Horse cant snort properley....

[jhoward]

My new neddie Ive noticed today cant do a proper snort does any one have any ideas why this may be?

he makes a slight noise on an exhaling breath this goes onces hes warmed up and was checked out when I had him vetted.
but to day ive noticed hes trying to snort but cant quiet get one out.

just to say again the noise was given the clear on the vetting. it proberely last ten minutes as he warms up, he is very unfit at the moment so im wondering if these are connected, could it be worth trying him on a supplement to open up the airways a bit more??

 

[Bryndu]

The reason your new neddie is not able to snort, is that you have not given the new neddy the correct 'snort acivating' feed.
I sell such feed, guarrenteed to make your horse snort - although there is no 'money back if it don't work' clause.
If you feed Horse Snort, within 3 days you will see a difference. I tried it on my own horse and liked the product so much I bought the company.
Horse Snort comes in a 25 kilo bag and costs £75 + £25 p&p.
I accept PayPal and your feed will be despatched on a guarrenteed 'not next day' delivery with Parcel Farce.
I look forward to your order.
Testimnonials to be found at: www.ivebeenconnedbutdontknowit.com.
Best wishes
Bryndu

 

[jhoward]

The reason your new neddie is not able to snort, is that you have not given the new neddy the correct 'snort acivating' feed.
I sell such feed, guarrenteed to make your horse snort - although there is no 'money back if it don't work' clause.
If you feed Horse Snort, within 3 days you will see a difference. I tried it on my own horse and liked the product so much I bought the company.
Horse Snort comes in a 25 kilo bag and costs £75 + £25 p&p.
I accept PayPal and your feed will be despatched on a guarrenteed 'not next day' delivery with Parcel Farce.
I look forward to your order.
Testimnonials to be found at: www.ivebeenconnedbutdontknowit.com.
Best wishes
Bryndu

TROLL

 

[Bryndu]

Thought you might like that one!!!!
Happy New Year
Bryndu

 

[Cuppatea]

The reason your new neddie is not able to snort, is that you have not given the new neddy the correct 'snort acivating' feed.
I sell such feed, guarrenteed to make your horse snort - although there is no 'money back if it don't work' clause.
If you feed Horse Snort, within 3 days you will see a difference. I tried it on my own horse and liked the product so much I bought the company.
Horse Snort comes in a 25 kilo bag and costs £75 + £25 p&p.
I accept PayPal and your feed will be despatched on a guarrenteed 'not next day' delivery with Parcel Farce.
I look forward to your order.
Testimnonials to be found at: www.ivebeenconnedbutdontknowit.com.
Best wishes
Bryndu

Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Ladyinred]

A cheaper version is to feed your horse his normal feed, but be wearing smart clothes and have an important appointment/interview straight ater.

Guaranteed snort, with optional accompanying snot.

 

[jhoward]

Dear TFC

I feel this thread should be moved to SOAPBOX as in light of my recent efforts of having a sence of humour/vegetable fetish/speedo fetish (dont pretend you dont know) nobody is going to take my equine problems seriousley. I am now going to go and start a thread in SOAPBOX about the
3rd nipple Bryndu has!

 

[Bryndu]

A cheaper version is to feed your horse his normal feed, but be wearing smart clothes and have an important appointment/interview straight ater.

Guaranteed snort, with optional accompanying snot.

I feel I must pull you up short, Ladyinred, as you are now entering the shady area of the dodgy feed issues.
Horse Snort is a branded and registered product and I feel sure if you feed your horse it's normal feed whilst in smart clothing, the accompanying snot will NOT activeate the snort.
Iyou would like to try Horse Snort at a discounted rate of £50 with free p&p delivered by the well known USA company Ooops, just send me your PayPal details and I will send it as soon as I am able.
I feel sure you will be satisfied with my superior product.
Yours
Bryndu

 

[Bryndu]

Dear TFC

I feel this thread should be moved to SOAPBOX as in light of my recent efforts of having a sence of humour/vegetable fetish/speedo fetish (dont pretend you dont know) nobody is going to take my equine problems seriousley. I am now going to go and start a thread in SOAPBOX about the
3rd nipple Bryndu has!

Jhoward,
SOAPBOX is a completely different type of product and will NOT result in any type of snort in your horse.
However, I sell this guarrenteed product for getting grey horses clean and shiney and I can let you have a trial sample at the knockdown price of £25 + £3 p&p deliverable by the well known dynamite company TNT. Please order soon to avoid the VAT increase which will come in to effect in January.
As the 3rd nipple has yet to be verified I feel we must keep that topic for another time when I have ascertained the full retail price.
Yours
Bryndu

 

[Millyard Rejects]

What a load of rollocks!
everyone who knows anything about horses knows the only true and trusted method of getting horses to snort is to -
a) put bale of haylage in field and have horses watch as you cut all wrapping off(works with idxtbs and foals)
b) 3 swans swimming on a flooded field(works with tb broodmares)
c) you change the green food bucket to a white food bucket (this works on all ponies with furry coats)

what is wrong with you people!
*flounces off *

 

[Bryndu]

What a load of rollocks!
everyone who knows anything about horses knows the only true and trusted method of getting horses to snort is to -
a) put bale of haylage in field and have horses watch as you cut all wrapping off(works with idxtbs and foals)
b) 3 swans swimming on a flooded field(works with tb broodmares)
c) you change the green food bucket to a white food bucket (this works on all ponies with furry coats)

what is wrong with you people!
*flounces off *

Once again..I have to pull up a potential customer on their lack of insight with regard to the horse snort.
a) Pulling off haylage wrap in the field is NO substitute for Horse Snort. This is a guarrenteed product and 1 scoop per day will enable an early snort result. I feel that the haylage warp may only result in a short term snort.
b) Once again, not a trusted method as swans are not always available, yet Horse Snort will be at hand in your feed shed.
c) Another short cut with a short term solution - will you never learn - Horse Snort is there for the genuine, gaurenteed result you require.
My offer of £75 + £25 p&p with Parcel Farce is still open to you with your PayPal account and I look forward to doing business with you.
Yours Bryndu

 

[Shilasdair]

I'd like to make the following snort-inducing suggestions;
1. Try changing feed to one the horse doesn't like and if it's anything like my grey, it'll snort in disgust.
2. Tell the horse off for being naughty - this will induce a long drawn out snort of exasperation.
3. Offer the horse an empty bucket, box or barrel; apparently snort-echoes are fun.
S

 

[Bryndu]

I'd like to make the following snort-inducing suggestions;
1. Try changing feed to one the horse doesn't like and if it's anything like my grey, it'll snort in disgust.
2. Tell the horse off for being naughty - this will induce a long drawn out snort of exasperation.
3. Offer the horse an empty bucket, box or barrel; apparently snort-echoes are fun.
S

...Sighs..... Yet again potential customer, you are only looking at the short term snort. These are readily available from most equines but the only guarrenteed long term snort is available only through using Horse Snort.
1. EVERY horse that undertook the trial ate Horse Snort and snorted, there is never any doubt about a horse eating my product.
2. There is never any need to shout - you may increase to 1 and a half scoops of Horse Snort if you feel the need but it will only add extra expense, but you could try the Horse Snort with 25% extra free ata cost of £100 + £20 p&p with Royal Fail.
3. There would be no need for the empty bucket trick - once again a short term solution. I scoop of Horse Snort is all that would be required.
Looking forward to your order.
yours
Bryndu

 

[Ladyinred]

Beginning to think jh might be right about the third nipple. Fetch the ducking stool!!

 

[Bryndu]

Beginning to think jh might be right about the third nipple. Fetch the ducking stool!!

Unfortunately Ladyinred, my Sleepy Hollow supplier from has let me down and I am unable at this time to offer the Ducking Stool.
Please continue to check on my website daily to re order this product at www.ivebeenconnedbutdontknowit.com
I will be able to offer you a pre VAT rate of £50 with free Par Avion delivery.
Yours
Bryndu

 

[The Xmas Furry]

I'd just like to add, that the Horse Snort feed is rubbish
The dealer for it in my area just rips you off as the stuff has never materialised & has no interest in my non-stop phone calls and emails asking for a refund or where my delivery is.

Dealers... pah!

 

[Bryndu]

I'd just like to add, that the Horse Snort feed is rubbish
The dealer for it in my area just rips you off as the stuff has never materialised & has no interest in my non-stop phone calls and emails asking for a refund or where my delivery is.

Dealers... pah!

Dear Xmas Furry,
I am sorry to hear this complaint but youse been dun luv - I am a sole distributor of Horse Snort and as my testimonials state at www.ivebeenconnedbutIdontknowit.com all my customers have been completely satisfied with my 'no money back' quibble and guarrentee.
Countless owners all over Britain are now proud owners of snorting horses.
I feel you must contact the authorites and report you greivences at www.igotdone.com
If you should wish to purchase the genuine Horse Snort product from me, I can offer a once only discount of 25kg sack for £50 with free p&p - buyer collects.
Yours
bryndu