Here we go again...another Poppy update :(

[FestiveFuzz]

Patience has never been my strong point. So much so that as a child my mother often opted to say "no" to anything without an immediate outcome as it was easier than dealing with the slew of questions that telling me to "wait and see" brought on.

At 29 I still struggle with the unknown, but nearly 4 months into Pop's DDFT injury I thought I'd managed to keep a handle on things. In hindsight, I think my heavy workload and copious business trips had kept my mind occupied...it's hard to think of much else when you're changing time zones as often as some teenagers change their pants. But with my passport stashed back in its "safe" place and the crazy launch period gradually becoming a distant memory my brain has started thinking up all the annoying questions that "wait and see" brings.

I was under no illusion that Pops may never make a full recovery. To be honest every day I've got to spend with her since her heartbreaking diagnosis has felt like a blessing. What I wasn't prepared for was the rollercoaster of emotions that come with her rehab. The panic of turning her out for the first time, not knowing whether the leg is truly recovering or just bearing up given her extensive box rest. The excitement when she trots up sound, and the sinking feeling every time I feel a bit of heat in her leg.

In those moments the reality of her injury hits hard. All the hacks we've missed, the competitions that have gone unentered, the joy of bringing on my first proper youngster and the thought that this beautiful, well mannered little lady who makes me laugh every single day with her silly antics may not be around this time next year. In times like those it's hard to stay positive. Just typing this brings tears to my eyes, but I need to admit it somewhere and you guys have been around since the start so I figure it's as good a place as any to face my fears.

This week has probably been the hardest since her initial diagnosis. I've had the soaring high of her being ridden for the first time followed by the crashing low of hearing how she badly spooked, decked the groom and now has swelling in the leg again. The vet rescanned the leg on Friday night but didn't want to comment as he's not our usual vet and so my brain fills the blanks with worst case scenarios and action plans whilst it waits for the Monday morning call from our vet. On the plus side her hoof was showing signs of sensitivity to the hoof testers so there's a chance there's an abscess at play here (cue a weekend of polticing), but deep down I know that wouldn't be causing the swelling in her tendon so I'm stuck with the many questions that swirl around my head when I'm told to "wait and see".

 

[scats]

I must have missed your post about the incident this week with the groom, but I just want to give you some hope re the DDFT.

The horse I bought to event did significant damage to his DDFT in 2014. The prognosis was very poor. Having dealt with a soft tissue injury before that wrote off my 6 year old, I had learnt a lot from the experience and, after the initial diagnosis off the vets, I discharged him from their care and went about the recovery my own way.

I turned him out every day and he came in at night. We did this for 9 months. I had decided that he would have a minimum of 12 months off any sort of ridden work, so I didn't even let myself think about riding him, even in walk.
He was, by some miracle, sound by month 3, and I could have been tempted to dive in and try and rush his recovery but I stuck to my guns. After 9 months he went on to full turnout, with an hour or two in a day.

After 12 months, still sound, I started some ridden walking work. I walked him for 6 months, three times a week. He started some straight line trotting after 18 months, then had most of last winter off due to the weather, but continued with daily turnout.
At Easter, 2 years post injury, he started working again- walk for 3 months and then some trot. In September we started cantering. We are still doing short bursts of canter, mostly on straight lines. It's now been 2 and a half years post injury and I have a sound horse but I am still building up his workload.

I have made the decision not to jump him again, his injury was substantial enough that I feel this is too risky, so I have changed my plans and am producing him for a career in dressage.

Basically the key, unfortunately, is patience. Write the next 12 months off, realistically and see what you have after that.

 

[rachk89]

You are coping with this amazingly I would be a wreck by now. Maybe the swelling has been caused by a possible abscess. It was amazing how much my horses leg became swollen from a tiny cut in the sole of his hoof (we think we never did find it). It caused cellulitis and the leg ballooned. So maybe it's something similar.

Can you lunge her or long rein her for a bit before getting her ridden? Just to get her back into things and get her used to spooky stuff again? I guess that may not be possible but maybe ask the vet?

I hope everything turns out ok in the end you both deserve it to.

 

[milliepops]

right there with you on the rollercoaster. It's exhausting, isn't it? My mare has done poop things to all 4 legs having a jolly time in the field over the years, she's out of lives now and we are resigned to pootling along and just hoping she can stay in work.

Try not to read too much into the swelling. It doesn't have to be a catastrophe, just a bump in the road. Do you have something else to ride in the meantime? It helped me so much having my project cob to play with while Millie has been on the sick, meant I could be much more patient and less frustrated (plus she's turned into a a little gem so it no longer matters that I won't ride Millie in tails again).

 

[milliepops]

duplicate

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

Don't panic Captain Mainwaring! Easy for me to say I know but injured legs do heat up and swell up a bit when something new is introduced. Whether it be walking out for the first time, turn out for the first time, ridden in walk, trot or canter for the first time. It is the legs way of healing. No injury is ever fully healed when you start the walking again. It is the concussion on the leg that makes the blood flow and aids the healing process.

As a previous poster has said - time is the key. Don't ever be afraid of going back a step and repeating a stage of the recovery period. Never, ever rush them.

Hopefully all goes well on Monday!

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

I don't really know much about DDFT injuries, but my horse had an abcess (sp?) that couldn't push through his hoof and so the puss was pushed up into his leg and his tendon area was huge! It could definitely be this.

I wish you and Poppy all the best for the future.

 

[kinnygirl1]

So sorry you are going thru this but you are coping well. It is really unfair that you haven't got to do any of the fun things that everyone else with a horse seems to get to do (I know this feeling well). Really hoping your vet has good news on Monday. Hopefully these bad times will make the good times even sweeter! Hugs

 

[FestiveFuzz]

I must have missed your post about the incident this week with the groom, but I just want to give you some hope re the DDFT.

The horse I bought to event did significant damage to his DDFT in 2014. The prognosis was very poor. Having dealt with a soft tissue injury before that wrote off my 6 year old, I had learnt a lot from the experience and, after the initial diagnosis off the vets, I discharged him from their care and went about the recovery my own way.

I turned him out every day and he came in at night. We did this for 9 months. I had decided that he would have a minimum of 12 months off any sort of ridden work, so I didn't even let myself think about riding him, even in walk.
He was, by some miracle, sound by month 3, and I could have been tempted to dive in and try and rush his recovery but I stuck to my guns. After 9 months he went on to full turnout, with an hour or two in a day.

After 12 months, still sound, I started some ridden walking work. I walked him for 6 months, three times a week. He started some straight line trotting after 18 months, then had most of last winter off due to the weather, but continued with daily turnout.
At Easter, 2 years post injury, he started working again- walk for 3 months and then some trot. In September we started cantering. We are still doing short bursts of canter, mostly on straight lines. It's now been 2 and a half years post injury and I have a sound horse but I am still building up his workload.

I have made the decision not to jump him again, his injury was substantial enough that I feel this is too risky, so I have changed my plans and am producing him for a career in dressage.

Basically the key, unfortunately, is patience. Write the next 12 months off, realistically and see what you have after that.

Thanks Scats. I've already made up my mind that if the scan shows more damage I'm going to turn her away for a year and what will be will be. Whilst I've had horses for pretty much all of my life I've been lucky enough not to have had to deal with many issues so every day has been a steep learning curve with Pops.

I chose not to properly post about the groom incident as whilst it's frustrating I don't blame anyone. She's a sharp young horse coming off of box rest and given her newly found love of doing stable acrobatics I doubt it made too much difference to the leg anyway. My YO and the rest of the team have been an amazing support throughout and truly treat Pops as one of their own and I'd hate them to think otherwise as I honestly couldn't have kept this sane without them.

Generally I've been great at not expecting too much from Pops but I think I let the excitement of being able to ride her again get the better of me.

 

[Slightlyconfused]

I don't really know much about DDFT injuries, but my horse had an abcess (sp?) that couldn't push through his hoof and so the puss was pushed up into his leg and his tendon area was huge! It could definitely be this.

I wish you and Poppy all the best for the future.

This is how my horses abcess shows up if they don't burst.

Don't give up yet.

 

[Wagtail]

I agree with the fact that abscesses can cause significant swelling in the leg. Not just above the affected hoof, but can also cause it in the opposite leg due to extra loading of the good leg. I don't have any personal experience of the DDFT but do have quite a few experiences with tendon and ligament injuries. In most cases they are a rollercoaster with plenty of relapses along the way. My old mare almost destroyed her biceps bracci (sp) tendon. It was so bad that it was touch and go whether she would ever come field sound again. The prognosis was a definite no to any return to work even for hacking and very guarded to be field sound. Three years later I was able to ride her again, not only hacking but schooling too. The three years leading up to this were spent box rest, then larger and larger pen in the field. She had a major relapse after the first year just when I thought she was over it and we had to start from square one. It was devastating, but each relapse lasted a shorter and shorter time before she came finally sound enough to ride again. Sadly cushings and laminitis were the undoing of her in the end. But don't lose hope. These injuries take time, patience and lots of emotional strength.

 

[FestiveFuzz]

right there with you on the rollercoaster. It's exhausting, isn't it? My mare has done poop things to all 4 legs having a jolly time in the field over the years, she's out of lives now and we are resigned to pootling along and just hoping she can stay in work.

Try not to read too much into the swelling. It doesn't have to be a catastrophe, just a bump in the road. Do you have something else to ride in the meantime? It helped me so much having my project cob to play with while Millie has been on the sick, meant I could be much more patient and less frustrated (plus she's turned into a a little gem so it no longer matters that I won't ride Millie in tails again).

So sorry to hear about your mare, but keeping fingers crossed you guys can keep on pootling! In the grand scheme of things I know it's just going to take time but I do get frustrated with not knowing if she'll ever come sound enough to have a ridden career which is silly really.

Fortunately my YO has kindly offered to let me ride one of her horses so I'm still getting my horsey fix alongside weekly lessons on the same horse but it's not the same as having your own horse to bring on which is what I'm really missing. I did contemplate getting a cheap project to bring on and sell but pop's costs around £700 a month as it is (and I have no intention of moving her as I love the yard we're at/can't justify dropping her down from full livery due to work) and I don't want to stretch my finances too much so that's not really an option right now.

 

[asbocob]

I couldn't read this and not reply, I'm so sorry to hear all of this. I had to have my boy put to sleep very recently due to chronic suspensory lesions and a multitude of other problems and sadly he was never going to be sound or pain free. My fingers are crossed for you, big hugs!

 

[mytwofriends]

My little horse did his DDFT in April 2014. He endured two stints of box rest with various ups and downs in between. I followed his long rehab to the letter and got as far as a 30 minute hack incorporating 2 minutes of canter. He decked me in his exuberance and legged it home, which put back his progress somewhat.

However, he'd had enough of box rest (became downright dangerous to handle) and I chose to turn him away for a few months - my vet okayed this. He probably spent 8 months in the field.

At his last checkup, he was barely 1/10th lame - vast improvement. The vet said to resume riding, and gradually build up his strength. It culminated in an incredible ride on him on Easter Saturday this year, and he honestly felt like his old self.

It was my final ride on him. He was PTS two weeks later due to something entirely unrelated.

So the DDFT injury did fix, so there's hope for your horse, OP. The road was bumpy, but my little boy defied the odds and returned to his old self. I'm so thankful to have had that last ride

 

[atropa]

Longterm injury/illness is a horrendous thing to go through, I really feel for you.
My mare has spent months since May on box rest for colic-induced laminitis, the stress of which then brought on another episode of colic. I have never felt so helpless, depressed, stressed or alone. She has only recently just gone back out the past couple of weeks for a few hours a day, as she was becoming dangerous to handle and left us with no other option. I stress every single day that she's doing damage to herself, obsessively check her pulses, hooves, gut sounds and am scared to start bringing her back into work in case she is in pain or turns out to still be lame.

Be kind to yourself, and I really hope everything works out for you and Poppy.

 

[MrsMozart]

I don't know anything about this one lass, but I, and many others on here, understand how you feel.

Hugs and support to get through to where it leads you.

 

[FestiveFuzz]

Thanks so much for all your kind words guys. It really means a lot to me.

The swelling seems to have gone down quite a bit today. Pops is a bit stroppy about not being allowed out of her stable but that's to be expected so hopefully like some have suggested the swelling is just a sign of her leg recovering.

 

[FestiveFuzz]

So I've spoken to the vet. He's not horrifically alarmed by the situation but has said we need to take a step back and in his opinion "get to a point where we can just forget about her for a while". This means pushing through until we get to a point of being able to leave her turned out, which is what we're going to start working towards now.

In a way I'm relieved as it's kinda what I was leaning towards and it's great to know my vet fully supports the decision to turn her away for a while, but on the flip it just feels like a crushing disappointment after all we've been through and I'm left doubting if I'm trying to fix Pops for the right reasons...how do you know when enough is enough? The idea of being without her was enough to send me fleeing to the bathroom to have a little cry, but is that enough of a reason to keep trying to fix her?

YO has kindly said I can turn her away there, which does free up the opportunity to take something else on loan whilst Pops is totally out of action but I'm not sure if there are many people out there keen to put their horse out on full loan for just a year if Pops does recover? The positives are I can offer a 5* home on full livery with regular (weekly) dressage training and I'm more than happy to take on something green and get it out to some comps and clinics, but obviously Pops is my main priority and I'm not sure if that would put people off.

 

[milliepops]

Ahh, the doubts, been there too. It's hopeless, she's never going to be fixed, might as well give up now.

Only natural, when you are desperate. Only you will know the answer though... chances are you will always have to be a little bit careful with her, but she could well have a very full and healthy life, so worth a punt if you can accommodate her.

She doesn't know that you are trying to fix her, she probably doesn't know she's broken, and she won't know if you decide not to fix her, so none of that matters. As owners we get to play god, that comes with heartache sometimes.

FWIW I like your vet's way of thinking. And I think, judging by posts on here, there'd be people looking for a set up like yours to bring on a green horse. Having something else to focus on could really take the mental pressure off especially as Pops *will* have setbacks along the way. It's a given, with horses! Sounds like a plan

 

[PorkChop]

Ahh, the doubts, been there too. It's hopeless, she's never going to be fixed, might as well give up now.

Only natural, when you are desperate. Only you will know the answer though... chances are you will always have to be a little bit careful with her, but she could well have a very full and healthy life, so worth a punt if you can accommodate her.

She doesn't know that you are trying to fix her, she probably doesn't know she's broken, and she won't know if you decide not to fix her, so none of that matters. As owners we get to play god, that comes with heartache sometimes.

FWIW I like your vet's way of thinking. And I think, judging by posts on here, there'd be people looking for a set up like yours to bring on a green horse. Having something else to focus on could really take the mental pressure off especially as Pops *will* have setbacks along the way. It's a given, with horses! Sounds like a plan

Great advice, it's so hard to decide when to stop trying quite so hard unfortunately.

I would certainly think there will be loan opportunities, what you are offering is very attractive.

So I for one think you are taking the right approach

 

[Annagain]

Nothing to add except a big hug. Horses can be pants sometimes.

 

[FestiveFuzz]

Ahh, the doubts, been there too. It's hopeless, she's never going to be fixed, might as well give up now.

Only natural, when you are desperate. Only you will know the answer though... chances are you will always have to be a little bit careful with her, but she could well have a very full and healthy life, so worth a punt if you can accommodate her.

She doesn't know that you are trying to fix her, she probably doesn't know she's broken, and she won't know if you decide not to fix her, so none of that matters. As owners we get to play god, that comes with heartache sometimes.

FWIW I like your vet's way of thinking. And I think, judging by posts on here, there'd be people looking for a set up like yours to bring on a green horse. Having something else to focus on could really take the mental pressure off especially as Pops *will* have setbacks along the way. It's a given, with horses! Sounds like a plan

Milliepops thanks so much for this. You're right, Pops has no idea of what hangs in the balance here and I need to remember this. I'm just glad my vet is ok for me to just turn her away for a while, although from an insurance standpoint that's going to be a bit of a pain but at least I will have tried everything I can to get her right and it'll give a clear indication of whether she will at the very least be field sound.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

I don't know anything about this type of problem but have been following Poppy's story...I think both your vet and yourself are taking the right attitude to the situation. And I can't imagine you will have a shortage of loan opportunities with such alot to offer.
I genuinely believe that whatever the future holds for Poppy that she was incredibly lucky to have found you. Sending a hug for you and gentle fuss for Poppy xx

 

[Aragon56]

I haven't followed your previous posts about the injury but I'm with you on the emotional rollercoaster that are DDFT injuries!

4 months is relatively new, I would write off the next year like another poster suggested. Plenty of time out and you may find that the tendon repairs itself to a certain extent. My mare was given a worse case scenario of light hack only (if she was lucky) when this happened to us around 8 years ago. She has good days and bad days but has had so much time off over the years that I've been able to do more with her than I thought. I was always careful but she has been able to do some long hacks which I never thought would happen. No jumping or turning on tight circles but better than nothing.

Hugs to you x