HHO Confidence Club...

Bucking. When I went for my first lesson for years a couple of months back to try and regain my confidence, my instructor asked me what it was I was scared of. I couldn't answer her. But now I know it's being bucked off. I had some terrible injuries from a totally inappropriate horse years ago and back then, when I was fixed, I never hesitated to get back on her.

Now every time Star puts her head down I panic. I also panic when I ask her to canter in the open. Completely irrational, because she's a total babe. Nothing is going to help me more than her just being sensible. She does everything I ask because we trust each other :)

Slowly the confidence starts to come back :D
 
Shy got me off a month ago in canter, because the poor thing's saddle gullet was pinching him :o It's taken me a while to get my confidence going again - and tbh at the moment, I am loving just plodding around looking at the scenery. Mind you, my get up and go left a while ago*sigh*.
 
Well another update.... everything going very very well @ the moment! Oh & just to mention we are off Hunting next wk!! - May stick a green ribbon on myslelf as well as on the horses tail::D
 
LOL perhaps I should just dress myself in green from head to toe:rolleyes:
Oh & did fail to mention I was jumping over a metre on my friends schoolmaster last wk aswell... everything has just come together lately!! Its been hard at times & lots of blood sweat & tears but really feel we are getting places:)

shysmum said:
I used to have an L Plate attached to my hi vis when I was breaking Shy - you could try that ;) It worked too !!
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Had a bit of a confidence knock yesterday :o although I don't know why :o

Haven't cantered her in about 2 months (I know my sharer does though) shes a lot more on her toes since she has been in of a night, so haven't had the confidence to do it.

Anyways went out with a friend and her very sensible and calm ex racer and she suggested a canter. I stayed behind and at first felt fine and was even enjoying it. Then suddenly the track I was on opened up into a huge field and I just felt so worried, Ruby obviously thought it was more exciting, as she got faster, however she didn't buck or anything or try to overtake, she was just simply keeping up. I shouted to my friend could we stop and both were easy to pull up. I was on edge for about the next half hour of the ride :o even though Ruby hadn't done anything wrong.
 
I think I'm worried about bolting.

I've just bought a horse after a 25 year break from horse ownership. She's a lovely fairly sensible 10 year old cob. I think everyone rode her in her previous yard with her previous owner, as a confidence giver, which may be why she has a rather hard mouth.

I am schooling to try and sort this out and I have found a wonderful yard for her with off road hacking straight onto the moors, fantastic views, you can see and ride for miles. Which is why, I think, that I hate hacking out.

There are few landmarks or boundaries, not much hedging or trees, but plenty of mountain ponies who sometimes gallop up and past which freaks me out. Gypsy has bogged off with me on the moor once, but stopped fairly quickly when I asked her.

Still, I think I may end up having to move her to a yard with more roadwork and less idyllic, high altitude open moorland as it is just scaring me silly! :eek:
 
Really like this thread, I think it is very important when facing confidence issues to have a support network behind you!

I have just bought a 16.2hh 14 year old Belgian Warmblood gelding after deciding that my real aim in my horsey life is to compete affiliated Dressage.

Before Ventus (who I have had for 5 weeks) I had a fantastic wee Highland Pony who I fell in love with as soon as I sat on him. My confidence was shattered after buying a TB (a little over 2 - 3 years ago) who threw me off when I went to try her, which was because she was fed a high-cereal diet. I knew the mare from my PC days so bought her knowing what she was used to do and convincing myself I could get her to that stage again. I ended up spending the whole time seriously frightened of her but had an amazing support network and in the end sold her to a fantastic home. I then loaned a Highland (who I used to loan, and rode at a RS) before taking the plunge and buying my wee Highland Pony, Dru. I was scared at first but after a fantastic year together I was jumping small courses, going for amazing hacks and just generally loving riding again. I sold him 3 weeks ago to a fantastic home 10 minutes away and he is doing great!

I went out looking for a 15 - 15.2hh gelding who had been there/done that and had experience in Dressage. I had done lots of unaffiliated tests on Dru and had seriously been bitten by the bug. I went to see Ventus as he sounded lovely but his height put me off - however, I decided that if I didn't like him then I would just bite the bullet and put my search on hold until the spring. Well... I loved him! He is such a gentleman in all ways and I have already done more with him (I hate riding new horses - I get very nervous - especially in canter) than I ever thought I could. Even as far as saying I do flying changes and do lots of canter as he is just a dude.

Sorry for the essay, I am getting to the confidence issue, just providing a bit of background knowledge ;)

Now, Ventus is ex-BSJA. Has BSJA'd most of his life, in Belgium, England and recently in Scotland. But his previous owners were looking for a quieter life, and he fitted my requirements perfectly! So we are working towards Prelim/Novice unaffiliated next year with the eventual aim of moving up to affiliated. However, I would like to do some RC jumping with him (and camp next year!) but find myself very nervous at even the thought of going over a pole!! I can narrow it down to a few things, firstly I worry my position is awful, and jumping itself scares me. I don't want to fall off, nor jump the sky. Would be quite happy to pop round 2' but that seems like a million miles away from where I am at the moment.

I know I have only had him 5 weeks, so am not in any rush, but before I begin jumping lessons (with new instructor who I have heard nothing but amazing things about) I want to at least be jumping about 2'.

HHO Confidence Club, I need your help! How do I get my confidence back? :confused:
 
Oh blimey, that's a tricky one. If it's any help, after my last jumping disaster (lets just say Shy and I disageed about leaving the ground or not), I lost my confidence in jumping. especially as the whole world seemed to be watching. Since, I have been plodding around, trying not to put any stress on myself at all - I think I tried to do too much too soon on a youngster - literally just hacking out walking. And schooling, lots of transitions.

UNTIL - yesterday someone had left a jump up (1.5 ft ?) and as we were going around, I though hmmmmmmmm. I could see Shy looking at it (he adores jumping), and against my better judgement, as hubs wasn't there - we popped it. :D Then again, and again and again :D

That is it for now, but my god, I know we CAN do it.
 
I'm really glad to have found this thread! I'm usually a lurker but want to join this club :)

I've ridden for around 10-11 years now, starting off at an amazing riding school where my confidence grew and grew. I wouldn't say I was confident by nature, but any worries I had I would push aside and jump on anyway as I trusted the riding school and trusted myself to deal with anything that arose. The riding school was one which was very focused on dressage, and didn't have anywhere to hack (all bridle paths closed round about) so I was only really used to riding in an indoor school or quite 'highly strung' sensitive horses. We did occasionally ride in a flat paddock outside during the summer and nothing bad ever happened there. My mum wanted to me get used to hacking outside so she payed for a few hacks out at different yards and I enjoyed them, although it was very different to riding in a school all the time - I learnt that I didn't feel as much in control and that if the horse wanted to bolt off, there's not much I could do to stop it. When I got a bit older I started working at couple of other yards (the riding school I started at was great and I worked there at first, but was pretty far away). At these yards I again would hop on anything, and did have a couple of falls in open fields but nothing too bad, just made me a little bit nervous but that soon passed. About 3-4 years ago I got a little 4 year old cob from the owners of a yard who had said there little daughters rode. He was fine in a small area, although a little spooky, but one day riding him in a larger paddock he spooked and bolted off, I just had to sit there and let him run off his energy as there was no stopping him. My saddle then unfortunately slipped and when I tried to even it up he swerved sharply and I came flying off. I cracked my head of solid summer ground and knocked myself out for a couple of seconds. When I woke up I didn't know where I was an half my vision was blurry! Managed to catch the pony and walk him round. YO then ran over asking if I was okay and at this point I was so out of it I didn't know who he was, so when he asked if I was okay and if I wanted a leg up again (pony was broken with a saddle too small for him , didn't have any pain but had the memory of the pain) I agreed. Pony then reared and I still have no idea how I landed but I'm pretty sure I smacked the back of my head again! Called it a day then. Got a lift home from a friend and as soon as my mum saw me she took me up to a&e (she's a nurse). Had an X-ray and was told I had crack running into my hip, badly bruised bone in my shoulder and severe concussion. Was told not to ride for a few months.

A few months later though I went back to my old RS, and although I was a bit nervous I got on and done it on a schoolmaster I knew and was fine. I rode quite a few times after that and although initially nervous I was fine - even fell off in the snow and got back on laughing (was out with my non-horsey boyfriend at a trekking centre on holiday and my bf told them I was very experienced and liked dressage, so they put me on their huge chestnut dressage mare who had separation anxiety when taking her down a wee path for a canter on her own...),

However, I started university and had to pay for everything myself, so I gradually stopped riding at all. Didn't even go near a horse for around a year, maybe over. Earlier this year I decided I really missed it and found a woman I used to ride with when I was younger on Facebook again. Starting visiting her and getting a couple of lessons on her horses, but my confidence is COMPLETELY shattered! :( feel sick and dizzy getting on, I tense up so much my shoulders are basically touching my ears and it takes me the whole lesson to calm down. My friend shares out her horse (she has 40) and I asked if I could share one which I could build a bond up and get my confidence back that way. So now I'm am full sharing (basically loaning out but still on her yard) Oscar, a beautiful 6 year old Arab x cob who is a little green, but has a lovely nature. I have had him around 3 months now and feel stuck in a rut of avoiding riding! I have ridden him a few times and he's very chilled and calm, and I come off grinning from ear to ear. But I only get on him after a lot of persuading and other people getting on him first. Recently he has rain scald which is clearly itchy and uncomfortable under his tack, and he has mini reared a couple of time in hand and while ridden. He has also when down and fully rolled with his tack on! Now this has set my confidence back even further as I now point blank refuse to get on him, and after him unexpectedly pretended to be a racehorse and tearing the leadrope out my hand in the field and then broncing up the path when caught again, I'm now even avoiding bringing him in! I'm usually fine on the ground with most things, and I was fine at the time (although peed off being left to trudge after him in the mud) for some reason I feel less confident with him! I'm now swithering on whether to give him up and go back to lessons, or push myself to be confidence with a generally lovely placid boy who is only 6 and can have 'moments' which arent even that bad?

Bit of an essay I know, but need to get it all off my chest and speak to other people with similar issues, as although my friend and people at the yard understand, I feel embarrassed to be feeling and acting like this!
 
Do you think it was to do with the rainscald hurting him that he behaved in a way that frightened you? Might be a good idea to ask vet to look, treat and advise on riding or not. Whilst he is mending what about some groundwork in the school, grooming him, etc to continue building up the bond? I should think he is very bothered by the rainscald if he got down and rlled in his saddle!
Hope you and he feel a lot better and calmer very soom.
 
Yeah I'm almost positive it's because of the rainscald. Just got some anti-bacterial shampoo today and going to scrub his rug tomorrow. Only thing is there's 30 horses in his field and a few of them have it so it may take a while to clear them all up! Yeah groundwork in the school is a good idea. I saw that someone was doing some interested loose schooling with cones and bending etc the other day do will try that. Just feel like giving up a lot of the time because of my confidence! :( thanks for the reply :)
 
Hi, me again! I dont think rainscald is catching, so the 30 other horses in Oscar's field , if they also have it, are unlikely to reinfect him. You mentioned that the rainscald was 'clearly uncomfortable and itchy under his tack'; perhaps you shouldn't have put his tack on it in the first place, if he had scabs or lesions under it?
Don't want to sound nasty, btw, but perhaps have vet out to advise on rainscald management and then it will clear up and you can ride again, if you decide to do so.
 
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I'd like to join this thread too.

I was bolted with many moons ago and although the situation has never happened since, the fear is now fully wedged in my brain and I can not over come it! I've tried and tried!

I now have a bombproof cob but even he scares me at times. I honestly think sometimes that I shouldnt be riding. All I long for is to feel confident enough to canter in open space but I fear that this will never happen.

I cantered uphill on a hack the other day, it was fast and Mr D was amazing. Once we stopped, I was a shivering wreck and after we got back from the hack I cried. They were tears of joy because I actually felt like a horse rider, doing normal fun things like everyone else but then a few days later on another hack, Mr D got excited in a field and although he didn't do anything, the fact I knew he was excited was enough to send fear raging through me and now I find myself doubting him :(

Seriously, if I can't trust him and feel confident on him then I don't think Its ever going to happen for me. Half the time I don't even think its that I fear him but just the fact the fear in within me and it doesn't seem to want to bugger off!

I've often thought about just letting him go in a field and seeing what happens because it can't be as bad as what I believe will happen in my mind because the fear of what might happen is the worst scenario so if it did happen, it's what I was feeling scared for anyway......if any of that just made sence??? Basically, if I'm already imagining the worst before its happened, what do I have to lose because I have zero confidence anyway?
 
The rainscald isn't at the point that you can see it, you can just feel it under neath his coat in some places, mostly on top of his bum and one bit at the side where the saddle flap would go. We have a vet who keeps her horse at our yard and she said it was fine to ride with? I only noticed he's itchy because him wanted to roll and him getting frustrated and doing a mini rear, at which point got off him straight away and not been on since! She said it was a fungal infection and the bacteria can spread?
 
Also to add he rolled fully in his tack when being lunged a few days before the mini rear, he hadn't been in the school for ages and at the time just assumed it was because the last time he was in there was just for a leg stretch and a wee roll and play about, so he assumed that by going in he could roll again. Obviously wasn't the case but at that point I didn't really know what rain scald was so didnt put two and two together.
 
Shy and I went out with a TB and a hunter today - and we had a full on gallop ! Bless him, his little legs couldn't keep up and he was squealing at the horses to slow down ! It was our first gallop for ages, and we both loved it, so I think I can say I have my nerve back (for now).

It has been a very tough month trying to get back to normal, all because of that fall. I didn't hurt myself, Shy was ok (altho his saddle obviously had to be changed) but I just don't think I was in a very good place when it happened.
 
We were 5mins down the road and she started bucking and spinnining - managed to get her down the road, at one stage she was cantering. Got her to meeting point , she chilled out so thought all ok, was so wrong, kept bucking, took off tried barging through other horses - had no control whatsoever. Thank god instructor was with me and ended up being able to corner us into a hedge. Got off and remounted a good few times trying to work through it but no joy! Totally deflated, so got off and went back to yard on foot - have to think safety first and have couple of young kids. Had visions of being trampled by the hunt. She is only a youngster though - it wasn't out of badness she was just so hyped up.
 
Oh blimey, that would have scared the pants off me...is that it, or are you going to try again some time ? Hope you are ok though ((((((((((HUGS)))))).
 
Good for you! Well done for not giving up, and being sensible about the level of risk too. Imo, you did the best thing at the time, and had your instructor to help you as well. My father, sadly long gone, was one of the "Bomber Boys" in WW2, and used to tell me that courage was knowing the risks and still doing what needed to be done. Think you have courage!
 
OK been a while since I wrote Ive only been able to ride at weekends and when its not chucking it down.

I have had a new saddle fitted to Finn which as helped loads already I feel safer and he moves so much more freely its amazing that a saddle can restrict movement like he had, anyway Ive loved riding him all the time hacking out schooling etc and might now be taking him to a clear round at the end of this month YIKES!!! should be a good laugh and hope he is good (no reason why he wouldn't be) so all being well and I go will do my best to get pics taken of us.

Hope your all doing well?.

I have a few more steps to go yet I know that for sure
 
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