I don't know what to do...

bobajob said:
Sorry but please do not take this the wrong way. I am a bit long in the tooth and have had a life time of horses. If I could have my time over again and I was in the same boat as you I would have the horse pts.
You will be spending more money on a sale livery, more time and money trying to do it yourself and be honest with yourself do you really want to do this? Just move on and put it down to experience.
You sound really down at the whole job. Stand back and write down the plus and the cons of the horse.

Had a friend over for a few days, had a good chat over her horse and my horses and have agreed its time to call it a day. She is getting a young girl to take the management and the care of her horse on, with my friend overseeing this. I had three Stallions and down to two now, had one pts not long ago. My husband has offered to buy me another of the same breed but for once in my life I have said no. I do love my horses but I have lost that tingly feeling in my chest when I see horses, that longing I have always had, its gone. I will still keep my two lads but no more. Enjoy your youth and do not get burdened with something that can be sorted.
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Fml..... bobajob strikes again...
Your attitude to horse ownership actually boggles the mind. Im glad you declined your husbands offer!!!

OP, just bite the bullet, get her fit and sell her on. Dont just keep plodding on because you will always be thinking, what if? Take a break and then start looking again for your perfect match, there will be one out there for you :)
 
burtie said:
Actually I think Bobajob has a good point and some of you are being rather harsh.

It may not be what I would do, but let's remember we have an out of work mare, who has been out of work for some time due to a number of issues. The OP has rightly admitted she is almost worthless as is.

She has a few options, that includes selling livery or waiting until spring. Only the OP know if the mare is likely to now stay sound long enough to make her a marketable purchase.

Personally I would never sell a 'project' horse unless it was a youngster (under 7)as it rarely works out well for the horse IMHO.

If it where just a personality clash then of course you would not consider PTS, but in her current condition the mare has virtually zero commercial value (going from what we know only on this post and the OPs own admission). In those cases PTS is always an option, and often better that the alternative.
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I think we are getting things way out of proportion here. The mare has lost a few shoes! She has had an abscess. Jeez. We may as well all shoot our horses then if they even look at us funny. :rolleyes:
 
If you don't click,you don't click, just a pity you didn't realise it at the time,it could have saved you time and money. But agree with most people who have replied,advertise her or turn away for the winter and then restart in the spring. Mares are sensitive creatures, you give a little love and they respond.My old mare Angel was a living nightmare when I bought her, but in the 12 years I owned her, she trusted me and I trusted her, but she didn't trust anyone else which caused major problems at times.
 
Who cares if the horse is out of work, you can still enjoy them - that doesn't make them a project horse or worthy of being pts. Mine's out of work for the winter too, so what? Keeping horse isn't all about keeping them competition fit.:confused:
 
Blimey! Here you are being advised to put down a perfectly healthy and useful horse just because you don't get on with her: I've heard it all now! FGS, just sell her and go get one you DO like.
 
Batgirl said:
wow, pts because you don't click with a horse and don't enjoy her company? weird suggestion bobajob?? (then again IMO you often post slightly odd threads, always emphasising that you are in a position to do what you want with horses etcetc but quick to suggest pts, they are animals not toys ffs!, sorry for the sidetrack!)


If you can afford it sales livery is a good way to go if you want her schooled enough to sell on but be realistic about the amount it would add to her value versus the amount paid on livery.

When you say you have had depression but not like this it really suggests to me that you are very depressed. It would also seem that having a horse to own maybe doesn't suit you, you say you have had many on loan, perhaps this is the route to stick to if you can't mentally manage the idea of having a horse on and off work. Not saying this to be mean, I suffer from depression myself but my horse is one of the things that keeps me going and gives me a sense of control but this obviously isn't the case for you.
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Yes I can do what I want with my horses, I can buy more or get rid its my choice, but most of you on here are talking text book rather than experience. What if the horse was roughed off, schooled, sold or loaned. If it gets into the wrong hands it could cause alot of trouble.

This post is about this person wanting advice on what to do. I would certainly not keep a horse if it made me depressed and frightened of riding it.
I grew out of Follyfoot 40 years ago.
 
Toast said:
Fml..... bobajob strikes again...
Your attitude to horse ownership actually boggles the mind. Im glad you declined your husbands offer!!!

OP, just bite the bullet, get her fit and sell her on. Dont just keep plodding on because you will always be thinking, what if? Take a break and then start looking again for your perfect match, there will be one out there for you :)
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Its called experience love, something I see you do not have, yes I did turn down another Stallion through choice. I do not have horses as status symbols I have them because I like them, but there are more things to do in life. I was always a bit sad I had no one to ride with here but glad in a way as nothing has changed with the bitchy attitude I read by certain posters on here. Green eyed monsters everywhere i see.
 
TBH, I totally agree with both Bobajob and burtie especially with regard to the OP's health.

No horse on this earth is worth your bad health (and depression is bad health) and if you can't find a home for her in the immediate future then PTS has to be a better option for the mare than going to somewhere like Beeston sales.
 
it took me well over a year to click with my second horse, and once we did click, that was it.

It does take time, especially if the horse has been through a lot of upheaval. I was struggling to sell my chap, and decided to keep him through the winter and try again in spring, as I was spending more and more money on advertising him, but over the winter (I'd got him the previous January) there where some chinks, and we gradually started to like each other.

Nobody who knows us now would believe we where ever like this 10 years ago.
 
Wont even respond to Bobajob.
Op i do hope that you can find someone to help, it can be very disheartening . we bought a pony for my daughter three years ago who was great for her to ride and get her confidence back. He appeared to have little character and was a bit boring but after a year he changed completely and we love him to bits.

My son on the other hand also has another mare which was a rescue case and she has taken a dislike to me, I have done nothing but feed and look after her but she just doesnt like me. I had to stop dealing with her for a while as she is perfect with the kids and they get on fine with her
Try not to blame yourself it just happens sometimes, I would take the shoes off for a while and boot up when you need to do anything with her and see if this helps her feet.
 
OP I was given a horse when a friend of mine moved abroad, lovely boy never really put a foot wrong. I just didn't get on with riding him, pure personality clash (I always thought he was a mare in geldings clothing as he was too clever and highly sensitive to the point where he wouldn't listen and, rightly or wrongly, I like my horses to listen - for that reason I've never got on with mares)
Anyway long story short I wouldn't want to sell him as he's my responsibility so I put him out on loan. The lady that has him thinks the sun shines out of his bum and they are both very happy. i have owned him for 5 years now and still sit on him now and again and always hate it !
If you really don't enjoy riding her then I suspect trying to put lots of work in to get her going nicely to sell would be really difficult for you - although that is sensible advice.
If you have lots of spare cash selling livery might well be a way forward if you can get a personal recommendation from someone local.
If not, how about loaning her out as she is? If you are honest about her work/ fitness someone might be looking for something to get started with now with a view to competitions in the spring.
If you are worried about her feet you could offer to cover the cost of her shoes for the loaner for a while? It would be substantially less cost than livery for you but might make a loaner be more happy with dealing with poor feet.
 
bobajob said:
Its called experience love, something I see you do not have, yes I did turn down another Stallion through choice. I do not have horses as status symbols I have them because I like them, but there are more things to do in life. I was always a bit sad I had no one to ride with here but glad in a way as nothing has changed with the bitchy attitude I read by certain posters on here. Green eyed monsters everywhere i see.
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Oh just listen to yourself. :rolleyes:

Not all people think of horses as disposable commodities and have to have 'stallions' just because they 'like them'. Not to breed, of course, oh no, to confine them to a life of loneliness and frustration just because you think it makes you look good. I think it is you who needs to grow up, love. :rolleyes:
 
OP- Horses are like people. For some reason some people you don't get on with. Nobody's done anything wrong as such. Don't feel guilty about it. I know on from working on large yard there has been some horse that for some reason I don't click with, and others that no one else like I really like.
 
Thank ******* some of you don't own my horse.

It's pathetic the way people suggest PTS as an answer for everything... I have NO problem with a horse being put down if they are ill/old/facing an uncertain future, but this horse has lost a few shoes FGS. It's not the end of the world, and IMO certainly not a reason to PTS.

OP, personally I'd get her fit and sell in spring. If you don't want to do that I'd advertise her for long term loan, or for sale at a low price. If she's not in work now, could you pay someone to ride her? Hope you get it sorted.

ETS - don't know why it's starred out a word, it wasnt rude :confused:
 
Bobajob - not everyone who disagrees with you are jealous of you for god sake!!!! We just think you are unreasonable to suggest PTS a heathy horse just because she doesn't get on with him/her when someone else may click instantaneously.

OP - agree with other comments in that you find someone to bring horse back into work and sell ASAP.
 
My friends has sold 4 horses because she simply didn't get along with them. She didn't have much trouble and they've all gone to truly excellent homes. One of them was even a project, but she found a different career and is loving life now. Sell and get something you do like, like my friend has done.

Read the PTS post...are you serious? They're living creatures, not cars. I agree with PTS if she was very very old or sick, but she's thrown a few shoes, Sharkie did that when he first came and he's certainly not PTS worthy.
 
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It always amazes me the way people fly off the handle when someone suggests having a 'healthy' horse PTS. Are you all vegetarians, because if not, it's massively hypocritical to have an issue with a healthy animal being killed.

IMO, as long as it is done humanely then there is no problem with it and it is nobody's business but the owner's.

However it doesn't sound in this case like such a step should be necessary, provided the horse doesn't have any major long term health problems or ridden issues. I'd suggest getting the horse fit and schooled, and then selling - even in this market, horses are selling for the right price. There's no shame in not clicking with a horse and deciding it isn't the right one for you :)
 
You won't make any money if you have her PTS (I know you didn't suggest it) so if you send her off on sales livery you also won't make any money but at least she should have a chance of a new life. Maybe contact the sellers? If they bred her they may well want to know how she is doing and even if they just took her back and you didn't get anything for her that would at least mean you didn't have to deal with her.

I do know what it is like not to click with a horse and sympathise, in this weather we can all struggle to find any fun in looking after them especially if it has become a chore. Take care of yourself.
 
bobajob said:
Yes I can do what I want with my horses, I can buy more or get rid its my choice, but most of you on here are talking text book rather than experience.
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bobajob said:
Its called experience love, something I see you do not have, yes I did turn down another Stallion through choice. I do not have horses as status symbols I have them because I like them, but there are more things to do in life. I was always a bit sad I had no one to ride with here but glad in a way as nothing has changed with the bitchy attitude I read by certain posters on here. Green eyed monsters everywhere i see.
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I rarely say this, but LOL
 
I'd advise either sales livery or getting someone in to bring her back to work before selling. Sometimes you just don't click with a horse. Years ago an old bosses wife bought a horse that met every requirement as to what I'd buy if I had a mega budget. And yet, for no good reason I just never enjoyed riding her. Despite the fact to describe the way she rode was exactly what I normally like. If I'd have owned her, I would not have enjoyed her. Not being mine it didn't matter, but like you the first few times I rode her I expected it to come in time. Especially as his wife adored her too, & our taste was the same normally. Some things just aren't meant to be.
And with Wagtail re pts. I'm usually one of the first to suggest pts for a horse with an uncertain future, however lost shoes & an abcess aren't my idea of unsellable. And not going to bother responding to bjs posts, having been accused of having a filthy house because I objected to 'getting rid' as a way of resolving house training a dog. No reasoning with some people.
 
xspiralx said:
It always amazes me the way people fly off the handle when someone suggests having a 'healthy' horse PTS. Are you all vegetarians, because if not, it's massively hypocritical to have an issue with a healthy animal being killed.

IMO, as long as it is done humanely then there is no problem with it and it is nobody's business but the owner's.

However it doesn't sound in this case like such a step should be necessary, provided the horse doesn't have any major long term health problems or ridden issues. I'd suggest getting the horse fit and schooled, and then selling - even in this market, horses are selling for the right price. There's no shame in not clicking with a horse and deciding it isn't the right one for you :)
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I don't think people fly off the handle, but when there are so many alternatives why are *some* people so quick to PTS? IMO, in this case it's seems absurd to even suggest it.

And I am a vegetarian, but I'm not quite sure how that's relevant :)
 
ABC said:
I don't think people fly off the handle, but when there are so many alternatives why are *some* people so quick to PTS? IMO, in this case it's seems absurd to even suggest it.

And I am a vegetarian, but I'm not quite sure how that's relevant :)
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Agree 100% with this. (p.s. I'm a veggie too ;) )
 
ABC said:
I don't think people fly off the handle, but when there are so many alternatives why are *some* people so quick to PTS? IMO, in this case it's seems absurd to even suggest it.

And I am a vegetarian, but I'm not quite sure how that's relevant :)
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Saying that someone shouldn't own horses and other similar comments sounds like flying off the handle to me.

Obviously it is relevant - it's absurd to have an issue with someone putting down a healthy horse if you're happy to tuck into a roast chicken :rolleyes:
 
xspiralx said:
Saying that someone shouldn't own horses and other similar comments sounds like flying off the handle to me.

Obviously it is relevant - it's absurd to have an issue with someone putting down a healthy horse if you're happy to tuck into a roast chicken :rolleyes:
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I understand what you mean. I gave up eating meat because I felt hypocritical as I couldn't kill an animal myself, or get someone else to do it, which is what eating meat is about.

However, I feel your argument does not stack up unless the people you are referring to actually eat horse meat. Horses and dogs do have a special place in our hearts in this country. We make an exception for human beings (wouldn't kill them) so why not make an exception for a few other species of our choosing?
 
BillyBob-Sleigh said:
Agree 100% with this. (p.s. I'm a veggie too ;) )
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Woo! Veggie's are awesome ;) :p

xspiralx said:
Saying that someone shouldn't own horses and other similar comments sounds like flying off the handle to me.

Obviously it is relevant - it's absurd to have an issue with someone putting down a healthy horse if you're happy to tuck into a roast chicken :rolleyes:
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Fair enough, I didn't see the comment you mentioned. But I still disagree, I don't think people are flying off the handle, just astounded that it has been suggested. Like I said, I don't have a problem with horses being PTS for a variety of reasons, but if the horse is healthy, and the only issue is that horse and owner don't "click" then I think PTS is a ridiculous idea. There is simply no need, when there are lots of different options.

I also see your point about the vegetarian thing, but in reality a lot of people see their horses are pets, not livestock, so are unable to compare putting a healthy horse down, and killing a cow for meat. Personally, I see all animals as the same, hence I won't eat any meat products.
 
Wagtail said:
Oh just listen to yourself. :rolleyes:

Not all people think of horses as disposable commodities and have to have 'stallions' just because they 'like them'. Not to breed, of course, oh no, to confine them to a life of loneliness and frustration just because you think it makes you look good. I think it is you who needs to grow up, love. :rolleyes:
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Its a great feeling just being able to do what you want when you want?
My Stallions have grazing and stables and I am fortunate enough to be able to feed them and take care of them, can you say that?

I come on here to find out information on what is going on in the horse World in England, but all I am finding is the likes of certain sad lonely women who think it is great to pull people down.
This blog is about someone asking for help and all you do is round on me, is it because Im not a Johnny English and the dark stuff on my skin will not wash off?

I always find that when people have very little knowlege or experience with horses, especially Stallions they come out with alot of c***.
 
bobajob said:
Its a great feeling just being able to do what you want when you want?
My Stallions have grazing and stables and I am fortunate enough to be able to feed them and take care of them, can you say that?

I come on here to find out information on what is going on in the horse World in England, but all I am finding is the likes of certain sad lonely women who think it is great to pull people down.
This blog is about someone asking for help and all you do is round on me, is it because Im not a Johnny English and the dark stuff on my skin will not wash off?

I always find that when people have very little knowlege or experience with horses, especially Stallions they come out with alot of c***.
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Nothing to do with the colour of your skin, can't even understand where that comment came from.

More to do with the fact you advised PTS when there are alternatives.

There are lots of well-looked after stallions in the UK, who have grazing and stables too. But again, I'm not sure why that is relevant to this thread :confused:
 
bobajob said:
Spiteful sad little bully now I know what sad little bullies do for a living PR HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA.

Ever wondered what your oh thinks when he has to wake up in the morning next to you. PR God that has made my night!
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Thats hypocritical... calling someone a bully, and then saying something like that. :rolleyes:
 
Ladies! (and I use that term loosely ;))

This isn't helping the OP.

Op where are you based? Maybe someone on here is close to you that can help?

Horses are blooming expensive and there is no point doing it if you get no enjoyment out of it.

That said this isn't the horses fault. OP can you grit your teeth and get the mare back in work with a view to selling in the spring? If your at your wits end then could you turn away for the winter and bring back into work late feb? that way spring is around the corner and by the time shes fit the market will be better?
Don't feel bad for not feeling a bond. We can't get on with everyone as proved by some of the posters on this thread :D:D
 
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