Horse Buying Quandary -Urgent Advice Needed??

[Arabella77]

Morning everyone....im having a bit of a quandary and was hoping I could get your advice.....

So after a long wait (30yrs!) I’m in an incredibly lucky position to be able to go horse shopping!

I currently part own a youngster, whom I didn’t plan on buying, but did it to save her and help a friend out. She’s lovely but unfortunately hasnt grown big enough for me. I do ride her and have rebacked and brought her on, as am not heavy, but at 13.3hh and being quite tall, I do look slightly silly on her! I have also owned a couple of ponies I rescued and rehabilitated and had several horses on part loan over the years. So in theory this is my first ‘proper’ horse!

I have a huge passion for Arabs so I’ve been mainly concentrating on seeking those out. It’s been a lot trickier than I thought as there doesn’t seem to be many ridden Arabs around. I’ve contacted all the Arabian studs and put posts out on Facebook Arabian groups etc. I’ve had a quite a few replies and yesterday drove 3hrs to go and view one who seemed to tick all the boxes!

I took my very knowledgeable professional friend with me and the viewing went very well.. he comes from a lovely home, who have owned him since a foal, he’s a good size, no issues and stunningly beautiful. I watched him being schooled and I hacked him out. Couldn’t really fault him!

.......So why oh why do I feel so meh?!! My husband said he expected to come home really excited and I didn’t seem to be and I can’t work out why..... I’m thinking maybe it’s because he is literally the first horse I’ve viewed and I’m worried I haven’t given it enough time. Is this a normal feeling? Should I ‘feel’ that special connection like you do when you meet the right guy etc? ive not done this properly before so am hoping someone can tell me what I should do?!

Am I being silly by hesitating and not making an offer on him ASAP?! I’ve told them I will decide by today as not sure he will be around long, though they said they weren’t advertising him.

There is another potential I am very keen to see a long way away again but I don’t mind that, but I can’t see him for two weeks as he’s on loan to a uni student. What’s should I do? Someone please advise!! Thank you ?

 

[Cutgrass]

I think there are a few subconscious biases at play here. You're trying to second guess how you 'should' feel, while at the same time applying logic along the lines of 'he's the first I've seen so have no comparisons'. No wonder it's confusing!

How would you feel if you found out he'd sold today? What was your friend's view?

To give a personal perspective, I always feel very 'meh' in these situations and have come to realise that I've become frightened of commitment as I get older?

 

[Arabella77]

Thank you?my friend thought the same as me so hasn’t given me much more help tbh! All my friends and family say ultimately it’s my decision. If he was sold I would feel sad but confident there is a horse out there for me. My friends in the Arab world have said maybe I should hang on as with winter coming there may be more available at better prices.....but they have also said that there aren’t many ridden Arabs around! He is the top of my budget but I think he is well priced though a little green, which is what I wanted. I wonder if it acceptable to tell the truth to the owners and see if they would hang on a bit longer. I don’t think they are in a particular rush but probably wouldn’t want to risk turning down other viewings either. I’m not sure how I would feel if I was asked that...?

 

[Kahlua]

So my experience - I just purchased a young horse last week after searching for 6 months and not having owned by own horse for about 6 years. Once I made the commitment to buy I didn’t have regret, but I had a weird sense of unease - I know this is because I have ridden clients horses for so long, and to suddenly make a commitment of my own money, which is not a small amount, freaked me out a little bit! My husband was actually more excited than me, probably because I have stopped complaining about not having my own horse and he knows I’m a much nicer person when I’m riding ?

Anyway, I have kept watching the videos I took of her and looked at pictures and started buying things for her and now I’m superrrrrr excited! So I would say not to judge yourself too harshly on these unsure feelings! The only thing is that when I sat on her, I knew she was the one. So, there has to be some point in the process when you felt excited about him, otherwise no matter how perfect he is on paper, it may actually be that he isn’t quite right for you. Think about if you saw him with someone else, would you really regret it? And then of course I’m assuming you will vet him, so that could always throw a spanner in the works. There is always potentially another “better” horse out there but you should think about whether you could be without this horse or not.

 

[Arabella77]

Thanks....I’m going To swoon over his photos again and see if I get a feeling......

 

[Baywonder]

I think the question regarding how you would feel if he was sold to someone else is a valid one to ask yourself.

When I bought my very first pony at the age of 16, I was really excited, but with a hint of "oh heck, what have I done?" thrown into the mix. I was excited, as he was my first pony - who wouldn't be?!

However, when I compare how I felt about my first pony and my last old boy, there was a world of difference. My old boy was my horse of a lifetime. When I first went to view him, I decided I wanted him the second I spotted him ambling over the field coming to call. It broke every rule in the horse buying book - but it was my gut instinct and it proved right.

You did absolutely the right thing taking your friend with you to the viewing - maybe have another chat to her about it and see what she thinks?

Ultimately, it is your decision, and if you are unsure at all, maybe this is not the right horse for you after all.

Good luck OP - please let us know what you decide to do.

 

[HashRouge]

On the one hand I'm a big believer in going with your gut, and this is suggesting that maybe this horse isn't quite right for you...
But, on the other hand, finding a tall, ridden Arab that goes nicely in the school is not easy at all! Most of the Arabs I see for sale are under 15hh (I'm guessing you wanted taller than this, but might be wrong). Often they aren't backed or they don't look to have been brought on very well and there are quite a few weedy, not very well put together ones out there too. If you've found one that ticks all the right boxes, you're doing pretty well! It might just be me but I don't think Arabs are quite as popular as they were back in the late 90s/ early 00s, so it can be harder finding a really nice one, especially if you want a taller one.

Could you ask to go back and ride again? You say you watched him being schooled - did you get a chance to ride him in the school? Maybe you could ask to do that?

 

[Arabella77]

thanks again all....yes Hash, I’ve been looking for over 15hh....he is 15.1hh, perfect for me and was bum high ..I’ve been Thinking more and looking back at his photos and videos.....It utterly pains me but I think I’m going to have to go with my gut feeling and agree he just doesn’t see the right one for me....I may bloomin well regret it but I’m just not sure and I’m in no rush....well apart from the livery yard I’m thinking of moving to typically has a space ready for September, which would tie in with buying him etc.....but I could stay where I am temporarily as they’ve reserved me a space there...I haven’t decided 100% so will hold off contacting his owners until later.....

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

thanks again all....yes Hash, I’ve been looking for over 15hh....he is 15.1hh, perfect for me and was bum high ..I’ve been Thinking more and looking back at his photos and videos.....It utterly pains me but I think I’m going to have to go with my gut feeling and agree he just doesn’t see the right one for me....I may bloomin well regret it but I’m just not sure and I’m in no rush....well apart from the livery yard I’m thinking of moving to typically has a space ready for September, which would tie in with buying him etc.....but I could stay where I am temporarily as they’ve reserved me a space there...I haven’t decided 100% so will hold off contacting his owners until later.....

Can you explain what it is that you think is missing in this horse, that means that you aren't sure? I have only once viewed more than 2 or 3 horses when I have been looking for a new one, because I narrow down the potentials at the advert stage, so I wouldn't worry that he is the first one you have seen, especially when there aren't many of what you want available. I have certainly bought the first one on at least 2 occasions.
I know he is quite a distance away but I would ask if you can have a 2nd viewing before you reject him completely. I don't really understand why you didn't ride him in the school - do you think the owner was trying to avoid that?

 

[Arabella77]

He was ridden in the school first by the owners friend for a good 15mins, then we hacked out together with said friend on other horse...I probably should have ridden him in school too but they didn’t invite me too?

 

[Meowy Catkin]

I would also try a second viewing if you can arrange it (ETA - yes definitely ask to ride him in the school). I love arabs and have the added bonus of needing one suitable for a disabled rider. That requirement absolutely outweighs any 'falling in love' at the first viewing and I don't feel that long term it was an issue to not have that as our horse/human relationship developed naturally over time and we soon became a team and I love her to the bones.

 

[wren123]

You definitely need to ride him in the school and hack out on your own, unless you never want to hack on your own.

 

[Arabella77]

Thank you all, due to the distance it’s a bit of a pain arranging another viewing unfortunately. I absolutely know I should though so I’m really torn. Maybe I should just go for it and I’m sure he will be great and I’d be excited when it all started happening..the other half of me thinks otherwise....so I’m still going to think on it??‍?

 

[ester]

So there was a time when I wondered if I were ridiculous waiting for some sort of gut feeling, particularly as I am much more of a logical analyser.
Someone else locally actually bought mine, who in the age of not much internet was a bit much and a bit far for us at the time. She hacked him past the house and I fell in love and wished we had gone to see him.
She approx.2 months max before she put him on the market (he was the first of 7 ponies she bought and failed with that summer, eventually buying back the one she sold).
That was 15 years ago, he's now 27 and I am endlessly pleased that I waited for a gut.

 

[Buster2020]

To be honest it sounds to me you’re scared of the commitment. The problem with that is the you will feel the same with every horse you try. If he tickets the box’s then i say go for it .

 

[Arabella77]

I’ve now changed my mind and realised that he’s a fab sort and I would regret it not even attempting to make an offer so am about to do so!!

 

[cobgoblin]

I always find I'm very aware of the possibility of being disappointed when I view. The logical side takes over and analyses suitability etc.
I've walked away many times on first sight of the horse.
I don't find the excitement kicks in until I've committed to buy.

 

[cobgoblin]

I’ve now changed my mind and realised that he’s a fab sort and I would regret it not even attempting to make an offer so am about to do so!!

Now you're sounding a bit more excited.

 

[The Xmas Furry]

OP, could you buy if all boxes ticked, but tell yourself that if you dont gel within 6 months, to sell on?
That's what I told myself about B Fuzzy, that she was likely to be a schooler and seller on. Mainly due to me not trying her due to distance, 13+ hrs drive each way in the UK.........
However, 20 months down the line, there is no way I'm selling and have decided that she's got very much under my skin. The decision was actually made about 4 months in!

 

[Kahlua]

Ahh sorry I assumed you rode him in the school! Personally I would go back and ride in the school - I find it a bit strange they didn’t get you to before hacking out, unless that’s your main requirement?

I do think gut feel plays a part, it’s one thing to not be excited at all, as opposed to not being excited because of the commitment. Try to differentiate between the two. You will put in a lot of time, money and effort so being a little bit excited is important.

My new horse ticked some boxes, not all, I looked at 35 horses in 3 days and there were some in that group that ticked all of my boxes technically, but I didn’t have the connection with those horses that I had with the one I decided to move ahead with. As I said, my unsure moment came after I’d committed, I loved the horse from the moment I sat in the saddle ?

Edited to add: ah I now see you’re a bit more excited!! If you’re feeling this way then that’s awesome and probably your answer on whether you want him ? Let us know how you go!!

 

[Flame_]

Buy him! Buy him! Buy Him! Buy Him! Buy Him! You are doing, Yay

 

[Quigleyandme]

I have felt pretty meh about all the horses in my life until I get to know them whereupon I‘ve quite simply loved them warts and all. I had one come to me as a broken down ex hunter to have a holiday before the kennel man was summoned to shoot him. I loathed that horse for various reasons but he melted my black, withered heart and I enjoyed and loved him for twelve years much to the chagrin of the MFH because he was a big lad (in my avatar) and would have fed a lot of hounds.

 

[Summit]

I’ve now changed my mind and realised that he’s a fab sort and I would regret it not even attempting to make an offer so am about to do so!!

and?

 

[oldie48]

Well you have probably already made an offer for him, but I buy if it ticks the boxes, spend the next 6-12 months deciding if it is as described then end up falling for it (or selling on!). I just find it takes me time to get to know the horse and a big part of that is finding out if it has any quirks and if it has, is it something I can and am happy to deal with. Perhaps it's a sign of old age!

 

[Arabella77]

I made an offer and it was declined! I’m not going any higher so have left my offer on the table and if it’s meant to be it will be...the search continues?

 

[splashgirl45]

just looked on horsequest in the arabs section, there is a pretty grey 15,2 arab on there , dont know how confident you are but says he needs a competent rider..he is 11 and only backed last year £3500

 

[Cutgrass]

You HAVE to keep us updated now! I feel really invested in your search. Shame the offer wasn't accepted but tbh that's probably a sign in itself. If the sellers thought you were THE ONE for the horse they'd want you to have him. That's no judgement on you, more a comment that they'll know what he's like.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

Have you looked on Arabian lines?

I did see a nice ridden Arab mare on preloved that looked nice, I agree the good ridden ones don't come up often and are pricey.

Where are you? I might be able to help I have Arabs myself so may know of something somewhere.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

The one I saw is 7 15.1 grey Arab mare has a good ridden showing record and dressage £5,500 in Carmarthenshire

 

[cobgoblin]

You HAVE to keep us updated now! I feel really invested in your search. Shame the offer wasn't accepted but tbh that's probably a sign in itself. If the sellers thought you were THE ONE for the horse they'd want you to have him. That's no judgement on you, more a comment that they'll know what he's like.

Or they feel he's worth the asking price.