used to ride him, his back was done twice a year, teeth done 6 monthly, fitted new tack etc, no rhyme nor reason to his behavours.

I made the sad desicion to sell earlier this year, never thought any one would want him, i sold him as an in hand companion only, he found a fantastic home with braver people than me, he is back out showing under saddle. He is still the same but his new owners cope with it, where i couldnt. I took my mare back off loan at a riding school, and my confidence is returning. Im getting to long in the tooth for spooky horses now!!! Please please dont persivere like i did and wreck all your confidence, sell up and find a suitable quiet happy hacker!!!! Make sure you try it thoroughly and get it vetted!!! What about having one on loan? Good luck on what you decide!!

 

[highlandponylady]

I too returned to riding in my 50s. I too ride a spooky pony. A friend where I am stabled has taken over a year to get her ex-riding school pony into a place where she can canter her out of the sand school so 2 months is nothing. We are lucky in that we have a great instructor on site who has patiently brought her on with lots of lungeing. All I'm saying is it may take a lot longer than you think to reinvent this horse. Good luck!

 

[SadKen]

Slightly different for me in that my new lad is only a baby at 5- however, he is not as far along with his training as I'd thought, and is effectively newly backed so we have a lot of work to do.

I'm back to horses after a 17 year break (I'm 34) and although I had a lot of experience bringing on young horses, that was a while ago, and I'm not as confident as I was. My lad is spooky and jumpy, although not quite as bad as your mare sounds. The answer for us so far has been lots and lots of groundwork, lunging on (quite loose) side reins to get him used to the contact, and trying to expose him gradually to new experiences. It does seem to be working, he's a bit more confident than he was a month ago. Although he wasn't keen on the school lights last night (he doesn't like shadows!).

I'm prepared to spend some time with him because he's young, doesn't have ingrained habits, just doesn't know what to do and is insecure. I also have a lot of help from my YO. If I were in your position, I would probably be thinking about selling, because as your girl is a bit older now, it's going to be more difficult to break the habit. However, as others have said, maybe schooling from an experienced rider would be a good thing to try before you decide for sure. I just think life is too short to be worrying like this. I hope it works out for you, as worrying about what will happen to my lad if I fail him and we can't make him nice and safe does sometimes keep me awake at night. Good luck xx

 

[FionaM12]

Slightly different for me in that my new lad is only a baby at 5- however, he is not as far along with his training as I'd thought, and is effectively newly backed so we have a lot of work to do.

I'm back to horses after a 17 year break (I'm 34) and although I had a lot of experience bringing on young horses, that was a while ago, and I'm not as confident as I was. My lad is spooky and jumpy, although not quite as bad as your mare sounds. The answer for us so far has been lots and lots of groundwork, lunging on (quite loose) side reins to get him used to the contact, and trying to expose him gradually to new experiences. It does seem to be working, he's a bit more confident than he was a month ago. Although he wasn't keen on the school lights last night (he doesn't like shadows!).

I'm prepared to spend some time with him because he's young, doesn't have ingrained habits, just doesn't know what to do and is insecure. I also have a lot of help from my YO. If I were in your position, I would probably be thinking about selling, because as your girl is a bit older now, it's going to be more difficult to break the habit. However, as others have said, maybe schooling from an experienced rider would be a good thing to try before you decide for sure. I just think life is too short to be worrying like this. I hope it works out for you, as worrying about what will happen to my lad if I fail him and we can't make him nice and safe does sometimes keep me awake at night. Good luck xx

Wow, not sure how you found this thread! 18 months later, things are much improved but not perfect. Wouldn't sell Mollie for the world though.

 

[Goldenstar]

Ok this is what I would do ,
Call your friend and tell her her advice can help you and secrets damage friendships.
Set aside some money to spend getting her going she needs to ridden for a while five or six days a week by a calm confident rider she needs to get into the kind of work you want to do with another rider.
Meanwhile go for regular lessons your self on suitable horses to get going including hacking.
Get an experianced person on the ground involved to get the diet ( minimal food) and management looked at and advise any changes that might help .
Set a time limit and reassess at the end of it .i would say sixteen weeks would be long enough to see improvements I am not one for giving up on horses but you do need to a time scale on sorting this and make a proactive plan for improving things.
Good luck.

 

[FionaM12]

Ok this is what I would do ,
Call your friend and tell her her advice can help you and secrets damage friendships.
Set aside some money to spend getting her going she needs to ridden for a while five or six days a week by a calm confident rider she needs to get into the kind of work you want to do with another rider.
Meanwhile go for regular lessons your self on suitable horses to get going including hacking.
Get an experianced person on the ground involved to get the diet ( minimal food) and management looked at and advise any changes that might help .
Set a time limit and reassess at the end of it .i would say sixteen weeks would be long enough to see improvements I am not one for giving up on horses but you do need to a time scale on sorting this and make a proactive plan for improving things.
Good luck.

Thanks, but check the date of this thread! I cleared the air with my friend a long time ago and things are different now. Also, I know more about Moll's history (traumatic, inc major head injury) and understand her more.

 

[Goldenstar]

Thanks, but check the date of this thread! I cleared the air with my friend a long time ago and things are different now. Also, I know more about Moll's history (traumatic, inc major head injury) and understand her more.

Oops sorry .

 

[FionaM12]

I'm just re-reading this, my first post here four years ago.

An update:

Nothing really worked with my Mollie in the end. I moved yards (a lovely yard), I had lessons, excellent help... we made some progress but I never overcame my fears and Mollie never did come to enjoy being ridden. She's now 21.

Research into her past uncovered dreadful trauma, a major road accident in which she received severe head injuries. Poor old girl.

I've finally given up trying to ride her. Two weeks ago, I moved her again, this time into retirement livery. She is to live out her days (or as long as I can afford it), at grass with company and a huge shelter which doubles as stables if necessary. She's already bonded with the elderly racehorse she shares her field with.

A lovely lady at our former yard has offered the use of her quiet gentle cob so I may start riding again. Meanwhile I can see Mollie whenever I want as she's a 5 minute drive away.

It wasn't the outcome I wanted, 4 years ago. But that's life, and that's animals for you.

Thanks for all the advice. I tried.

 

[Mahoganybay]

Thanks for the update FionaM12! I remember you first posting & have seen subsequent posts over the years. Sadly, sometimes things just don't work out, no matter what you try. Glad to hear that Mollie will enjoy some retirement, what a true horse women you are to accommodate that.

I would just like to say that reading through the posts on this thread, how helpful and understanding every poster was, this is the thing that keeps me on this forum when it gets silly sometimes.

I hope you take up the offer of the ride on the quiet cob, and wish you all the best.

 

[TIGHT]

Deleted

 

[Yardbird]

Best wishes for future horsey happiness and please let us know how you get on riding the cob, hope you have fun.

 

[Sheep]

Thanks for the update FionaM12, it is much appreciated. It is a shame that you weren't able to progress as you hoped, but it sounds like Mollie has a number of issues and hopefully she will now enjoy a long and happy retirement with her pals. Well done for making the right decision for her.

Please let us know how you get on with your friend's cob! Good luck.

 

[SadKen]

I tried very hard with my lad too (I referred to him earlier in the post, which was also one of my first here!) but in the end he was just too much for me and I sold him on for buttons to an Endurance rider. I think if we've tried our best that's all we can ever do; nobody can ask more.

I hope the new cob is a lot of fun for you FionaM12!

 

[Booboos]

I am sorry it did it work out but hopefully she will be happy in retirement livery and you will have fun ridding your friend's horse.

 

[Equi]

How lovely that you kept her anyway. What a lucky horse. I'm sorry you didn't have that amazing experience of having your own horse to be confident with but maybe it will happen in the future.

 

[poops]

Mollie is very lucky to have found a kind loving owner who is giving her a lovely retirement. Am glad you are still riding too. I have returned to riding after 35+ years...OMG that long!

 

[FionaM12]

Thanks everyone. Once I knew her history, I vowed she will never have to be stressed, scared and suffer again if I can possibly help it. So as long as I can afford to do so and she's in good health, she will have a happy retirement.

I couldn't part will her to an unknown fate. It's sad I didn't fulfill my dream of confidentially riding my own horse again, but there are no certainties with animals.

I had wonderful support and advise here, thank you all.

 

[debsflo]

Lucky Mollie to have found you , that's what being a horse lover is all about.

 

[FionaM12]

I've just been reading this 8 years on from my original post, and 4 years since my last update. Things have changed since then.

After a few happy years of retirement livery for Mollie, the charity where she lived told me a lady had come looking for a companion for her own retired mare. The mare is very similar to Moll in age, type and temperament. The lady lives about 5 miles away, she keeps horses in a field outside her house, not for riding but for their company. She had two, one had died and her mare was very lonely.

The eventual outcome is that Mollie went to live with her mare. She's her horse now but I can visit whenever I like. Mollie has a lovely secure field, adores the other mare and they have a stable each when needed. She could not be better cared for.

As for me, I haven't ridden for years. In my 60s but still busy with work, caring for my granddaughter several times a week and my elderly Mum who's had a stroke, as well as a busy life with my husband who I married 2 years ago, doesn't leave a space for horses.

It's not the end though. A colleague and friend has a quiet fell pony, and has invited me to ride. I have a broken ankle at present, but hopefully will take her up on the offer.

Animals, hey? Things never work out as expected. 😁

 

[splashgirl45]

thanks for updating, its a shame it didnt work out but mollie is having her retirement and doing a job as a companion and hopefully you will get to ride again and enjoy it. hope you soon recover from your broken ankle

 

[Rumtytum]

I wasn’t on this forum when you posted but I’ve just read the whole thread and have to say what a wonderful, caring, loyal person you are. It’s heartwarming to read how Mollie, after so many tribulations, is living her evening years in peace and happiness. I hope you can take up your friend’s offer and enjoy some relaxed time on her pony, you certainly deserve it.

 

[FionaM12]

Thank you both for your replies and kind words. I'm happy with the outcome of Mollie and my story. My dream of owning a horse again did come true in the end, even if the riding bit didn't work out.

Mollie's life now is idyllic for a mare who has been through so much. The field she shares with her friend has lots of natural cover, a stream runs through it and her new owner keeps an eye of them both through her kitchen window. Now well into her 20s, Mollie couldn't wish for more.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

How lovely to 'see' you again!

Thanks for the update. After some problems along the way, it sounds as if there are a few happy endings, with Mollie's new home, your marriage and an offer of a Fell to ride. I hope your ankle mends quickly, so that you can take up the offer over the summer.

Keep in touch!

 

[FionaM12]

 

[FionaM12]

 

[bonny]

What a lovely ending to your journey with Mollie

 

[TotalMadgeness]

Fabulous story!

 

[J&S]

Happy for you and Molly. x