Horse ownership and working

[Wishfilly]

Unfortunately I would not be a reliable sharer as I might have to work late if we have a work emergency or travel to see my parents if they need help so I could not promise to do a set day every week.

I was a sharer for 5 years before owning and it ended as my share horse was sold but was able to commit to that at the time as I was in a different job and I used to finish work at 3pm on Wednesday in order to get to the yard in time to catch in and weekends were always free as my parents lived in France and were younger and only saw them once a year.

I cannot commit to being a sharer as due to work I cannot turn out in the mornings and cannot get to yard in time to catch in the evenings hence why I have to be on part livery. It would have to be a grass livery or part livery arrangement with a lot of flexibility to work for me as a share. Shares advertised locally all require jobs being done or want people to hack out during the day which is not an option unless a weekend and some weekends would be out if I need to visit and help my family.

Oh, that sounds really tough, I'm sorry.

Perhaps the alternative might be buying your own, but finding a sharer to help who would also be willing to help out in an emergency situation? It wouldn't be a traditional share set up as such, but the right person might exist.

That said, when I had my pony on assisted DIY, other people on the yard would always help in an emergency- and equally I'd help out others when I could.

 

[Abacus]

Being a sharer is not impossible in some circumstances. For example, I have 3 horses - one who is old has a lovely sharer who just hacks at weekends. Otherwise I have one and my son has one, and I also keep the latter going a bit. If someone came along who wanted to ride one of them really any day or time it would be fine, if they were the right person, as it would just help me even a little each week. If they cancelled at short notice equally it would't bother me as I wouldn't rely on it.

 

[katastrophykat]

So1, if it’s not an odd question- can your job be WFH- and was it during covid? If you can manage the occasional office trip into London on public transport, there are great transport links and cheaper livery/more pony options outside of London, so it might make assisted part livery/full livery an option that it isn’t in London- up here full is £4-600, part from £250, DIY £100-£200 depending on facilities, but if there’s somewhere closer to Norfolk that might help you out, would that be an option?

 

[gallopingby]

So1 kats suggestion sounds as if it may be worth considering, a full livery in Norfolk is likely to be considerably cheaper than London, that way you could visit your parents at weekends and maybe have the possibility to make some local friends with more country interests? Also I wonder if you've every considered some form of counselling to help you make sense of things, it could help you put a different perspective on things as it sounds like you're likely to have a lot to cope with / consider over the next few years. I'm only making the suggestion as an option to consider although maybe another pony would have the same effect? Hopefully you've been able to sort out the insurance claim?

 

[Chappie]

Very sorry for your loss of Homey, SO1, a fortunate boy to have had a good owner like you by sounds of it.

I'm replying as can relate to aspects of your post - I'm middle aged and single (ie. no partner or older kids to help out!); my mother aged 72 and aunt, and also my brother and sister and other family, live hundreds of miles away; I have a demanding, long hours, deadline-driven professional job in a niche industry in decline (ie. stressed); and a colic-prone cob aged early 20s on a yard where I have limited options for help.
I wfh now and live a couple of mins walk from the yard so am fortunate that way.
In emergencies I have been able to work all hours of the night to make up time - exhuasting but I kept all the balls in the air.

I don't know what will happen in future - mum will get frailer, hopefully no time soon, and there is other family there, but they have demanding professional jobs too, I will be expected to do my bit, and I'd want to. Right now it is massively stressful even to go visit overnight, there is, at the moment, literally no-one I can get help from to do the evening stables (can't go into whys and wherefores here, and for various reasons I can't move yards).

My schedule is up back of 6, morning stables, work from 9, bring in early afternoon (45mins max) work till early evening sometimes 9pm, evening stables, bed anytime from 1030 - midnight. Weekends - visit the yard early and late, fitting household things into that; hols - go shopping sometimes, occassional days out and get things done around the home.

My own parents also lived far from their parents and relied on their near-by living siblings to help when they grew elderly.

I wonder, would it be possible to move near to where your parents will be and still work in a similar-paying level of job?
Or even a different job?
Could this be something you could investigate?

In the meantime, I totally get that you need and want to spend time with horses.
Could you advertise yourself for a share, help with a friend's animals or even volunteer at a sanctuary or riding school? Not at all the same as your own horse of course but it might be the bridge you need for now?
I see you said you couldn't in case of an emergency at work or with parents - that's the kind of thing I'd think, but you ARE entitled to a life too! Life is SO SHORT - and I don't think you are asking too much to want to keep or be involved in some way with horses.

I wouldn't rush into anything as its so soon after losing Homey. I really hope you can find something that works for you!

Also, this is a random thought! don't know if this has any appeal to you but gardening, even a few pots on a patio, is very calming for the soul and helps to reflect on things.
Even with my crazy schedule I manage to fit a bit in and its a good creative outlet I recommend.

Best wishes x

 

[SO1]

Sadly that won't work as we are back in the office two days a week and I don't have set office days so it is not the same days every week and I could get called into the office at any point for meetings.

Even though I work from home 3 days a week I had to get special permission to go and work from Norfolk for 3 days in order to look after my sister pets whilst she collects my parents from France as I could not take leave as I had to cover someone else's leave.

I did actually look at full livery yards in Norfolk a while back for possible retirement livery but there was nothing near my parents and sister. It is all DIY or rented fields as I think the incomes in the area are not high enough to support full livery yards and a lot people keep horses at home.

As a single person I don't think I could support myself and a horse on a Norfolk salary. It is mainly agricultural and retail which are minimum wage and accommodation is not that cheap either. I would probably still have same problem if there was a colic attack in terms of work commitments.

So1, if it’s not an odd question- can your job be WFH- and was it during covid? If you can manage the occasional office trip into London on public transport, there are great transport links and cheaper livery/more pony options outside of London, so it might make assisted part livery/full livery an option that it isn’t in London- up here full is £4-600, part from £250, DIY £100-£200 depending on facilities, but if there’s somewhere closer to Norfolk that might help you out, would that be an option?

 

[criso]

So1, if it’s not an odd question- can your job be WFH- and was it during covid? If you can manage the occasional office trip into London on public transport, there are great transport links and cheaper livery/more pony options outside of London, so it might make assisted part livery/full livery an option that it isn’t in London- up here full is £4-600, part from £250, DIY £100-£200 depending on facilities, but if there’s somewhere closer to Norfolk that might help you out, would that be an option?

Anywhere on a commuter run to London tends to be expensive both to live and keep horses and housing pressures means more and more yards are closing down to be built on.

Having said that, it's not always the most expensive and smartest yards that go over and above.

I'm on quite a scruffy and basic yard but both YM and person finishing off have popped home then come back to the yard late at night to check on a poorly pony so I feel secure if I can't be there, someone will be.

 

[SO1]

I have tried some counselling in the past as has my sister and it didn't work for either of us. One of the things the doctor said when I was feeling
down was spend more time outside doing the things you enjoy.

Most of my issues are around the fear of being unemployed or sick because I am on a single income without a partner or children to help me out. This is why I am so committed to work and I am really anxious about anything that could cause me to be unemployed including myself being sick with anything that requires a day off work and needing a lot more savings to feel secure.

As most of my friends got married and had kids their lives changed and they can only really meet up in frequently because they are so busy taking their kids to activities though they have really rallied round these last couple of months to make sure I am not alone at weekends they cannot do this permanently. So hence the reason the yard my pony and yard friends were so important to prevent loneliness. My parents living in another country for the last 30 years and being quite emotionally as well as physically distant as they very much had their own lives. My sister being busy with her partner and step children.

If I felt sad or lonely in the past I could see my horse whereas others people with family or friends nearer by could see them. My friends and sister are fantastic but they do have to understandably put their kids first. My parents live in another country and we don't really have any shared interests.

I also don't want to be a burden on others including YO or staff by not being able to step in in the event of a colic attack or something that requires them to go beyond their normal working hours as I know they work very hard and get tired.

I always knew it would be difficult balancing an elderly horse, work and elderly parents but I had thought my pony would live on till 30 another 10 years and as my parents needed more help he would be slowing down and then retired perhaps near my parents and 60 I would have less energy.

However at 49 I still hopefully have a good 10 years of energy left to be active and enjoy a horse.

I think the colics has really had an impact on me and made me rethink horse ownership even though there are I expect plenty of people who may be in the same position who cannot rush from work to the yard at short notice.

So1 kats suggestion sounds as if it may be worth considering, a full livery in Norfolk is likely to be considerably cheaper than London, that way you could visit your parents at weekends and maybe have the possibility to make some local friends with more country interests? Also I wonder if you've every considered some form of counselling to help you make sense of things, it could help you put a different perspective on things as it sounds like you're likely to have a lot to cope with / consider over the next few years. I'm only making the suggestion as an option to consider although maybe another pony would have the same effect? Hopefully you've been able to sort out the insurance claim?

 

[Winters100]

Being a sharer is not impossible in some circumstances. For example, I have 3 horses - one who is old has a lovely sharer who just hacks at weekends. Otherwise I have one and my son has one, and I also keep the latter going a bit. If someone came along who wanted to ride one of them really any day or time it would be fine, if they were the right person, as it would just help me even a little each week. If they cancelled at short notice equally it would't bother me as I wouldn't rely on it.

I have a similar situation. I have a lovely couple who come and ride 2 of mine, usually 2 to 3 times a week. I don't rely on it, I do not charge anything, and I don't need them to do chores, but it does help me out with freeing up a bit of time. One of the ones that they ride is my good-doer, I am sure that there must be loads of owners in the UK who also have good doers and would welcome them moving a little more when the sharer is available.

 

[maya2008]

In terms of rushing to the yard - when I was employed, I didn’t miss a day for the horses in over a decade. As a young adult, if there was a problem, I could pay the yard (DIY with services) to wait for vet etc. Anything veterinary that required hours of monitoring beyond yard hours then it was cheaper and easier to drop horse off at the vets and pay their livery than have them come out anyway. Best place to be if there might be issues, and they obviously have staff checking all night long. I also had younger horses so minimised the chances of vet issues.

Now, I would pop a camera in the stable and keep an eye from home/work unless serious enough to need to be at the vet hospital. Our vets are great and arrange visits when I can be there around work. Even when I worked full time I could always pay more and whoever was on call-out would come after hours and do it. I’ve managed various longer illnesses, injuries (always discovered after dark, after hours in the winter!) etc alongside work without having to take time off.

I think you will be fine. It’s normal to work and have horses, and there are options out there to make sure you don’t have to miss work to care for your horse.

 

[Annagain]

There is nothing in your circumstances that makes me think "this person doesn't have time for a horse"

I know you had a rough ride with Homey over the last couple of months of his life and I understand your reticence but I think you need to put it into perspective a little. Colic is relatively rare and Homey's condition even more rare. You would be extremely unlucky to have another horse who suffers repeat colics in the way he did. That experience shouldn't be a reason not to have another horse.

Work were flexible with you because you're obviously a trusted and valued member of staff - especially as you have no day to day family commitments that mean you can work late at short notice and travel when necessary. You're not about to be fired because you had some emergency leave and might need some more at some point in the future. Even if you need it again, there have been months in between where you've been working as normal so they know you're not taking advantage.

What does part livery mean at your yard? (it can mean so many different things to different people it's hard to assess). Assuming it's not 5 day livery (and even if it is, I imagine services will be available at extra cost) one weekend a month visiting your parents is not going to be a problem. A new horse would be cared for and if you're riding in the week, it's no more than two or three days off for the horse.

I know you said you wouldn't make a good sharer due to the nature of your work but you could think about getting a sharer for a horse you buy. That way, you have control and know the horse is cared for if you can't get there but if a sharer did a day or two a week (maybe when you play cards or do your course?) they might also like a 1 weekend in 4 arrangement in addition to that? That way they could plan around their life too.

As you said, you already have a decent amount of leave so the routine stuff like farrier's appointments or jabs can be planned in advance and accommodated.

The other possibility, depending on how flexible your employer is and the nature of your work, is to ask to do your full hours in 4 days rather than 5? That way, they know they have cover later into the evening so you wouldn't have to work late at short notice and you'd have time to visit your family and have some horsey time at weekends as well?