Horses are better than partners because...

annagain said:
The don't giggle like a 13 year old boy when they fart....or waft the duvet to make sure you can smell it.
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But they do hold it in until you're picking out their back feet, or plaiting their tail... Or, when out and about, until you're passing a very large, very clean family in spotless wellies all out for a country walk. At least one family member will be wearing white trousers. Someone else will have the sort of flimsy cardigan and bead necklace you've never seen outside a magazine. There will be up to three pushchairs, without a speck of muck on them. There will be comments as you pass about what a lovely horsey, isn't he pretty? Come children, look at the nice horsey... at which point Dobbin will let rip with the most heinous, orchestral bout of farting, rivalling the most exciting classical score for range of pitch and tone, and blowing the lengthiest opera out of the water in duration. And you sit there, head held high (nose elevated for safety), eyes fixed on a point in the middle distance (wishing you were there), trying to pretend you haven't heard a thing and can't see the row of horrified faces lining the bridlepath for what seems like miles. Dobbin marches on, delighted with his performance and its stunned reception, with a few parting blasts for good measure.

On the other hand, horses, unlike partners, can make a speedy getaway from a social faux pas!
 
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