Horses at home, kids, husbands, housework, jobs.....

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Ilovefoals

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How do you fit it all in???

I'm finding myself getting increasingly stressed as there are just not enough hours in the day!

I have 2 mares and foals and a section A gelding. The wee guy is sold and will be going next weekend so he's not really a worry. I am going to wean the foals today so I'm gonna have 3 stables to muck out, (the 2 foals will share).

I also have a 4yr old daughter, a husband who works away mon to fri and a very old house which needs a lot of maintainence! I work 2 12hr night shifts usually on a fri and sat night as hubby is home at weekends and I'm beginning to feel it's all becoming a slog!

So what do you guys do? Do you sacrifice a clean house, tidy stables, what? Or do you have everything done but feel stressed out?

I'd love to know your secrets!!!
 
I have a very similar situation, except husband now around on Mon & Fri working from home, but have 3 sons & 3 horses.

Personally, I've sacrificed the housework, but i don't really enjoy living in a cobwebby tip!
I'm sure the chaps don't either, but I can't fit it all in & I don't even work! I also realise I shouldn't spend so much time on HHO.

I do appreciate my situation though & remind myself that it was my decision to move back to the country & have the horses at home. It's been all of my making so can't complain really.

Must make a start on last night's washing up....
 
All that sounds exhausting, but honestly the most tiring part sounds like the night shifts!! No wonder you feel stressed out! Is it not possible to work daytime instead, seriously with everything else you have to do I would really think again about nightshifts. But thats just my opinion, I know myself, personally would not be able to do the night shifts and everything else on top. Good luck!
 
I have 2 kids....aged 8 and 12, 3 horses about 200m from home on our private yard. I work 9-5 mon to fri and OH works shifts. Our house is in a permanent state of renovation too:o

I'm just in a routine I guess. I do the horses before work, make up haynets etc the night before. OH is very good at cooking meals etc whilst I see to the horses on an evening. If he's working late the kids go to grans and have tea there after school, and we sort the horses out after I get in from work.

My kids are older so it is easier.....

I do find myself cleaning the bathroom at 10pm sometimes though. I wouldnt change it....I'd be bored rigid. But significanty wealthier:eek:
 
Ilovefoals said:
How do you fit it all in???

I'm finding myself getting increasingly stressed as there are just not enough hours in the day!

I have 2 mares and foals and a section A gelding. The wee guy is sold and will be going next weekend so he's not really a worry. I am going to wean the foals today so I'm gonna have 3 stables to muck out, (the 2 foals will share).

I also have a 4yr old daughter, a husband who works away mon to fri and a very old house which needs a lot of maintainence! I work 2 12hr night shifts usually on a fri and sat night as hubby is home at weekends and I'm beginning to feel it's all becoming a slog!

So what do you guys do? Do you sacrifice a clean house, tidy stables, what? Or do you have everything done but feel stressed out?



I'd love to know your secrets!!!
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Hi Stressed out,
Deep litter the horses so you just have to skip out, saves time and money, (20 mins tops to skip out, hay and water 3 ponies) and who says you have to have an immaculate yard or house? Do you have inspectors around? Your horses won't care if the yard is tidy or not and I personally find a tidyish house will do. You are clearly not riding at the moment so don't even consider grooming when they come in from the field, just do their feet. If you give up the too tidy thing you can spend more time with your little girl. O and stop feeling guilty...we have all been there but since I decided no one will die if I don't sweep the yard or hoover the living room to within an inch of thier lives, life is MUCH more relaxed.
Good luck and chill.
Bryndu
 
There always has to be one doesnt there....but I can beat that!!!!!!

Have 9 ponies all in work,very old farmhouse in very wet wet windy soon to be snowy no doubt, Scotland. 2 young daughters,2 dogs and just one husband who worse than working away has an office here at home and is only out a couple of days(if we are lucky) a week.

All the above live to eat and make loads of mess. They lose things and break things and expect me to keep them organised and pick up the pieces. It is chaos but my advice is to keep calm!!!!!!!

There is only so much you can do in a day. Choose a project for the day and leave the rest. Today is my housework day because the children are at school and husband out. With just that to do it suddenly seems less stressful. Dont go and check wether children have mucked out as if its not up to standard it will stress me~~~~not my dept today as I am on housework. In fact I have until 4pm to run thru the house and clean and it will probably take me no more than an hour and a half so looks like theres time for a coffee and little rest!!!!!

Stress is hard work~~~chill out!!!!!!!
 
You guys have made me feel more positive already! Unfortunately, I can only really work nights as I get paid the same for 2 night shifts as I would for working 4 days!!! And these horses and child do take up a lot of money! I'm thinking it'll probably get easier once my daughter goes to school after summer next year as at the mo, nursery is only 2.5hrs in the morning. I use that time to get the mucking out done and usually rush to pick her up at the last minute smelling like a stable!

I'm lucky that my hubby will muck out for me at the weekends so I get slept but I have to turn out and bring in as the foals just take the mick out of him and he gets in a flap. He tries to help though which I appreciate.

I just seem to feel permenently guilty. Either for the horses having messy beds, the house being a state or not spending enough time with my little girl!



Whose idea was this country living anyway?? Oh yeah - mine!!! LOL!


ponypops - where do you live? I'm just dying for the snow to arrive too! Last year we have 19" on the road. Oh the joys!!!
 
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I find doing larger batches of things - be it hay nets, or meals you can freeze for another day.

Also delegate, at 4 your daughter probably likes to be helpful (by 11 probably not!) and should be able to hoover the visible bits relatively easily with a simple hoover like a Henry (worth investing in, they're light and easy enough for a small child to handle up and down the hall and round the lounge). Means it looks OKish for longer.
 
Erm spend less time on H&H forum ? I am only joking it breaks they day up but I know I would get a hell of a lot more done if I wasn't browsing all the time !

Will your foals not winter out ?
 
I have five ponies, 4 children (one severely disabled) and my hubby. I used to also work five days a week at a livery yard but have had to quit this summer due to ill health and my sons impending spinal surgery.

I have no idea how I did it with a job let alone now I have all day to myself! All Five of mine live out now but when I was working they were all in at night so I would be up there at 5am before the kids went to school. They are all teenagers now but it was always the same.

I think we just somehow manage to fit it all in. When I had two kids I also had my own DIY livery and dealing yard with my sister. We had 4 liveries and 9 horses of our own plus ponies coming and going all of the time...I can't even imagine how I managed to do that one lol
 
I know exactly how you feel, I have 1 mare and foal, and 1 NF youngster and a shettie. Mare and filly are in a field which is a 2/3 min walk and the boys live about a 10/15 min walk away. I have a hubby who does not know where the sink is and a son of 23 who leaves a trail of washing as he walks. Then there are my 4 P/T jobs which when I add the hours up is 37 hrs per week, I chose to have p/t jobs so that I work around the horses as 3 of them are very early and 1 is late pm, this way I get to see them in the daylight.
Housework is done as and when I get the time lol, all the horses live out 24/7 so no stables do muck out just the poo picking of paddocks which I must admit would take longer than doing stables. No matter how untidy the house gets I do have the cleanest feed room and the stable is always ready to be used, and is cobweb free. I seem to get more satifaction keeping those tidy than I do my house.
However something as got to give and unfortunately it is the NF which is currently for sale, as I would ideally like to lose 1 job next spring when my mare comes back into work once the foal is weaned. Problem is I am being quite fussy where the pony goes I proberly will end up keeping him, but I just dont have time to ride two. And since he is a baby he just needs more time than I can offer, I also would need to keep the fourth job to keep all 4 horses so would have even less time. Horses + families + jobs is very hard work. You have my sympathies.
 
matting. its alife saver.

my horse takes less than 10 minutes to muck out - i just take out the middle.

waters can be filling up while i do haynets (or just chuck the nights hay on the floor - i do!)

i do feeds/waters/muck out/bed down/chuck out/rug changes etc i less than 30 mins for one horse....

i do uni/work/sort a house/dog etc (no kids - yet!) my life isnt as hectic as yours but theres no way i could have the horse if i wasny super organised.
 
Dubsie said:
I find doing larger batches of things - be it hay nets, or meals you can freeze for another day.

Also delegate, at 4 your daughter probably likes to be helpful (by 11 probably not!) and should be able to hoover the visible bits relatively easily with a simple hoover like a Henry (worth investing in, they're light and easy enough for a small child to handle up and down the hall and round the lounge). Means it looks OKish for longer.
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You are right! She is very helpful at the mo so maybe the hoover thing is a good idea. I'm also gonna start cooking a lot more and freezing healthier things as at the mo, I'm so knackered that we end up eating ready meals every night!
 
Oh forgot to say ~~~never feel guilty!!!!!

We live in wonderful rainy Ayrshire. We chose to come here and live with the mud and rain. Always getting power cuts and dodgy broadband. In fact dodgy everything here~~~our house was built around 1700 so not many mod cons. Had 6 weeks deep snow last winter~~~couldnt move!!!

Our girls have a wonderful healthy lifestyle with ponies and rabbits and the rest. Just remember how lucky we are and chill!!!!!!!

We too are looking forward to the snow except last year it meant husband couldnt get car up drive so was here 24/7 whining how cold and hungry he was!!!!!!!!
 
Ladylina83 said:
Erm spend less time on H&H forum ? I am only joking it breaks they day up but I know I would get a hell of a lot more done if I wasn't browsing all the time !

Will your foals not winter out ?
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You are right! I would get a lot more done!

I was considering wintering them all out but we are in such an exposed spot with no natural shelter and the weather gets mega bad. I bought a field shelter last year for that purpose but it blew away with a month of being put up! It was a 20' x 10' steel framed building, anchored into the ground. So you can imagine the wind we get!
 
You are not alone.!!
I have 4 kids (5-14), 3 dogs, 2 cats, a pony on DIY near the house, a working (but not domestically trained in any way shape or form) Husband and a house/garden to keep. I also work from home as a commissioning artist, and am constantly doing favours for friends and family (usually animal related) because they think I must have the time! :o
I ride every day at 9am and fit in all the artwork and housework the rest of the day while the kids are in school, though OH comes in for lunch too and expects sarnies made etc .....
I also have to do teatime pony duties at the same time as feeding 6 of us, and the pets, and running the kids to clubs etc. By the time I have sorted the school stuff out and baths in the evening its time for bed as I have to be up at 6.30 to turn out. Phew. I need to get harsh and delegate more, and that would be my biggest tip. I am not a stressy person (thank goodness) but I do get frustrated at my family watching me go round like a whirlwind while they watch TV !!
 
ponypops said:
Oh forgot to say ~~~never feel guilty!!!!!

We live in wonderful rainy Ayrshire. We chose to come here and live with the mud and rain. Always getting power cuts and dodgy broadband. In fact dodgy everything here~~~our house was built around 1700 so not many mod cons. Had 6 weeks deep snow last winter~~~couldnt move!!!

Our girls have a wonderful healthy lifestyle with ponies and rabbits and the rest. Just remember how lucky we are and chill!!!!!!!

We too are looking forward to the snow except last year it meant husband couldnt get car up drive so was here 24/7 whining how cold and hungry he was!!!!!!!!
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Yeah, don't get me wrong - I do love it really. I'm just finding it all a bit of a juggling act right now. I'm not naturally a chilled person so I guess I'd better learn!

My hubby got stuck on the western isles with his job last winter 'cos the ferries weren't running. Que me having a flippin nightmare 2 weeks of snow and ice alone! The only sensible thing I thought to do this year was to save all my hols up and take them thru winter to give me plenty of time off work when the weather is at it's pooest!

Some of you guys sound like you've got it harder than me so you have my full admiration!
 
Try looking at this website..... http://www.flylady.net/

Registration is free so no costs involved unless you buy any of the products. I certainly don't follow it all, but there are some useful tips on here and it really is amazing what you can do in 15 minutes. It sounds really silly, but the kitchen sink thing really works - even if I'm knackered when I am going to bed, I give it a quick wipe round and things feel better when I get up in the morning. It also makes me feel less guilty, which has got to be good! x

ETA I have never mentioned to my husband that I use the site, but he has noticed that the house is looking tidier even since the horses came out of full livery to live at home (he was a bit worried that it would go the other way!!).
 
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Ilovefoals said:
You are right! She is very helpful at the mo so maybe the hoover thing is a good idea. I'm also gonna start cooking a lot more and freezing healthier things as at the mo, I'm so knackered that we end up eating ready meals every night!
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Thats the spirit~~~get the 4 year old working!!!!!!!! Mine were out there mucking in and out since tiny toddlers. What a nightmare~~~brings it all back.In particular daughter no1 "resting gently" face down in the mud when her wellies sunk!!!! The other one who managed to get the hoofpick wedged in her mouth~~yes all of it!!!! always has been a good feeder! Benefits however they are now 11 and 13 and can run the yard by themselves albeit with bad attitudes!!!!!
 
Hahahahaha ponypops! That made me laugh. Thanks!

Away to collect the wee angel from nursery now. Hmmm, what child labour can I get her to undertake when I get home??? Maybe too young to make the lunch!
 
Ilovefoals said:
You are right! She is very helpful at the mo so maybe the hoover thing is a good idea. I'm also gonna start cooking a lot more and freezing healthier things as at the mo, I'm so knackered that we end up eating ready meals every night!
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HA don't get me started on Ready Meals!

OH suggested, when our kitchen was apart having new Rayburn fitted, that it'd be nice for a change to have ready meals, as this would save me time/hassle.

I discovered Ready meals are NOT time saving. Firstly they are not a complete meal, you need to add some veg otherwise it's not filling enough for a man or a fast growing 11 year old (almost 5ft 3 already!), so if you have the stove on to do that you might as well make spag bol and broccoli!(chop 1 onion, fry with mince, add oregano + basil + tin of tomatoes, meanwhile do the pasta in another pan, broccoli in 3rd, serve with a little grated cheese....make double or treble and freeze the remainder for another day. Takes only 10-12 minutes.
Secondly, by the time you've faffed with the microwave / oven cooking 3 ready meals, you could have cooked something else. Or spent the time cooking that evening by 5 minutes slinging it all chopped up into your (large is essential so you can cook double to freeze) slow cooker in the morning on low eg quickly fry diced chicken in large pan, add 2-3 cloves chopped garlic, mushrooms, couple of glasses of wine*, and the ever useful 'ready meal' ingredient - that tin of chopped tomatoes, bring to boil put in slow cooker on low and leave on while you're out at work and pop some jacket pots in the microwave as soon as you come in the door (I leave microwave set up so just have to press the 'Start') to go with it.

* rest of bottle recorked in fridge for later
We lasted 2 days on Ready meals. Never again!
 
Not too young to make a sandwich so long as your butter is soft enough (take out of fridge before you collect!), and you use ready sliced ham or cheese or something spreadable. Takes them ages but they love doing it. Then they can cut a shape out with a large biscuit cutter, we did gingerbread men ones (she ate the man and I ate the crusts). Is a good way to introduce foods, if they've made it they're more likely to eat it.

You can also start teaching them about sharp knives and how to cut things up with a bluntish one and mushrooms, progress to cucumber. Grated cheese is another good 'un, get the sort with a holder that protects the fingers and grates into a box (less messy)

Bread making is also good fun, or biscuit making too.
 
artysteph said:
You are not alone.!!
I have 4 kids (5-14), .....

.....I also have to do teatime pony duties at the same time as feeding 6 of us, and the pets, and running the kids to clubs etc. By the time I have sorted the school stuff out and baths in the evening its time for bed as I have to be up at 6.30 to turn out. Phew. I need to get harsh and delegate more, and that would be my biggest tip. I am not a stressy person (thank goodness) but I do get frustrated at my family watching me go round like a whirlwind while they watch TV !!
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Give your kids the responsibility for school work & getting their school bag ready with correct kit for the next day & getting PE kit washed (if not in laundry basket = not washed. Let them get into bother if not done: nagging only gets you stressed.
 
Housework - De-clutter, and by that I mean, get rid of all them ornaments you have on display, just keep a few chosen ones out, and pack the rest away in boxes. ANYTHING that is dust-catching can go! Believe me, your time on housework will go down!

One-pot meals - I do home-made curries, stews, joints etc. etc. in the slow cooker a few times a week! Get up early, bung the kettle on, bung the already chopped veg (Tesco and big supermarkets do those already done ones) in the slow cooker, then the meat then the boiling water. Turn on and there ya go! Dinner cooking! Saves me oodles of time.

Set days for certain jobs. Tonight is clean the bathroom night. UGH! Gotta be done though!
 
Dubsie said:
Give your kids the responsibility for school work & getting their school bag ready with correct kit for the next day & getting PE kit washed (if not in laundry basket = not washed. Let them get into bother if not done: nagging only gets you stressed.
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he he A great idea, only I still follow them around to check... Im such a control freak! Plus theres the constant...'Muuuummmm where is my...can I have.....I need to take....' I get so cheesed of with it its easier to organise it myself (easier on my spoilt little ones anyway LOL)
 
A slow cooker is absolutely the way forward.

Buy a good big one, with a pot that can go in the oven (for meals that need the top browning or whatever).

Chuck everything in, turn it on and five hours later you have a yummy meal bubbling away. Oh and forget pre-frying/browning stuff, it is normally fine if you just chuck it all in.

I make bolognaise, chilli, curry and various stews and soups in mine. And if you make a big portion you can freeze some for another day. The smell is great too. :)
 
From the otherside of the coin I worked as an au pair. For £100 pounds and accomidation a week you can have everything done, housework, horses done, children picked up and fed fresh meals everyday! (this is alot easier in the holidays when students are off and I believe alot cheaper than childcare)

but for the less rich :D my mum has a lady that twice a week cleans the house and tidies the garden three hours a time. £36 a week and means mum never has to have a quick hoover now and then. Same with ironing often quite cheap to get it collected and returned flat.
 
I have got the horses at home, 3 children, 3 dogs. I find it best to have a routine. I get the horses in before I go to school. Walk the dogs after school drop off. Back by 9.30. Ride, muck etc then and back in the house by 12.30 for lunch then spend the rest of the afternoon doing stuff in the house. Pick the children up at four thirty. I seem to fit it all in but thinking about probably don't sit down until we have supper in the evening! Have two lovely friends who keep their horses here too so share turning out etc. Another time-saving tip is to do your food shopping online saves a lot of time. This post is making me feel better as always feel guilty about my husband having to to go work everyday but actually I fit in a lot too!
 
I sympathise and it all seems worse in the winter with little daylight. Stratagies for coping include online food shopping which is delivered to the house and prioritising the household chores. Clean clothes,good easy made food eg casseroles, (make a double batch and freeze half) clean bed. Clear the clutter, be ruthless about this,dont try to do it all at once ,just a few minutes a day. deal with the post as soon as it arrives,ie chuck the junk mail ,open the rest. have 1 day a week for sorting paperwork,checking bank statements etc. I put all letters and such into a wicker basket then every wednesday deal with it, file it,answer letters,pay bills,whatever. saves loads of time and gets it done. ditto housework a quick weekly clearound. 1.change beds,donot bother ironing bedding, infact only iron what needsironing , 2. mop 3, vac4 paperwork 5 dust 6 clean bathroom. do one a day, sundays off.
re the stable yard, always muck out and have a good deep bed, its easier in the long run.
engage as many people as possible to help, husband can put the washing in the machine,load the dishwasher etc, yes they can! do at least 1 washing load a day. its a matter of routine routine routine, before long it all just happens without thinking about it.
and the light will come back in the spring and it'll all be easier.
if you are seriously struggling then please go to your doctor as i could be because of a medical condition like underactive thyroid [ I have this] or something like that.
 
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