Horrible panicking when I feel out of control

[Sanversera]

I sympathise. After several crashing falls I found myself in a similar place. My solution was to stop riding and do just inhand things, leading,long reini g. After many months I decided to tack up and mount. I did just that. Then dismounted right away. This lead to little walks and then trots. I still don't canter but I'll do little jumps at trot. Riding is meant to be fun. It doesn't have to be competitive. You don't have to do everything. Just walk in the arena if that suits you,if not then lead. Just enjoy your time with the horse. Grooming creates a great peaceful bond too.

 

[lynz88]

Wow I can relate to this. My horse has physical issues which when it is bothering him, can make him super spooky. His MO is take off including backwards. He has little to no regard for anything around him. He has dumped me a number of times or will throw in a random massive tantrum out of the blue. Problem is, is he still needs to do very light work - not doing anything makes his arthritis worse. We mostly walk now but we still have moments of "holy " i am not the most confident and neither is he. Some may say 2 peas in a pod...generally ok but when we aren't....

I try to stay in places where we mostly feel safe and that we know. Doing long line work in scarier places helps significantly but he has "typical" places that he will nap or get spooky/looky no matter what.

I get really tense and will be adopting some of the techniques on here. I am one who likes to push my boundaries but within a safety net if that makes sense. I have lately been trying different bits as anything slightly strong makes the spookiness worse - he curls and I really have nothing. Could be an avenue to explore? I have found a bit he seems to like which relaxes him much more (only problem is he was spooky on the weekend and I was quite certain I was going to die with limited 'control' as the bit is very soft. I have learned a one rein stop works very, very well to break the spooky mental circles but struggled to do this).

It is the thought of not being able to regain control and what stupid thing he will do with pedestrians, cars, etc. if he does take off and dumps me that scares me the most.

Basically saying OP, that you are not alone!!! I have never been a confident rider and have either been involved in or have witnessed some very serious falls.

Eta: with my bit trials I have been purposely trying to find scary situations to see how the bit handles even though I am allergic to putting myself in such situations! Seems counterintuitive but feels like if I know if I can get the horse "back" from a major spook then I personally feel safer and more confident.

Eta #2: my body is wrecked from many moons of falls and variois accidents. It means that i am not as secure or effective in riding. Since I started seeing my chiro/physio and doing PT to help in my rehab, I find it puts me in a much better position and able to handle surprises better. Not sure if you have any aches, pains, and/or compensations?

Eta#3: how is the saddle? Different saddles will put you in different positions which affect how you communicate with your horse which can affect confidence. I have fallen off in saddles that didn't suit me and also ones that horse didn't like.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

If you are in the Devon area please feel free to PM me as I know exactly the right person who could help you.

What you need is an "Equine Confidence Mentor": someone who can ride out with you and give you practical coping mechanisms; it isn't about making the sensations you are feeling go away, it is about managing those issues so they don't have that sense of being overwhelming. Things like breath control, positive visualisation, self-affirmation, and developing a positive mindset are all things that you can do away from the horse, and which will be beneficial to you.

 

[Spirit3106]

How are you getting on spirit3106? Did you try out the other share horse?

Thank you for checking in! I actually completely forgot about this thread I did try her and got on really well, I'm having some learning curves with her atm (she's got separation anxiety - I actually returned to make a post about it lol), but to ride she's definitely a lot more manageable and my speed than the last guy. I don't feel anxious in her saddle so I'm doing a lot better I think with my panics!

 

[Flying_Form]

Hiya,
I've always had this really frustrating problem. I've ridden for ~8 years, ridden at tons of riding schools, hacking, started part loaning the last year, so you'd probably think I'd be a lot more advanced than I am...

But I'm really not. And it's all because I've always had a really big issue with panicking, specifically when I feel out of control.
On a horse that I feel confident on, I'm great. I love jumping a course, going for a gallop, trying new things. The thing that makes me feel confident on a horse, is knowing that I have brakes and can stop at any time.

But that isn't the case, of course, on a horse that gets any bit forward, strong, excited, spooked etc,. I've had some really awful experiences over the years with horses taking off, and while I've never had an injury resulting from it, the whole experience of being stuck on a horse in a situation I can't safely get out of has really stuck with me. It can feel like nobody really understands it, or has ever felt the same level of fear when riding that I do. It's held me back so much and it's so frustrating because I'd love to progress, but every time I get pushed outside my comfort zone, I completely freeze up. I tense and I can't think beyond trying to immediately stop the situation before it escalates.

I went to view a new potential part loan a few days ago, his owner said that he's a confidence giver and was a first loan for a tween coming off riding school ponies, so I thought he'd be easy for me.. He was very forward and felt quite strong (to me!), like he wasn't trying to kill me in hindsight but I felt awful on him and at the time couldn't think of anything other than how anxious I felt.

It feels so embarrassing because I love being able to perfect and work on my skills in all my hobbies/things I enjoy. And horses and riding, is genuinely my absolute favourite thing to do, above all else. And it's the thing I'm the worst at, I've been doing it for so long and I've always tried so hard but I have this mental block that I feel like I can't overcome. I'm kind of just feeling so discouraged by how much my anxiety and fear limits me. Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? It really feels like I must genuinely be the most anxious rider in the world at times!

I really sympathise with you because I was that rider many years ago when i came off ponies. I was used to small strides and old reliables and felt very out of control on the horse I got afterwards and was petrified to jump a course.

As a lot of people said above, being pushed out of your comfort zone a little every ride will only make you more confident and increase that threshold for yourself. It’s easier said than done however, but just know that anxiety or nervousness about being too fast or out of control is a very warranted reaction from your body and don’t be afraid to just sit with it and reflect on it.

I do also think in those “oh shit” moments where you feel you don’t have control, if you can bring the adrenaline down for a millisecond to think and not panic (also easier said than done, but the more you find yourself in these situations the easier and quicker this conversation with yourself becomes) do try to have the conversation with yourself - am I out of control or is the horse just forward, if the horse is just forward can I sit with it and breathe and get used to this feeling, if I can’t sit with it is there a way I can control this without panicking.

Of course if a horse is bolting there is more to deal with and it’s understandable if you panic if it’s a new situation or a new horse! But if a horse is getting forward on you vs taking off with you, learning to sit with that feeling for a second and read the situation will really build that “I did it before I can do it again” connection with your brain. Something often overlooked is breathing, I always say woah while taking a big breath out and you would be surprised how much quicker that works at relaxing me and the horse in comparison to pulling on the reins and panicking.

And when in doubt keep circling in the arena and saying woah - repetitive circles are hard for horses and most horses get very bored very quick of cantering a 15 metre circle!

 

[Little bit old-fashioned]

Thank you for checking in! I actually completely forgot about this thread I did try her and got on really well, I'm having some learning curves with her atm (she's got separation anxiety - I actually returned to make a post about it lol), but to ride she's definitely a lot more manageable and my speed than the last guy. I don't feel anxious in her saddle so I'm doing a lot better I think with my panics!

This is such good news and I'm so pleased to hear it! Really glad you are enjoying her. We all have different types of horses we gel with and really happy to hear you are finding that with her.