How to deal with new people on the yard that you really don’t wanna interact with !

[Mary3050]

Hi guys ,

So I am leaving the yard I am currently at soon hopefully another 2 weeks if all goes well . But there be a whole bunch of new livery’s arriving over the last few weeks . Mid week two of the people I am closest with left . Meaning 3 stables free so new people will be arriving . I just really don’t wanna interact with the new livery’s that are already here .

Mainly because they aren’t my type of people. I am at the point where I just don’t want to deal with them . Apparently one said I was being really frosty and unwelcoming but I am at the point where that many people come and go schoolers that I dunno who’s staying . I am usually a person who I can make convo with anyone even if there not my type of people. But I am really struggling we are talking about 5 new horse and everyone seems to have 3 or 4 family members .
The one next to me I just don’t like and don’t feel like I should waste my time speaking to them . Even though I have never had a convo with them . They weren’t even hear 3 days and they made comments about my poor horse who’s ill and they way I “treat “ her . Because she difficult to catch in the stable when I syringe her medication . Then they keep running over into my school slots . Usually I wouldn’t bothered but when I am waiting 15 minutes into my 30 mins slots because she didn’t get from work on time and is still jumping . I don’t see how that my problem . Then yesterday my water buckets had soap in them . Because she used them to bath her horse . Then her stuff all in front of my stables too . There’s also kids running everywhere giving horse carrots without asking . Novice people that expect you to help them every 5 minuets because they can’t get a bridle on or rug or what ever else. We aren’t a riding school and the groom vanishes into thin air when they Arrive. There a group of teenagers who just sit in the tack room eating with a bunch of friends from different yards . Then when I am riding kids run in the school and when I am working a horse that’s been out of work and has a tendency to blow up bucking bolting kinda thing . They could get hurt . I explained this to the mother and the kids but they still do it. Currently the yard owner and I aren’t really speaking so that’s not an option.

How do I get through the next few weeks without seeming and massive bitch but having minimal interactions with them . God give me strength. Thanks guys

 

[Chuffy99]

Mmm, think you should read your post, think carefully about how you would respond if you read that post on here and act accordingly

 

[rextherobber]

Mmm, think you should read your post, think carefully about how you would respond if you read that post on here and act accordingly

Yes, it's horrible when you are the new person on the yard, and people are unfriendly, and how can you know you don't like someone you've never spoken to? Some of the other stuff is dangerous/annoying, but you're only there for another 14 days. Or speak to the YO, they are running a business, you are still a client...

 

[Mary3050]

[Content removed]

Wow so because I am to busy taking care of my sick horse who has been very unwell and I don’t have time to tack there horse up for them . That makes me vile . Rude

 

[BaronSamedi]

Wow so because I am to busy taking care of my sick horse who has been very unwell and I don’t have time to tack there horse up for them . That makes me vile . Rude

No dear, you are rude. Politeness costs nothing and yet you don’t even have the decency for that

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Those things do sound quite annoying (apart from the dig at novices - damned if they ask for help, damned if they dont) but if you only have a couple of weeks left to go why not just let it wash over a bit? It sounds like you've made your mind up in advance not to get on with anyone new so it might not be too surprising you're being seen as frosty and unwelcoming.

 

[BaronSamedi]

The one next to me I just don’t like and don’t feel like I should waste my time speaking to them . Even though I have never had a convo with them .

How do I get through the next few weeks without seeming and massive bitch but having minimal interactions with them . God give me strength. Thanks guys

Rude

 

[Mary3050]

Yes, it's horrible when you are the new person on the yard, and people are unfriendly, and how can you know you don't like someone you've never spoken to? Some of the other stuff is dangerous/annoying, but you're only there for another 14 days. Or speak to the YO, they are running a business, you are still a client...

I know but One next door they ignore us make comment to others about how I treat my horse . Who’s getting my whole attention . I just think when she never spoken to be and doesn’t know my horse or the situation . I don’t see why you would make such a rude comment . I have anxiety bad at the min so am not my normal self and hearing a comment like that made me go home and cry . So that the reason I haven’t spoken to them . Part of the reason haven’t spoken to other new people is because of this . Yep definitely like I just don’t want the kids to get hurt . 14 days feels a long time when all my friends have left and the yard owner is not great either . I have spoke to her but they are ignoring my messages

 

[holeymoley]

All you have to do is say hi with or without a smile and leave it at that.

 

[Mary3050]

Those things do sound quite annoying (apart from the dig at novices - damned if they ask for help, damned if they dont) but if you only have a couple of weeks left to go why not just let it wash over a bit? It sounds like you've made your mind up in advance not to get on with anyone new so it might not be too surprising you're being seen as frosty and unwelcoming.

I didn’t mind until they didn’t say please or thank you . They also didn’t want to learn just expect you to tack up from them . The first few times I thought fine but the next time I said why don’t you give it a Go and give me a shout if you get stuck and I can check it for you before you get on . I am trying to avoid spreading myself to thinly as my horse had been very ill and I spend a lot of time concentrating on her . I usually don’t mind tbh I can usually get on with everyone am I more concerned with my horse than talking to people . Thanks

 

[Mary3050]

Rude

Yes because they where slagging me off a few days after they arrive the first time I meet them . Saying how awful it was that my horse was treated like that . Because she won’t be caught for her meds . Would you really wanna give someone the time of day . Who says that and doesn’t know you or your horse ?

 

[Mary3050]

All you have to do is say hi with or without a smile and leave it at that.

I do that most of the time but apparently that’s not enough . I don’t have time or energy for much more than that . They only one I haven’t said hey to is the one who made the comment about my poor horse .

 

[MollyFell]

Headphones on/AirPods in...quick smile and crack on with your jobs.

 

[Mary3050]

Mmm, think you should read your post, think carefully about how you would respond if you read that post on here and act accordingly

Thanks don’t think I am acting myself as I am under a lot of stress and pressure . Then add a sick horse in need of a lot of care on top . I just don’t think I have the time or energy to stand in the tack room chatting like the others do

 

[Mary3050]

Headphones on/AirPods in...quick smile and crack on with your jobs.

Thank you this is helpful and great advice . Why do I never think of headphones . ?

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I didn’t mind until they didn’t say please or thank you . They also didn’t want to learn just expect you to tack up from them . The first few times I thought fine but the next time I said why don’t you give it a Go and give me a shout if you get stuck and I can check it for you before you get on . I am trying to avoid spreading myself to thinly as my horse had been very ill and I spend a lot of time concentrating on her . I usually don’t mind tbh I can usually get on with everyone am I more concerned with my horse than talking to people . Thanks

Then just crack on with what you have to do?

Eta sorry that might have come across more blunt than I wanted. The headphones thing is a good idea.

 

[Mary3050]

Then just crack on with what you have to do?

Thanks I am trying but apparently it’s makes me a bitch . Maybe I am just caring to much . Thanks

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

Thanks I am trying but apparently it’s makes me a bitch . Maybe I am just caring to much . Thanks

You can't have it both ways I dont think, that might be the dilemma. If you dont want to/are unable to have any time for people then no you probably arent coming across as very friendly.

 

[Sail_away]

I would leave well alone as much as you can, have a friendly smile, help the novices if you have time and relax with the knowledge that none of it will be your problem in a couple of weeks.
Having said that, some of the things you’re annoyed about I’ve always considered general yard things. I’ve never minded being asked for help, I never expect sole use of the school so if someone’s in there I’ll just go about my schooling or hack until it’s empty. And people always talk on big yards - frankly I just accept that some people can’t seem to cope without a gossip so I don’t really care if I hear it. If people are talking about you, does it really matter? It may be unpleasant but if their opinion doesn’t matter to you then neither should any of their gossip.

 

[Mary3050]

You can't have it both ways I dont think, that might be the dilemma. If you dont want to/are unable to have any time for people then no you probably arent coming across as very friendly.

Thanks I guess that’s probably something I haven’t considered. Like I said I never normally have this issue . But I guess it comes down to I have a lot going on and am pushed for time . Thanks

 

[Mary3050]

I would leave well alone as much as you can, have a friendly smile, help the novices if you have time and relax with the knowledge that none of it will be your problem in a couple of weeks.
Having said that, some of the things you’re annoyed about I’ve always considered general yard things. I’ve never minded being asked for help, I never expect sole use of the school so if someone’s in there I’ll just go about my schooling or hack until it’s empty. And people always talk on big yards - frankly I just accept that some people can’t seem to cope without a gossip so I don’t really care if I hear it. If people are talking about you, does it really matter? It may be unpleasant but if their opinion doesn’t matter to you then neither should any of their gossip.

Defo counting down the days . I am happy to share but then the yard owner brought in a booking system and you have to book your slots . But they told me to wait outside they needed a few more minutes. I waited 5 minutes . They said they need to go around one more time . I said okay can I get on she was like not really as I need all the school . At 15 mins into my slot . I just said I am sorry but I only have 15 mins left and need to work my horse. I can’t hack my crazy coming back into work mare . I may die ? . I will just have to remember that I am lucky but I never usually have any issues .

 

[Abby-Lou]

Good morning, Right Im done off now, its such a short time before you are off smile through it.

 

[sunnyone]

With regard to them over-running their schooling time, could you not give them 3 or 4 minutes and then simply ride, or even lead yours in? Horses that are shown in hunter classes and the like have to be able to deal with others in the ring, doing different things to them. If the new comers complain say you are using their over-running as a learning opportunity for your horse.
As for tacking up others horses I'd say: I'm busy for the next 10 minutes or so, but if you still haven't found the groom after that then come back. Chances are they won't..

 

[Mary3050]

With regard to them over-running their schooling time, could you not give them 3 or 4 minutes and then simply ride, or even lead yours in? Horses that are shown in hunter classes and the like have to be able to deal with others in the ring, doing different things to them. If the new comers complain say you are using their over-running as a learning opportunity for your horse.
As for tacking up others horses I'd say: I'm busy for the next 10 minutes or so, but if you still haven't found the groom after that then come back. Chances are they won't..

Thanks I have no issues sharing but she was jumping a said that we would be in the way . I think next time I will just say look sorry your 5 mins over your more than welcome to stay in with me ? Thanks I will do that with the new bees . I really like how the groom sees them pull up and disappears even I don’t know where she goes . I guess really it’s bad on her to do that to them .

 

[Flowerofthefen]

It sounds to me as though you are suffering with everything being so stressful. It's been a hard year on everyone. Things that probably wouldn't normally be an issue are blown out of all proportion. There are some great suggestions. You only have 2 weeks. Pop your ear phones in, sing along and smile if you see someone. Tack up for your time slot and go to school. Give them a minute or 2 then mount up with a smile and a pat for your horse. Hope you can relax a little over the next few weeks as the last thing you need is you being ill as well!

 

[lannerch]

You only have 2weeks left there why do you care at all what others think or say, just get on with your life, do your horse, and stop worrying. Any inconvenience is only temporary, and soon will be a distant memory.

 

[Pinkvboots]

You only have 2weeks left there why do you care at all what others think or say, just get on with your life, do your horse, and stop worrying. Any inconvenience is only temporary, and soon will be a distant memory.

This it's 2 weeks if it's really so bad avoid going down when they are there so you don't have to see them,

 

[ILuvCowparsely]

Hi guys ,

So I am leaving the yard I am currently at soon hopefully another 2 weeks if all goes well . But there be a whole bunch of new livery’s arriving over the last few weeks . Mid week two of the people I am closest with left . Meaning 3 stables free so new people will be arriving . I just really don’t wanna interact with the new livery’s that are already here .

Mainly because they aren’t my type of people. I am at the point where I just don’t want to deal with them . Apparently one said I was being really frosty and unwelcoming but I am at the point where that many people come and go schoolers that I dunno who’s staying . I am usually a person who I can make convo with anyone even if there not my type of people. But I am really struggling we are talking about 5 new horse and everyone seems to have 3 or 4 family members .
The one next to me I just don’t like and don’t feel like I should waste my time speaking to them . Even though I have never had a convo with them . They weren’t even hear 3 days and they made comments about my poor horse who’s ill and they way I “treat “ her . Because she difficult to catch in the stable when I syringe her medication . Then they keep running over into my school slots . Usually I wouldn’t bothered but when I am waiting 15 minutes into my 30 mins slots because she didn’t get from work on time and is still jumping . I don’t see how that my problem . Then yesterday my water buckets had soap in them . Because she used them to bath her horse . Then her stuff all in front of my stables too . There’s also kids running everywhere giving horse carrots without asking . Novice people that expect you to help them every 5 minuets because they can’t get a bridle on or rug or what ever else. We aren’t a riding school and the groom vanishes into thin air when they Arrive. There a group of teenagers who just sit in the tack room eating with a bunch of friends from different yards . Then when I am riding kids run in the school and when I am working a horse that’s been out of work and has a tendency to blow up bucking bolting kinda thing . They could get hurt . I explained this to the mother and the kids but they still do it. Currently the yard owner and I aren’t really speaking so that’s not an option.

How do I get through the next few weeks without seeming and massive bitch but having minimal interactions with them . God give me strength. Thanks guys

Okay

Firstly you need to speak to yard owner about your issues with the time slots an stuff in front of your stable.

Second get a sign made up for your stable and say box rest do not feed horse treats as they are on a special diet.

Thirdly Be polite and just give a smile or a Hi to anyone and if they rude or sarcastic ignore it, be the bigger person or you will be brought down to their level.

Fourth. Regarding your horses care, I sympathise, my late mare was on box rest 1 .1/2 year. Next door yard went as far as reporting me to WHW ( who did nothing as my vet said she was under vet care and we spent £ 10.000 trying to save her. ) snide remarks saying I should pts. Yes it hurt and angered me, and one woman I still ignore. I now will smile and make convo but inside is a different matter.

New mare is on her 5th Month box rest (check ligament and collateral ligament). My mare has been gd but very spooky, sharp and explosive, half rearing and bucking which she normally does not do, when riding out as she still cannot turnout. Even though well meaning liveries say just put her out in coral. I wont because if it goes pear shaped my insurance wont pay.

Trouble is by being rude or ignoring, the horse world is small, and you may come across some of these people in future yard, or they end up being your yard owner, you never now.

I would say "I appreciate your input, but we have matters in hand and thank you for caring" and leave it like that. Any rude comments just walk away ..........................

 

[CanteringCarrot]

There are people I don't care to interact with at the yard, mostly because I'm not there for the social aspect. I just say Hi and entertain short small talk and get on with what I'm doing. Only takes a few seconds out of my day.

No one asks me to do anything for them though as most of us are quite independent. Or some just don't care if they're doing it right or wrong ?‍

If we had set times for the school and someone went over their time, I would just say this is now my reserved time, if you need a few extra minutes feel free to ride around me. Not my problem if they were late.

Another thing that I do (as my devil horns expose themselves) is if someone is chatting or whispering about how I do something, I ask them if they would like to try to do it better, or to show me how they would do it. I've not had anyone take me up on the offer yet ?

 

[sport horse]

Gosh - I bet that not only are you looking froward to going to your new yard but I guess the liveries where you are leaving will have a party to celebrate the event.