Help with nervous rider?

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xXFunkyFillyXx

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Hi, in just over a week I am/was due to do a pairs hunter trial at Larkhill (the 2ft6-2ft9) with my friend. Just now she has decided she wants to back out. She says she is nervous and the course is big. However, she hasn't even seen the course and is listening too much to some of my friends saying Larkhill is a horrible course. Her pony is a very good jumper and has done many hunter trials. We have already paid the entry and our new cross country colors have just arrived.

I really want her to do the pairs, but I don't know what I can say to reassure her. She is very stubborn with her opinion, but I'm worried she will bail out on me again in the future.

Thanks :)
 
Problem is if you reassure her / pressure her too much and something goes wrong youll be blamed - if she is really that nervous its gonna be no fun for her and if she doesnt want to do it well thats her choice. Bummer for you but she shouldnt feel pressured to do something she doesnt want to because shes letting you down.
 
Farma said:
Problem is if you reassure her / pressure her too much and something goes wrong youll be blamed - if she is really that nervous its gonna be no fun for her and if she doesnt want to do it well thats her choice. Bummer for you but she shouldnt feel pressured to do something she doesnt want to because shes letting you down.
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Yeah i suppose you're right, but I just want her to a least see the course and then make her mind up, rather than listening to other people. We don't have the most supportive of friends.
 
Well since monies already paid etc, are you still going anyway?

If so why not say why doesn't she just bring her lad along, no presure to do anything she can just lead him round to see the sights if thats all she wants to do or maybe just do the warm up.

Constructive way of helping her tackle her nerves a bit and she just might decide the course is OK.

But to do that you have to genuinly mean it's fine if all she does is wander round with her horse on a lead rope.
 
I totally agree tell her to come along with her horse and just plod around to soak up the atmosphere that way she may perk up when she is there and give it a go but don't pressure her to enter if she is really worried it may make her worse for the future if something goes wrong. I recently backed out of a sponsored ride with my young horse because I had been debating with myself whether it was a good idea. As it turns out I am very glad I did you have to do what's best for you and not other people.
 
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