How are you?

[SWE]

So, in light of recent events, I have seen SO much negativity online and lots of personal attacks via social media etc. I think as long as everyone is trying their absolute best to follow government advice then aside from that we should all be a bit less judgemental of people's decisions.

So I want to open up a 'safe' place for everyone to vent. Let it all out. Tell us are you OK? What are you struggling with? How's it affected you?

Please remember to be kind to each other.

I'll start. CV hits and the yard where my horse is on assisted livery (I am the 'main carer') has gone into total lock down. I am missing my girl SO much, as someone who has always been really strong minded and not struggled with mental health before, it's really getting me down. I've not had any updates apart from 1 where I had to specifically ask if she was OK, and I'm out of my mind worrying that her slightly special needs are being met. I feel like a right pain in the ass but all I want is a daily pic/"she's fine" to put my mind at rest.

I'm working from home at the moment, so as someone who usually works full time, does the horse and goes to the gym, it's a massive shock to the system. I find out later this week if I will be kept in work, I don't know if I'm being charged for full livery yet and really panicking about it as I couldn't even afford it on full wage.

Really not that bad compared to a lot of people's situations, but for me, I'm desperately missing the horse, and it's taking its toll.

How's everyone else doing?

 

[Trinket12]

We’re not in full lockdown, but working from home and that’s it.

I’ve had horses in my life for the last 4 years and it’s been a massive help with my depression and anxiety and now I don’t have that outlet, which has been very hard.

My life is usually very busy, work full time, riding and I volunteer as a therapeutic riding instructor weekly. Now I’m just home.

I recognize I’m lucky, both me and my husband can do our jobs from home, so financially aren’t affected. My horse is already on full board, so no change for me there.

I’m doing my best to be active, both physically and mentally ( reading more, staying away from social media). But it’s hard, especially when there doesn’t seem to be an end point, and everyone is dealing with this. I try to be positive as my husband is dealing with this as well and doesn’t need me going on about it as well.

I know that this will end eventually and life will go back to normal. So at the moment I am quite literally taking it a day at a time, and only planning what I’m going to do on the day.

Being kind to myself and others.

 

[fredflop]

In some ways it’s quite nice to not have to rush around, going to work, and then doing all the things that work expect on top of that.

it’s hard work when it’s nice weather thinking I could just go for a nice ride now. (In practise I can’t atm, it’s just the thought that’s tempting!)

I would quite like to be able to go and brush my horse!

 

[Equi]

Tense, anxious, scared but also enjoying the relative guilt free lazy times because I no longer have to think up excuses not to go out and sitting in your pjs at 2pm is perfectly acceptable! I’m still out at work but it’s a small closed area with only one staff at a time so the only risk is from short handover and objects. I’m enjoying the fact we have made a spread sheet of “ocd cleaning” that really gets my ticker going in the morning! I can get quite fanatical about the cleaning regiment but I’ve had to learn to say ok it’s cleaned now stop because I almost had a panic attack last week before my isolation because nothing felt clean.

im happy as punch my yard is still open and has a similar regimented hygiene schedule but I’m dithering on the riding side of things. I haven’t since before my isolation but I’m worried the lack of targeted work will set my horse back a lot and he has a lot of issues that need worked on so I may need to get back on next week but for now we’re working on inhand stuff that I had been using along side my riding regime. And lots more stretches and massages which will benefit him during his furlough.

 

[SWE]

We’re not in full lockdown, but working from home and that’s it.

I’ve had horses in my life for the last 4 years and it’s been a massive help with my depression and anxiety and now I don’t have that outlet, which has been very hard.

My life is usually very busy, work full time, riding and I volunteer as a therapeutic riding instructor weekly. Now I’m just home.

I recognize I’m lucky, both me and my husband can do our jobs from home, so financially aren’t affected. My horse is already on full board, so no change for me there.

I’m doing my best to be active, both physically and mentally ( reading more, staying away from social media). But it’s hard, especially when there doesn’t seem to be an end point, and everyone is dealing with this. I try to be positive as my husband is dealing with this as well and doesn’t need me going on about it as well.

I know that this will end eventually and life will go back to normal. So at the moment I am quite literally taking it a day at a time, and only planning what I’m going to do on the day.

Being kind to myself and others.

Love your outlook.

I think that's partly what I'm struggling with too, is what to fill my time with. It's made me realise how I have nothing else in my life!!

I've watched everything on Horse and Country, I don't really read, I've tidied the house and then I do end up spending too much time on social media.

A book is a good idea, I'll get searching. Haven't read anything in years so let's hope I remember how ;-)

 

[Trinket12]

I’ve also been watching training videos on YouTube, I’m a visual learner so it’s been helpful. Though I then get frustrated that I can’t go and practice what I have learnt! Bit of a catch 22 ?

 

[SWE]

I’ve also been watching training videos on YouTube, I’m a visual learner so it’s been helpful. Though I then get frustrated that I can’t go and practice what I have learnt! Bit of a catch 22 ?

Snap ? the D&H masterclasses are awesome!

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

Struggling a bit here but that's due to other things going on in my head not related to lockdown etc. Also missing my younger horse who has gone off to be started...he's only half an hour away but I've not seen him in 3 weeks and don't know when I will
Luckily the Cob and Shitland are only down the road from my house so I can see them.
I think, like everyone else, that all of the uncertainty is stressing me out.

 

[GTRJazz]

We moved out of Essex to a quite area of linconshire a few months ago after I lost my contractor job with Ford. Horses now at the end of the garden and miles of country side around , off now on full pay keeping busy putting up fencing. The other half works for NHS nights and does the shopping old people in the village during the day . I feel I should be helping some how not sitting at home while people younger than me try to look after the sick. Will not ride at the moment as a mark of respect to those that have lost love ones.

 

[Chippers1]

This is the third week of working from home and the yard being on a mostly full lockdown. I live on my own and to be honest i'm finding it a struggle. I can go for days without seeing another person and as a not particularly people person anyway i'm actually really missing that interaction. Video calls aren't quite the same! I can walk down to the field and see Buzz so at least that's something

 

[CMcC]

Have had a stressful first week in lockdown.
my mum died on day 1. She didn’t live in UK so can’t go to funeral whenever that is as we are waiting for post mortem. It was unexpected when I got message from my sister “ring me NOW”, I thought she was ringing about my dad (parents are divorced) who is 87 and has cancer and I am worrying about. Can’t even get together with my sister.

Trying to sell my house - it went on the market first day of “social distancing” have had an offer but low so trying to negotiate price up.
I live alone so days when I don’t see anyone, although friends have been really good messaging and phoning for a chat.

on the plus side ponies are at home so normal routine there, dogs and I get out for a good hour or two walk and are route is pretty deserted. My yoga class has gone online so doing two yoga sessions a week. Am being much better about using up food and not chucking stuff out, made a tasty veg curry the other night with a rather sad looking leek and other bits lurking at the bottom of the fridge.

 

[Winters100]

I am really sorry to hear this CMcC. Sounds like you are being very brave in a very difficult time.

 

[Pippity]

I'm so sorry for your loss, CMcC. I can't imagine how painful that is.

I work from home most of the time anyway, so there's no change there. In some ways, I think people who don't regularly wfh at least have a bit of novelty value to keep them occupied. My only novelty work-wise is that I'm stuck in this country, rather than my usual travel. At the moment, I still have work to do but I'm reliant on other people being able to move around to install telephone lines, etc. Once I've completed the lines that are currently installed, I suspect my client will suspend my contract. I have enough savings that I don't need to worry about day-to-day living, but they were meant to finance my emigration later this year. (Although that's unlikely to go ahead, now.)

I don't have a garden, and live in the town centre, so even my daily exercise is just concrete and grey.

My yard is on lockdown, so I'm really missing my horse. I was supposed to be bringing her back into work now, after a winter off with various niggling issues one after another, but obviously that's out the window. Thankfully I do get to see her once a week. We have a rota where one person at a time is allowed in the fields, on condition of rigorous sanitising, washing, glove-wearing, and not touching anything. That's the highlight of my week. My YO is really good about keeping in touch, though, so we get regular photos and updates on the FB group. Whoever's visited the fields that day also makes an effort to post photos of all the horses.

Owners were given a choice between paying for full livery and their horses staying in their usual routine, or their horse being turned out 24/7 and not paying extra. With horses out 24/7, the grass in the winter fields is down to almost nothing, and the horses are getting quite scrappy over the hay that gets put out. Thankfully, they've shifted to the summer fields today, so hopefully things will be a bit more peaceful. I still worry about her, though, because she's right down at the bottom of the pecking order.

 

[Abi90]

Tired and frustrated. Watching something unfold in front of me which makes the arguments about whether to ride or not seem quite petty. Honestly, with this going on you may as well crack on!

 

[Bernster]

All a bit surreal really.

Finding some of the sniping on here a bit depressing and repetitive but for now it seems to have passed.

Day 1 our yard wasn’t on lock down so I hoped we might be ok. Sadly they went on lock down on day 2. Horse is on full livery, they are sending pics and videos, and I know he’s being well looked after. Can’t get my head around this going on for months though - struggling to accept that might be the case.

I’m working from home and for now I'm busier than normal. It’s really odd compared to lots of others who seem to be bored, or are finding jobs to do etc. Barely time to fit in one exercise a day. eating all the quarantine snacks and not doing enough activity - not a good mix!

Im fortunate in so many ways and really hoping this will pass without friends or loved ones being badly hit. Like many, my parents are high risk but are being good about staying in.

A worrying time for everyone. Feels like I’m living through an apocalypse movie, but the zombies don’t eat your brains.

 

[Floofball]

So sorry for your loss in these awful times @CMcC

I’m getting fat, eating and drinking far too much so as well as the whole thing going on in the world I’m getting really annoyed with myself ?
I live on my own but have 2 dogs, 2 cats and an aquarium so have company. Like @GTRJazz I feel I should be doing more - my brother is wfh, then doing local deliveries to vunerable/isolating folk. But apart from seeing to the horses I’m just staying in so at least I’m doing my bit right?
Anxiety levels have dropped quite a bit now as I’ve limited myself access to the news, and after being very low over the weekend I’m feeling more positive now - actually got 7 hours sleep last night ? Going to cook this afternoon - not cooked with actual fresh ingredients for years! House has never been so clean and organised. Crazy times - stay safe everyone ??

 

[Lurfy]

I'm very sorry for your loss CMcC. I hope you can talk to your sister by phone at least to help you through this difficult time.
I just went to see my horse who is on full board for my 1hr brush/walk visit. The agistment centre has developed a timetable to limit the number of people onsite together. I am very happy to be able to see him.
I am working from home as of this week which is interesting! I will get used to the challenges I am sure and am glad to have a job.
My husband has been in isolation for 11 days since arriving from overseas, another 3 days to go and then he can go shopping which is a quite an experience given the lack of necessities available. I'll be happy to hand that baton to him!

 

[Michen]

Super surreal. I live on my own and I'm used to spending half if not more of my evenings a week at friends, work dinners etc so it's very strange to be sat here. Have found a new love for Sherry (must be channelling my inner grandmother at 28 years old) and definitely drinking too much of that! I am still a little concerned re work as news now saying until October before normality resumes and whilst we are safe from furloughing for now, I'm not sure how long that can be the case for. I'm also worried about the long term repercussions for our industry (hospitality tech).

But on the other hand I've never been more relaxed in some ways. No more rushing for a 6am train. I can rehab Boggle and do Bear and not stress about time. I can groom my horses, muck out perfectly, scrub buckets etc....it's bizarre.

 

[Upthecreek]

Love your outlook.

I think that's partly what I'm struggling with too, is what to fill my time with. It's made me realise how I have nothing else in my life!!

I've watched everything on Horse and Country, I don't really read, I've tidied the house and then I do end up spending too much time on social media.

A book is a good idea, I'll get searching. Haven't read anything in years so let's hope I remember how ;-)

Richard Maxwell’s books are well worth reading. I got mine second hand from Amazon for a few pounds.

 

[Mrs G]

The idea of not being allowed to go to work and have to stay in my house and not see anyone for weeks would have sounded like bliss once upon a time! The reality is I'm lonely and bored, and if I think about it too much; scared of the financial consequences of all this. I miss seeing my family and friends, I miss actual physical contact with another human! That said, for the first time since he died I have thought Im glad my husband isnt here to see it; he was a worrier extraordinaire and this would have tipped him over the edge. Im on a DIY livery yard so I still get to go out and sort my horse at least once a day and quite frankly thats the only thing keeping me sane and giving my days some sort of structure!

 

[FNC]

Sorry for your loss CMcC ?

I am retired so no working from home as such but I live alone so my interaction with people is minimal in normal circumstances anyway, but I’m surprised how much I’m missing a few chats with various people when out & about dog walking. I am still seeing a few dog walking people & having some brief (shouty) conversations from a distance but it’s weird not being able to just go out for things.

I no longer have my horse so that’s one thing I don’t have to worry about - my heart goes out to those of you trying to balance this at the moment

 

[milliepops]

Other than not being able to do outings with the horses, and finding shopping to be an unpleasant experience, lockdown is really not any different to my normal life. I never see anyone and have no other reason to leave the house

I don't know whether that's why I feel so very frustrated about not being able to go for a lesson - shows I can live without but being without training is the pits. It's the only time I leave my routine of wfh and pretty much the only time I see anyone other than YO and my OH. First world problem, I know, I know, grumble grumble *shuffles off*

 

[spacefaer]

I work on finding silver linings in everything - might be annoying for some but is my coping mechanism. So I look at the good bits - if I dwelt on the not-so good bits (can't even write "bad" bits) then it would be too pants to contemplate.
So, I work on the positives.....
Not a lot has changed here in my day to day life - managed to get two turned away on their summer field the day before lockdown, so less mucking out and hay consumption. The other three are still at home at the moment, hacking quietly round the lanes - it's amazing to hack with no traffic, just local dog walkers and a couple of mums with pushchairs. The cyclists seems to have found somewhere else to go, thank God, and the visiting walkers must have decided to stay in their own areas after the excitement of the first weekend when everyone seemed to think they were on holiday - the joys of living in a tourist area.
OH will be home for the foreseeable which is weird at this time of year, as he has normally gone to work from now until September - makes for a very peaceful summer for me and is taking a bit of adjusting to - he is full of energy for the longstanding jobs he wants to complete....

 

[HufflyPuffly]

Lockdown hasn't been too hard for me in that my routine hasn't changed asides from working from every day rather than only two days. The yard is open on a rota, as the YO is pregnant so has no desire to put herself in higher risk of either injury or contamination.

However, things are looking super bleak for my little old show horse, steroid injection hasn't worked and she is still extremely lame a week and a half on . Hard not to be fearing the worst, had her shoes pulled off again today, in a clutching at straws that it might help... Had to queue for over an hour to pick up her Cushings medication yesterday and now need to go and pick up more pain relief today, I am going out more now than before lockdown , though they are definitely essential journeys!

So drinking and eating too much and my poor mum feels awful that she can't come and share the burden or see her horse as we're trying to be sensible in that as Topaz's usual carer mum 'shouldn't' come .

 

[milliepops]

Lockdown hasn't been too hard for me in that my routine hasn't changed asides from working from every day rather than only two days. The yard is open on a rota, as the YO is pregnant so has no desire to put herself in higher risk of either injury or contamination.

However, things are looking super bleak for my little old show horse, steroid injection hasn't worked and she is still extremely lame a week and a half on . Hard not to be fearing the worst, had her shoes pulled off again today, in a clutching at straws that it might help... Had to queue for over an hour to pick up her Cushings medication yesterday and now need to go and pick up more pain relief today, I am going out more now than before lockdown , though they are definitely essential journeys!

So drinking and eating too much and my poor mum feels awful that she can't come and share the burden or see her horse as we're trying to be sensible in that as Topaz's usual carer mum 'shouldn't' come .

sorry about Doodle hope she turns a corner soon x

 

[HufflyPuffly]

sorry about Doodle hope she turns a corner soon x

Thanks, I know it's something we will all have to face I just didn't envisage having to do it alone, the next week will tell us either way I think...

 

[milliepops]

Thanks, I know it's something we will all have to face I just didn't envisage having to do it alone, the next week will tell us either way I think...

you're alone, but not alone, iyswim xxx sending recovery vibes and will keep everything crossed for you both.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

HP. I was feeling very similar about my TBxWelsh mare and thinking that we couldn't really increase her bute any more when a friend recommended trying magnetic leg wraps. They worked miraculously and she was field sound within 24 hours. I must add that I have tried them on other horses and not seen the same results but they might be worth a try at this stage.

 

[HufflyPuffly]

HP. I was feeling very similar about my TBxWelsh mare and thinking that we couldn't really increase her bute any more when a friend recommended trying magnetic leg wraps. They worked miraculously and she was field sound within 24 hours. I must add that I have tried them on other horses and not seen the same results but they might be worth a try at this stage.

I do have some actually, though not hock ones?

Will try anything currently , I thought she might have looked fractionally better this morning but not sure if I'm just wishing it. Might re-activate my old thread when she first injured the hock and see if anyone has any other ideas. Super hard as with everything on lockdown I can't get her to the vet hospital, and even if we do more tests the vets aren't sure what else they could do to treat it. It's not a fracture or inflamed arthritis as we have x-rayed, so soft tissue injury at best guess, but she is a complete nightmare to box rest so long term box rest isn't a prospect I want to really put her through .

 

[ihatework]

I’m lucky in that I’m really good at dealing mentally with the things I can’t control. So on the whole I’m zoning out to Covid hysteria and doing what I can do. Now this obviously is much easier for people who have a job, income an no imminent threat to their health.

My horses are on lockdown so I can’t see them. One is really quite poorly at the moment and I’m up to the third vet visit in a week so it’s tough not being able to see him and be there for the vet. But equally I’m so fortunate that he is in such an experienced yard that I have no need to worry. It sucks but it’s life.

So really my focus is on what I can do that makes a difference.
I can stay healthy so I can function at work and help keep cancer patients safe and on medication.
I can support my single-parent friend with her daughter so that she can go and work on the front line.
I can volunteer to drive medications around for the NHS in the weekends.
I can support local business’ trying to stay afloat.
I can continue to pay local self employed people for their services (eg cleaner) even if I can’t currently use them, until the government payments kick in.
And when this is over, instead of financing a German, Japanese or Swedish car I can choose to buy British.