How long did it take to establish a steady relationship......

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Tayto

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with your horse?

Before I bought my horse (that I have now had for 6 months), I had a 22 yr old, well established school mistress horse on loan. In the time I had her, she was pretty reliable and predictable and we didnt have too many major blips.

So naively I went on to buy my own horse. After 4 months of almost "perfect" behaviour, she took me totally surprise with some behaviours that she had shown no signs of before i.e. napping etc (some of which you may of read about on here!).

This has led me to ponder........ how long does it take to gain a relationship with a horse where you have a pretty steady bond?

I am under no illusion that it will take me much longer than 6 months to get to a stage where we have a pretty established relationship and we have A LOT of work to do to get there but just wondered about other peoples experiences?

Thanks for sharing :)
 
I had the same pony for 19yrs. Hated him the first six months but he was all I could find to loan. After that my parents bought him and we established a bond. A good 5yrs later I realised I knew what he was going to do before he even did it. I could read him like a book and had no idea how, I just... did. He was and still is the absolute love of my life.

My next horse. a 4yr old Appy I had for just over 3yrs. I never really bonded with him at all in that time, and as a result I finally admitted he wasn't right for me and sold him. I always believed I was just comparing him to the old boy, but have since realised that wasn't the case at all.

The new one, a 16yr old standardbred I fell in love with before I'd even brought him home. He can be nappy, grumpy and opinionated, but he's safe and from the very first day I bonded with him. I didn't know that he was a pacer and the first time he strode out with me on the gallops I nearly sent him back! But researching pacers helped a lot and I quickly realised he wasn't being naughty (or bolting with me in some kind of weird trot), he was just doing what he thought I was asking and I adapted. I had with him in the space of a month something that took 5yrs with my first pony and something I'd never achieved in 3yrs with the appy. They're all different, and I don't know if it's his age or the fact we just understand one another, but it's there.

That's my experience anyway with three completely different horses.
 
My late mare I only had a year before she needed putting to sleep due to various different problems, but I had such a strong bond with her, the strongest I've ever had with a horse. I guess our relationship was pushed to the limit because we went through so much together, it made us incredibly strong! I lost apart of me the day she was finally laid to rest.

The relationship I have with my new mare (I've had her 10 months) is still a work in progress ;) ...she's quite distant and independant and doesn't trust easily... but we've come on leaps and bounds and already succesfully tackled everything from x-country to dressage to jumping (she's only 5).

I have always thought it to take longer to build a relationship with a mare, but once you've gained their trust/respect, the bond will be un-breakable!!
 
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With my old boy, it was almost instant. We genuinely clicked, and just got each other straight away. But that was a real one off and we were both pretty mental- it was always going to be a perfect match or a horror story!

It took Al a good year to bond with Reg, and then another to solidify that. Now, they are completely in tune with each other. To a ridiculous level really! Smokes she's pretty bonded with after only 4 months, but I think a lot of that is because he had 6 weeks off where she just spent time getting to know him without riding being involved...
 
I was extremely lucky in that I got to spend a lot of time with Ned without having any responsibilities. I could take it at my own pace and if I felt he was too much I could step back and not bother with him for a while.

That being said, riding him off and on for a few years, I would say it took about 3 years. I didn't like him at all at first and after that it took a while for us to properly "bond"

With Cookie, we're not there yet. I've had him just over a month but known him just over a year. I didn't see him as much as I saw Ned and apart from a few little walks and grooming, I didn't handle him very often. He's a good lad though and I can see us getting a good relationship going :)
 
I am hoping over winter when she relies on me more and is stabled over night, we will bond more. We havent been through all the seasons together yet so I am still getting to know her personality and what makes her tick.

Thats what happened with my old mare - over winter when she was stabled overnight, I spent a lot more time with her just chilling in the stable etc and we seemed to click and it was an ace feeing - cant wait to have that with my new girl :)
 
I have had my boy 4 years .. At first we were in the honeymoon period .. Lust ;) my pony is so beautiful I spent lots of time just watching him .. As time goes on and relationship has changed I love him deeply inside and out ..yes we have the odd quibble ..but what healthy marriage doesn't ? My boy has had a fair few health issues over the four years ..so I have been there at his most vulnerable ..I hated seeing him ill ..but It re confirmed how strong our relationship has grown ... I'm lucky I have owned him since he was 2 .. So I know him inside out .. And understand all his little quirks :p
 
Honestly, about 10 months, with my lad, we had that moment when you just 'click' and are on the same wavelength! even thought nothing had been amiss before that it was a lightbulb moment
 
Around a year for me.. I've had him 2 and a half now and I'd say we're pretty solid as a team, I know his ins and outs and we are gelled very well.

Shame really because we've only had my OH horse for 5 months and unfortunately having to sell him due to him loosing his interest with him and me not having time for two! He'd be amazing this time next year. Wish we didn't have to get rid...
 
It took a year with my Haffy. First 8 months were very up and down (more down!) then things started to improve a little and now (14 months together) he is a super star that I trust 100%. But 4 months ago I d have sold him for meat!
 
It's been a year here and I'm just getting to the stage where we're both comfortable and settled in with one another :) like Dundry says, there was a 'click' moment and since then (touch wood) she's been a model horse. It really feels like she's there for me!
 
Ms123 your first paragraph i could have written myself , it'll be a year on the 1st october since i let my girl go ( Am already gettin emotional ) i only had her 18 months ... i finally got to a point where i could own horse again after a few loan disasters.. my grandad gave me £1000 ( all us grandkids) and i went and bought the first one i saw ! anyone else would have turned around at the gate , she was a pitiful sight but i paid £700 and brought her home and loved her ,deep down knowing she wasn't healthy. I spent soo much time with her ( got stables at home) first 8 months were ok then came the laminitis , cushings, then Ems then laminitis again. Because of her age i couldn't get insurance for illness, spent thousands on vets/farrier . Followed all the advice, she was on her second set of those 'special' shoes and nearing the time for x rays to see if they'd worked and i got home from work one day and she was holding her foot up off the floor. That decided it for me. I had been warned i may have to let her go when the ems was diagnosed and i was so worried about knowing when the time was right..i needn't have. This is like therapy...blubbering mess right now . i loved that horse soo much , no horse will ever replace her, Have since taken in Bess from a rescue centre and she is so alike Zo it's uncanny ,colour , markings and personality . I like to think Zo sent her my way ( or me her way) saying she'll look after you and just let her buy those rugs ( she has a problem but just humour her ) x
 
With my mare I 'clicked' straight away, but she is a very strong minded, opinionated, independent and doesn't trust easily, she is pleasant to handle and ride even if you don't have a bond with her, but it has taken me 2 years to get to the stage with her were she will whinny at me when I turn up, and leave the herd to come and see me, and she is actually very affectionate now, but it has taken 2 years with a lot of ups and downs to get to this point :)
 
I was thinking about this earlier today. I have started sharing a friends horse and I am we'll aware she knows her inside out and I barely do. However I like her very much, more than any other mare I've ridden as I've always been a gelding kinda person. I do however think that once you bond with a mare then that bond is really very strong. Not that it's not with a gelding.

We seem to have a mutual understanding at the moment to just take each other as we are, if that makes sense. She seems very accepting of me in an 'ok Jo if you want to go on then' and I know I'm very different to her owner in my approach to things (in a good way I think we'll compliment each others approach). I'm looking forward to getting to know her.
 
i reckon 5 yrs! my mare is very independent, only interested in people when they have food for her! but she wont come to randoms even if they have treats! im saying 5 yrs coz I think it was that long before I could trust her to not drop me on floor when she felt like it! she used to bolt a lot and after about 5yrs I gave in to the first and just let her get it out of her system! now she is the most perfect horse in the world, ever! 13 yrs on!!
 
I've had my newest one for a year and I think over the last couple of months the foundations have been built for what I hope will be a good strong relationship but we will be 'building' that bond for a fair while yet.
 
It took a very long time with my lad, mainly because he is a worrier and did not cope with the change of home at all well. I started to stable him at night and do things with him to gain his trust, and this helped enormously. Just spent time with him grooming, getting him used to bags, ropes and other scary stuff. He soon learnt to look to me for help in times of need.
 
A year with my gelding, I've had him 15 months now ! My Connie gelding, honestly about 1 month- he's a very easy going friendly chap and never makes anything difficult. I don't think I've ever properly bonded with my mare after 6 years even though I love her to bits and we manage to get on ok , we just don't gel as she's stubborn and so am I !
 
I got my first horse last July and I knew 'to take it easy and not rush things'. Everyone said it will take a year at least to get that relationship. Ten months in, the day I really knew I had that 'bond' was the day I knew he had to be pts. I walked into the yard and saw him standing there, not himself, that look in his eye was not there, and he didn't move to come and greet me. He had acute grass sickness and that was that. The connection I had at that moment will never leave me as indeed Archie never leaves me. But, he taught me that sharing my life with a horse is such a privilege that I have a new lad. I've had him 5 weeks and am doing more with him, feel more confident and learning more about him than I did at this point with first boy. Each horse/relationship is going to be different. There's no set time and one day, you'll just know and from that moment in time, it will never leave you regardless of whether they are physically with you or not. Good luck and enjoy getting to know each other as it will last a lifetime once reached.
 
Worldiscomplete i both cried and smiled at your post. What you found in archie is the bond the love the understanding and i cried for you but you have "discovered"so muchand your words are so true .We are priviledged and from that we discover new relationships with horses. thank you for sharing thank you for making me realise i need another "baby" in my life. not Baby but another to enjoy love teach and feel alive again. x
 
With my big horse, I had him for 4 months and things where rapidly going downhill, we didn't trust each other ridden wise and I thought it was best he went to someone more experienced, so he went to a competition rider and they have formed a great partnership. He was the sweetest horse to handle but just wasn't for me.

My little one I will have had a year in December, and only really in these last couple of months have we finally fully formed a relationship. The first 6 months/winter I had him he really tested me both on the ground and ridden. At some points I was so close to giving up but I'm glad I stuck with it as he is a fantastic little horse.
 
Around a year, year and a half to start to feel like we were gelling together, but didn't properly "click" until about year 3. When box rested for 8 months, that really helped things.
 
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