HHO Confidence Club...

so a little update from me and my lovely boy, who ive had since august. we've continued with lessons, and to gently hack around the village, we've now progressed to cantering in most lessons 3 or 4 times- not always with great grace or style, and i even dared tell my instructor my hidden wish- id like to tackle a little jump!!

so big :):) from me, and this week i plan to hack a little further :)
 
Hi,
I would like to join this club.
I got my first horse when I was 18 I am now 33. I had no experience could not ride but bought a thoroughbred gelding anyway. He was very unsuitable for me he used to Knapp and became very dangerous to ride on the road. I later found out he had lameness issues and should not be ridden!.
So a few years later I bought a new horse from a dealer turned out to be a nut case, had him with two professional trainers who could not make him any better. Dealer agreed to take said horse back if I paid more money towards a new horse so I part ex ed said horse for more expensive horse who turned out to have string halt. Took new horse back dealer would not give me any money back. So ended up with the original nutty horse back as at least it would pass a vetting. Eventually sold nutty horse to teenage girl who liked them sharp and on the edge, lost a fortune though and could not ride the horse while I found someone to buy him.
So then I decided to buy a youngster that my trainer knew of. He was unbalanced as he was very young he tripped one day in the school and nearly landed on top of me. I then became terrified that he was going to trip every time i rode him so I stopped riding him. He tripped one day when hacking with someone else and had to be put to sleep.
I then bought a lovely four year old gelding who I did not ride very much but my trainer successfully competed him for me. He had to be retired at five years old due to lameness arthritis in his hocks. So I never got to ride him for any prolonged time.
So I have in the past had horses that were unsuitable for me . I have lost my confidence I have been paying for horses for someone else to ride. I would love to buy a new horse that I could ride but I am too scared to go and try out a new horse. I think I will ride terrible due to nerves, I also get worried about cantering. I have not ridden regularly enough to get my confidence back. I do not really enjoy riding schools, I like to have lessons on schoolmaster horses with professional trainers but this can get expensive and finding someone who can teach regularly is very difficult. I think it is very difficult to get your confidence back without owning your own horse and riding and taking lessons regularly. So it is a vicious circle I want to buy a new horse but my nerves and ability make going to try a new horse too scary. But without my own horse I do not see how I will get my confidence back and improve.
 
Fair play Ellis - well done!

Small update myself - had a slight blip 1.5wks ago where somehow I was out of my mind and decided to take my mare hunting!!!! Wtf was I thinking - we ended up coming home , it was just too much for her and me! BUT despite her being a handfull on the way down ( I got off twice) I did manage to hack down and did give it a go. Completely broke through the mental barrier I'd had 3mths ago - to say my confidence is 100 per cent better is an understatment! We have started intensive schooling with my instructor as now have dealt with confidence issues can now work on me being the rider I need to be and getting my mare up to a standard so we can get out competing @ dressage initially. We were working on quarters in and mare got very frustrated and made an attempt to go up on her back legs - shocked myself as just laughed and rode through it - had that been 3mths ago I would have bailed and given up for the day..... Oh and put my 6year old up on her yesterday for the very first time and she was a total lamb! !
 
Show pony- well done, shame about the hunting but well done for dealing with it, and well done for crashing thru that barrier of confidence- I can't wait yo get yo the point where I laugh instead of tense up when something 'bad' happens :)
 
Thought I would re-ignite this thread as few more threads popping up lately.
Me on the other hand needs to seriously get a grip with myself though everytime I think about getting in the saddle I almost freeze with nerves I shake and breathing gets heavy so how on earth can I get on my mare like this knowing full well she will take the mick out of me and play up
I've been on horses that have really helped my lost confidence massively and just because I have a tb I'm terrified, she's done nothing wrong at all its me I freeze soon as she starts trying to play me up I get off through fear il get thrown off or tanked off with.
I've sent her away to be brought back into work and went to see her today she looks so happy and chilled she has a gorgeous personality and is a pleasure to be around yet I'm still unsure about getting back on her I panic.
I have thought about selling her to someone that will have lots of fun on her she's not nasty in any way it's purely my emotions.
I want to give her another go but also think I need to have a simple cobby plod to help me out again I'm even too scared to have lessons on her :/
Don't know what to do for best of me or my horse
 
This is a great idea :)

I am swapping my usual safe and sound plod for an Ex- racer been out of work all over winter Mare in a few days :eek: and she has just been moved to a new yard double :eek::eek:. We are going to lunge her first and get to know her properly she is my friends horse who is frightened of riding her after a nasty fall on another horse.

I am nervous she is quite dainty and there is not much to hang onto if she throws in some arguments during schooling to build her muscle ! I may need some super glue :D:cool:
 
Ah I forgot about this thread! Update from me - still have O on lwvtb. Have moved him to a new yard where he is loving life. He's put on weight, isn't getting bullied in the field and I now have a stable for him. However, as he's feeling so good he's now majorly trying to test the boundaries on the ground. Dragging me in, planting, barging etc. all baby stuff, not vicious, as its quite clear the lady who had him before did nothing with installing manners. However, I've never had to 'teach' a horse boundaries before, so I'm learning how to do that - backing up, not giving up etc. I'm fairly comfortable with this.

Thing is, I've not ridden him in months. Gave him the winter off and he's been brought back into work by a girl at my yard. He's been good as gold apparently coming back into work, but something is STILL putting me off riding him. I rode at the start of the year when I was in Florida on my ex's cousins horses, on a horse I didn't know, western style on a hack for 2 hours. So I know that it's not 'riding' I'm scared off, as i do get on and do it.

Lady at the yard basically had a go at me last night saying there was no point in me having O as I don't 'get any enjoyment' out of him. I do love him, but I see where she's coming from obviously. He's rising 7, an Arab x, spooky and very green. Not what I was looking for at all when I came back to riding, but I sort of ended up with him as a 'favour' which is a long story. I wouldn't want him going back to his owner as I know he'll be left to lose condition and be miserable again!
I've seen a mare for sale near me who sounds like what I need - 16 years old and safe and sane. Couldn't afford to keep 2 horses so now I don't know what to do! Go and see the mare or just forget it about it and keep persevering with O?

X
 
This is a great idea. I've been riding for almost 23 years now though only sporadically over the last few years due to not having a ned to play on.

Confidence got massively dented when I was viewing a horse to buy that had been perfect whilst hacking until we got to a field and he went from a steady canter to an uncontrollable gallop. No amount of seat, leg or voice aids calmed him down and after several laps of the field I went out the side door.

Since then I get massively wobbly when it comes to mounting and the first few minutes of riding a new horse, after that I tend to calm down but those first few moments are awful. I'm looking to get a new horse of my own later on in the year but for now need to get these nerves in check.
 
Chotty - I agree with the lady at your yard that if you don't get any enjoyment from O perhaps you should look for something you would enjoy more, but, and it's a BIG but, what you do next depends on whether you feel you could get somewhere with O if you had a knowledgeable friend or good instructor to hand? If even with help you still don't think you could get to a good place with O then perhaps you should go try the mare and see how she feels.
 
This is a fantastic thread, thank you Shysmum. If anyone has read some of my other posts they will know that I'm a nervous rider too. I've no idea why - I've been tanked off with in the past and have never had a really bad fall - deep concussion, broken ribs and black eyes are as far as it's gone - and I'm not really that bothered about getting hurt.

One big problem that I'm having trouble getting over is the 'oh so confident' riders around me who make me feel like my 'baby steps' towards getting myself back together aren't good enough. But I have now decided that I have had enough of worrying about what they think and I'm just going to get on with what I need to do and stuff them! Possibly easier said than done, but I really am going to put some effort into keeping that thought because my old boy (25 yr old), once he has some weight back on him (not making an excuse here, he's not wintered well at all) could do with some gentle exercise to stop him getting crochety and stiff as he gets older. So together we will build up to some hopefully decent hacks, starting with a few minutes and getting longer as we both get stronger and I get less nervy.

Best of luck to everyone else out there who is struggling with their nerves - keep at it - we'll all win through eventually
 
I like to think I'm confident but in reality I'm not - lost it all last summer when I fractured my ankle jumping... Then fell off again exactly the same way 7 weeks later!
Haven't jumped since and starting to feel like I'm wasting my horse :( He hasn't done much jumping but apparently loves it.
I also hate leading on hacks as on the way out he'll nap (just spin round) unless he's following and on the way back he'll try cantering on the road. Last week we had to trot out the way of a tractor, ofcourse my horse trotting super fast got us in front and I had the horrible experience of trying to slow down my horse, avoid parked and on coming cars through a tiny village and just get home safe!
I read all the napping and confidence threads and taken bits of advice to try so hoping my confidence will improve over time!
 
Nice to see some activity back on this thread so will do a little update.

So background, had a nasty accident 11+yrs ago, fractured my neck. only got back in Saddle last year , was 2 mths back riding & bought a 4yo:rolleyes:
So first 6mths were testing had couple falls, including one where I was slammed into the arena fence at speed which broke on impact:eek: after " That fall" I lost all confidence jumping.

So roll on next couple mths - came 3rd out of 10th in our first Prelim Outing:D our first Rosette.
Attempted to go out & jump & she acted the numpty and tanked around - was a bit disheartned after this & really only back jumping couple of weeks now but am " riding her into the fences " and way more confident in my ability.
We did a yard show at the weekend & she let me down & I came off splat into a huge mucky puddle on front of an audience:eek: The difference was this time, I got back up & went back and jumped couple of fences in the warm up - that I wouldnt have done 3mths ago.. I didn't get that stressy or sick feeling - I actually laughed!

We are off XC schooling for the first time in couple wks & then have a busy schedule over the summer...

My bravepants are back in business & couldnt be happier.
 
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