how quickly would you ? possible difficult subject

Purple18

Purple18

Well-Known Member
Joined
12 January 2013
Messages
408
Visit site
Hi everyone

Just a freind of a friend

had their horse pts last friday and have had their new horse bought to their yard today

Personally i think it's too soon I would want time to grieve the lost of the horse i just lost it wouldn't feel right

so the question is..
How quickly would you buy another horse after having a horse pts ?
 
Last edited:
It depends on the person really. When my TB was PTS, I didn't have a break from horses at all because I have to look after my others. It was hard, but that's how it was.
 
Purple18 said:
Hi everyone

Just a freind of a friend

had their horse pts last friday and have had their new horse bought to their yard today

Personally i think it's too soon

so the question is..
How quickly would you buy another horse after having a horse pts ?
Click to expand...

Personally I think it is none of your business.
 
I think it's unkind to be judgemental about it.

Sometimes it helps people cope to have a new horse to focus on.
 
Disagree, just because they have a new horse doesnt mean they have forgotten about their old one
the new horse will prob take their mind off the grief of losing the old one.
 
I started looking the day after.

I can't not have a riding horse in my life, it is too much a part of me.

Hopefully my new girl will be joining my family next week (pending vetting), which will be 2 months 1 week after Pinto was PTS.

Titine is certainly not a replacement, nothing could replace Pinto, but she will begin to fill the void that Pinto left behind.
 
My new horse arrived 4 days after having previous one put down, having agreed a price several days prior.
 
You'll never know how you'll feel until you go through it. I too think it is a bit nasty to judge someone. Unless they had their horse PTS just so they could replace it!
 
Why would it be too soon? if the person feels they need another to fill the gap left then thats fine and if they feel they need to wait x weeks or months thats fine as well
 
I'm not sure what I would do really but I think a new horse would help you not to get depressed over the loss of one. I don't think we need to be harsh on op,she is just voicing her opinion and asking for ours :)
 
Can't go by horse, but I don't think I could have got a new cat right away.
Though people are different, I guess some want time to grieve and others want to fill the gap asap.
 
I think there is no hard and fast rule, it is like with many things, sometimes it can be sudden, but it can also be completely right. On the flip side, emotionally speaking it could be too soon. I bought 3 months after losing my beloved horse of a lifetime, I found it very hard to adjust to a new horse, and I do not think it was necessarily due to the time that had passed.

What I am trying to say is that if its right and very soon, so be it, only time tells with these things often. Really does depend on so many things, but I do not think any one should feel bad or be judged for buying another soon after the loss, does not make the lost horse any less important or forgotten. I desperately wanted another horse to love asap, I took out a loan to buy mine too, all sounds a bit rushed perhaps and maybe not terribly sensible but there are no hard and fast rules imho
 
Last edited:
It is a difficult subject.

When I was 16 the horse I loved was PTS (not my horse and I had no say in it) and I did not ride again for 25 years. I was appalled that the horse's owner got another within a couple of weeks.

Now I would probably get another quite quickly. I am fond of my horses but I dont love them the same way I loved him. Thats my story, and everyone's will be different. It doesnt stop the rest of us having an opinion.
 
Horses are hugely time-consuming and if you lose one suddenly, you find yourself with loads of spare time to think. Like others have said, try not to judge as she won't be replacing her previous horse, just the time aspect.
 
Oberon said:
I think it's unkind to be judgemental about it.

Sometimes it helps people cope to have a new horse to focus on.
Click to expand...

Indeed. I had my current horse within a couple of weeks of suddenly losing my old boy. I still had daughters and OH' s to see to and ride but it wasn't enough. So I bought myself a total project and distracted myself. I adore my horse, but I'll never forget my previous one.
 
Purple18 said:
Hi everyone

Just a freind of a friend

had their horse pts last friday and have had their new horse bought to their yard today

Personally i think it's too soon I would want time to grieve the lost of the horse i just lost it wouldn't feel right

so the question is..
How quickly would you buy another horse after having a horse pts ?
Click to expand...

How long had the horse been ill or pensioned off?
 
When I had my old girl pts last year I was immensely grateful to have my youngster to get me through it. I don't know what I would of done without her :(
 
It is absolutely no one's business or right to judge their timescale. I lost my pony, and was looking for a new one 3 days later. My sister's pony was PTS and within days she'd been found a new one.

Love isn't limited, there's no set amount you can give out. If they lost a horse and saw another they felt they could love and care for as well, then they did absolutely the right thing for them in going out and buying it.
 
I think caring for something is part of our being for some people. I have had horses for most of my adult life and at the moment have 10+ I care about all of them and would miss any of them but getting another one for what ever the reason does mean I would care for the others less. I have just taken on a rescue pony, this does not mean that its 24yr old companion is loved less.
 
when i lost mine i already had another but i sent her away on the sme day as i couldnt look at another horse

i regret that and wish i had kept her with me.... but no=one can judge when your not in their shoes....


i will never replace the mare i lost - but i can move on with another horse
 
A horse can leave a massive gap in a person's life, think of the many hours spent at the yard, and how we organise the rest of our lives to accommodate this, and then to suddenly lose that... I have known people who have known when their horse will be pts and have lined up a replacement beforehand, and I can totally understand why they do it too, I've never got the feeling they didn't love or miss the horse they lost, and I think it's nice that another horse has the chance to have a lovely home, so I wouldn't judge.
 
Everyone is different. It's 2 months since I lost my beautiful mare and I am nowhere near ready for another one plus we already have 3 others to look after. I don't have the same bond with the others.
Probably just as well I don't feel ready as also just lost my job this week. Been a s**t year so far.:(
 
Horses are a lifestyle and a huge part of our everyday lives, I would find it very hard not to have the routine and would almost definitely become more depressed than if I had another horse to see to. I have a horse and a pony, so it would still be part of my life, and I don't think I could make a decision on a long term prospect straight away, but I think I might be likely to take on another in the form of a project and see how it went.

I don't think it would be possible to replace your 'perfect' horse in a short time at all, but a project has low expectations from the off.
 
justabob said:
Personally I think it is none of your business.
Click to expand...
And I don't think I deserve such a rude comment. I'm asking what other people would do. I'm not questioning her choice in actions.
Oberon said:
I think it's unkind to be judgemental about it.

Sometimes it helps people cope to have a new horse to focus on.
Click to expand...
When in anything I put say i was being judgemental ? It got me thinking and i wondered what peoples opinions were on it it's the ladies choice she can do as she likes.
cptrayes said:
How long had the horse been ill or pensioned off?
Click to expand...

masses found that would have ruptured and caused life threating bleeds
 
Last edited:
I am sure that they are having a tough enough time dealing with this without having to deal with nasty judgemental people talking behind their backs.

If you think it is too soon fine. It isn't your horse. When you are in that situation you get to chose the timescale. Until then BUTT OUT
 
Kat.

I'm not being judgemental in anyway I have said my opinon and am asking for other people veiws on what the subject. The sitaution got me thinking that's alll no need to bite my head off :)

Yes they can do what they like iv'e never said they didn't ?
 
Last edited:
I have only had one horse but with cats and dogs, I have got another one immediately the last one has died. Never made me forget the ones I had lost - still remember them on a very regular basis but I didn't want the hole in my life.

With dogs, I love to walk and it felt even sadder to carry on without a companion. I should imagine with a horse, the hole is even bigger as they take up so much time and energy.

I find it far easier to cope with sadness in small steps while I am keeping active and engaged. I don't like to wallow and engulf myself in grief.

People are all different.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top