How to dispose of the body...

[blitznbobs]

Last week my husband walked our fields. We have 5 separately fences fields 2 of which have not been used for horses at all this year... on his return I asked specifically if there was any ragwort down there.. nah didn’t see any came the reply ...

today I looked across the fields and spotted the tell tale yellow ball of flowers so picked up my handy rag fork and went to get it... it turned in to they ... there was a HUGE patch of plants down in the lower paddocks... Took me 2 1/2 hours to clear it all.

So I am planning my Husbands murder - just need your assistance on where to dispose of the corpse..

pimms and scones for those who help and have read this far.

 

[HeyMich]

Under a huge pile of pulled ragwort, surely? Possibly with a little bit of well rotted manure on top, for good measure? Poor man....

 

[Sukistokes2]

Does anyone locally keep pigs ?

 

[ycbm]

Last week my husband walked our fields. We have 5 separately fences fields 2 of which have not been used for horses at all this year... on his return I asked specifically if there was any ragwort down there.. nah didn’t see any came the reply ...

today I looked across the fields and spotted the tell tale yellow ball of flowers so picked up my handy rag fork and went to get it... it turned in to they ... there was a HUGE patch of plants down in the lower paddocks... Took me 2 1/2 hours to clear it all.

So I am planning my Husbands murder - just need your assistance on where to dispose of the corpse..

pimms and scones for those who help and have read this far.

I don't know where to put the body, but surely the method of destruction should be to feed him it in a nice country vegetable soup?
.

 

[Gloi]

You should have given him the ragfork and frogmarched him down there

 

[Chinchilla]

Burn it along with the ragwort of course!!

 

[Lintel]

Knackersman? The hunt?
I don't think they are picky on what they collect ?

 

[cobgoblin]

Take up wild mushroom collecting, just be careful which ones are on your plate. No need to worry about disposal.

 

[Annagain]

Definitely the pigs. Just make sure you take his wedding ring off first as that will be all that's left. In fact, leave the ring on the kitchen table with a note saying he's running away to a new life so nobody wonders where he is.

 

[Hallo2012]

piggies

 

[Baywonder]

Under the patio is always a good option. Then you can sit on top of him, in a nice comfy lounger, eating scones and sipping Pimms. Just make sure the slabs are put back level, otherwise your lounger will be a bit wobbly...…..

 

[Cortez]

I think you're being a tad harsh. Try a compulsory visit to Spec Savers first?

 

[Cowpony]

Surely a pyre of ragwort would be the most suitable? No incriminating remains either

 

[dorsetladette]

Under the patio is always a good option. Then you can sit on top of him, in a nice comfy lounger, eating scones and sipping Pimms. Just make sure the slabs are put back level, otherwise your lounger will be a bit wobbly...…..

This but make sure his backside is sticking out so you can kick it every time you walk past

 

[Archangel]

Surely a pyre of ragwort would be the most suitable? No incriminating remains either

How positively Viking - perfect.

 

[suebou]

Seriously, a neighbour with a biomass boiler would work.......

 

[DiNozzo]

I think you're being a tad harsh. Try a compulsory visit to Spec Savers first?

Only in Barnard Castle though, no point going anywhere else to check your eyesight ?

 

[ROMANY 1959]

Lol.. you got a muck heap? do a nice back fill job. Sorted.

 

[FinnishLapphund]

My inner Viking thinks a ragwort pyre would be very suitable. (Cowpony

)

However, the smoke might attract interest from nosy neighbours (spoilsports). Reluctantly I have to admit that a plan B would be better. If you pulled up the ragwort with the roots, haven't that loosened up the soil making it much easier to digg up a hole of the required size?

In the small area where I bury my dead pets in the garden, grass grew so well on the soil on top of their dead bodies, that I decided to move most of my roses there maybe 15 years ago. Haven't needed to fertilize those roses since then, even though I haven't needed to bury any pets there for around 8 years or something like that.
So basically, you'd be doing your field a favour.

 

[SpeedyPony]

Mineshaft? Take him up on the moors for a nice picnic and "lose" him?

Take up wild mushroom collecting, just be careful which ones are on your plate. No need to worry about disposal.

I suggest inkcaps- just give him a nice glass of wine and abstain yourself... "but officer, we ate the same thing!"

 

[CMcC]

I am going to speak up in defence of said husband.

In my experience of Ragwort there is a sub-species that wasn’t there yesterday but is huge today, apparently grows overnight to at least 3 foot high. This is probably what he failed to spot.
The other sub-species is the “now you see it, now you don’t“ variety. Poo pick field see ragwort plants. Return to yard to collect ragfork and bag to gather the slaughtered yellow heads and it is has all disappeared.

 

[Reacher]

Feed him to a cob

 

[Chinchilla]

My inner Viking thinks a ragwort pyre would be very suitable. (Cowpony

)

However, the smoke might attract interest from nosy neighbours (spoilsports). Reluctantly I have to admit that a plan B would be better. If you pulled up the ragwort with the roots, haven't that loosened up the soil making it much easier to digg up a hole of the required size?

In the small area where I bury my dead pets in the garden, grass grew so well on the soil on top of their dead bodies, that I decided to move most of my roses there maybe 15 years ago. Haven't needed to fertilize those roses since then, even though I haven't needed to bury any pets there for around 8 years or something like that.
So basically, you'd be doing your field a favour.

My animal graveyard is the same, it needs weeding all the time.

Also off topic but
How are you doing ye olde forum style emojis please?

 

[COldNag]

Feed him to a cob

Yes, thought not much of a snack for your average cob. Might keep them going til lunch though.

Another vote for piggies. Get yourself a couple
Bonus is that you can benefit from the bacon later on. Recycling

 

[MrsMozartleto]

Have some lumpy dips in the field and a nice digger man who smiles sweetly and asks no questions...

Though quite liking the cob or piggies options

 

[luckyoldme]

Ive got a trailer with 22 ton of wood chip on heading for a power station in Scotland.
If you can get him shredded we might be able to arrange a cremation!

 

[thefarsideofthefield]

This but make sure his backside is sticking out so you can kick it every time you walk past

Handy place to park your bike too ?

 

[FinnishLapphund]

My animal graveyard is the same, it needs weeding all the time.

Also off topic but
How are you doing ye olde forum style emojis please?

I almost always have a tab with Cosgan.de smilies among my too many tabs.
https://www.cosgan.de/smilie.php?wahl=0&ziel=froehlich

When I need a smiley, I go to the Cosgan tab,
Click on the smiley I want to use,
Copy the url code at the bottom of the window,
Goes back to the HHO tab,
Check so the cursor is where I want the smiley,
Click the icon which looks like a postcard,
Click on the second symbol in the window which opened so a http:// box shows up,
Paste my Cosgan url code,
Click Insert:

It might seem like many steps back and forth, but I've been doing it for so many years, it usually doesn't feel as if it takes me much time.

If you don't like the Cosgan site, you could always google to see if you can find another free Copy and paste smiley or emoticon site which you like more, but Cosgan is the one I usually use.

 

[[139672]]

Epping Forest, where the Albert Square victims always end up! ?

 

[oldie48]

FFS , If you have an OH who will walk the fields looking for Ragwort, he's a keeper. Just find him a less important job, like maintaining the lorry. Or we do a swap. Mine is great at identifying ragwort but failed to notice one of my lorry tyres was coming apart, despite putting air in it after I told him lorry was pulling to the left! TBH \I think both of them need to go to Specsavers!