How is it possible...

[timefort]

to look vaguely neat and tidy while riding?

This is a bit tongue in cheek as I'm never going to be super-smart and matchy matchy, but yesterday I got to the yard wearing new black riding tights (I've wanted to try noble outfitters tights for ages and they were in tack shop sale so would have been rude not to!), clean long-sleeved top and pony had a clean numnah which vaguely matched colour of my top (lucky co-incidence). We should have looked smart, connected etc etc, except that by the time I was on-board, I was covered in dirt and dust, the saddle was covered in scurfy hand-prints, and I'd left my hat down-wind of the moulting pony so that was orange and white. If I'd gone through a hedge backwards I'd have been cleaner. Its a full livery yard, beautifully maintained so I've only myself to blame.

Sigh. Short of overalls, is there any hope?

 

[IcarusGirl]

I'm the same! When I go to competitions i get changed into my show gear literally moments before I get on - but i'll still have a smear on my knee, or hay in my hairnet!

 

[HazuraJane]

I wear a men's long-sleeved shirt over my riding clothes and hang a small towel from my pocket on the days I have a lesson with the Big Shot Riding Coach.
Last thing I do before walking to the mounting block is peel off the shirt and hang the towel on the stall handle.
For some reason, my horse loves to get green mouth slobber all over my back and arms.
It's like he's marking me as his own, which is sweet but doesn't look very nice.

 

[dorsetladette]

I can't even get to work clean never mind tack up and ride without getting grease, dust or dribble all over me. I'm sat here now (in the office) with slight hint of damp sheep about me and there is always bits of hay in the carpet under my desk.

I'm never gonna look like the matchy matchy girls in the catalogue/magazine photos.

 

[babymare]

In 50 years of being with horses I have never managed the glamorous look lol. I had given up there long time ago ??

 

[Cortez]

Grooms, my dear: you need grooms if you want to look in any way neat, tidy or even vaguely clean.

 

[Muddywellies]

At my little DIY yard there's a lady who is always totally immaculate. Hair and makeup beautifully done and she almost always wears black which is terrible for showing dust, hay, hair etc etc. But she's never got a spec on her. She makes me feel terribly scruffy. What's even more annoying is she's the most wonderful person and I adore her, so I can't even call her little miss prim and proper or anything ??

 

[Translationsneeded]

The people at mine who look like that don’t ride much and their horse is either in a stable or a rug or both. My field kept, hairy, mud monsters have me looking gross in 30 seconds or less!
I do wish I didn’t look so grim all the time tho!

 

[HeyMich]

No. Just embrace the mud!

Everyone will be looking at your happy horse and the huge smile on your face so won't even notice the chaos and lack of matchy matchy. Well, that's the theory, and I'm sticking to it!

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

People attempt to make things match .... your lucky of my boots and chaps are the same colour let alone anything else!

 

[timefort]

People attempt to make things match .... your lucky of my boots and chaps are the same colour let alone anything else!

Well, on the one hand I am extremely matchy matchy - both pony and I are the same colour of mud and scurf.

Grooms, my dear: you need grooms if you want to look in any way neat, tidy or even vaguely clean.

That'll be it!!

But, I am very glad to know I'm not alone! I don't really mind, I've looked this way for the last 30+ years with horses so I'm not going to change now, but there are occasions when I look at other people on the yard looking neat and presentable and then catch sight of myself in the arena mirrors and just think "Ohh..."

 

[Gloi]

I only buy mud coloured clothes

 

[mini_b]

Well, on the one hand I am extremely matchy matchy - both pony and I are the same colour of mud and scurf.


That'll be it!!

But, I am very glad to know I'm not alone! I don't really mind, I've looked this way for the last 30+ years with horses so I'm not going to change now, but there are occasions when I look at other people on the yard looking neat and presentable and then catch sight of myself in the arena mirrors and just think "Ohh..."

i look at myself in people’s windows out hacking like some ugly budgie.
always sorely disappointed.

 

[Trinket12]

 

[Orangehorse]

I was parked next to someone at a show and watched with admiration as she walked very carefully down the ramp towards her horse, with her long boots covered up with some thick tights or socks. When she was in the saddle her mother carefully pulled them off. She went on to win the best turned out and I got to know her well in later years, but she was always immaculate.

 

[dorsetladette]

I was parked next to someone at a show and watched with admiration as she walked very carefully down the ramp towards her horse, with her long boots covered up with some thick tights or socks. When she was in the saddle her mother carefully pulled them off. She went on to win the best turned out and I got to know her well in later years, but she was always immaculate.

As a kid I spent what felt like a life time stood on plastic bag next to the car while my mum got my pony ready in the trailer. Every now and then she would stick her head out of the jockeu door and shout 'don't move' ?

I've never managed to get me and a horse in the ring so clean since I've had to do it myself!

 

[little_critter]

At my little DIY yard there's a lady who is always totally immaculate. Hair and makeup beautifully done and she almost always wears black which is terrible for showing dust, hay, hair etc etc. But she's never got a spec on her. She makes me feel terribly scruffy. What's even more annoying is she's the most wonderful person and I adore her, so I can't even call her little miss prim and proper or anything ??

We had one like that! Very pretty, irritatingly slim and also a lovely person AND she appeared to repel dirt. How? Just how?

 

[Errin Paddywack]

We had one like that! Very pretty, irritatingly slim and also a lovely person AND she appeared to repel dirt.

So did we!! She was a cracking rider too and so nice.

 

[dogatemysalad]

At my little DIY yard there's a lady who is always totally immaculate. Hair and makeup beautifully done and she almost always wears black which is terrible for showing dust, hay, hair etc etc. But she's never got a spec on her. She makes me feel terribly scruffy. What's even more annoying is she's the most wonderful person and I adore her, so I can't even call her little miss prim and proper or anything ??

Woah, I know her too ! There can't be more than one of her, surely ? She was slim with long blonde curly hair, always wore black and could muck out, ride and then go to work, do a 3 hour drive and return to ride in the afternoon. Still looking immaculate, lovely and funny.

 

[catkin]

Ah - you gave the reason in your second para - 'pony'.
Ponies can magic up dirt-making powers at will, they think its a fine joke

 

[Fools Motto]

I can't ever look neat and tidy, even when I try and be non horsey!
There is never going to be any hope for me. I now need to go and hoover the carpet my side of the bed because - well, it's a start! lol

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

Honestly, you do need a groom, as mentioned. A mate got me and the horse ready for an inhand show. She had chalk for his feathers, made me get brown twine for my number and was there with baby wipes and a water spray at every turn. She used to be made to sit in a big plastic bag in the car til she went in the ring.

There’s a glamorous woman or two at my yard, they wear beautiful jods-is it Aztec? Their horses are beautiful, they're lovely people, slim, funny. I can only gasp in amazement as they leave, looking as immaculate as when they arrived, having ridden, hauled round hay nets etc.

 

[IcarusGirl]

I can only gasp in amazement as they leave, looking as immaculate as when they arrived, having ridden, hauled round hay nets etc.

It always amazes me how people can compete, take their hat off and shake it into a lovely silky looking high ponytail, and stroll around the showground looking like they've just popped out of a magazine photoshoot.

When I take my hat off I have to immediately jam a baseball cap on to hide the fact my hair is slicked down to my scalp with sweat and god know what else!

 

[timefort]

Ah - you gave the reason in your second para - 'pony'.
Ponies can magic up dirt-making powers at will, they think its a fine joke

I can't even properly blame that - she's technically a horse (albeit a little one), but to my mind rides much more like a pony, has a pony-type personality and ABSOLUTELY has the pony dirt-making and transferring skills!

i look at myself in people’s windows out hacking like some ugly budgie.
always sorely disappointed.

I'm sorry, this has made me laugh - that is EXACTLY my reaction. The only plus side (I think, please don't disillusion me) is that I'm visible and instantly recogniseable while hacking.

There are multiple people on my yard who look neat, tidy and magazine ready after their rides, it must be a gene I'm lacking

 

[milliepops]

View attachment 54892

not sweaty enough, haha!