Horsey fiction. If this was the blurb on the back of a book would you buy it?

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LittleTero

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Hi guys so basically I like to write woman's fiction. In my opinion there are simply not enough horse related romances on the bookshelves so now I've read every Jilly Cooper or Fiona Walker available to me I have to write my own.

This is a rough idea of what the blurb of my second book would look like. Would this make you want to read it? (Do you think it's worth me trying to get it published) If so or if not please post, all opinions welcome good or bad!

Blurb

Ofilia only knew one thing in life, not who she wanted to be, what she wanted to do or how far she wanted to go. She wanted Theo. Prepared to follow him through his entire life if she had to. Through his eventing wins and falls, his girlfriends, his yards, his homes, just to be with him. But Theo doesn't want Ofilia, and pretty soon she is going to have to cut her loses. So when Lucas Fielding offers her a job on his eventing yard, Ofilia has to decide. Is it sometimes worth hurting yourself to help yourself?
 
yes it derives from ophela and means 'in need of help' i picked it simply because of its meaning but it's very good to know if its not reader friendly, will definitely have to give it a good rethink!!
 
This seriously isn't my kind of fiction and yes, agree the name is awful.

The trick to drawing in the reader is to encourage them to identify with the main character and Ofilia sounds a bit like a bunny boiler nut job..i think you need to tone down her total dependence on Theo or at least describe him as somebody who has driven all her life choices to date
 
Hmm yeh i supposse the way ive written the blurb does sound a bit like that :s i dashed it off in five seconds on a whim lol. They have actually been friends for years and live together but he doesnt know how she feels so yes...suppose the blurb doesnt do a good job of describing that! Thank you...another thing to rethink! I should have posted this sooner its very helpful and eye opening!
 
Its a bit long winded and to be honest I lost interest quite quickly - perhaps shorten it to make it more intriguing and therefore more interesting?
 
And yes your main character should be called something soft and likeable, Ofilia just screams private school girl spoilt little rich girl lol
 
Also, no offence but there are problems with your grammar, spelling and punctuation. The first sentence simply doesn't make sense if that is meant to tie in with the second sentence. Why don't you think about doing a writing course first? Half the challenge is having the imagination to think of the plots and characters and you seem confident about that, but you also need some technical know-how as well.

It sounds as if the book is about a groom with a crush on her employer? Agree with everyone that the name Ofilia is just awful. Either call her Ophelia, or change the name.
 
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They've been living together for years:eek:

Does he, by any chance, have a passion for interior design and a huge collection of Judy Garland records?
 
Punctuation is my very bad point. I struggle with it because when ive written something i tend to add punctuation thats not there when i read it back by accident. I kind of hoped there were people who helped you sort that stuff out if they liked the content? Name punctuation etc aside would the idea be sellable or should i just leave it as something i wrote for my own pleasure? I did enjoy every minute of writing it and i suppose thats the important bit. I didn't do it to make money, just wondered if it may be worth having a punt on?
 
Maybe instead of trying to sell it straight away you could upload it onto a site like obooko.com or wattpad.com, that way you could get some feedback on what readers think of the book as a whole, rather than just the blurb?

:)

All the best with it though!
 
I would not buy the books, but only because it is not a genre I read. Ofilia, well I had a friend called Ophelia at school and she was lovely so it has pleasant connotations for me. However the main chat up line from boys was rude remarks about feeling things, so?
FDC
 
Agree with the name, in ad much as some might struggle to pronounce it, I know I did until I knew how Hermione was ment to sound.

Maybe Faith or some similar name that has a similar meaning.

Also please do not make it too horsey, you have to appeal to everyone.

Good luck
 
And that made no sense on my part, I mean Hermione in the jilly cooper books :)

Have read Jenny pitmans books, and I find them too horsey, and the human relationships are almost to fill in the gaps, which does not hold my imagination.

I like the mix of horse, people and may I say sex, in the cooper books.

Again, good luck x
 
The market is insanely tough just now – combination of the financial crisis and the switch to eBooks – so you have to have all your ducks in a row :) The writing has to be as good as the plot and spot on, especially if you are a first-time author and no one knows your form. Definitely worth having some tutoring in the real nuts and bolts of creative writing.

These days agents and publishers will only consider novels if they've been completed. With commercial fiction, they'll also be looking for authors who have the next book ready to write too – lots of ideas up your sleeves!
 
This is the second book. The first i finished ages ago and the third ive started and ive got the fourth in mind. Its a hobby thats been going on for a long time lol! Not to mention endless poems childrens books, life style and romance articles etc etc. If i have too many thoughts in my head i write them into something. I find it very relaxing and its my way to destress. I recomend it when people find they have too many meaningless things floating around, its like mind clearing!
 
In regards to publishing online and copyright, you could be in luck. There's something called a Creative Commons Licence, I'm afraid I don't know that much about them but from what I've read it offers the author copyright protection which I believe to be free, I could be wrong on that though! I think this link should have the information you need.
http://creativecommons.org/about

:)
 
Good :) The best thing to do is to go back and polish and polish and polish the books (at which point you go through all kinds of existential torture and artisitc despair on a weekly basis ;) ). And then eventually it's done! :p

Oh, and I don't think copyright costs anything. I certainly haven't paid for mine!
 
Not for me I am affraid!! Might appeal to teenagers, I dont know though, I cant stand the Jilly Cooper books either. I like Jenny Pitman but find her books just dreadful aswell.
 
You say this is your 3rd book, have the other been published?

I would be willing to read it and give you a cc on it, as am avid reader I am taken in the first few chapters, after that if it is no good I will out it down.

As good example in memoirs of a geisha, I found the first chaper hard going, once I had got past that I could not put it down.

To me the seal of success is when I get to the end of a book, I am sad it had ended, and I want more x
 
Daisy i would love for you to read it but i need to do a bit of joining up of it first to get it to run smoothly. This is the second book, the first i think its quite boring so im not going to bother with it!! Ill get to work on sorting the second then i can message it to you in a couple of weeks?
 
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