How do you get your motivation back?

[J_sarahd]

As the title says really.

I am really struggling to find the motivation to do anything with my boy. He will always be looked after as a top priority. I’ve thought about selling him a lot over the last few days.

I just feel that if I do flatwork in the school, it’ll go badly. I had a confidence knock on Sunday out hacking so I don’t really want to go out just yet. Plus with no transport, I don’t have anything pushing me. In the back of my mind I feel like I’m wasting him as I don’t know if we will get out at all this summer.

I’ve got a lesson on Saturday, which I hope injects some motivation because right now, I’m ready to give up horses and nothing bad has even happened!

 

[Trouper]

Are you feeling this way about life in general at the moment or just about the boy? I ask as someone who has not had to worry about jobs/finances etc during this pandemic so my experience of this last year would best be summed up as "easy but boring" - and I realise that makes me very privileged. But it has been boring and this long draggy end to winter has not helped to lift anyone's spirits or make them feel motivated to much at all.
I think I might be using my lesson this weekend as much to have a conversation with my instructor on this as to have a lesson. As someone who knows both you and the horse they might have some ideas on how to break this barrier and get you moving forward again.

 

[milliepops]

Are you feeling this way about life in general at the moment or just about the boy? I ask as someone who has not had to worry about jobs/finances etc during this pandemic so my experience of this last year would best be summed up as "easy but boring" - and I realise that makes me very privileged. But it has been boring and this long draggy end to winter has not helped to lift anyone's spirits or make them feel motivated to much at all.
I think I might be using my lesson this weekend as much to have a conversation with my instructor on this as to have a lesson. As someone who knows both you and the horse they might have some ideas on how to break this barrier and get you moving forward again.

this is a good post.
I'm also stuck in the easy but boring phase, well, work life has been phenomenally stressful but at least I haven't had any worries about employment so it still counts!

My horse is returning to work after illness, plus before she was ill we were in a weird limbo phase in training so we aren't ready to compete unless going down a level which I'm not interested in. it's a really odd position to be in.

Mine is now fit enough to restart lessons and that is giving me structure, at the mo I'm doing short weekly ones instead of full length fortnightly so I get to check in frequently and report back on our homework. it keeps me on track and motivated.

Maybe you need to set yourself some fun goals to work towards? online dressage? if you want something a bit different some of the online shows do Prix Caprilli so dressage with little jumps being aimless is what makes me lose motivation so something like that might help?

 

[Wizpop]

It sounds very much as though you are in a place where you see the negatives at the moment. I agree with what Trouper has said about talking to your instructor. If he/ she knows you well, I’m sure they will have ways to help motivate you. Remember, it doesn’t need to anything massive to just flick that switch back to “go”! It’s been an incredibly difficult twelve months for many, and has also been quite isolating in a lot of ways- I’m sensing you are feeling that. Above all, don’t do anything hasty with your horse! Good luck and let us know how you get on.

 

[Meredith]

Although my situation is completely different I can understand your feelings.
I bought my pony last autumn during the lockdown easing. I had sold a little horse earlier in the summer because we did not suit.
I had a couple of lessons, not really successful, on this pony and then another lockdown.
For 3 months I hacked alone. I have to go for lessons to use a school.
For 2 months I did not have a saddle as it was being altered and became ‘locked in’!
I restarted at the beginning of March and during this last week had an inkling of the feelgood factor returning.
This morning there is snow, every thing is frozen and I want to hibernate.
I have a lesson tomorrow and am hoping I will be remotivated then.

What I am trying to say is that everything changes so quickly and hinges on such tiny differences that perhaps big decisions are best mulled over for a while.
If you explain how you feel to your instructor maybe together you can set targets for you to work towards?

Don’t be hasty, remember summer is coming
Good luck

 

[southerncomfort]

Good posts above!

I really struggle with motivation over winter (which apparently hasn't ended yet).

So I booked us in for a TREC obstacles day mid May. It's given me a kick up the backside as I've had to think about all the things my youngster needs to be doing well to get the most enjoyment and education out of the day I.e needs to load reliably, needs to be calm and sensible with other horses around etc. So it's enabled me to set little goals and we have something to aim for.

Could you book a summer camp or something else to look forward to?

 

[Red-1]

Are you enjoying looking after your horse? I did nothing all winter, but TBF my horse was re-habbing so I did have a sense of purpose, but even if I had not, he is nice to look after anyway. Your horse doesn't feel wasted, I am sure.

You feel motivated to do horse care, so if you are also enjoying that, then I would ride with that for the moment. A lesson sounds great, if it is what you want to do.

I would guard against selling for feeling meh right now, if your horse is a good 'un, as they are hard to find. It has been a weird and stressful year, even for those whose lives have, on the face of it, carried on. Everyone will have underlying stress. Summer will soon be here, I would see how you feel when it all warms up.

That said, horses are making many £££s at the moment.

 

[huskydamage]

I was extremely bored with my horses over lockdown and doing them in the endless rain. I was desperate to hire a school, hunt anything! Then I got injured (non horse related) and couldnt even muck out. I was desperate to get back to doing my horses, I have just started light riding again but its difficult and I still can't do a lot. I'd give anything just to be able to muck out quickly and jump on my horse for a hack before work like I used to. Even a bad ride would still be good! Raining, boring whatever I would love it.
If you take a break from riding you might realise if you miss it, (or not) and can then decide.

 

[J_sarahd]

Thank you everyone for your replies. There's definitely some good (and supportive) stuff. I think money woes are slightly helping with the push to want to sell. He's a 13.2hh "sport cob" with the scope to jump up to at least 1m and fast & fun. Definitely a Pony Club pony so I'd probably at least double my money on him in the current market. Plus, whilst I have been lucky in that my life hasn't really changed recently, I have noticed this morning that my job is really draining me and burning me out, which I am guessing isn't helping with the motivation.

I've tried to give myself things to look forward to by writing a list of all the places I want to visit with him this summer. It's just difficult because I don't have my own transport and I don't have the funds to hire transport as often as perhaps I would like to. Plus, I've got no desire to compete this year.

I know I sound very, very negative. I am very grateful to have what I have and I do adore my boy (and like I said, I will always, always make sure he's properly cared for). I just want to get that motivation and confidence back.

 

[Meredith]

If you don’t have transport would it be possible to share with someone from your yard? You could share a hire horsebox or go with them in theirs?
If you could find someone with similar aims you could encourage and support each other.
Being social not alone is a great boost I think.

 

[J_sarahd]

Yeah everyone else has trailers and I am friends with everyone on the yard. I'm sure if they go out and there's space, they will ask me and I'll of course say yes. Thankfully a lot of them do the same sort of thing as me and are at a similar level. It's just one of those things though were I've got to wait to be asked to go because I feel like if I suggest oh lets hire X arena, it comes across as me just using them for transport (I'm obviously not and I'll always, always pay if people take me). You're right though, I always find arena hire or jumping at home or even hacking much better with someone else (can't flatwork with someone else as I just lose my concentration...!)

 

[Meredith]

Yeah everyone else has trailers and I am friends with everyone on the yard. I'm sure if they go out and there's space, they will ask me and I'll of course say yes. Thankfully a lot of them do the same sort of thing as me and are at a similar level. It's just one of those things though were I've got to wait to be asked to go because I feel like if I suggest oh lets hire X arena, it comes across as me just using them for transport (I'm obviously not and I'll always, always pay if people take me). You're right though, I always find arena hire or jumping at home or even hacking much better with someone else (can't flatwork with someone else as I just lose my concentration...!)

There you go, you have said it yourself, somewhere to start.

Could you say for example, when you could afford to do it alone if necessary so that you feel OK about not finding anyone.

‘ I am thinking of going to the xxxx clinic at yyy in a couple of weeks. Would anyone like to share with me in hiring a box to get there?’

 

[J_sarahd]

That's a good way to approach it, thank you. I'm hoping to try and get out at least once a month even if this is by myself as a way of motivating myself. I'm also trying not to pressure myself to compete. The yard like to go to local shows and one is a hackable distance away so I'll go to that and pop round the show jumping for some practise and to keep our eye in/keep myself motivated and hopefully it'll give me that itch again to go and join BS Club like I said I would...!

 

[Meredith]

Competition isn’t the only goal.
At the moment mine, after months of riding alone, is to hack out with friends and then go on a fun ride. I have booked one for May so I am hoping that on the day all the stars will be aligned and the weather good.
Looking forward to hearing about your progress.

 

[J_sarahd]

Thought I'd post an update that no one asked for! I really didn't want to ride last night - I felt completely burnt out and thought I would've just got myself and him frustrated as we wouldn't have got anywhere. A friend said to just lunge, but I said that I should probably ride, even if it's just some attempt at walk, trot and canter on both reins. Well, I got on and he was very fresh (spring grass, dramatic change in weather and the fact we've not been in the school for weeks probably all came into play!) but oh my god. He was incredible. I actually felt confident enough to spend the majority working on our bad rein instead of our good, which is what I usually do (bad rider!!). Lots of leg yielding and turn on the forehand to get him moving away from my leg. Even tried canter LYs on our good rein again after months & months of not feeling good enough to do them. All in all a great flatwork session and it's given me a little bit of motivation again now (not back to where I was pre-lockdown but getting there!)