How long did it take to bond with your new horse

[paddy555]

My new pony arrived almost two weeks ago. I feel like she means the world to me already, as she is everything I had been pining for since I lost my special chap last August.

It probably helps that she seems happiest when being pampered and in human company. I think she is picking up on my elation! I just stand there grinning like an idiot when I am brushing her ?...

that is just so nice.

 

[teddy_]

that is just so nice.

Aw thank you !

 

[Bernster]

Bertie, bought last year, I really liked him from the start and he’s a cuddly type. Can’t remember when he started snuffling at me (usually when I’m near the treat box) but he’s one of the most affectionate horses I’ve had. Almost a year on, we’re still working each other out riding wise!

 

[spacefaer]

I never feel I " know" a horse until we do stuff together. Hacking, schooling, riding at home - all meh and they could be someone else's horse - until we've done something testing together - like going xc or our first day's hunting. Only then do I know whether I truly feel they're "mine"

In human terms, a bit like the difference between a mate and a partner

 

[Trouper]

Fell in love with both of them instantly - not sure they felt that way about me until they learned to trust!!

But the learning about each other is just such a fascinating period that I hope you can enjoy the process. It's great when you can both read each other like a well-thumbed book but, for me, there is also joy in discovery of new things and watching the development unfold.

 

[Not_so_brave_anymore]

After 2 months I was head over heels in love with my pony, I didn't believe she would ever put a foot wrong. But that's because I didn't know that she's a hormonal she-devil for 3 weeks in the autumn, or that she's not scared of combine harvesters but she's terrified of bicycles, that she loves my regular vet but she'll snap baler twine to get away from a male vet etc etc

It took me a full year to feel like I'd been through pretty much every situation, and I knew how the pony was going to react. Don't get me wrong- a couple of the reactions still stress me out (!) but 2 years on I can very accurately predict her reactions, and for me that's what trust is.

 

[Gloi]

He was such a cute foal I couldn't help but love him, and he's still 7 years later ?

 

[SussexbytheXmasTree]

My oldie probably about 24hrs. I had him as a direct swap for my mistake buy and could send him back. I wasn’t that enamoured when I tried him but I fell in love almost immediately he got home and knew he’d never go back. We did still have to build out relationship though and have had ups and downs.

Younger horse took a lot longer. He had my oldie to compete with for a start and although very affectionate has a more dominant “me me me” character and rather opinionated. I’ve had him 4 years this year and it’s been a slow burn but I totally adore him now. The last year I bought a Horsebox and we’ve done a lot which I think has built a lot of trust between us. He’s still opinionated though.

 

[Red-1]

Its not an absolute thing!! Hate the "bond" word as if something magical happens at a specified point . Building a working partnership is a gradual process and it all depends, just like any relationship with any person or animal!

I don't know what you mean by 'absolute thing' however I do think there can be a magical 'thing' that happens at a specified point.

A couple I have known as soon as I see them. One, my ginger Jay Man, that one was spooky. I felt like I 'knew' him before I had ever seen him, or even before I knew where he was. I felt like a horse was calling and I set out looking for him. Looked at many who were not 'him' but knew him like a recognition as soon as we met; he was the same. I think we were both startled. It was like he had been waiting for me, that is how it felt.

He was with a top pro, but reared daily. I was told in no uncertain terms that I couldn't buy him. I knew and would have moved heaven and earth to get him. I offered to sign something to say I was not buying a ridden horse, just a pasture ornament. I didn't have to but was allowed a test ride, with the expectation that, "You won't last 2 minutes!"

He was ace! I had no fears. We worked it out. Fabulous horse.

Some, the 'bond' thing, the magical thing that can come at a specified time, has happened when the horse has been ill. Other times, it is when we have conquered some foe. Some as soon as I see them, they have felt like destiny. And then there was Jay, who invaded my thoughts (in a nice way) for months.

I don't pretend to understand it. But, because it isn't real for some people (yet) doesn't mean it isn't real for others.

 

[milliepops]

He was such a cute foal I couldn't help but love him, and he's still 7 years later ?

this made me think of my homebred, i think because i've seen her every single day of her life we have had a nice relationship from the off. she was a super friendly foal who liked people straight away. She is a naturally bold horse but the trust and ability to read each other was much easier to develop than with horses that came into my life as adults.

 

[millmo]

Took me 18 months. I spent every day with her but she didn't do anything for me. There was nothing I liked about her. I bought her for my daughter but with me to share her. After 18 months I started riding her and I think that is when we started to gel. That was 19 years ago and she is my world.

 

[Sossigpoker]

About 6 months. At least.

 

[Caol Ila]

I don't feel like I have, with either of them. I feel like I'm waiting for something to go wrong. Like one of these days, the Highland will revert to feral-ness, buck me off, and refuse to ever be caught again. I just feel we're on a downswing at the moment. There's every chance I just might be totally mental because it's fast approaching the one year anniversary of losing my old horse, who I owned for 21 years, and discovering that my two-year old was in foal, which happened on the same day.

 

[Equi]

It deffo takes a long time. I think it took me about a good 10 months to get really comfortable with my new lad. Its just past the one year mark since i lost my heart horse, i cant believe the time has gone so fast. Crazy.

 

[Leandy]

I don't know what you mean by 'absolute thing'

I meant a binary thing, ie either there is a bond or there isn't.

 

[Greylegs]

Had my new girl for 5 months now and we're definitely getting there now. There was a moment at around 3 months when she just seemed to relax and really "settle" - which is difficult to describe, but we went from a bit stressed and bossy one day to chilled out and calm the next and we've been a better team since then. Although she's pretty chilled out and calm most of the time anyhow (which is why I bought her in the first place). Like any relationship, these things take time.

Just because you "own" a horse and have forked out hard cash to obtain it, doesn't mean it's got to like you from day one. It probably liked its old owner/home/stable/companions, and it's always going to take time to learn to know you/your yard/your routine etc. Give it time ..........

 

[equestriansecretsquirrel]

I’ve had my ex racer mare for 15 months now and I still don’t feel that ‘connection’ but she came to me in a poor state with a lot of anxiety and it’s taking us a long time to get to where we would like to be. She is now being treated for PSD and kissing spine so that doesn’t help but I just have to think that in the long run it will be worth it
She is a distrusting horse and has no faith in me as a leader which is frustrating as I’ve tried so many techniques to try to gain her trust. I shall keep plodding along and hopefully one day we will become best buds

 

[southerncomfort]

I think a lot hinges on how quickly the horse settles in to their new home.

My daughter's pony was really upset by the move. It took her over a year to find her feet, during which time she was hellish to catch, a bit too handy with her back feet and generally angry and distrustful. My daughter got on OK with her but I'd have happily sold her for the change in someone's pocket! After she settled I began to see her true personality and we got on a lot better.

At the other end of the spectrum is my boy who arrived with a general attitude of 'ah right, I live here now do I? Cool!' and just completely accepted us and his new home. I loved him immediately!