holeymoley
Well-Known Member
These are genius answers! ? are yous sure none of you have done this before....
How to dispose of the body...
- Thread starter blitznbobs
- Start date
ycbm
Einstein would be proud of my Insanity...
cobgoblin
Bugrit! Millennium hand and shrimp.
blitznbobs
Well-Known Member
I have 2 of those that would probably work...
Bob notacob
Well-Known Member
Ive got two. Whenever someone comes into the yard and sees them they invriably comment on body disposal options.Surely disposing of a ragwort enabler is covered under the same legislation as growing the damn stuff. Locally we are planning mass executions of woodland trust members for growing the damn weed on their "Centenary woodland"
Bob notacob
Well-Known Member
Blood eagle him and then feed him to a cob
Bob notacob
Well-Known Member
Gota remove the teeth .
scruffyponies
Well-Known Member
You people are terrifying!! 
blitznbobs
Well-Known Member
He bought me a take away so he survived the night (yes I am that cheap)
rara007
Well-Known Member
I hear sardine oil and tigers are pretty good.
SpotsandBays
Well-Known Member
I would pull all of the plants and make him eat them all. Ragwort soup, ragwort stew, ragwort and Bolognese. Ragwort fajitas. Teach him the lesson, snuffing him won’t make him learn, he’ll do it in the afterlife too! ?
Baywonder
Well-Known Member
suebou
Well-Known Member
The biomass discussion started with two teenage daughters for each of three of us, and a lifelong vow to provide an alibi.........
Luckily for all daughters, they’ve mostly grown out of it now!
Luckily for all daughters, they’ve mostly grown out of it now!
Pedantic
Well-Known Member
Under the Muck heap, rot down nicely
fabbydo
Well-Known Member
The best way to dispose of a body is to put diving weights on it and put it in a swamp. You do have to cut the guts open first though otherwise the gases it produces makes it rise to the top. Hope that helps ?
Sleipnir
Well-Known Member
I was coming to suggest the same thing! However, if all the right aspects fall together and the body eventually sinks into a peat layer, you could get yourself a perfectly preserved bog mummy, which poses a whole new array of problems if you haven't remove everything that could help identify the corpse - like teeth, fingerprints, hair, clothes...and then there's still the DNA which is nice and processable in a mummy thanks to modern technologies.
To those who suggest burning/ragwort pyres - you still have to dispose of the teeth and any burnt bone fragments after that, as it's very hard to completely burn through the nones. You might want to shatter some of the bigger ones beforehand (like hip bones and skull), but it's messy and you'd have to be extremely careful as if where the blood splatter goes. Not worth it, IMO.
A biomasas incernator + pulverizing all the bony remains and spreading the dust across a field - now, that would surely work, as long as you keep your scene clean and tidy. Good luck!
Annagain
Well-Known Member
There was a case locally where a woman had been missing for over 20 years. Her husband had been convicted of her murder but refused to tell anyone where her body was. In the 2018 heatwave the local reservoir got so low, her body was found in the middle tied to several large concrete blocks. The water had preserved her so well the police were able to indentify her straight away.
FinnishLapphund
There's no cow on the ice
Poor woman. I hope that her other relatives, and friends, at least felt they got a closure.
FinnishLapphund
There's no cow on the ice
Feels a bit morbid to post this after Annagain have posted about a real case, but according to what I've heard, you can skip the part about cutting the gut open, if you wrap chicken net around the body + weights. The theory was that you needed less weights to counteract the buoyancy of the gases, because the holes in the net allows the gas to escape.
FinnishLapphund
There's no cow on the ice
I can't help but wonder if your OH was aware about the replies on this thread, when he decided to buy you take away?
Tiddlypom
Carries on creakily
Also the Lady in the Lake who was found in Coniston Water in 1997 by amateur divers, 21 years after she went missing. She had been weighted down with rocks and lead pipes.
It was the husband wot did it.
So maybe not a lake or a swamp.
Silver Clouds
Well-Known Member
At least I now know which forum to turn to for advice when I want to dispose of a body, you lot think of everything... Top marks for creativity though, I'd only got as far as thinking about pigs or an incinerator/large bonfire
FinnishLapphund
There's no cow on the ice
Probably better with the sea, more fish that might nibble away the evidence.
Steerpike
Well-Known Member
Bodies can float even with weights, we used to get cases come in from the Thames with untold amount of chains and locks on, it's amazing how much a body expands with gas, and it takes a long time for fish to eat a whole body ??
cobgoblin
Bugrit! Millennium hand and shrimp.
The gas is inside the body, so the chicken wire wouldn't make any difference. I'd stick with cutting the guts open.
.
COldNag
Wasting my time successfully....
*memo to self to bookmark this thread for possible future use*
Sleipnir
Well-Known Member
You can also always throw a great ol' BBQ and chilli con carne party for the neighbourhood and let them help getting rid of the evidence.
(Sorry if this is too dark, but eh - there are actual cases of this in criminal history!)
(Sorry if this is too dark, but eh - there are actual cases of this in criminal history!)
Shilasdair
Patting her thylacine
May I recommend Loch Lomond for body disposal? It's so deep and therefore cold/lacking oxygen that bodies don't decompose - so no gases, no bobbing inconveniently to the surface.
So I've heard.
So I've heard.
Sleipnir
Well-Known Member
Yes, but then they can be inconveniently found, hanging out there, being all non-decomposed and identifiable!
Shilasdair
Patting her thylacine
500 feet down?