How to be less wet around horses...and in general...?

I agree all the excellent advice and just wanted to add - you need a nice big bar of chocolate/glass of wine to celebrate your achievements thus far (horse is sound and you are getting on with it and dealing with your issues together). Well done! That's further than some of us get.
Regarding other people walking all over you, I highly recommend listening to a little song called DILLIGAF. Memorize it and sing it (in your head) every time someone behaves in an inconsiderate manner towards you. It makes me feel a tiny bit more empowered and makes me smile to myself. But then, I do have a childish sense of humour.
Celebrate every achievement and try to view every set back as an amazing opportunity for training and learning and remember that you are an amazing person!
 
I would definitely try and find someone to hack out with, just to get you, and keep you going. Another horse will work wonders, and once you both gain confidence you can split up, go in front / behind.
Please do try to not beat yourself up xxx
 
When I had surgery on my nose I turned into a physical coward and found riding my steady old ISH scary. It wore off. When Quigley got spooked by two military jets screaming overhead (low level flying practice here on Dartmoor) and damaged my rotator cuff I got nervous if he was a bit spooky. It wore off. The root of your hacking issue may be that you are recovering from a bad accident and subliminally you are protecting yourself from further injury. Cod science bit over.
 
Quigleyandme said:
The root of your hacking issue may be that you are recovering from a bad accident and subliminally you are protecting yourself from further injury. Cod science bit over.
Click to expand...
Good post, Q&M. IME It's normal to get nervous and defensive around horses when nursing an injury, not least because I know if I'm not as agile as usual I could get splatted accidentally on the ground. It's happened to me enough times to know that it wears off as I recover. The original injury does not even need to have been a horse related one.
 
catembi said:
I bought an ID as I wanted jumping performance without too much attitude, but she is very strong & opinionated with no ground manners. She has had a lot of change - over from Ireland, 6 weeks at a busy comp centre, then here, introduced to Shetland friend, new New Forest pony, moved from field to field as the fencing gets underway, new stable block, various ver investigations so she's entitled to feel unsettled. But...it's supposed to be fun, and everything feels like such an uphill struggle. And it's just me here on my own. O/h is non horsey and doesn't like them.

...
Click to expand...

OP I'm not mocking you but I did chuckle when I read this bit. "so she is entitled to feel unsettled" ... Erm no she isnt, she is entitled to hold her **** together and be mannerly and respectful of what you are asking her! ;)

Glad the hack went well and confidence is up. Cant add to the already great advise you have had :) Good luck :)
 
Well, we had a 20 min schooling session in the littlies' turnout pen (currently NOT full off littlies) this morning. It was too tiny to do much, but it achieved 'normalising' coming in, tacking up, doing some work, going back out, got my bum in the saddle etc etc, so all good. Went 120% fine. I need to scour the property to see if there is any flattish area that I could possibly use as a school until I get planning approval & school. The area where it's going is currently in need of clearing (i.e. needs heavy machinery) so I can't just mark out a school there. Will have to have a wander round at lunchtime.
 
Antw23uk said:
OP I'm not mocking you but I did chuckle when I read this bit. "so she is entitled to feel unsettled" ... Erm no she isnt, she is entitled to hold her **** together and be mannerly and respectful of what you are asking her! ;)
Click to expand...

I do think that the OP is right to acknowledge all that has happened with this mare in a short space of time.
Yes, ideally the horse should remember to be mannerly, but at the same time she's just an animal who doesn't understand that she's now with her new human in her new home and this is where she's going to stay. For all she knows, there's more change around the corner, based on the last few months. It's sensible to understand where some of the difficulties are stemming from.

Glad to hear you've had a good experience today, C :)

FWIW my reaction on reading your OP was firstly "cut yourself some slack" and then - yes, it does sound like you need to learn how to address behavioural mis-steps, even if they are quite minor it just makes horses nicer to deal with when they understand how to get into their "box" and wait for instructions: not wriggle at the mounting block etc. You don't have to have a big bust up over it but the horse needs to know that it should prioritise your instructions, particularly when it's in a familiar environment with no "excuses" ;)

Keep on keeping on :) little steps, repetition of good experiences and gentle stretching of the comfort zones of you both and you'll look back in 12 months and see how far you've come :)
 
milliepops said:
I do think that the OP is right to acknowledge all that has happened with this mare in a short space of time.
Yes, ideally the horse should remember to be mannerly, but at the same time she's just an animal who doesn't understand that she's now with her new human in her new home and this is where she's going to stay. For all she knows, there's more change around the corner, based on the last few months. It's sensible to understand where some of the difficulties are stemming from.

Glad to hear you've had a good experience today, C :)

FWIW my reaction on reading your OP was firstly "cut yourself some slack" and then - yes, it does sound like you need to learn how to address behavioural mis-steps, even if they are quite minor it just makes horses nicer to deal with when they understand how to get into their "box" and wait for instructions: not wriggle at the mounting block etc. You don't have to have a big bust up over it but the horse needs to know that it should prioritise your instructions, particularly when it's in a familiar environment with no "excuses" ;)

Keep on keeping on :) little steps, repetition of good experiences and gentle stretching of the comfort zones of you both and you'll look back in 12 months and see how far you've come :)
Click to expand...

Great advice as usual MP.
 
I'm far too soft with mine as well and it's actually something I've been mindful of the last few months. I can definitely be far TOO mindful of them and make excuses for why they might be doing XYZ, when actually, sometimes they should just bloody well do as you say.

I know for a fact I don't push my horses hard enough physically as I don't want them to be tired, get bored, and so on and so forth...!
 
I think there's a fine line, isn't there, esp as an amateur rider doing it for fun. I know I'm guilty of not pushing my newbie - dammit I've had her for 10 months now, she's not new any more, lol! When I take her for lessons she has to work for the full time and suck it up. At home, I think - oh, she's getting weary, let's wind down. And have to give myself a kick up the bum, I want her to be a competition horse so she will only get fitter to the work by doing a little bit more, each time, even if she's tired she can still have a go.

Same with ground manners etc. I think I have a good balance with mine, they know the boundaries they can push and the ones that are absolute. Stand still while I get on: absolute. Likewise, never bite or kick me. Have a gentle rummage in my pocket for a polo: that one is a bit fuzzy. But putting the boundaries in place is just making new habits really, you have to train yourself first and foremost, to always notice when the horse pushes into your space, or fidgets when you'd really rather it didn't, and so on. If you don't train yourself to be totally consistent on things like that then it's pointless trying to teach the horse :D If you can make a new habit to always correct the little things, then it becomes effortless like a reflex. And then the horses also always know how you will behave too, which I think helps them to be relaxed and happy around you.
 
I would add to all the rest, that.... your mare WILL be feeling unsettled, and she will be looking for someone to trust, who can deal with all the scary stuff and make her feel safe. That 'someone' needs to be you! She's bolshy 'cos someone needs to take charge, and if you won't, she'll have to. That's the way of the herd. But really, she'd prefer you did it, so she pushes and pushes, waiting for you to go ENOUGH!!!! and take over.

My husband got a new horse recently. He's a gentle man who'd never say boo to a goose and hates confrontation. Then suddenly he had this young, unsettled horse who needed a leader and was being very bolshy and not at all fun. I bought him Klaus Ferdinand Hempfling's book and showed him the leading techniques from there. They are calm and gentle and there's no force or confrontation - but they work! Within a day he was in charge again, and very very soon there was no issue and all was well. Equally importantly, the two of them had built a bond. His horse comes to call now, and follows him around like a shadow. He does as he is told, and is keen to please. There's more than one way to be 'in charge' - you just need to find one that works for you!
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top