help YO pregnant, do i move?

[Spit That Out]

I agree with the others that have said either a share or an experienced freelance.
We have a couple of freelances come to various horses and they charge approx £25 to £40 for an hour. If it's a regular booking then they may offer a group booking offer?

In fairness it's not just while your YO is pregnant, it's going to be until she feels like she can ride again and the demands the new baby will put on her.

You may need to look at this long term which would be to move yards.

 

[SO1]

I would say that it seems like you have a lot of responsibilities for such a young person. If your sister and mother are so ill and need you to be available 24/7 have you looked into speaking to social services to see if they could provide some respite care so you can have a break or looking to see if there are any benefits you could claim if you are their carer so at least you don't have to work so hard?

I would try and stay at the yard that is near if you like it especially as you have so many other responsibilities.

If you are paying for full livery which includes ridden work and your YO can no longer provide that service then you should be given a discount. I can understand that your YO may not want to do so as she would lose money and is probably thinking of how she is going to fund the time when she will need to employ someone to cover for her. Maybe she is taking advantage of you because you are young, or thinks you are rich, does she know your situation with your family and jobs etc.

I would speak to the vet and see if the long reining will be exceptable or not. If it is and YO is aware that this is still very risky due to your horses behaviour but still wants to do it then I would get some disclaimer signed by her in case something goes wrong and she gets hurt. If it is only going to be 12 weeks then you will may just have to accept that when you ride you will be hacking not schooling - I am presuming you will also have school holidays when you can do more?

If he needs ridden work then maybe ask your YO if you can go on to part livery which does not include exercise and pay less then employ an instructor to do the exercising for you, this may also help with your horses behaviour and long term make it easier for you to find a sharer.

Alternatively could could send your horse to a rehab yard for 12 weeks and ask YO to keep your box for you but pay the DIY rate during that time or in exchange help her out with other horses on fri/sat/sun whilst she is pregnant.

 

[Lolo]

Speak to your vet and see what he says.

If he says Sully must be ridden, then tell your YO that the vet said that and ask if she has anyone she'd recommend to do it for her while she can't.

If he says he can be longlined/ lunged, perfect- your YO can do that.

 

[Honey08]

Sorry for the late reply - went to bed..

I meant that, when you said he doesn't like schooling so you didn't want him lunged/lined, not all lunging is schooling/work - look at eventers being lunged before the dressage...

If you can't pay someone to ride him, I would pay a deposit at your friend's yard and take him to another yard for rehabilitation until he is better.. It would be silly to lose a good yard for the sake of a few months until he is better..

 

[Maddie2412]

but he has to be lunged in the school in the past weve found excessive work in there is what has sent him loops...

 

[Vixen Van Debz]

I'd be loathed to move with so much on my plate already: I'd be checking with the vet about alternative forms of exercise such a long-reining, and asking the YO about alternative livery arrangements. Is she planning on hiring a replacement manager while she's on maternity leave? It might mean the issue isn't as long-term if there'll be someone capable of riding Sully sooner than her return to work and to riding.

 

[lme]

Are there not local freelancers who you can pay to come & ride a couple of times a week? There are always adverts in my local tack shop from 'freelance grooms' who do that sort of thing. I pay for my mare to be hacked / schooled twice a week (I can't get to the yard midweek) by someone who rides her beautifully & it has made a huge difference.

 

[mrsbt]

Sorry if missed a point already made but I long line my mare round our tracks rather than in the school, is that possible for YO to do? Have to say I am 7 mths pregnant now and it's quite tiring so whilst she says she can do it she may find herself over doing things and will need to slow down later on.

 

[Maddie2412]

I have spoken to one or two freelance grooms but both had bad insurance policies and were not comfortable riding him, I have been very honest re his behaviour as the last thing i want is someone uncomfortable on him but i think i will keep looking in this direction...!
also we have no where else safe to long line around other than school aswell

 

[SusieT]

Why does the owner of this horse have to put p with substandard care and a regime she doesn't like becuase the YO can no longer provide the service required?

 

[SO1]

I am afraid the YO is not your friend if she is going to be charging you the same price for doing less! If full livery includes riding and she can no longer do the riding then she should not charge you the same price as when she could ride your horse.

If your horses behaviour is so bad that no freelance grooms are willing to ride him then perhaps try some Natural Horsemanship people as these people often claim that they can handle any horse and at the same time as exercising them they may be able to sort out your horses behaviour. TBH if your horse is so difficult to ride moving him to another yard may not work if non of the staff there are willing to ride him.

 

[Luci07]

You really do have too much on your plate. What support are you getting? Any charities that could help or lend an ear? I think you are right in that you need to talk to your vet and get his opinion. There is no point in trying to work out your options until you have that conversation.

 

[gempag]

Hello there, maybe i should introduce myself i am the yard owner.....
Firstly I would like to Thank you Lydia for posting this on here and therefore not doing as i asked and keeping it to herself, resulting in me finding out through a phone call from one of the other liveries who has seen this post...

Re livery and Sully he has a suspensory injury which he has had treatment for via shockwaves and 15 mins walking execise twice daily for the 6 weeks of shockwaves which i have done...
He has now moved on to 30 mins everyother day of controlled exercise in walk, now I rode him once and well in all honestly he was dangerous, rearing, leaping bucking etc... so having spoken to the vet we decided that long reinging was a safer option for horse and rider, seen as we do not want him being silly and re injuring him.
Which is what I have been doing for a month and Lydia has been down and long reined once in this month...
Now re guarding livery fee's as your all discussing yes Sully is on full livery which includes riding it's not rehab livery and we are very reasonably priced, we have not adjusted the livery from full seen as the care he requires at the moment is more costly and more time consuming that just full livery, extra feed, hay, bedding, walking in hand exercises daily, vets visits, farrier visits etc so I would like you to know that we are not ripping Lydia off or taking advantage because she is young.
I am deeply hurt and upset to have found this thread and the way I am being portrayed, I feel this is very unfair especially as not the full story is actually been told...
Re-guarding whats next for Sully is to move on to 30 mins trotting everyother day, which begins the week starting the 19th... So I will be discussing with the vet the best option for Sully given the situation as it is now...
Obviously Livery would be reduced to a part livery if we are not doing anything with him, I have no problem with Lydia finding someone else in to ride him, however I did tell her yesterday that I would try and find someone to help out and do what needs doing....
I do hope this clears it all up for you guys and I deeply hope that when you help someone out as much as i have with Lydia and Sully you do not find yourself in this situation which quite frankly has really upset me....
Do feel free to ask me anything if you need to....??
Many Thanks Gemma...

 

[JenJ]

Gemma, I don't believe Lydia has been negative about you - perhaps some of the other posts may have been, but they were made by people who don't know you and don't know the facts of the situation.

It appears that Lydia is just a little overwhelmed with everything that is happening in her life at the moment, and wants what is best for everyone. Please don't take offence at that x

 

[FinkleyAlex]

I don't think it's fair to blame Lydia for posting this on here - from what I have read she has been very neutral regarding the information she has posted and hasn't written any slanderous remarks concerning you. If anything she appears to have your best interests at heart, mentioning multiple times she considers you a friend and that she does not want you hurt, given her horse appears to have his moments. She kept all information other than her horses name to herself and did not mention you by name or even your yard, and I feel desperately sorry for her that another livery has taken it upon herself to create drama in showing you this thread which for all intents and purposes was not created to make you sound bad, merely to provide some sensible suggestions to someone who obviously has a lot on their plate at the moment.

 

[gempag]

I have no problem with her asking for advice or suggestions at all what i have a problem with is the fact that she has posted on a public forum that I am pregnant and obviously other liveries have seen it and so having told her in confidence as i felt it was only fair given that he is on full livery and i have not told other liveries yet as i am very early and all i would have asked is that she came and spoke to me and not gone about it in this way i don't think thats too much to ask..........

 

[The-mad-cat-lady]

Poor lydia...
As If she hasn't got enough to cope with at the moment with mum and sister being ill..
She was only asking for advice and is desparate not to upset you Gemma.

 

[glamourpuss]

I have to agree with others here. I don't think Lydia is in the wrong...she only came on asking for advice, she didn't name you or your yard.
I actually think she has come across as very sweet & considerate in her posts. She quite obviously didnt want you getting hurt OR to make a decision that would've offended you
I suspect she just wanted a little bit of impartial input.

As for the other livery who contacted Gemma & has obviously enjoyed a good stir...I hope you are proud of yourself

 

[The-mad-cat-lady]

Gemma , just give her a big hug next time you see her. Don't lose a loyal friend over this. As for the other livery, I'd sent her packing, the vile little snake In the grass.

 

[Maddie2412]

I would like to take the opportunity to publicly apologize to all involved but really you Gem, I may have a lot on my plate but it is never an excuse to go behind a friend's back when dealing with a private issue I never meant to cause any hurt and have certainly learnt my lesson. I'm sorry.

 

[The-mad-cat-lady]

No apology needed to us hun.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Gemma , just give her a big hug next time you see her. Don't lose a loyal friend over this. As for the other livery, I'd sent her packing, the vile little snake In the grass.

Exactly, I feel very sorry for 17yr old Maddie who obviously has a lot (some people might feel too much) on her plate. I felt reading her early posts that she was trying very hard to be fair to Gemma and really did not want to upset her in any way. She did not say anything which could identify the yard to an outsider. The other livery is the one in the wrong IMO, she should have kept quiet if she managed to identify the yard. My guess is that she, too, is very young.

And, in fact, although many of us might have guessed who the OP was, from some of her previous posts, it is the YO who has identified her, although she has not used her own name on the forum.

 

[horsemad32]

You'll probably have to move now this has all happened. For what it's worth, if he's hot to the point of being so dangerous most freelancers won't touch him, you need to find a full livery yard that will be able to deal with him as he comes back into work. As someone who is currently pregnant, I wouldn't handle/ride a dangerous horse of my own, let alone someone else's. One fall/kick is all it takes.

 

[3Beasties]

Crikey, poor Maddie

 

[hula]

I really feel for the op after reading this thread... I hope things work out for you OP, and I hope all this drama created out of nothing settles quickly.

 

[The-mad-cat-lady]

You'll probably have to move now this has all happened. For what it's worth, if he's hot to the point of being so dangerous most freelancers won't touch him, you need to find a full livery yard that will be able to deal with him as he comes back into work. As someone who is currently pregnant, I wouldn't handle/ride a dangerous horse of my own, let alone someone else's. One fall/kick is all it takes.

This was exactly the point the op was making. She didnt want her YO to hurt herself whilst dealing with her horse but she didnt know how to tell her.
I bet your bottom dollar that many YO's would love to have such a caring livery.

 

[Maddie2412]

This was exactly the point the op was making. She didnt want her YO to hurt herself whilst dealing with her horse but she didnt know how to tell her.
I bet your bottom dollar that many YO's would love to have such a caring livery.

thank you for your support but please stop posting everyone i have written to TFC and asked for this to be taken down due to offence caused but this hasnt happened so i would really appreciate it if everyone would stop posting. whilst intention were good i posted something very private that i had been asked not to discuss, it was stupid and thoughtless so for her sake please can we let this disappear?

 

[Daddy_Long_Legs]

God help the OP. She was only asking for advice, she's 17 and has a lot on her plate. You should have rung her personally rather than attacking her on a public forum.

I freelance ride and take most things on but I am currently pregnant and I actually moved my liveries on because I felt I couldn't do the job properly. Only one livery stayed and I got a girl into ride the horse 3/4 days a week until he was sold on.

 

[CalllyH]

Oooops busted. Brilliant. Gempag I don't think you have come across badly at all, infect very sensible and generous.

I think the op needs to have a serious think about her situation and whether having a horse at the moment is the right thing.

 

[Honey08]

I don't think the yard owner came across badly either. Sounds like you have done a lot to help with the horse. It would have been better if the OP had just discussed it with you in the first place, buts thats just youth and the fact that there is a lot on her plate. I don't think the OP was nasty about her either, perhaps worrying too much about things that hadn't happened, but I can see why - everyone else was doing the judging really!

Its easy to say reassess whether you've got time for a horse - whats she meant to do - the horse couldn't be sold anyway, its not sound. Its a bad situation that has to be got through, one way or another..