Chiefbigcheeks
New User
Hi,
Just wondered if anyone else experienced similar situation and how did you handle it? I'll try to keep the long story short..
.. After a riding accident I lost all my confidence to the point that I would shake every the time I was going to canter a horse. Then I found a new yard and a brilliant riding instructor who was willing to work with me to get my confidence back. I have worked with him exclusively for the last 4 months, and all my anxiety and fear disappeared! I'm so excited to progress with my riding again!
Now the problem is, that my RI still keeps treating me as the scared and anxious rider I used to be when we first met. And I am worried that I'm going to internalize the thigs he says to me, which will damage my mindset and confidence again. To give you just a few examples:
I feel this is totally unnecessary as I am way past my confidence struggles and I found my "can-do mindset" again. I even told him that confidence is not the problem anymore and somtimes the only thing I really need is more time, and try a couple more times to perform what he asks for. But the following day, he would say the same BS to me again and again!
It is his comments that sometimes make me feel incompetent, and I leave the yard thinking "I am really useless bad rider and nobody likes me" kinda things..![Smile :) :)](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
Otherwise he is an excellent instructor very knowledgable about dressage training, and I feel I could learn so much more from him!!!! I like his methods and not sure if I can find another instructor as good. -- But I just can't stand the comments anymore as I feel it is starting to hold me back as he is unknowingly planting into my head that I have fear of riding/ confidence issues etc. I was really upset when he started labeling me like this in front of other riders too!!
So what would you do?! Would you change RI or yard because of this?
Thank you for reading!!
XX
Just wondered if anyone else experienced similar situation and how did you handle it? I'll try to keep the long story short..
.. After a riding accident I lost all my confidence to the point that I would shake every the time I was going to canter a horse. Then I found a new yard and a brilliant riding instructor who was willing to work with me to get my confidence back. I have worked with him exclusively for the last 4 months, and all my anxiety and fear disappeared! I'm so excited to progress with my riding again!
Now the problem is, that my RI still keeps treating me as the scared and anxious rider I used to be when we first met. And I am worried that I'm going to internalize the thigs he says to me, which will damage my mindset and confidence again. To give you just a few examples:
- During private lessons, when we are trying new exercises and I don't get things right after 2nd or 3rd try, he says things like "You're not succeeding because of your confidence issues" or "You don't ride with intention because you are scared".
- Everytime he's trying to give me some tips he would always use phrases like "riders like you with no confidence find XYZ helpful..."
- So last time I attended a group lesson with him and when some other girl made a mistake, he started giving her feedback that her ride didn't go well and then he used 'my (past) situation' as a bad example (even though I did great in the lesson): "Look Ms XYZ here, she's got confidence issues and can't ride horses with intention. That's why your horses won't listen to you".
I feel this is totally unnecessary as I am way past my confidence struggles and I found my "can-do mindset" again. I even told him that confidence is not the problem anymore and somtimes the only thing I really need is more time, and try a couple more times to perform what he asks for. But the following day, he would say the same BS to me again and again!
It is his comments that sometimes make me feel incompetent, and I leave the yard thinking "I am really useless bad rider and nobody likes me" kinda things..
Otherwise he is an excellent instructor very knowledgable about dressage training, and I feel I could learn so much more from him!!!! I like his methods and not sure if I can find another instructor as good. -- But I just can't stand the comments anymore as I feel it is starting to hold me back as he is unknowingly planting into my head that I have fear of riding/ confidence issues etc. I was really upset when he started labeling me like this in front of other riders too!!
So what would you do?! Would you change RI or yard because of this?
Thank you for reading!!
XX